


All will be well, as long as you stay by my side

by ThornedRose44



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Humor, Modern Royalty AU, Royal Wedding au, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2019-05-16 06:03:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 159,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14805744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThornedRose44/pseuds/ThornedRose44
Summary: Kara is granted an opportunity like no other when she finds out she is to be among the first group of foreign journalists to ever step foot in the previously isolationist country of Theonia. Newly crowned Queen Lena, who is completely unknown to the wider world, has brought democracy and peace to her troubled nation following her brother's tyrannical rule. She is now attempting to achieve an even bigger goal of finally integrating her nation into the international community... against the wishes of many of her citizens.Queen Lena has proven herself to be dutiful and loyal, placing her responsibility to her people above all else. But will she be willing to sacrifice her heart when an american journalist so easily steals it away?The Royal Wedding AU





	1. The Trip of a Lifetime

**Author's Note:**

> So I said I would take a break from SuperCorp... but then I watched the Royal Wedding and I just couldn't help myself. 
> 
> And since I'm English, I felt like this had to be written and that I should step up and do it...
> 
> If you've read my other work (What's gonna be left...), this will be very similar in tone e.g. a mix of fluff, humor and angst.

Kara pressed her face against the window of the plane taking in as much of the breathtaking sight as possible. Thousands of feet below, the tumultuous, deep blue sea disappeared to be replaced by a canopy of green trees that reached higher than any forest Kara had ever seen. Small towns and bustling villages dotted the country and Kara strived to catch a glimpse of all of them. The excitement buzzing through her body had made sleeping on the plane almost impossible and had kept her leg bouncing nervously throughout the whole flight.

This trip was a big deal.

And an even bigger opportunity.

This trip had the potential to make Kara’s career as a journalist.

“Kara, weigh in on this.” Kara dragged her gaze away from the small porthole to face the seats in front of her where Winn had lifted his head up over the back of his chair to get her attention.

“On what?” Kara asked with a tilt of her head.

James’ head suddenly popped up above the seat next to Winn and said with an exasperated tone, “That we are not in any danger on this trip.”

Kara sighed and shook her head, “Theonia has been stable for almost two years now, we are perfectly safe.”

“Sure, explain that to the heavily armed and dangerous soldiers waiting for us upon arrival.” Winn replied with wide, almost manic eyes.

“Winn…”, Kara groaned out in frustration.

Kara understood where Winn was coming from. Really, she did.

However, she had experienced this exact same conversation everyday with her sister, sometimes twice daily if Alex phoned her before work. The weeks before flying out, Alex had even insisted on teaching her self-defence in the most intense way possible.

Kara was eventually forced to put her foot down when her sister began running ‘surprise’ drills causing Kara to become a flailing mess of limbs whenever someone so much as stepped up behind her. This jumpiness had gotten so bad that she had accidentally broken two different co-worker’s noses on the same day. Cat Grant had to forcibly send her home when other media outlets began to report on the two seperate ambulances that had attended the offices.

“Think about it like this…”, James, ever the mediator, began soothingly, “at least with soldiers around someone might be able to protect you from Kara’s fists of fury.”

Kara let out a despondent sigh, slumping down in her seat, whilst Winn’s hands shot up protectively to cover his still slightly swollen nose. “How was I supposed to know she would react to a surprise hug like that?!” Winn whined pathetically.

“I told you multiple times!” Kara argued back, her hand flapping wildly alongside her words causing Winn to duck down in fear.

“Also, Snapper had literally just been driven off in the back of an ambulance…”, James commented thoughtfully, shooting Kara a small smile before dropping down to join Winn who he had successfully distracted from his original train of thought.

Kara shook her head in amusement at James’ tactics, reaching underneath the seat in front of her to pull out her laptop with the intent to read over her copious notes for probably the thousandth time promising that she could look back out at the picturesque view after one more read-through of the economic background of the country.

The island of Theonia had been more or less completely isolated from the rest of the world for the last two centuries, only interacting with the wider world in the most basic of trades. The country was almost entirely self-sufficient, producing all of its own food and materials without needing to depend on other nations. It’s main export was precious minerals that seemed to be in abundance below the green forests that made up the majority of the environment. These valuable commodities hidden below the surface and only sparingly mined to protect the well-loved forests had led to numerous invasion attempts over the last few hundred years, all of which had been successfully repelled by the country’s citizens. These attempts, though, had resulted in the island becoming extremely closed off and stoic, choosing to maintain tradition at all times, going so far as to continue with a monarchy rather than make the shift to a democracy like the majority of the world.

No foreign journalist had stepped foot on the island in a quarter of a century.

That would all change today.

Today marked the beginning of Theonia’s move to open up it’s borders and embrace the rest of the world.

This dramatic shift in policy and tradition followed an horrific series of events that the rest of world actually knew very little about. The wider world had received only the most primitive pieces of information and the occasional snippets of knowledge to construct a narrative for what had happened.

King Lionel, who had ruled the country with a detached interest in his people, died under mysterious circumstances ten years ago resulting in his young son, Lex, ascending the throne on his eighteenth birthday. King Lex was loved in the beginning of his reign but as time passed, he struggled to maintain control of his people due to his failure to connect and understand his citizens, he began to shift into something cruel. The country became more militaristic, the army being deployed throughout the nation to keep the population docile. Years passed and Lex’s reign turned truly tyrannical.

Violence was used freely against protests.

Public executions became a normal part of everyday life.

The forests that had been under royal protection for years were destroyed to enable the construction of multiple mines, which Lex forced his people to work in on a wage that they could barely survive on.

Attempts to interfere from other countries backfired massively and resulted in numerous civilian casualties.

That’s when the island went into complete lockdown. It was as if the mute button had been pressed on the entire population.

A whole country turning off the lights and pretending they weren’t home.

No information, not even a single piece of news escaped the island.

That was until two years ago.

Two years ago, the UN received a simple missive stating King Lex was dead and that his younger, and nearly completely unknown, sister Lena had ascended to the throne as a figurehead akin to the British royal family, as the country was undergoing a seemingly successful transformation into a democracy.

The entire world went crazy with the news.

Every media outlet on the planet clamoured and begged to be given the chance to enter the country and get the first shot of the Queen, and find out the full story of the events that had resulted in this seismic political shift. All attempts to enter the country failed miserably. The world was forced to wait with bated breath for the next morsel of news.

Six months after Theonia had released its initial statement, a second one followed revealing that J’onn J’onzz would be the first ever democratically elected prime minister. Following this Theonia opened up to the UN, inviting extremely select officials to the country to begin the process of becoming a part of the international organisation. A year later the country had finally begun to settle into its new political landscape and was now welcoming a whole cohort of press to come, visit and find out what the country was really like.

Catco had fought hard to get as many of the illustrious and rare invites as possible, eventually managing to get three places on the plane to make up their reporting team. James easily gained one of the spots what with being the unequivocally best photojournalist in the whole company. Likewise, Winn’s technical ability and the speed he could get a story online even in the most remote of locations made him the next obvious choice, especially when they were competing with an entire plane full of other journalists to get information out first. Kara had hoped and prayed for the final spot, but had presumed that it would go to a more experienced or more well-known reporter. The day Cat Grant had strolled into her office, told her to pack her bags and not let her down had been the one of the happiest days of Kara’s life.

“This seat taken?”

Kara barely resisted rolling her eyes upon recognising the smarmy tone of her former co-worker Mike Matthews. She turned to face the pretty boy television reporter for LYNX News who was already slipping into the empty aisle seat beside her. “Why did you even bother to ask?” Kara questioned as Mike shot her his own version of a charming grin.

“Oh, don’t be like that, Kar.” Mike replied with a disappointed shake of his head.

Kara hated the nickname ‘Kar’.

Everyone else managed to perfectly easily call her by her name so she just couldn’t comprehend how Mike could struggle so much with the extra syllable. Pushing down the flare of anger, Kara decided her best course of action was to ignore him until he got bored and left her to her work. She could feel his eyes on her and it produced a distinct feeling of discomfort in the pit of her stomach, especially when he leant forward into her personal space to look at her typed up notes on the screen of her laptop.

“The national bird of Theonia is the Skylark.” Mike muttered, reading over her shoulder. “Getting a bit caught up in the details aren’t we?”

Kara quickly slammed down the lid of her laptop, a harsh frown settling on her face as she snapped back, “Some of us actually take our job seriously and want our readers to feel like they are being informed by someone who has actually done the research.”

Kara loathed Mike Matthews, which was an incredible achievement on Mike’s part as it takes considerable amount of effort for Kara to even slightly dislike anyone. She wouldn’t even say she disliked Snapper, who was the single most critical person Kara had ever met, she would merely say that they had very different perspectives on… everything.

But Kara loathed Mike.  

And she had good reason to.

Mike had been a friend by association from college who, upon hearing about Kara’s recent promotion to newbie journalist at CatCo, had begged for her help in getting a job. Kara had recommended him, putting her neck and reputation on the line for him as he had promised to not let her down. Mike had quickly excelled at the social media aspect of the work, getting a significant following online due to his charm and good looks.

Issue was none of his work had any substance, some even had major factual inaccuracies.

Kara, unable to resist supporting a struggling friend, helped him with the majority of his workload. Mike’s reputation skyrocketed through taking credit for Kara’s efforts. He repaid Kara’s kindness by hitting on her at all times of the day, spreading rumours that they were in a relationship and that he was the one providing guidance to her instead of the other way around. Just when Kara had reached the end of her patience, Mike quit out of the blue leaving CatCo in the lurch and took a job for the superficial, fear mongering LYNX news conglomeration. Since moving company, Mike had repeatedly made digs online at CatCo, and continued to act as if there was nothing wrong with how he acted.    

“Harsh.” Mike pouted in an attempt to be endearing, “You know you could really benefit from taking a break… relaxing...” Mike placed his hand atop of Kara’s and met her gaze with twinkling eyes, “Maybe I could be of assistance in that department, help you blow off some steam...”

Kara forced a mocking smile, “Wow, you’re ability to retain and then stubbornly ignore the same information over and over again is outstanding.” The twinkle left Mike’s eyes and a crease appeared on his forehead.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Mike asked with a frown.

“It means scram.” James answered coldly, him and Winn both having raised their heads back up and were staring daggers at the unwanted guest.

Mike raised his hands in a placating manner, “Woah boys, I didn’t see you there.” Mike got to his feet with a smirk on his face, pausing to lean against the chair he had just vacated to look over the three of them, “I must admit I’m surprised CatCo managed to wrangle three seats on this trip.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Winn bluntly demanded before James and Kara had a chance to stop him already foreseeing the response.

“Just that CatCo hasn’t exactly been a leading news outlet for quite some time. Last I checked, it’s numbers had taken a significant nosedive in recent years.”

Kara took a sharp breath in, her anger ready to bubble up and spew forth but Mike was already walking away and retreating back to the LYNX news delegate at the front of the plane.

“Grrr….” Kara growled, bringing her gaze round to Winn and James who both looked equally as irritated as she did.

“I hate that guy.” James muttered with a sad shake of his head.

“Trip of a lifetime, my ass.” Winn grumbled, slipping overdramatically back down into his seat.

Kara forced out a few deep breaths trying to calm herself down. She turned back to the window hoping to regain the enthusiasm she had had only a moment ago, “It’s going to be incredible… I just know it.” Kara murmured to herself, her eyes alighting on National City, the capital of Theonia, that was coming into view below. Kara’s heart began to thrum and skip as the plane started its descent, knowing to the very core of her soul that this trip would be truly life-changing, she just didn’t know how yet.


	2. Kara Falls for an Angel

“Hello, please allow me to be the first to welcome you to Theonia.”

The crowd of press were gathered a few hundred yards away from the plane, surrounded by a security force that had been sent to meet them and watch them all closely. Nearby was three large buses waiting to transport the country’s visitors to the capital. The woman greeting the arrivals had long brown hair, bright hazel eyes and a friendly smile which had a reassuring effect on the nervous crowd who still weren't overly sure what to expect.

“I’m pretty sure the soldier who gave me a very thorough pat down was the first to welcome me.” Winn muttered out of the side of his mouth, causing Kara to jab him in the ribs with her elbow. Winn winced sharply but dutifully shut up.

“My name is Samantha Arias and I will be your guide and point person during your stay. Please feel free to come to me with any questions or requests.” Their guide, Samantha, was dressed smartly in dark blue suit trousers and matching jacket over the top of a light blue blouse. She seemed perfectly at ease addressing everyone and not even remotely perturbed by the numerous armed personnel surrounding her, Kara couldn’t help being ever so slightly in awe of her confidence. “Accommodation has been set up for everyone in the Royal Palace,” that revelation caused a stir and a wave of whispers throughout the crowd, “itineraries for your visit will be handed out during the journey to the Royal Palace. Over the course of these two weeks, you will be given plenty of opportunity to meet this country’s citizens and see the sights. Everyone has also been randomly given set interview slots during their time here with Her Royal Highness, the prime minister and other key officials.”

“Damn.” James murmured under his breath.

“What’s wrong?” Kara questioned quietly, keeping an ear out as Sam began to read out which bus each media outlet should get on.

“Random interview slots. It’s a lottery on which journalist will get the first story.” James grumbled with a shake of his head.

“A lottery we could win…”, Kara said trying to put her usual optimistic outlook on the situation.

“Yeah, right.” Winn scoffed, earning himself another poke to the side.

“Winn’s right, we should work under the presumption we are not going to get the first story out.” James regrettably agreed, reaching down to pick up the bag that he had set down by his feet as the crowd began to disperse to their various allocated coaches.

“Okay, so… we don’t get the first story out, we’ll just make sure that the story we do get out is better than all the others, especially LYNX news.” Kara cheered, trying to amp up her unimpressed friends. “Team cheer! CatCo on three?” Kara questioned holding her hand out, palm down, between the three of them expectantly, a wide, encouraging grin on her face.

“Nice try, Kara.” James said patting her shoulder compassionately, ignoring her hand and making to move past her whilst Winn moved his hand in a ‘so-so’ motion to rate her effort. Kara instantly deflated, her hand dropping back to her side. “Come on, we’re on bus number two. We can come up with a better plan when we get to the Palace.” James called back over his shoulder.

“We’re staying in the Royal Palace, how cool is that?” Winn squeaked out, skipping away excitedly at the notion.

Kara let her two friends rush ahead of her, choosing to walk after them at a far more sedate pace. Despite being one of the last ones to board the coach, Kara was lucky enough to grab a window seat allowing her to continue to stare unabashedly at the scenery. Kara took it all in gleefully, noting the differences in the architecture of the towns they drove through. Timber houses seemed to be the staple, all of them individualised with different colours and decorations. She also noted how, even though Theonia had been cut off from the wider world for years, their technology appeared to not only match the capabilities of America but surpassed it many other ways. The vehicles and houses they passed by all seemed to have solar panels on the roof. During the two hour journey, Kara took copious notes and observations, generating an array of questions to go alongside everything she saw.

The Royal Palace was located a couple of miles outside of the capital and Kara almost didn’t realise they were nearing their destination due to the canopy of trees arching over the road preventing a clear view of the looming castle waiting for them at the end of a long drive.

It was shifting into night by the time the cohort of press disembarked the coaches to stand in the dark shadow cast by the ominous, brooding castle and towers they stood in front of. The Palace was grey brick with blue roofing tiles, stained glass gothic windows and stonemason gargoyles that stared down at Kara with hollow eyes and threatening expressions.

A shiver ran down Kara’s spine as she blinked up at the intimidating building that exuded an unsettling coldness. “It’s like the Disney castle had a bastard child with Barad-dûr.” Winn commented nervously, shrinking behind Kara to use her body as a shield from whatever ghosts might charge out at him from the large double doors.

“I’m sure it’ll look better in the daylight.” Kara forced a smile, but even she couldn’t hold off the audible gulp of fear.

“If we make it till then…”, Winn whispered under his breath.

“Alright, everyone!” Samantha had moved to stand between the crowd and the entranceway to the castle, her yell for attention impressively bringing the chattering crowd to silence. “Please follow me, I will take you all to your rooms where you will have some time to settle before dinner.” Samantha waved her hand, gesturing for everyone to follow her.

“What are you guys waiting for?” James asked curiously, joining the two of them as they lingered anxiously at the back of the crowd.

“Nothing!” Kara and Winn answered quickly causing James to raise an eyebrow as the pair exchanged a glance before rushing to join the rest of the press as they made their way into the Palace.

Kara’s jaw dropped in wonderment upon entering the Palace. The atrium was bigger than Kara’s entire apartment, the walls were a royal blue with gilt patterning and a breathtaking vista of the night sky was painted onto the ceiling. An impressive staircase stood before them diverging one floor up to split off to the left and right. Various Palace workers wandered by, only stopping for a breath or two to scrutinise the newcomers, as they went about their tasks.  

Samantha continued to instruct them as she led them up the stairs and took the right hand split. “All of you have accommodation in the West Wing of the Palace and we kindly request that you do not enter the East Wing as it is contains the private residence of Her Majesty and the Royal Offices.” Kara barely took in what was being said, in fact she was so entranced by the elegance and artistry surrounding her James and Winn had to grab her by the elbows and guide her along to make sure they didn’t get left behind. “Dinner will be in an hour. A Palace staff member will come round to collect you and bring you to the Dining Hall where you shall have all of your meals during your stay here.”

The corridors Samantha led them down had clearly been recently redecorated if the pristine light blue panelled walls were any indication. Numerous windows and bright landscape paintings at regular intervals along the way made Kara feel remarkably at ease and realise that was probably the aim of the redecoration in the first place. However, she couldn’t help wondering what it had all looked like before and why it was deemed necessary to change.

“The plan is for you all to rest up for tonight and then hit the ground running tomorrow with a day trip to the capital, National City.” Samantha slowed her pace now as she turned onto a hallway with multiple doors; she then began to read out news groups and gestured at doors to give people their room assignments.

CatCo was given a set of rooms, halfway down the corridor, that consisted of two bedrooms and a small living area which had a sofa and a couple of desks presumably to give them a private space to set up their computers and work in peace. James and Winn took the room with twin beds leaving Kara with the smaller single bedroom that looked out over the expansive gardens.

The three of them quickly set to work, unpacking and helping Winn set up his equipment. Internet had been the main concern as they didn’t know the access that Theonia would have. They were pleasantly surprised to find Ethernet cables that plugged easily into their computers meaning they wouldn’t have to rely on the less than consistent satellite connection. Winn even believed he could set up a router giving them greater mobility and a method to be able to post photos and quick updates when they were out travelling that would give a massive edge on getting the first story out.

Kara was partway through typing up the observations she had made during the bus journey and her first impressions of the palace when a skype message popped up.

 

**[Alex]**

**You better have only just gotten access to the internet, because if you started working before messaging me to say you got there safely, you will be in serious trouble…**

“Uh oh.” Kara muttered, images of her sister stealing a jet to fly after her and make sure she was safe flashing before her eyes. James and Winn seeing the mildly frightened expression flash on her face, stepped behind her to read the threatening message over her shoulder.

“I told you to message her as soon as we landed.” James admonished lightly.

“I know, I know.” Kara flapped her hand at the pair hovering behind her dismissively, at the same there was a knock at the door followed by someone announcing that dinner was ready. Winn laughed cruelly as Kara’s eyes flitted from between her computer to the door where food was literally calling out to her.

“Talk to your sister, otherwise she will go full Liam Neeson on this country.” James ordered grabbing a still chuckling Winn by the shoulder and leading him out the door which closed behind them with an audible click.

Kara pouted, her disgruntled stomach gurgling and rumbling as she hit the call button on skype. Barely one ring went out before Alex accepted and her sister’s face appeared on the screen. It was obvious from her damp hair and make-up free face that she had just gotten out of the shower, having presumably been to the gym earlier. Due to the time difference it was probably around eleven in the morning back home and Kara’s eyes instantly felt heavy upon realising how little sleep she was working on due to travelling.

“I hope you appreciate this, I’m missing dinner to talk to you.” Kara huffed out in greeting.

Alex tilted her head in an ‘ _are you serious’_ manner that always made Kara truly feel like the younger sister. “I’m sorry, I think I misheard you… See that didn’t quite sound like the ‘Alex, I’m sorry I forgot to drop you a message to let you know I’m safe and making you worry unnecessarily.” Kara frowned childishly at her sister’s not even remotely accurate impression of her that consisted of a pout, higher octave voice and over-exaggerated furrowed brow.

“I don't sound like that.” Kara denied with a roll of her eyes.

“Sure, you don’t…”, Alex sarcastically agreed. A moment of silence fell between the sisters as they took the other in.

Yes, Alex was being protective and veering significantly towards having an ‘over’ being attached to that description.

But, Kara understood.

Mostly because she was just as bad, if not worse when you looked at past history. (Kara may or may not be currently banned from the police station Alex worked at after causing more than a few of her sister’s more threatening suspects to beg and plead for police protection).

The two girls had suffered more than their fair share of loss. Kara’s parents had died in a fire when she was thirteen and Alex’s dad, Jeremiah, had died in a car crash on the way home from work. The two had become sisters by clinging to each other tightly and shielding one another to the best of their abilities from the darker parts of the world. Eliza, Alex’s mother and Kara’s adoptive mother, had left the country to work for Medecins Sans Frontieres a few months ago and both of them had felt the loss of not having their parental touchstone on hand. The void left by Eliza’s work abroad and Alex going through a pretty rough break-up with her girlfriend she had been with since the police academy produced a very understandable protective surge for her best friend and sister within Alex. So, for the time being, Kara knew she just had to ride it out until they had both adjusted to their new normals.

“So… tell me everything.” Alex requested with a light, encouraging smile as she pulled a bowl that had been just out of the view of the camera towards herself and began to dig in.

“Do you want to hear about my interaction with my nemesis first or…”, Kara allowed a moment of suspense to build, “do you want to hear about the Royal Palace I’m currently staying in?”

“Palace. Definitely the Palace.” Alex answered with a keen nod of her head, “But, first, what detritus of humanity could possibly have garnered the title of ‘nemesis’ from my sunbeam of a sister?”

Kara groaned, her expression turning sour, the image of Mike’s smarmy smile filling her mind.

“Wait, nevermind. I recognise that look. LYNX news sent Mike?”

“Of course they did.” Kara sighed, “I think they are hoping he can charm the Queen in much the same way he did with that actress last year.”

“Ugh…”, Alex grunted out between spoonfuls of cereal.

“I want to beat him so bad, Alex.” Kara said determinedly, her eyes burning with passion, “I just want to put him in his place and show him that news is still about informing and enlightening people rather than the superficial clickbait LYNX is known for.”

“I have total faith in you.” Alex offered her support sincerely, “But… you know... “, Alex began tentatively, mischief starting to dance in her brown eyes, “If the high-road doesn’t work for you… I have plenty of ideas on how you can take LYNX down a peg or two…”

“No.” The rejection came immediately from Kara. “You have a lifetime ban from pulling pranks after what happened with the fire department.”

Alex spluttered indignantly, “That’s unfair. They started it with blacklight painting the precinct and they massively overreacted-”

“Alex, they called in the bomb squad!” Kara cut in forcefully.

“See massive overreaction!” Alex exclaimed as the blonde continued to shake her head, “Nevermind… just remember my offer is on the table when you change your mind.”

“I won’t, but… thanks.” Kara added the final word in a softer tone hoping it conveyed how much she appreciated the way Alex always had her back and believed in her work.

“Anytime.” Alex responded with a matching gentleness before she shook her head and tilted her head expectantly, “So… you’re staying in a Royal Palace?” Kara smiled brightly and quickly set into describing everything she had seen so far.

James and Winn returned sometime later, both of them squeezing into the frame to catch up with Alex. Their conversation wound down not much later and Kara promised to speak to her again in a couple of days. The three CatCo representatives bid each other goodnight, the real work began tomorrow and they would need to be at their best.

Kara changed into her long blue cotton pyjamas, fell into her single bed and snuggled down. Due to the age of the building and the single glazed windows, there was a distinct chill to the room and the darkness was almost pitch black.

(It was really creeping Kara out).

She was jet-lagged, under immense work-related stress and becoming more and more convinced she was about to star in her very own horror movie.

But worse than all that?

Kara was hungry.

Starving.

Her stomach was so vocal about missing dinner that Kara stood absolutely no chance of falling asleep because of the noise. It was approaching midnight when Kara reached her breaking point and threw the white covers off herself. She stealthily tiptoed out of her room and poked her head out into the corridor that led to the rest of the Palace.  She could hear footsteps in the distance which made her act without much forethought. She hurriedly stepped into the corridor and turned in the direction away from the audible pacing from the nearby hallway.

Kara would tell anyone that she used logic, common sense and knowledge garnered from multiple history documentaries about medieval structures in Europe to try and find the kitchen.

In all honesty, though?

Kara pretty much let her stomach lead the way, her food deprived mind just barely managing to keep track of the various twist and turns she took in her hunt for something edible.

It was after four right turns, two flights of stairs, another right turn and then a left that Kara’s nose twitched and sniffed, smelling a waft of delectable cooking that made her stomach roar in desperation. Kara found herself in a dimly lit corridor, with dark wood panels up to the waist, creamy plastering from panels to the ceiling and cold wooden floors that made her toes curl inwards to limit exposure.

“-so what do you think?” Kara practically jumped into the air upon hearing a voice approaching from further down the corridor. It was then that Kara had the sudden realisation that anyone she ran into wouldn’t really think her desire to raid the kitchen was either believable or a good enough reason to be wandering around the Palace.

“They shouldn’t be here.” A second voice replied bitterly, whilst Kara dashed from door to door, jiggling the handles to try and find an unlocked room.

“Yeah, but if they weren’t here, the Palace wouldn’t need so much extra staff and I, personally, quite like getting paid…”, The original speaker justified with a teasing tone that was followed by an annoyed grunt.

The Palace workers were seconds away now and Kara quickly moved to hide in the next doorway along, knocking loudly against the dark wood when she pressed her back to the closed door. She hoped the slight depression caused by the doorway into the wall would provide suitable cover if a miracle occurred and the two speakers didn’t turn down into the hallway and instead merely walked by.

“Okay, I see your point. But I swear... if any of them write a negative piece on Her Majesty-”

_Please don’t turn down here, please don’t turn down here_ , Kara begged of whatever deity would listen as she pushed herself harder against the door and closed her eyes awaiting the inevitable.

“Spiders in their beds?”

“I was thinking scorpions… but spiders work as well.”

Laughter followed and reverberated down the passageway. Kara was just about ready to step forward and accept her fate when everything went sideways.

Well, not everything.

Just Kara.

“Woah!” Kara yelped as the door she had been resting the majority of her weight against swung open behind her and she fell backwards landing painfully on her back.

Kara groaned, her hands moving to rub the back of her head where it had connected with the grey tiled floor she was now lying on. Her eyes, that had been closed, blinked blearily open to take in her surroundings.

“Holy moly, am I dead?!” The exclaimed question fell easily from Kara’s lips in her dazed and confused state as she stared up at what she could only describe as an angel.

Standing by her head, staring down at her with wide, entrancing green eyes hidden behind large round glasses was probably the prettiest woman Kara had ever seen.

The angel had dark hair that was thrown haphazardly into a lopsided loose bun from which locks were escaping to frame her sharp, angular face. She was pale, her skin almost appearing to glow as her body blocked out the light cast from the fire behind her causing a halo of light to ring her form. It was as Kara’s gaze dropped down from her face to take in her clothing that she realised she might not be dead. Kara’s angel was dressed in a baggy grey hoodie with ‘National City University’ printed in bold, blue lettering across the chest and equally overly large sweatpants which were a dark blue. Kara’s eyes must have looked like they rolled into the back of her head as she took in the blue, fuzzy socks that were the final surreal piece of attire completing the image of the woman who had literally swept her off her feet.

“Are you okay?” The question came out desperately, finally breaking through Kara’s trance. Kara’s eyes dashed back to the woman’s face who was staring at her with obvious care and concern that inexplicably had Kara’s heart jumping into her throat and preventing any words from coming out.

The woman’s expression of distress and worry appeared to increase tenfold at Kara’s continued dumb silence. She moved round to kneel by Kara’s side, her face hovering over Kara’s, inspecting her for clear signs of injury.

“Did you hit your head? How many fingers am I holding up?” The woman’s hand appeared in Kara’s peripheral vision and it took far more effort than Kara expected to drag her eyes away from the vibrant green eyes that had captivated her.

“Three.” Kara mumbled, moving to push herself up when she suddenly felt a touch of light pressure on her shoulder which encouraged her to move much more slowly. She looked over and was only marginally surprised to find the dark-haired woman’s hand gingerly placed on her shoulder.

“Be careful.” The request was soft and sincere, the verbal equivalent of the kindness flickering in the green eyes watching Kara closely.

Not trusting her voice, Kara nodded and the woman’s hand shifted away from Kara’s shoulder, leaving a warm imprint that radiated through to the rest of Kara’s nerves. The woman stood up, offering her hand out for Kara to take and help her stand. Kara hesitated for a second, her skin buzzing from the previous point of contact and arcs of electricity sparking along her fingertips in anticipation of touching the pale, luminescent hand in front of her.

The woman arched a shapely eyebrow at her in question causing Kara to swallow thickly and jolt enough to grab the proffered hand and be pulled to her feet. As soon as she seemed stable on her own, their hands disconnected and yet again Kara was left with that warm fuzzy imprint burning where they had touched.

The woman stepped back and Kara finally got a good look at the room she had fallen into. A fire was burning off to one side providing warmth and light, there was modern-looking red cupboards topped with marble that ran along one wall and also stood as an island in the centre of the floor space. An industrial fridge hummed in the background whilst a saucepan loaded onto a gas stove simmered and popped.

Kara’s mouth watered as she recognised the smell of spaghetti bolognaise.

“Would you like something to eat?” Kara dragged her eyes away from the cooking food to look at the woman who was now closing the door Kara had fallen through.

“More than anything.” Kara eagerly answered, her eyes moving between the midnight chef and the food calling out to her.

“Well, you don’t seem to be concussed…”, The woman stepped closer to inspect Kara’s face.

“No concussion, I swear.” Kara tried to reassure with a bright smile, her breath coming out a bit more choked under the scrutiny of piercing green eyes. “Just midnight munchies from missing dinner.”

“Take a seat.” The chef ordered lightly, gesturing to a stool by the island counter. “The least I can do after nearly knocking you out is feed you.”

“It was more my fault…” Kara admitted, slipping easily onto the stool whilst the other woman returned to cooking, her back to Kara. The blonde watched her closely, taking in how at home the other woman was moving about the kitchen, leisurely grabbing a couple of jars of spices nearby to add a final touch of flavour to the food.

“True.” The woman agreed, shooting a small smile over her shoulder at the blonde, who was forced to duck her head to hide a growing blush, “Good manners, however, prevent me from letting you take all the blame and leaving hungry.”

“But I still need to take some of the blame.” Kara guessed, fiddling with the corner of her glasses.

“If you want food… yes.” The small smile on the raven haired woman became a smirk and Kara’s blush spread to the tips of her ears.

“Deal.” Kara huffed out with a forced tone of disgruntlement. The chef turned back to the food, flicking off the gas and retrieving two plates to begin dishing up. Kara watched her work, examining the rest of the kitchen so as not to give the impression of a total creep. Pots and pans were strewn everywhere, various utensils littered the counters and a leatherbound book was open on the island in front of the seat across from Kara. “So, can I ask why you are cooking what looks to be a three course meal at midnight?” The question came out easily as Kara found herself keen to engage this kindly Palace worker in conversation.

“I like cooking. I enjoy doing it when everything is quiet and there’s no chance my failed experiments will be seen by others.” The green-eyed woman answered honestly, her gaze flicking over her shoulder to meet Kara’s own eyes. “I also missed dinner.” An almost imperceptible flash of sadness crossed her face and Kara instantly opened her mouth to offer comfort or support when a bowl of spaghetti alongside a knife and fork were placed in front of her. “Here you go.”

“Thanks.” Kara gratefully said, digging in without hesitation as the other woman pushed aside the overly thick book to put her own food down and eat. Kara took her first bite, and had to forcibly restrain herself from letting out a moan of appreciation. The whole meal was splendidly seasoned, the sauce rich, the pasta savoury and the grated cheese on top the perfect addition. “Oh my god, this is amazing. Like the best I’ve ever had.”

“Says the girl with a head injury.” The girl sat across from her deadpanned.

“I’ve always been told my stomach does most of the thinking, so no loss there.” Kara replied, enjoying far too much the amused twinkle her honest and wry comment garnered in the green eyes staring back at her. They both ducked their heads down at the same time and resumed eating.

“You’re not working too hard, are you?”

Kara had just finished her serving and was contemplating whether it was appropriate or not for her to lick the piece of crockery clean, not wanting to waste any of the food she had been given, when the softness of the question pulled her out of her thoughts.  “Huh?” Kara eloquently said highlighting her confusion.

“You missed dinner.” The chef explained, pushing her own empty bowl aside and leaning forward to scrutinise Kara better through her wide round glasses. “I just wanted to check that you are not doing too much or being asked to do too much.”

Kara’s heart fluttered and soared at the thoughtfulness of the woman, “Oh no, nothing like that. It was actually my sister’s fault, she wanted to catch-up.”

“Ah, okay.” The woman’s expression, which had been lined and furrowed in concern, eased and softened as an easy half-formed smile settled on her face upon hearing Kara’s reassurances.

“You know, I could ask you the same thing...” Kara began, wanting to ease some of that sadness she had glimpsed earlier in any way she could.

“Hmm?”

“Working too hard?” Kara prompted in response.

“Always.” The dark haired woman revealed the truth of her one word answer by immediately yawning, her eyes beginning to blink sleepily. Kara then felt her own wave of exhaustion, with food warming her belly and the promise of a heavy day tomorrow, Kara’s energy started to seep out of her.

“What are you reading?” Kara asked curiously, pointing to the intimidating book by the chef’s elbow.

“Well, I don’t really know if you can call what I’m doing reading.” The woman admitted, her nose scrunching up adorably in frustration as she eyed the book distastefully, “I read about a page a week. And I’ve been reading it for nearly a year now and I’m not even halfway.”

“Mustn’t be a very interesting book.” Kara remarked with a shake of her head.

“It’s very critically acclaimed.” The chef weakly defended, her hand moving to close the open pages.

“Uh huh… that’s simply a pretentious way of saying boring.”

“Excuse me?” Kara winced at the curt tone her comment had garnered. Her dinner companion had crossed her arms over her chest and raised her chin defiantly.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean any offense.” Kara raised her hands imitating a surrender, causing the green eyes to become less defensive and the crossed arms facing the blonde to unfold slowly. “It’s just…”, Kara licked her lips, her brow furrowing as she struggled to find the words, “A good book, and by that I mean a book you actually like, you’ll be desperate to read the next page. You’ll carry it with you everywhere in the hopes that you can find time to read even one more sentence. It’s treasured and loved. And you…”, Her blue eyes flickered over to the leather-bound book sat miserably by the chef’s elbow, “look at that book as if it personally insulted you.”

The chef shook her head slowly in disappointment unable to meet Kara’s gaze as she muttered sadly.“I’ve never read a book that makes me feel like that…”

“You just haven’t found the right book yet.”

“Hmm, maybe you’re right.” The woman hummed in agreement granting Kara another glimpse of that shy, small smile that she had been blessed to see a couple of times already.

Kara knew then, if she didn’t pull herself away from this table, she wouldn’t find it in herself to leave and she was close to falling asleep on the marble counter. “I should probably get back to my room. Early start tomorrow.” Kara explained, rubbing the back of her neck ruefully. The woman across from her nodded her head in understanding and got to her feet at the same time as Kara. “It was nice meeting you.” Kara couldn’t help but think those words were wholly inadequate.

This was the first day of probably one of the most important and unique trips of Kara’s life. She had seen so much since getting off the plane. She had gotten to be one of the first outsiders to step foot in this beautiful country. She was currently staying in a Royal Palace. And yet… the best part of Kara’s day?

Eating spaghetti bolognaise with the Palace’s sleepy, casually dressed chef.

“It was nice meeting you too.” The chef led Kara back to the door she had fallen through and moved to open it for her as she ordered with faux-harshness. “Don’t work too hard.”

“Little hypocritical.” Kara commented with a cheeky smile, stepping past the chef to linger in the doorway, not quite ready to leave the warmth, comfort and company of the small kitchen despite the fatigue in her body.

“Are you calling me a hypocrite?” The chef asked raising her eyebrows and forcing a completely fake expression of offense.

“Well, I would call you by your name but I don’t believe you ever introduced yourself.” Kara felt rather smug about her comeback until she saw the confusion on the chef’s face.

The dark haired woman shook her head in exasperation, a beautiful chuckling sound escaping from her as she smiled, commenting in amusement before swinging the door shut, “Funny and cute.”


	3. The Complexity of Souffles

The door to the warm, inviting kitchen closed with a soft click, but Kara remained in the hallway staring at it for a long moment, her ears striving to hear that wonderful chuckle they had been blessed with hearing only a few seconds ago. Kara’s heart was beating hard against her rib cage, skipping a beat every single time she remembered that coy smirk that went along with the words, ‘funny and cute’.

Funny and cute?

Those words stuck with Kara as she wandered back to her room, her feet retracing her previous steps with ease as her mind drifted back to those shared minutes in the kitchen. Those precious memories played back on repeat whilst she slept and stayed at the forefront of her mind when she got ready for the next day in a daze.

Actually it wasn’t the kitchen or the food, Kara kept remembering.

It was the woman.

“Kara.”

The woman who treated her with such concern and care even though they barely knew each other.

“Kara?”

The woman who made her smile and then genuinely listened to her.

“Kara, are you listening?”

The woman with the dark messy hair.

“Earth to Kara.”

And the piercing, incredibly green ey-

“KARA!!”

Kara jumped back to reality with a jolt, the suddenness causing her to try and shoot to her feet, only for her knee to bang with a resounding thwack against the wooden table she was seated at in the dining hall. “What- What’s going on?” Kara gasped out as she rubbed her now painfully aching leg.

Winn stared at her from across the table with a confused expression, “I’ve been trying to get your attention for the last five minutes but you’ve been away with the fairies since you woke up.”

“I was listening, I swear.” Kara falsely claimed, deciding to hide her face by looking down and shovelling a forkful of eggs into her mouth, knowing that her expression and rambling always gave away her deceptions.

Winn rolled his eyes at Kara’s futile attempt at lying, “Sure. If you were listening, where’s James right now?”

Kara’s head rapidly moved to take in the empty seat beside Winn, “Wh-when did James le-leave?” She spluttered out around a mouthful of food, the surprise forcing out the question before she had time to finish chewing.

Winn looked mildly disgusted by Kara’s uncouth table manners, going so far as to lean back to ensure he didn’t get sprayed by egg particles, “Ugh.. were you raised by wolves or something?” Kara’s gaze narrowed harshly at her friend as she began to over-exaggeratedly work her jaw and swallow. “Sam called up the media outlets.” Winn jerked his head towards one end of the dining hall where Kara spotted James queueing up with representatives from each news group.

“What for?” Kara asked after taking a sip of her orange juice to help her breakfast down and to regain some degree of dignity.

“Interview schedules.” Winn said those two words with the same level of seriousness Kara would expect him to use if he was announcing ‘World War 3’ to the public.

“What are our chances of getting the money shot?” Kara inquired with a gulp, not able to pull her eyes away from the queue that moved forward with agonisingly slow steps. Each journalist that reached the front of the line was handed a piece of paper, so far every single one of them would read the content and their hopeful, anxious faces would fall before being quickly replaced with a neutral professional mask.

The money shot.

It was the biggest story that could come out of this trip.

The first photo of the Queen of Theonia.

King Lionel, had been a very private, hands off monarch during his reign and because of this his young family had been kept out of the public eye for the most part.

Then Lex had become King and then…

The blackout.

Queen Lena had taken over the throne in complete obscurity to the rest of the world. The UN’s arrival over the last year had been undertaken without the presence of any foreign press. If there were any photos of the Queen, they had not been shared with the rest of the world.

The money shot.

The photo that would present the head of one of the oldest, still reigning, families to the general public.

That first interview would be a gift from heaven.

“We’re about to find out.” Winn replied as James, finally stepped up to the front of the queue, and accepted the piece of paper from Sam with a friendly smile and nod of the head. Kara and Winn watched with bated breath as James glanced down at the document, his face giving absolutely nothing away. He turned on the spot and headed back to his friends, not a single crack appearing in his neutral expression.

“Well?!” Kara and Winn both asked the second James re-took his seat.

James sighed and shook his head, the mask finally dropping away to reveal a resigned expression. Kara’s heart sank with disappointment, the good mood she had deserting her in the face of the missed opportunity.

“Did we at least get second?” Kara couldn’t help but inquire pleadingly.

Another shake of the head causing Kara to load more food onto her plate from the surrounding central platters in the hope to drown out her disappointment with comfort calories.

“Third?” Winn, always a glutton for punishment, begged.

“Last.” James revealed handing the sheet of paper over to Winn to inspect for himself.

“Last? B-b-but…”, Winn stammered out as he stared down at the words before him. “Everything that she is willing to say will have been published by that point!”

Kara regretted to admit it but she agreed. If the Queen was smart she would have only a few set topics and questions she would be willing to answer. The first few interviews would be the most beneficial as they would present this information as new whilst later interviews would merely be repeating what had come before it.

By going last, CatCo would have absolutely nothing new to offer the world.

Kara demolished two further omelettes, almost a complete plate of bacon and two muffins as Winn continued to grumble and whine, and James pretended to nod along whilst he actually watched the queue of people to observe their reactions. Once Kara had grown bored of Winn’s complaints, she reached over to snatch the CatCo’s interview schedule to examine for herself.

“Hey! It’s not all bad!” Kara cheered as her eyes took in the information in front of her. “We have the first interview with the Theonian UN ambassador, we get to present Theonia’s international plan and strategy!”

“Kara.” Winn said with a mournful shake of his head, “You and I, both know that international plan and strategy doesn’t sell half as much as a Royal photo.”

“Yeah, well it should!” Kara snapped back, angry about the truth of what he said more than at Winn himself.

Winn shrugged helplessly, showing his agreement with Kara’s rebuke, and, to make up for his negativity, murmured, “We also have a pretty early slot next week with the Science and Technology minister, I’m sure we’ll get some pretty great information from them.”

Kara exhaled slowly, giving Winn an apologetic and hopeful smile, “With your help? Definitely.”

“YES! YES! YES!” The victorious yell caused the two friends to look away from each other and turn to the front of the dining hall.

“You’ve got to be kidding me…”, Kara muttered.

“That’s right! Guess who is going to be the first to meet the Queen!!” Mike shouted, waving his piece of paper arrogantly in the air as his free hand pointed aggressively to the other journalists in the room. “Oh yeah! It’s me!” Mike proceeded to strut back over to his table where the other LYNX reporters were clapping and whooping.

“Okay, Kara.” Winn called out pulling Kara’s gaze away from the LYNX table, where the juvenile reporters were still yelling and jeering whilst they jumped up and down like hyped up children, and over to her equally despondent colleagues that had slumped down in their seats. “What positive spin do you have for this situation?”

Kara opened her mouth, but no sound came out.

Upon seeing that Kara had no optimistic outlook to provide, Winn and James both slouched over their food, and the three CatCo reporters spent the rest of breakfast ignoring the raucous laughter from the LYNX table.

Following breakfast, the cohort of reporters were loaded back up into the coaches to be driven into the capital city where Sam was to give them a tour consisting of historical sites and key points of interest, specifically National City University situated in the very centre of the city. The buses were unloaded at the entranceway to the University campus which consisted of an eye catching array of modern and classical buildings. Glass and timber constructions adjoined older gray brick architecture. People, young and old, wandered between the various spaces and departments cheerily and with an eager step.

James, and the other photojournalists, set to work immediately snapping as many pictures as he could whilst Kara and Winn listened attentively to Sam as she spoke about the University’s history and future intentions. Kara, and many others, though couldn’t help but notice how the citizens gave their group a wide berth and how their expressions would turn dark and suspicious whenever they glanced their way.

“National City University is the oldest educational institution in Theonia and is widely regarded as the top university in the country,” Sam began her talk confidently, her voice carrying to all the journalists without needing to yell, “though I would argue that Reignhold University, located on the west coast, is far more deserving of that title.” Sam smiled widely as she pulled a black scarf with ‘Reignhold University’ stitched in bold, yellow lettering out of her handbag and wrapped it around her neck. Polite laughter spread around the crowd, and friends nudged each other good-humouredly to mutter about their own shared university rivalry.

“Clever.” James whispered to Kara as he paused in his rapid photo taking.

“I wouldn’t say it was a particularly clever joke.” Kara replied quietly, shooting her friend a curious look.

“I didn’t mean it was a clever or funny joke. What I meant was that it was a clever ploy.”

“How so?” Kara tilted her head, watching her contemporaries continue to poke each other about their alma maters.

“We’re no longer paying attention to the glares.” James revealed, his gaze flickering over to a group of students stood across a nearby green lawn who were positively glowering at the journalists.

A knot of anxiety formed in the pit of Kara’s stomach as she forced herself to stare at Sam instead of the hatred directed towards them.

“NCU is renowned for its engineering programme and recent scientific breakthroughs.” Sam continued as she began to lead the group inside the university.

The tour was intense, enlightening and had Kara’s hand cramping after an hour as she struggled to note down everything they were told. It turned out higher education was fully funded and provided to all citizens hence the wide range of ages and backgrounds of the students they saw from afar. Also, the various universities in the country appeared to have specialities and only offered options related to it’s area of expertise. NCU was a science university, emphasis placed on engineering whilst Reignhold placed focus on English and History. Classes were small and Kara noted that the majority of the teaching was done in the form of tutorials and hands on experience compared to lectures.

Sam directed the rambunctious crowd like a commander of a well-oiled platoon, and handled pointed questions regarding King Lex’s reign better than most politicians. She didn’t hide from the questions but was always extremely careful with what she revealed, most of what she said was merely a repeat of what the journalists already knew. The only new detail that Sam was compelled to let slip was that the University had been forcibly closed for three years during Lex’s reign and was reopened by Queen Lena the day after she ascended the throne.

The reporters were divided into groups and allowed to sit in on various lessons to get a feel for the education system and the intellect of the brightest Theonia had to offer. Kara’s good mood that had seriously depleted following Mike’s obnoxious victory dance earlier that morning and her conversation with Winn, was rediscovered upon seeing the thirst for knowledge and information present in the students she observed in an advanced robotics class.

After the classes, Sam led the group through the city and into the ‘August Gardens’ to have lunch. The August Gardens, named after the Theonian King who placed a protective mandate on the green forests and spaces, was an expansive and, just like the University, an interesting mix and complement of styles surrounded by the skyscrapers and constructions of the city. Fields and thickets of trees blended and flowed into well-tended and precisely landscaped areas that bloomed with colour from regular, everyday flowers to the far more exotic. The Gardens took Kara’s breath away and she was desperate to explore every inch but was limited by the protective encirclement of the security force there to keep them safe.

Lunch consisted of buffet-style appetizers brought from the Palace to be enjoyed as a picnic. The food, like breakfast, was delicious and Kara couldn’t help imagining the chef from last night perfecting each simple meal at the dead of night and then replicating it day in and day out in the Palace kitchens.

Kara sat back on the grass, taking bites out of a sandwich held in one hand whilst her other hand continued to scribble away in her notebook. She forced herself to stop her note-taking every now and again so she was able to simply absorb the warmth and sights surrounding her.

“Enjoying yourself so far?”

Kara looked up, squinting against the sun, to see their tour guide Sam smiling kindly down at her, obviously making the rounds to ensure that the journalists were happy and felt taken care of. “Yeah… this place is… an oasis.”

Sam chuckled at the description, glancing around before taking a seat next to the blonde. “You know, I’ve checked on over half the reporters here and you’re the only one who has appreciated this place.”

“Your country is incredible.” Kara said honestly, mildly disappointed that her fellow compatriots didn’t see Theonia’s beauty and then felt guilty about how she had spent most of the morning secretly thinking solely about missing out on the money shot. She was one of the few privileged outsiders to be granted an all-access guided tour of this hidden gem of an island and she was completely being swept away by some intangible competition that wouldn’t matter in a couple of weeks time. “I get why your fellow countrymen don’t like outsiders.”

Sam pursed her lips at that statement, her gaze sweeping the area and coming to rest on a particularly old tree which Theonians were relaxing in the shade of. “Foreign countries may have caused us a lot of harm… but we have hurt ourselves in far worse ways.” Kara’s breath caught in her throat as Sam opened up ever so slightly. “We were given a chance to move past that. The Queen showed us a better way. Inspired us to rise out of the darkness and strive towards peace.” Sam turned her head back to Kara, giving her a small smile that was equal parts sad and hopeful. “Now we are hoping that we can share that endeavour with the rest of the world.”

Sam slowly got to her feet, her smile shifting away from the mixed emotion one she had been wearing back to, what Kara now knew to be a show, her wide and welcoming one. “Sam.” Kara called out as the other woman began to move away, heading towards another nearby journalist. Sam stopped and looked back at Kara with a questioning expression. “I hope that we can live up to the worthiness of that goal.”

Sam blinked once, her smile flickering back to the one that had seemed far more real as she replied, “Some of you already do.”

Kara watched as Sam shifted back into her friendly tour guide persona and continued to check on the rest of the group. Once everyone had finished up lunch, they were all led further round the park, Sam pointing out the significance of flowers and the landscaping design. The rest of the afternoon was a walking tour of National City, ending at the Royal Cathedral where every monarch, since it had been built, had been crowned and married.

Kara stood in the shadow of the cathedral, in awe of how it towered over her. The bricks were worn and the steps leading up to the cavernous building were lined with rows of white and purple flowers. Whereas most of the constructions in National City, and Theonia in general, were made with light timber wood, the beams running through the cathedral were dark and rich, making it stand out even further. Kara had never been particularly religious but she admired the sturdiness, stability and reassurance the place exuded around the newer buildings surrounding it.

As the sky took on a red tinge, signaling the transition into evening, the reporters were loaded back onto the coaches, Kara grabbing a seat next to Winn with James in front. The journey back was marked by constant activity. Each news reporting team were uploading photos from cameras onto their laptops whilst trying to hurriedly write captions and a quick summary. Everyone was trying to get everything ready before getting back, the first to get internet access and upload the images from today would achieve a significant victory.

Winn’s fingers skittered across the keys of the laptop, formatting and preparing a layout to complement James’ photos of the day and the words Kara was directing him to write.

“And there’s one of my favourite blondes.”

Kara, Winn and James both groaned dismally as Mike came to stand by Kara’s seat.

“Can we help you?” Kara sarcastically asked through clenched teeth.

“Hey now…”, Mike tried placating the harsh glares with a soothing tone and an uncomfortable pat on the shoulder that had Kara shrinking into Winn’s side. “I get why you’re treating me this way.”

“I really don’t think you do.” Kara muttered to Winn under her breath as Mike’s oblivious face lit up with a beaming smile.

“You’re jealous that I was chosen to be the one to present the Queen of Theonia to the rest of the world. And don’t worry... I forgive you.” Kara’s jaw dropped, unable to comprehend what Mike had just said and that he had said it with total sincerity.

“You forgive us?” James repeated dumbly, his face the epitome of disbelief, whilst Kara couldn’t even form a sentence and Winn murmured ‘he can’t be serious’ with a disgusted shake of his head.

“Yeah, I do.” Mike stated with a solemn nod as if he was making a noble sacrifice.

“Y- You… I- I-.... Wha-WHAT?!” Kara spluttered out, her hands gesturing wildly and a deep crease appearing on her forehead indicating an indignant speech that wished to be unleashed. Mike’s face became confused as he watched Kara struggle to harness her anger into a coherent form.

“Don’t bother.” Winn requested gently, placing a light hand on top of Kara’s wrist to still her movements. “He is most definitely not worth it.”

“B-b-but…”, Kara trailed off, letting out a deep breath in an attempt to release some of the frustration boiling below the surface. She stared dead ahead for a second, before turning back to face Mike with a saccharine sweet smile. “That’s very generous of you, Mike.”

“Thank you, Kar.” Mike responded, placing his hand over his heart as if he was genuinely touched by Kara’s comment, while the blonde tried to not react to the loathed nickname.

Winn and James both glanced at Kara with curious, apprehensive expressions but Kara ignored them and focused on making her smile brighter and more cheerful, “It’s the truth… especially when you consider how you don’t mind that we are going to be the first to upload actual photos of Theonia’s capital from today.”

Mike shook his head playfully and asked in an overly patronising tone, “Kar, you don’t actually think you’ll get there before us, right?”

“Yeah, I do. I ran track at college and if I’m not mistaken… we’re closer to the door.” Kara explained staring up at Mike with wide, innocent eyes.

Mike’s cocky smile faltered slightly, as he glanced over to the back of the bus where he and the rest of LYNX were seated and then to Kara who was situated halfway down the bus, calculating distances and time. “We’ll see about that.” Mike replied, a growl to his tone, as he strode back to his seat and instantly engaged his colleagues in a harshly whispered conversation.

“Err… Kara?” James inquired with a raised eyebrow as Kara turned smugly back to watch Winn work on his computer. “Is it really a good idea to rile them up?”

Winn laughed at the question, answering before Kara had a chance to, “Ye of little faith, my friend.” James’ brow furrowed in confusion, at the same time as the bus began to slow down in its approach to the Palace. James gathered his belongings, ready to sprint when he noticed that neither Winn nor Kara had made any move to ready themselves for the ensuing and expected riot.

“Guys!” James frantically yelled trying to get his friends’ attention as their bus came to a stop.

The second the brakes were on, chaos erupted.

LYNX were the first to react and make their play for the door. Mike charged down the aisle, pushing and shoving anyone that tried to obstruct his path, the rest of the LYNX cohort hot on his heels. The entire bus scrambled to their feet, resulting in absolute mayhem. The CatCo representatives stayed in their seats, ducking their heads down and trying to avoid the flailing limbs and war-cries as the reporters fought to get back to their rooms where they could access the internet.

In the space of less than a minute, the bus was empty save for three seats.

“Winn?” Kara uttered his name softly, slowly sitting up from the foetal position she had curled into to protect herself from an overly aggressive New York Times reporter and the handbag she had used to whack people out of her way. “Please tell me, the wifi you put in reaches where we are right now…”

“Hell yeah, it does. In fact it reaches the top of the long-ass driveway to the Palace, our story went up nearly five minutes ago.” Winn revealed with a wide grin whilst James looked between the two of them in awe.

“We were first?” James checked, trying to reign in the broad grin that was threatening to breakthrough preemptively.

“We were first.” Winn confirmed with a matching wide smile, “Cat Grant has already sent an email saying, and I quote, ‘not bad’. That was it. Just those two words”

“Holy shit, that’s high praise.” James whistled out in appreciation.

Kara watched the interaction proudly, relishing the victory whilst she could. Knowing that Mike would be gloating for the entire trip after tomorrow about getting the money shot, Kara planned to fully rub this accomplishment in LYNX’s faces. She had no intention of throwing her achievement in the face of any other reporters, however, not wanting to be rude even if she did see them trampling one another only moments ago to get the story out.

The three of them vacated the bus at a far more sedate pace, leisurely dropping their bags back off in their rooms before heading to dinner. Kara couldn’t help the smug look she shot Mike when he trudged into the dining hall upon seeing the snarl he directed her way. Other reporters kindly came up to congratulate them and teasingly state that they will beat them the next day.

After minor prodding and encouragement from Kara, she managed to convince her friends to share the wifi with the rest of the cohort, the conversation with Sam earlier running through her mind as motivation. Sam, who had watched the chaos on the bus and saw what Kara was doing, gave her a grateful smile before ducking out of the hall presumably to head home for the end of the day.

Kara was distracted from pretty much the second she had walked back into the Palace.

Now that she was finally able to relax, her thoughts wandered happily back to the chef from last night. Admittedly, though, whenever there had been a quiet moment during the day, Kara had found her mind automatically drifting to the woman who had left such a large impression on her.

She wanted to know if the chef would be experimenting in her little kitchen again tonight.

She wanted to know if the dark haired beauty had a better day than yesterday and actually got to eat dinner.

She wanted to ask, after seeing National City University, if the woman she had mistook for an angel had attended and what she had studied.

If she had been to the August Gardens.

If she had a favourite spot in National City.

She had shared one meal with the chef and immediately following it every spare synapse, that wasn’t occupied with doing her job, had been taken over by green eyes and a soft smile.

Kara wanted to see her again. Needed to see her again.

Hence why, at close to midnight, Kara snuck out of her bed yet again and retread her steps back to the corridor she had stumbled upon last night. She approached the door she had fallen through and found herself hesitating, worrying that the chef wouldn’t actually be there even though she could see light escaping from the bottom of the door, or even worse didn’t want her coming back.

Hadn’t the chef said she liked cooking at this time because no one else was around, Kara bleakly remembered as she gnawed worriedly on her bottom lip. Kara couldn’t comprehend why she was suddenly so overwhelmed with fear about being rejected. No one liked being rejected, but Kara had never let that stop her. Numerous times she had put herself forward for stories at work or extended invites to friends when it was unlikely they would say yes.

Kara had never let fear hold her back… until now.

Kara forced in a deep breath through her nose in an attempt to gain control of her nerves when she smelled it.

The heavy acrid scent of smoke.

Before she had a chance to really think it through, Kara was racing into the kitchen at an impressive speed considering she had gone from standing still. The chef was stood by the slightly open oven waving a dishcloth around in a valiant attempt to disperse grey clouds spilling forth. Kara slowed for only a second, appreciating how calmly the woman was handling this culinary disaster in the same casual wear she had been wearing last night, before running forward to grab the oven glove laid out on the counter nearby.

The chef glanced up, her at ease expression changing to one of mild shock at the sight of Kara’s sudden appearance. Kara threw the woman a small smile which she hoped made her look cool under pressure but most likely gave the impression of a rather unstable personality instead. Kara gently nudged the chef aside with a tap of her elbow before proceeding to bend down to pull out the blackened, unrecognisable mess in a white ceramic dish and quickly drop it into the sink where she turned on the tap causing a hiss of steam to be released.

“Thank you.” Kara turned away from the smokey, unappetising mess only to find the green eyes she had been hoping to see obscured behind heavily steamed up glasses. The disappointment about the loss of that sight though was more than made up for in Kara’s opinion by the wide smile accompanied by an adorable dimple on the chef’s face.

“Don’t worry about it.” Kara tried to nonchalantly dismiss the gratitude, hoping to keep up the appearance of coolness she thought she had gained during her timely intervention. Unfortunately for Kara, whose hand was fiddling with the tap on the sink, she accidentally turned the water streaming out to full power when she attempted to lean casually against the countertop. “Shoot!” Kara exclaimed, her blue pyjamas getting sprayed liberally as she struggled to remember which way to turn the tap in her panic.

A pale hand reached past Kara’s flailing hands and shut the water off immediately. “Smooth.” The one word was whispered into Kara’s ear and sent a wave of electricity down every nerve in her body like she had been struck by lightning. She jumped back a step instinctively, her muscles twitching in desire to… she actually had no idea what is was she wanted to do but she knew putting space between herself and the chef, who was watching her with an overly proud smirk through glasses that had de-steamed enough to reveal twinkling green eyes, was the best idea she could act on at that moment.

“I- I- I-...” Kara eloquently stammered, acutely aware that her face was blushing a bright red and it had nothing to do with the heat of the kitchen.

The chef shook her head in obvious amusement, “So… what brought you back to my humble kitchen?”

Kara bit down on her tongue, rationalising that the real reason of ‘I couldn’t stop thinking about you’ might come across as slightly stalker-ish and deciding to fully think through her response. “You mean other than the fear that you had set the whole Palace on fire with your most recent experiment?”

An exaggerated pout appeared on the chef’s face and Kara had to drag her eyes away from the jutting out lips especially when she saw the fiery passion building in the woman’s eyes. “I’ll have you know I am an incredible cook.” The chef lifted her chin defiantly and stared down imperiously at the blonde, “I once made a tortellini so good it made a grown man cry. I had mastered the art of sushi by the age of ten, and am able to produce an entire five course dinner on short notice.”

Kara tilted her head to the side scrutinising the the dark haired woman who was taking a deep breath after finishing her rant, “Yeah… but what is it that you can’t cook?” Kara bluntly inquired, looking back over her shoulder to nod at the grim looking sludge in the sink.

The chef deflated notably, murmuring irritably, “Souffle.”

“That’s meant to be a souffle?” Kara exclaimed her jaw dropping as she squinted at the mess in front of her. The chef groaned in dismay, throwing her head back in frustration. “Hey…”, Kara said softly, trying to (as always) put a positive perspective on everything, “this was only your first try, you can’t expect to-”

An embarrassed cough and a shuffle from the chef was enough for Kara to stop talking and stare in confusion at the woman who was trying to subtly use her body to block the counter behind her from view.

“What- what are you doing?” Kara asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Me? What? Nothing?” The chef awkwardly spluttered, her face turning a light pink as she shook her head a bit too much to seem natural.

“How many souffles have you tried to make already?”

“Just that one.” The chef’s expression became stony, giving away nothing but it was too late.

Kara shook her head before taking a deliberate step forward.

“I’m really fond of my personal space… so if you could stay on the other side of the kitchen that would be… umm… great.” The chef’s already weak excuse was undercut by how she shifted this way and that way to keep her body blocking Kara’s line of sight.

“Oh really.” Kara replied with a teasing smile, purposefully taking another step forward.

“Yes, really.” The chef shot back with a harsh over the top frown.

“Uh huh.” Kara hummed in agreement, moving the final step forward that brought her almost nose to nose with the chef. Kara focused on keeping her breathing even and her body from trembling due to the sudden closeness, practically feeling the heat radiating from the other woman. She was so occupied with her own reaction to this abrupt proximity that she was convinced she had imagined the way the other woman’s breath caught for a moment, her gaze dropping to the blonde’s lips.

Without pre-warning, Kara reached out and placed her hands on the chef’s waist causing her to go extremely still before Kara unceremoniously lifted her up resulting in an indignant squeal being released, “Woah!”. Kara lightly deposited the now flushed woman to the side, revealing her poorly hidden secret.

“EIGHT TIMES!” Kara blurted out in shock upon seeing the blackened ceramic pots laid out in front of her.

“Okay! I admit it! I can’t cook souffles!” The chef yelled back, holding her hand up as if valiantly proclaiming herself Spartacus. “What does it matter? It doesn’t make me any less of a good cook, or a person. Souffles are extremely complex.”

Kara tried to hold back the laughter bubbling to the surface, completely endeared by the overly dramatic defensive words and gestures of the girl in front of her. “Aren’t souffles like two ingredients?”

The chef’s mouth snapped shut, her arms crossing aggressively over her chest as she let out an harrumph sound that had Kara breaking down into helpless giggles.

“Oh, come on.” Kara pleadingly asked once she realised the chef was sticking quite firmly to her self-imposed sullen silence. “Hey, look this one isn’t so bad.” Kara picked out one of the less blackened dishes, grabbing a discarded fork nearby and taking a bite. “Hmm, that’s actually quite nice.” She revealed, mildly surprised that she hadn’t had to fake enjoyment.

“It is?” The chef asked nervously upon seeing the blonde willingly go in for second bite.

“Yeah, try some.” Kara suggested, moving over to the island in the middle of the kitchen where they had ate dinner together last night, slipping on to a seat and nodding her head at the neighbouring stool indicating for the other woman to join her.

The chef hesitated for only a moment, the indecision clouding her eyes disappearing when Kara gave her a beaming smile. She quickly moved to open a drawer to retrieve her own utensil and slipped onto the stool, immediately digging into the non-crispy parts of her cooking.

“Not bad.” Lena commented after eating a cautious forkful, Kara hummed her agreement, both of them falling into a minor fight to get the good bits of the dessert. “Can I check by the way that you managed to have dinner tonight?” Kara looked up sharply from the nearly scraped clean dish, to find that genuine concern and care from last night glinting and glowing in green eyes.

“Yeah, how about you?” Kara inquired in response, unsure how to react when she saw the flicker of surprise at the returned question on the other woman’s face.

“My best friend more or less force fed me.” The chef admitted with a roll of her eyes in minor annoyance.

“Sounds like a really good best friend to me.” Kara replied honestly, pleased that someone was looking out for the woman who had begun to dominate her every thought.

“She has her moments, but don’t tell her that as it would go straight to her head.”

“Sounds like my sister.” Kara muttered with a dramatic exhale.

The chef smiled granting another viewing of the dimple Kara was slowly becoming fixated on. “Can you tell me about her?”

The question was tentative, uncertain and filled with an earnest desire to know more about Kara and her life; Kara’s heart instantly leapt into her throat upon hearing the sweet request. Kara took a deep breath, settling fully into her seat, absolutely okay with never leaving this tucked away room in the catacombs of the Palace for the rest of the trip, “Well, her name is Alex and she’s probably the best person I know.” The chef rested her chin on the palm of her hand that was being leant on the countertop, allowing her to stare unabashedly at the blonde as she began happily talking about one of her favourite topics.

Kara was unsure how much time passed as they chatted, but she was aware that it had shifted to the early hours of the morning and she was yet again struggling to keep her eyes open. The chef’s head was drooping and she had taken to yawning every other minute. Eventually, Kara had to call it a night, not because she wanted to (she would have happily fallen asleep with her head resting on the hard marble surface if it meant more time with the other woman) but because she didn’t want to put her new friend through that as well.

The chef begrudgingly agreed to Kara’s suggestion, dropping out of her seat heavy limbed and slightly unsteady with exhaustion. “Will you… umm…”, The dark haired woman began trailing off nervously, unable to meet Kara’s eye as she unnecessarily walked Kara to the door.

“Will I?” Kara prompted equally anxious as she twisted her fingers together.

The chef took a deep breath as if to pull in some courage, “Will you come back again tomorrow night?”

“Do you want me to?” Kara couldn’t help but ask, an inexplicable fear seizing hold of her that the woman was merely humouring her and inviting her back to be kind rather than actually enjoying her company.

“Would you judge me if I said I want nothing else?”

Kara’s gaze snapped up at the whispered request, her heart beating faster than the time Alex had taken her to that haunted house last halloween. The chef wasn’t looking at Kara instead she was focusing on the door handle which her fingers were tapping against erratically.

“I can’t really judge you when I feel the same way.” Kara murmured softly, reaching out to place her hand delicately over the chef’s, stilling the twitching movements of her fingers and releasing another lightning shock to Kara’s system which spread through the rest of her body like wildfire.

Kara pushed down, lowering the handle and pulling the door open before retracting her hand back to her side and stepping into the doorway giving the chef a shy, vulnerable smile that was instantly mirrored on the other woman’s face. “I guess then… I’ll see you tomorrow.” The chef bashfully said with a duck of her head.

“Definitely.” Kara promised taking a step back into the darkened corridor. The last thing she saw before the door swung closed was hopeful, radiant green eyes. “Goodnight…” Kara’s jaw dropped and she slapped her forehead with the palm of her hand as she realised, “I still don’t know her name.”


	4. The Super Sister Support Service

_Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt!_

“Ugh…”, Kara groaned, her hand shooting out from under the duvet to scramble blindly in search of her phone on the side. Kara’s fingers curled around the vibrating phone and pulled it back into her warm cocoon, swiping to accept the skype call without opening her eyes. “‘ello?” Kara sleepily mumbled her indistinct greeting.

“Good morning, dear sister of mine.” The teasing voice of her sister drifted over the line far more cheery than Kara could handle after being rudely awoken. “How are you feeling this fine day?”

“Ugh…”, Kara grumbled suffering profusely from not getting her normal eight hours of sleep last night.

“That good, huh?”

“Need. More. Sleep.” Kara replied, emphasising each word in a way reminiscent of a zombie calling out for brains.

“Did the Palace have an all night rager or something?” Alex inquired, as Kara began to stir more fully, gradually becoming aware of the sounds of cars and other people in the background of the call indicating that Alex was probably walking home after a late shift at work.

“Nothing like that.” Kara tittered, finally feeling brave enough to her poke head out of the quilt and squint around the slowly brightening up room.

“What is it like?” Alex pushed forward with her questioning, her innate sister skills picking up on Kara’s failure to deny the ‘or something'.

“Well… err…”, Kara cringed internally and externally at Alex’s interrogation voice that she employed on Kara and criminals alike to incredible effect.

“Oh my god! Did you sleep with someone?” Alex demanded her refined questioning technique going right out the window in shock upon using her magic ability to detect Kara’s cringe without seeing it. A cringe was only ever associated with Kara’s natural shy modesty when it came to romance.

“Al-” Kara attempted to cut in, to no avail.

“Are they there with you right now?”

“No, don-”

“Just please tell me it wasn’t Mike!”

“NO!” Kara yelled out, completely insulted that her sister would even suggest Mike as a viable option.

“Oh, thank god.” Alex let out such an incredibly large sigh of relief Kara half expected to feel a puff of air through the phone itself. Once Alex had suitably recovered from her self-induced heart attack, she continued with her questioning but at a far tamer pace and intensity, “So, who is it?”

Kara rolled her eyes, trying to ignore the flash of green that kept appearing in her mind. “I didn’t sleep with anyone…”, the honest denial came out at a slightly higher pitch than her normal voice accompanied by a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach at the words that Kara didn't really know what to make of.

Alex, knowing her sister better than anyone, heard the barely audible despondent sign and asked with a much softer tone, “But you want to…?”

“Wh- No- Maybe-,” Kara stammered, her heart beginning to beat erratically at the thoughts and images filling her head that sent a red hot flush throughout her body.

She barely knew the chef, she didn't even know her name (and Kara _definitely_ had a rule about that when it came to sleeping with someone). Kara had never been interested in one night stands and had only been in two relationships in her lifetime. Her first relationship was in high school with pretty much the dream guy from every teen romcom film ever made. Star of the football team, sweet, courteous with boyish good looks. It was the idyllic first relationship. However, as happens to so many other couples, it didn't survive the long distance that came with going to college and growing as individuals. They met up during the first winter break and already found themselves struggling to connect after only a couple of months apart. Kara had made another rule following that: no long distance relationships.

Her next relationship (Kara would argue that you couldn’t really call it that) was with Adam Grant, who she met the first week of working at CatCo. Alex referred to him as the embodiment of Kara’s rebellious phase. Adam was all chemistry, no commitment. He would take her on wild and unforgettable dates whenever he could fit her in, but he was never there for the everyday moments. He would never stay over and couldn’t handle simply _being_ in each other’s company. Any lull or moment of softness was unbearable. Life always had to be an event and Kara liked (and honestly preferred) the quiet moments to the constant ‘show’ Adam adored.

Ever since Adam, Kara had happily put her time towards work, spending time with Alex and her friends. She hadn’t had much interest in seeing anyone… until now it would appear if the buzzing, exhilarating electric shocks coursing through her whenever she thought of the chef were anything to go by.  

“I mean… I wouldn’t say no.” Kara admitted with a scared whisper.

“Really?!” Alex said enthusiastically trying to encourage Kara to be excited rather than scared. “Tell me everything.”

“There’s nothing really to tell.” Kara lied, the memories of the last two nights replaying defiantly in her mind as if personally offended by the insinuation.

“The blush says different.” Alex commented drily.

Kara blinked rapidly at the remark, sitting up straight in bed and peering around her dimly lit room fearfully. “How do you know I’m blushing? You can’t see me. Can you? Oh my god, you didn’t follow me here, did you? Because if you did… we are going to need to have a serious discussion about boundaries.” Kara’s panicked words came out at such an impressive velocity that only Alex, who was more than acclimated to Kara’s high speed, would have been able to keep up.

“Firstly, take a breath.” Alex ordered, and Kara willingly sucked in air to alleviate the lightheadedness she was currently experiencing. “Secondly, I didn’t know for definite you were blushing until you just confirmed it.” Kara let out an aggrieved groan and slumped back down in her bed. ”Thirdly, holy shit!” Alex exclaimed causing Kara to wince at the sudden volume, a sound of a door slamming in the background indicating that Alex had arrived home. “This guy must be special if just the idea of talking about him got you to go to level three rambling.”

Kara rolled her eyes in frustration. “I still can’t believe you’ve ranked my rambling.”

“It needed to be done and don’t think you can throw me off topic. Tell me about him.”

Kara bit her lip and hesitated, anxiety knotting up her stomach.

Kara was an out and proud bisexual, having realised her attraction to both sexes in college prompted by Alex’s own, far more troubled, realisation about her own sexuality. Subsequently, Alex had been a key supporting pillar in the early days, desperate to protect her little sister from struggling the same way she had done. Kara, though, had never actually acted on this attraction, mostly due to not dating very often. This was an entirely new experience and she didn’t really know how to approach it. Kara hated feeling out of her depth hence why she researched all her articles to the nth level of detail, planned out her journeys well in advance and laid out her clothes for the next day without fail.

Kara took a deep breath in, gathering her courage and strength enabling her to confidently stammer out, “Err… her…”

Silence followed her words.

Kara found herself gripping the phone tighter to her ear fearing a rejection even though she had no logical reason to expect one. There was shuffling and the sounds of cupboards opening and closing. Finally, Alex said, her tone filled with affection and delight, “Okay… I got the good whiskey out for this. I’m settled on the couch and don’t need to move anytime soon. Let rip the level five ramble I know you’re desperate to unleash.”

Kara laughed with a shake of her head, snuggling back down into the duvet. “Well, it all started because you made me miss dinner…”

Kara experienced an almost relentless amount of teasing during her story, made infinitely worse by the fact that she knew her sister was filing away her embarrassing moments for future blackmail. Alex had begun cackling from the moment Kara admitted to falling backwards through the kitchen door and mistaking the green eyed woman for an angel followed by a howl of laughter when she realised Kara didn’t know the woman’s name because she was always so mesmerised by the chef. Once Kara had finished her tale and Alex had gotten control of her laughter, she focused on bolstering up her sister’s confidence and courage to ‘firstly, find out this amazing girl’s name and then go for it’.

“Go for it?” Kara repeated believing she had just been given the most ridiculous piece of advice on the planet and that's including the time Alex had told her that she should go out the night before her big exam to let loose and burn off her built up stress. Kara had ended up taking her final still drunk wearing a bin bag that Alex had to fashion for her when Kara in her infinite drunk wisdom felt clothes were a restriction on her freedom and were merely a way to enforce societal gender norms (safe to say drunk Kara managed to ace her gender and women’s studies final).

“Yeah, go for it.” Alex repeated as if it was the easiest thing in the world to do which Kara couldn’t help but think was rich coming from the girl who turned into a ridiculous stammering mess when a pretty girl so much as looked her way. Kara is relatively sure, even if her sister will neither confirm nor deny it, that Alex only became capable of full sentences in front of her ex-girlfriend by the fifth date.

A thousand reasons flitted into Kara’s mind about why she shouldn’t just ‘go for it’.

She has a rule about long distance.

She still wasn’t sure if she was even allowed to be talking to a random member of the Palace staff or allowed to be in that particular area of the Palace in the first place.

She was supposed to be putting her job first, this was a major career stepping stone and she couldn’t really afford to be distracted or exhausted from sneaking away every night.

She didn’t even know the chef’s name.

But despite all that, and the countless other reasons whispering softly to her, the loudest one of them all, the only one that really mattered to Kara (and that should have been the biggest warning sign to her) was, “What if she doesn’t feel the same way?”

“Kara, listen to me very carefully.” Alex replied, her voice firm and direct. “She would be a fool not to.” Kara made a sound of disbelief but quickly fell silent at the ‘tsk’ her sister made that she knew would have been accompanied by her sister’s harsh frown and glare. “She said she wanted nothing else but to see you again, and then the night before that she literally said she found you cute. I don’t think you’re going to be taking a great risk by putting yourself out there. And if she can’t see how amazing you are, then she wasn’t worthy of you in the first place.”

“I love you, Alex.” Kara murmured into the phone, the anxiety that had been lacing through her quieting down for the most part and the fear of rejection lessening when reminded that, no matter what happened, her sister would always be there to catch her.

“I know. I am pretty incredible.”

Following their heart to heart, Kara brought her sister up to speed on her work, Alex quickly and genuinely congratulating her for CatCo’s win yesterday before Kara insisted on listening to how Alex’s current investigations were going. The sisters talked until Kara had to get ready for breakfast and Alex had begun to snore on the other end of the line. They said their goodbyes with Alex insisting Kara call her to let her know how it goes with the chef later.

Kara rushed to get ready and join her friends who were waiting for her in their shared living and work space. The three CatCo representatives wandered down to the dining hall for breakfast, discussing and prepping for the interview with Theonia’s UN ambassador.

The plan for the day was less physically intensive than the walking tour yesterday which Winn was overly thankful for as he had been complaining about sore muscles almost non-stop since the August Gardens. The morning was to consist of a full tour of the Palace, the main highlights being: the throne room, the library and the hallway of remembrance which contained historical paintings depicting past rulers and significant moments in Theonia’s past. The afternoon was to be dedicated to the first set of scheduled interviews that would be held in various allocated rooms throughout the Palace.

After today, though, it would appear the training wheels were going to come off and the reporters were going to be granted greater freedom to explore and make their own plans for viewing the country with intermittent interviews already planned for them. They were to be assigned a security force officer that would accompany them during their travels but other than that they were going to be given a lot more freedom.

James rationalised whilst buttering up a croissant, “Yesterday’s tour and the security force were never about making a statement to us, but sending a signal to the citizens.”

“What signal?” Winn asked with a confused frown whilst he purposely tried to ignore the enormous amount of food Kara was consuming without breaking a sweat.

“That we are under the Queen’s protection.” James replied with a light shrug.

“And the security force does that?” Winn glanced over at a pair of uniformed and armed guards that were leaning against the wall next to the dining room entrance, completely unreactive to the buzz of activity surrounding them.

“They’re royal guards, Winn.” Kara chimed in, tilting her head to peer at Winn thoughtfully through her thick glasses, “Did you not read the information packet I sent you?”

Winn groaned and rolled his eyes at the reminder, “Kara that thing was nearly twice the length of the entire ‘Lord of the Rings’ trilogy.” Kara let out an insulted sound, crossing her arms over her chest and muttering about how she was simply being ‘thorough’. Winn batted away her comments before returning to the original subject, “I figured they were just Theonian military.”

“They are Theonian military,” Kara answered, unable to resist the lure of sharing her enthusiasm about everything she had learnt, “but they are specialised branch dedicated to protecting the royal family. Being given a position in the royal guard is one of the greatest honours a soldier can receive.”

“Yeah but how do you _know_ that?” Winn pressed, tilting his head as he continued to look skeptically between Kara and the guards at the door.

“Look at them.” Kara directed, turning in her own seat to look at the guards herself. The two guards, a man and a woman, were dressed in black uniforms with purple and white accents, black combat boots and purple berets.  The soldiers during their time in Theonia had been stoic and standoffish, always leaving a respectful amount of distance around the newsgroups so they wouldn’t feel under scrutiny. Kara had tried to talk to a few of them on a few separate occasions but had always been dismissed or blanked to the fullest degree. “You can tell by the purple insignia with the three vertical white lines on their arms. It’s the symbol of the royal family.”

“Ahh…” Winn murmured in understanding before pouting disappointedly, “It seems a bit plain for the royal symbol.”

Kara’s eyes lit up at the opening, an explanation tumbling out excitedly, “Actually, there are numerous theories about what the lines represent. My favourite theory so far-”

“Kara.” Winn whined shaking his head, “Just because I didn’t read your textbook on Theonia doesn’t mean I was waiting for the audiobook version to come out.”

Kara picked up her cutlery and began aggressively cutting into her pancakes, muttering under her breath, “Uncultured swine.”

Winn heard the insult and gave Kara a proud grin, “Yep.” Winn then returned to James who had been watching the entire interaction with amusement, “Why are we under the Queen’s protection and not the government’s? I thought the whole point of the election was for the Queen to have no power anymore.”

“Theonia is still a constitutional monarchy, and her majesty is written in to be the Head of State.” James glanced at Kara, showing off that he had read her notes, and to check that what he was saying was correct. Kara nodded along encouraging James to continue. “Admittedly, the Head of State is more of a symbolic position than anything else, but that’s beside the point. The main reason the Queen has so much power is simply because... the people adore her. The prime minister is respected and liked but nothing close to the level of the Queen.”

“Huh.” Winn took a few seconds to absorb the information, using it to put everything they had seen yesterday through a different lens. “And showing us off with the royal guards yesterday, was to warn off the citizens?”

“I don’t think the tour was to warn off people but more to show we could be trusted.” James answered after a moment’s consideration. “That the Queen values us. Theonian’s have developed, over the past couple of centuries, a strong dislike and suspicion of foreigners.”

“Which is kind of understandable, all things considered.” Winn cut in with an understanding nod of his head. Kara and James both shot Winn raised eyebrows causing the IT expert to shrug and admit with a slight smile directed at the blonde, “I did read some of your textbook.”

James chuckled before biting his lip and glancing between his two friends, “Have you guys thought about what Theonia gets out of inviting a plane load of journalists into their country?”

“Publicity… ?” Winn suggested weakly, “Setting the foundations for starting up the tourism business?”

“Revealing their international agenda?” Kara hazarded a guess after some reflection.

“Possibly.” James agreed.

“What’s your theory?” Winn prompted lightly.

“That we are here to convince the citizens that Theonia opening its borders to the rest of the world isn’t a bad thing. We are the attempt to justify a very unpopular decision.” James revealed quietly so as not to be overheard forcing Kara and Winn to lean forward making a small huddle of heads over the table.

“Think about it,” James directed gently upon seeing that his colleagues weren’t fully convinced, “journalists are a rare breed in that they want to know everything about the place they’re visiting. Kara epitomises it.” James gestured to Kara who blushed with pride at the compliment. “You want to learn as much as you possibly can about Theonia and you want to have genuine conversations with people that live here.” James summed up, “Look around at the journalists invited on this trip.”

James lifted his head, and pointed with his chin at a small, mousy woman a couple of tables over. “Grace Mayweather from ‘The Post’ won an award for her documentation of homelessness in Washington. She got some of the most closed off people to open up and talk to her.” James then jerked his head slightly over his shoulder highlighting a lanky man with a predisposition for checkered shirts at all times, “Then you have Ray Larkin from ‘The Times’. He’s probably one of the most renowned international correspondents in the business.” James returned to meet the curious gazes of his two friends with open brown eyes, “Can’t you see how selective they were with which journalists were allowed to come. They picked people who are good _ambassadors_ for the rest of the world.”

“Doesn’t explain Mike…” Winn tutted, all three of the CatCo representatives glancing over at the LYNX table where they were making lewd gestures and loud, obnoxious comments to one another without a thought for those forced to sit nearby.

Kara sighed, a sour taste already appearing in her mouth in anticipation of what she was about to say, “Actually... it kind of does.”

“Kara?” Winn’s face contorted with surprise and bewilderment.

“Even you have to admit Mike is fantastic at social media.” Kara hated the truth of what she had said.

Mike had a gift when it came to being liked by the masses, whether it was on youtube, facebook or twitter, he knew how to grab people’s attention and keep it. Kara hated to admit it but she was uncomfortably envious of his ability; she struggled bitterly with being in the public eye especially on camera, hence why she stuck to the written word so resolutely. She loved interviewing people, getting to know someone on a one on one level but she found it harder to connect with a large group, to be on _trend_ and _popular_.

“He can put a positive spin on just about everything and I _hate_ to admit it, believe me,” Kara emphasised by raising her hand as if to physically ward off the discomfort she was experiencing, “but he comes across as sincerely charming in interviews. He’s kind of an anomaly at LYNX because he’s not constant doom and gloom.”

“But he’s such an _ass_ off camera.” Winn complained indignantly.

“Agreed.” Kara and James affirmed.

“I can’t believe he gets the money shot.” Winn reminded them, shrinking down in his seat in disappointment.  

“Ugh… don’t remind me.” James grunted, poking at his leftovers that Kara had begun eyeing longingly.

“Just ignore them.” Kara requested, perking up when James offered his plate to her, “Let’s focus on our own interview.”

After breakfast, Sam appeared in the dining hall with her signature, welcoming smile and easily rounded up the reporters, herding them to the atrium where they had all first entered the Palace. Sam began her tour there, explaining the importance Theonians place on the stars and the night sky. Theonia had their own names for the constellations, and stories of guidance and wisdom related to the astrological arrangements which they would regularly tell their children before bed. The atrium’s incredible ceiling had been painted over a century ago by a famous physicist with incredible artistic ability, who had perfectly plotted out the stars visible from the Palace.

Kara bounced gleefully as she listened, loving all the information and history being shared with her. Sam stood on the steps, so that the reporters below could all see and hear her, which Kara was thankful for as she had been jostled to be near the rear of the crowd causing her to nearly, at one point, collide with one of the statues guarding the entranceway.

Kara glanced up at the marble figure, unable to resist muttering an apology to the inanimate object. The statue was a figure in full armour. It had a chest plate marked with three broad lines, a helm shielding it’s face, one hand (the one closest to the doorway) held a spear bedecked with a meticulously chiseled stone ribbon. The other hand, though, was what caught Kara’s attention. The hand was ungloved and without a gauntlet, and it was gripping tightly a magnificent quill, one finger running along to the nib as if ready to start writing at a moment’s notice.

“Any questions?” Sam called out to the crowd clearly ready to move onto the next area. The reporters remained silent, less interested in the older history and far more intrigued to see if they would be shown any reminders or mementos from Lex’s reign or glimpses of the current monarch’s residency. The group of people shuffled their feet impatiently indicating that they were ready to move on.

Kara, however, had been unable to pull her eyes away from the oxymoronic statues that guarded the entrance to the Palace. Sam had explained the architecture, design, ceiling skyscape and the handful of paintings in the atrium but she hadn’t explained the stone sentinels.

“Um… Hi,” Kara nervously raised a hand grabbing Sam’s attention who gestured for her to speak with a fond smile and nod of her head, “Would you- um… I mean can you tell us about these statues?” Kara asked timidly, trying to ignore the glares from the LYNX crew that disliked the delay by purposefully returning her gaze back to the statue behind her.

Kara glanced back to Sam to find out she had positively lit up at the question, “Those are in fact-”

“New additions.” A clipped, imperial voice interrupted.

It took Kara, a couple of seconds to become acutely aware of the now complete and total silence that pervaded the room. Timidly, Kara’s gaze moved away from the statue and back to the giant staircase.

Sam had turned away from the crowd to face the stairway that led to the East Wing of the palace, her head bowed and her legs bent and slightly crossed in an impeccable curtsy revealing just who had arrived.

The Queen.

The stillness that had settled over the reporters immediately shattered once the immediate shock and realisation had been absorbed, suddenly numerous cameras were snapping away at an incredible ferocity.

Kara’s gaze slowly moved away from Sam to track the royal figure descending the stairs, her heels click-clacking ominously on the steps.

Everything went numb.

It was as if the next few seconds were an out of body experience, her mind unable to comprehend what she was seeing.

It was the chef.

But not how Kara had ever seen her before.

Gone were the sweatpants, fuzzy socks and baggy university sweatshirt to be replaced with a well-fitted black dress with red patterning across the chest, square neckline revealing sharp collar bones and an elegant neck. The dress reached to just above the knee, easily running the line between conservative and fashionable. The whole look was completed with black, patent, killer heels that Kara was acutely aware she, personally, would have fallen over in if forced to wear.

The chef’s hair that had always been in a messy thrown up ponytail or bun was now perfectly styled into an immaculate updo held by a black clip at the back of her head, allowing an unobstructed view of her pale, sharp features.

The biggest change from the chef of last night wasn’t her clothes though or the lack of large, rounded spectacles. It was her demeanour and how she held herself.

The playful expression that had been a mix of shy sincere affection and coy confidence, that Kara solely associated with her dinner companion was absent. In its place was cool disinterest and polite acknowledgement made apparent by the restrained smile, tight jaw and most importantly the closed off green eyes. Green eyes that Kara knew to hold a wealth of emotion and empathy. Now they were dull instead of vibrant, cold instead of warm and distant instead of vulnerable.

Kara’s breathing became quick and panicky as her mind raced and began to reevaluate the last two nights.

_Could the winding path I took that first night have brought me into the East Wing? To the Queen’s kitchen?_

_Oh no… I fell backwards in front of the Queen._

_Oh my god! I made fun of the Queen’s book._

_Then I mocked her cooking._

_WAIT... I MANHANDLED THE QUEEN!_

_Can I get hanged for that?_

_And of course, I flirted with the Queen._

_GOD DAMN IT, KARA!!_

_Alex is never going to let me live this down… bring on the hanging..._

Sam slowly raised herself back up and out of her curtsey once the dark haired woman had approached and waved her hand in a gentle upwards motion towards her. Sam slowly turned back round to face the crowd that were whispering excitedly to one another and taking as many photos as rapidly as they could. “Please allow me to introduce Her Majesty, Queen Lena of Theonia, first of her name and the royal protector of the realm.” Sam announced confidently and reverently, indicating that she had probably introduced the Queen before but still viewed it as a great honour.

“Thank you, Ms. Arias. I hope you don’t mind my intruding on your tour with our dignified guests.” Queen Lena apologised graciously with a slight dip of her head as she looked out at the people gathered in front of her. “I could never resist sharing the Palace’s secrets or our country’s history with eager listeners.” The reporters that had only moments ago been stamping their feet and muttering about wanting to move on, suddenly looked as if their genuine childhood dream of being granted a history lecture was about to be fulfilled.

Kara forced herself to breath out slowly and regain control of her tensed limbs, deciding to face her problems head on... by subtly shuffling forward until she was obscured from the Queen’s line of sight behind a particularly tall reporter.

“Your majesty, it would be a great honour... if you have the time to spare, that is... to hear from you on either of those subjects.” Sam requested with a deferential bow. The journalists all began to nod their heads keenly at the opportunity, the only people not pleased with this turn of events were the LYNX correspondents who looked positively furious and despondent that their golden chance at the money shot had been granted to everyone equally.

“I have time and would be delighted to show our guests around.” The Queen agreed, her hands clasping elegantly in front of her body as Sam slowly stepped back giving the photographers an even better photo opportunity. “Before we move on, I believe there was a question regarding the statues by the doorway…”

Kara shrank even further down at the same time as she began to step stealthily backwards with the intent to stay hidden and keep as much distance between herself and the Queen as possible, not knowing what else to do that would make this whole situation any less awkward.

“The statues were newly commissioned after my coronation.” The Queen explained in a voice that mesmerised and held the various journalists’ attentions. Kara, though was only half listening, trying desperately to quietly withdraw and make herself invisible.

Kara took a careful step back.

“I wanted to send out a signal to my people and any who visited the Palace-”

Another step backwards.

“-that my reign would be different to my brother’s.”

Kara’s back collided heavily with something solid that subsequently rocked backwards.

“That there is always another option, another way… a better way.”

Kara spun around, an abject horror filling her upon seeing the statue she had been admiring swaying dramatically, the head of the armoured figure banged against the wall resulting in it starting to tumble forward.

“I wanted a physical symbol that Theonia should embrace peace and leave behind violence.”

Kara dodged out of the way and yelled, “MOVE!” to the nearby reporters whose backs were turned to the incoming danger. The reporters reacted quickly stepping out of the way as the symbol of peace smashed into the floor and shattered into stony chunks and pieces.

Kara stared down at the completely decimated, almost unrecognisable statue, fully aware that every single pair of eyes were on her. Painfully slowly Kara lifted her gaze away from the rubble and up to the stairs, making direct eye contact for the first time that day with familiar green eyes.

Lena’s face went through an array of emotions in the space of half a second. Shock, confusion and then _hurt_.

Kara’s heart sunk sickeningly in her chest at that final one.

Those emotions were hidden away almost immediately, only to be replaced by a cold, hard mask consisting of a harsh frown and burning green eyes that scared and depressed Kara far worse than that momentary flash of pain she had seen.

“Sorry.” Kara winced out, cringing as she did so.  


	5. The Dichotomy of Monarchs and Chefs

“Theonia was discovered and claimed by Britain in the early 1500s, the colonists that established the early settlement - which would become National City - seceded from the British Empire around the same time as Jamestown was built in 1607. The reason for this is that Theonia’s natural resources hadn't been discovered below the surface of the earth and when America was founded, becoming a focal point of European colonisation, less and less resources were sent over to this island due to our lacklustre returns. The rebellion and war that followed was led by Theodore Luthor, my ancestor and, the first king of this country that was soon named after him once they succeeded in repelling the British forces.”

Kara listened attentively from the back of the group of reporters as the Queen led them all down a corridor in the East Wing. Following what could only be described as Kara’s worst nightmare brought to life, the Queen had gracefully moved into action, requesting that they all clear the area to prevent injury and then asking a couple of guards to stay behind to organise the clean up.

Kara was desperate to apologise and explain but when she hurried forwards to catch the Queen’s attention, the raven haired woman had flashed her a cool gaze which had Kara’s jaw snapping shut and her feet feeling like cinder blocks, allowing the reporters to push past her causing her to fall to the back of the crowd once again. The Queen addressed the entire group once they had left the atrium, making it clear that she was simply thankful no one had been hurt and then she continued the tour as if nothing had happened.

Sam sought out Kara, giving her a reassuring smile and murmuring for her not to worry about it, that accidents happen and the Queen won’t hold it against her even slightly. Kara couldn’t quite bring herself to believe that, especially considering how the Queen treated her from then on.

That’s not to say the Queen was rude or anything of the like.

In fact she was absolutely polite, professional, well mannered and positively charming to the wider crowd.

The issue was that the Queen was nothing like the chef.

The chef had looked at Kara with bright, open, almost vulnerable eyes, whilst the Queen had a guarded, cold gaze.

The chef had smiled widely and crookedly, flashing a rare one-sided dimple, whilst the Queen’s smile was restrained, welcoming but not soft and warm.

The chef had lounged, slouched, flirted coyly and joked whilst the Queen spoke precisely, with clipped, carefully selected words and stood up straight, holding her head high.

It was a duality Kara didn’t know what to make of.

There was the chef and the Queen, but which one was Lena?

“Most people believe that the national language of Theonia is English due to it being the most common  _ spoken  _ language in the country.” Kara let out a wistful sigh, pushing down her disquieting thoughts and striving to listen to everything the Queen was sharing with them, something she had been looking forward to since seeing the Palace tour on the itinerary.

After the atrium the reporters were led into the East Wing, which housed the royal apartments and offices. The walls in the east wing were purple or white, matching the royal colours and there were portraits on every surface of severe looking men and women bedecked in jewels and ruffles. The Queen had brought them into a long corridor at the back of the Palace, one wall was made up of windows looking out onto the Palace gardens whilst the other wall was crammed full of pictures, paintings and photos. The Queen came to a stop in front of the wall of images, Kara had to balance perilously on tiptoe to get a good view, and directed the attention of the crowd to various pictures.

The first painting, the Queen highlighted, was of early Theonians constructing timber buildings and preparing to go out hunting. The impeccably drawn out people seemed hard at work and all appeared halfway through gesturing although none looked like they were speaking or on the verge of speaking. Kara really hoped that James, who had managed to nab a spot at the front of the group, was taking as many pictures as possible so she could inspect the images that she was missing out on later.

“In fact, our national language is a form of sign language referred to as TSL.” The Queen explained with a proud smile, pointing out the gesturing figures in the various portraits.

Kara’s eyebrows raised in surprise at that revelation, prompting her to continue with her copious note taking as her mind rethought the tour of the university yesterday and how in the lesson she had sat in on there had been an interpreter present translating the professor's teaching into a sign language that Kara hadn't been even slightly able to comprehend. Kara had assumed that there had been a deaf student in the class but she was now re-thinking that assessment and wondering if this was actually standard for all educational institutions. Kara quickly noted down an array of questions related to this concept that she intended to ask the education secretary when CatCo interviewed them.

“In the early days of Theonia’s establishment as an independent nation, we were forced to become more self sufficient having lost support and trade from Britain. Whilst setting up agricultural space to farm, hunting was a necessary skill everyone had to learn if they wanted to survive. Sign language became the main form of communication between hunting parties to prevent frightening away prey. TSL became widespread and gave us crucial advantages when fending off the numerous invasion attempts over the centuries.”

Kara adored how passionately the Queen spoke about her country, how she seemed to revel in the details of her nation’s history. It was a reassuring and wondrous sight to behold; it was the closest the Queen had resembled the chef so far and it caused the band around Kara’s heart that had been uncomfortably tight to loosen ever so slightly, making it easier to breathe.

Kara, however, was acutely aware that the Queen had not looked her way for the entire tour even though she regularly swept her gaze over the crowd, pausing to make eye contact with everyone so they all felt included and valued.

Except Kara.  

Not once did those green eyes seek out her own.

It was making Kara twitchy.

“If you keep jerking around like that and nearly falling over on tiptoes, I’m pretty sure the guards will wrestle you to the ground.” Kara jumped to the side at the sudden voice in her ear and Winn had to grab her arm to help her regain her balance, preventing her from falling into a stone vase and causing yet another mess.

“How many times have I told you not to sneak up on me?” Kara whispered harshly to the tech expert, smiling apologetically at the reporters who had seemed almost ready to run clear of the disaster area when they saw her jolt unexpectedly. “You can’t have forgotten your trip to the ER already.”

Winn blanched and took a nervous step away from her, muttering an awkward, “Whoops.”

Kara sighed nudging Winn with her elbow affectionately, “Shush, I want to learn.”

“Nerd.” Winn smirked at her, dragging the insult out with a fond twinkle in his eyes. Kara couldn’t help the smile that consumed her features, knowing that Winn had sought her out to distract her from the embarrassment of earlier in whatever way he could.

“And proud.” Kara bit back, winking at Winn before returning to watch the Queen only to find those cold green eyes darting away from her, preventing eye contact at the last second. Kara pouted dejectedly at missing out on the Queen’s attention, confusion wrinkling her brow when it seemed like the Queen’s polite expression became just that little bit more forced after that.

The rest of the tour was pretty straightforward and seemed almost rushed from that moment onward.

The Queen continued her detailed history of the country but there wasn’t that spark Kara had caught a glimpse of earlier. The passion and eagerness to share her nation’s secrets had extinguished itself in the space of a few seconds. The tour for the most part kept to ‘old’ history, everyone noting how the Queen stopped her teachings of the past at her grandfather’s reign, not going into her father’s or brother’s time as rulers.

The Queen finished the tour with the royal offices that were a constant bustle of activity, the people working there only pausing in their running about and conversations when the Queen entered. They all stopped what they were doing to bow their heads, falling silent and waiting for the Queen’s permission to continue which she gave without hesitation, a proud smile momentarily illuminating her face at the sight of their hard work and respect.

Many of the news outlets were disappointed that they weren’t shown the royal apartments but Kara wasn’t overly surprised considering how the Queen had diplomatically avoided personal questions, consistently twisting the question round to put focus on her country and its inhabitants over herself. The Queen took her leave with a respectful nod of her head and the promise that she was looking forward to getting to know the reporters better over the course of their stay and during their various interviews.

As soon as the tour was finished, Sam led them all back to the atrium where Kara stared shamefacedly at the now empty spot which had once housed a beautifully carved statue. Everyone in the crowd was buzzing and desperate to be set free so they could upload the money shot to their respective websites.

Sam dismissed them all with a rueful grin and a roll of her eyes, “Go on, hurry back to your computers. Lunch is in half-an-hour, so please... find time to eat.” The tour guide ordered with a tone of motherly exasperation. “And don’t forget the first round of interviews are this afternoon, rooms have been set up for you to use and any of the guards can take you to where you need to go if you are unsure. Tardiness will be noted and I can guarantee you that I  _ will  _ name and shame without hesitation.” With that final threat, Sam waved her hand dismissing the group and granting them their freedom.

The CatCo crew raced back to their rooms where James and Winn selected the best pictures and rushed to upload them, Kara giving her opinion where she could even though it drastically differed from her work colleagues.

The boys preferred the photo of the Queen on the stairs in the atrium when she had first introduced herself. She was stood tall and poised, her head held high and posture impeccable, every muscle precisely controlled and her expression sharper making her appear older and more world weary. Kara understood why they thought this image was the best option, it epitomised what the wider world would expect regal to look like.

Kara, however, found the more candid shot James had taken during the early parts of the tour when the Queen had been at her most alive and excited far more captivating, which her colleagues found odd to say the least. They didn’t overly see the appeal, especially when James pointed out the poor lighting and how he had caught the Queen mid word, giving her a strange facial movement. Kara quickly rushed to make an excuse that explained her strange fascination, going the route of ‘well, everyone will be uploading the staircase photo’. Winn and James exchanged a look before returning to the computer and ignoring Kara’s disgruntled murmurings as she decided to go over interview prep.

When James offered Kara the photos from today for her perusal, knowing she would appreciate the shots of the artwork and historical pieces, Kara didn’t even hesitate to copy over that one particular photo she had found so entrancing of the Queen onto her hard drive. She hid the photo in an album, burying it alongside the pictures of the more mundane artifacts that would never interest James and Winn enough to scour through.

Kara had to force herself not to linger too long on the photo or the warm, fluffy feelings that came with it.

Lunch was a rushed affair, the various journalists scoffing the prepared food quickly, trying to maximise their time to juggle writing up the tour they received from the Queen alongside interview preparation. The CatCo team struggled at this stage, with only the one dedicated writer having to take the lionshare of the workload. Set job titles and descriptions, however, didn’t prevent James or Winn from leaping forward to provide support in whatever capacity they could.

James would openly admit to not being an accomplished writer, lacking the ability, as he would often say, to ‘eloquently narrate the heart of the matter’. He was, though, an extraordinarily good editor, knowing how to improve and enhance an article whether by changing the sentence structure or requesting greater focus on a certain idea or facet of the story, he also had great intuition about what recommendations Snapper would make.

For the big stories that they would produce (interactions with the Queen and interviews with various members of the government) during their trip to Theonia, it was required for them to send the story over to Snapper for editing before uploading to ensure everything was factually accurate and written to the best quality possible. James, therefore, stepped up to read and edit everything Kara had generated so far, reducing the delay that Snapper’s review would have on publishing.

Winn, in turn, tackled interview prep, reading through Kara’s meticulous notes and even going so far as to use, what he lovingly referred to as, Kara’s Theonia Thesis to start work on fact checking the information and refining the questions. Kara’s love for her friends and team increased beyond measure as they all dug in, without even a whisper of complaint, to support her. She couldn’t help noticing that the overly large LYNX crew that was sat across from them in the dining hall also seemed stressed and struggling but they were all working very independently.

M’gann M’orzz, Theonia’s selected ambassador to the UN, was probably the most unflappable person Kara had ever met.

The ambassador was smart as a whip with a well-reasoned answer to every question and an aura of tranquility that could easily calm even the most heated of debates. It was easy to see why she had been chosen to be Theonia’s most prominent diplomat to the rest of the world in a matter of minutes

Kara loved interviewing people and the entire process that surrounded it. She loved the research beforehand, crafting the topics and the main fixture questions that would act as a starting point. She loved getting to know the interviewee, picking up on their idiosyncrasies, working out what they were excited to talk about, what disinterested them and what they tried to avoid talking about. She loved digging into their answers, fine tuning her prompting questions to get that little bit of added detail or tucked away secret that would reveal a whole other dimension to the person or issue.

M’gann was incredible due to the sheer challenge she presented to Kara.

The ambassador had an impeccable answer for every question Kara threw at her and the journalist found herself pushing and digging that little bit more than intended. M’gann seemed to enjoy the interview, her amusement making an appearance though a slight quirk to her eyebrow and by the more obvious statement of allowing their interview to run half-an-hour longer than intended, to the great frustration of the ambassador’s secretary who grew increasingly fidgety with each minute over the schedule.  

“That went well, I think…”, Kara murmured to Winn once M’gann had said farewell and headed off, leaving them to tidy up the room and organise the notes and recordings they had taken.

James had been there at the beginning to snap a few photos of M’gann but took his leave before the interview started in earnest, knowing Kara liked interviews to feel more like a conversation than an interrogation with an audience. Winn stayed, tucked away in the back of the room, next to the ambassador’s secretary, monitoring the recording equipment that Kara would use to write up the interview and working on some coding that he had been developing for the CatCo website.

“Well?” Winn repeated, shaking his head in disbelief before grabbing Kara’s shoulders to shake them, “That was incredible!” He practically yelled, causing Kara to grin broadly and blush with pride. “We got  _ so  _ much good information! Yeah, people might go to LYNX first to skim read the Queen’s interview but we…”

Kara cocked her head to the side as Winn squeezed her shoulders before letting her go. “We got the stuff that  _ matters _ .” Kara succinctly summed up, absolutely buzzing from the high the interview had generated.  

Winn nodded in agreement, his eyes shining in wonderment, his general joy for the work that had faltered upon hearing the interview schedule having finally returned at full strength.

Kara shared his enthusiasm and joy, the interview having restored her faith in the work she was doing. She had hated the superficiality of the money shot and everything that it had represented, by removing it from the equation before the interviews, the journalists would be forced to bring attention to other varied topics from one another. Learning Theonia’s plan to develop in the international community was a golden opportunity and Kara hoped she had made the most of it.

The interview had also helped with regards to more…  _ personal  _ matters.

It had provided an incredible distraction (for the most part) from the Queen, who was now permanently invading Kara’s thoughts.

There had been more than one occasion where Kara, probably unnoticeably, faltered when M’gann would reference Queen Lena’s input and support on numerous matters. Any references to the Queen had Kara’s stomach fluttering and her mind unnecessarily reminding her that this incredibly intelligent woman had spent all of last night listening to Kara ramble away, letting her mock her relentlessly about her failure to master the art of the souffle. Once that mental reminder kicked Kara, she was then forced to try (and fail) to hide the swoon that followed whatever incredible thing M’gann revealed the Queen had done. Kara is convinced the ambassador picked up on her light blush when M’gann mentioned the Queen’s desire to encourage Theonian schools in the future to get involved in international competitions and take students abroad, wanting young people to see as much of the world as possible.  

“I think even Snapper might be impressed.” Winn commented thoughtfully.

“Yeah, he might only rip into about eighty percent of it, which is a vast improvement over the ninety percent he usually thinks is rubbish.” Kara said, tapping her chin to appear in great deliberation.

“Woah, Kara, come on be realistic…” Winn stated, totally serious as he stared her down causing Kara to blink in surprise, unused to that particular tone from her friend, “Snapper will find eighty seven percent shit and will then send you a stern reminder to not let it go to your head.”

Kara snorted inelegantly, opened her mouth to snark back when-

“Excuse me, Miss Danvers?”

Kara and Winn both jolted at the sudden appearance of a third voice. Winn flinched backwards, nearly stumbling into the now empty chair the ambassador had occupied, whilst Kara spun round raising her fists and barely resisting the urge to punch forward like her sister had taught her.

A small woman with black hair and brown eyes was stood in the doorway dressed in a purple mottled skirt, cream shirt and purple cardigan, her ensemble was accentuated by chunky costume jewellery. Her hair was tied back in a tight ponytail, and in her hands was a sleek tablet. The woman’s face was blank, not reacting even remotely to Kara’s attack posture, instead she merely pursed her lips into a tight frown of irritation at the reporters’ lack of a verbal response.

“Miss Danvers?” The woman repeated a little bit more forcefully.

“Errr… yes…”, Kara stuttered out, lowering her raised arms with an apologetic smile whilst Winn righted himself, eyeing the newcomer and Kara, struggling to decide whether to stick by his friend’s side or retreat back to the corner of the room and not attract the ire of this already terrifying woman anymore than necessary.

“Please, come with me.” The woman ordered, stepping to the side and gesturing with a robotic movement to the doorway.

Kara glanced over to the tech expert that had been unsubtly tiptoeing backwards to abandon her at the first chance and whispered, “Coward”, accompanied by a scornful roll of her eyes. She then gulped and cautiously stepped forwards, “Sure… umm… any chance you can tell me where we’re going?” Kara asked with trepidation.

The woman, with a demeanour far more terrifying than the entire heavily armed royal guard division put together, merely frowned harder and strode out of the room with the expectation that Kara would follow quietly behind her.

“Here’s hoping the dungeons are nice this time of year…”, Kara mumbled under her breath, her smile faltering and sliding off her face as she hurried after the flash of purple.

The woman didn’t once glance back to check that Kara was keeping up with her unbelievably fast pace considering her short-legged stature; the blonde was forced to more or less keep up an undignified jog to ensure she wasn’t left behind or got lost due to the number of turns the woman took without hesitation. Anxiety began to dig its claws in and settle ominously over Kara, her mind whirring through potential horrific scenarios presenting itself like trailers for crappy B horror movies.

Had she overstepped in the interview?

Was she going to be punished for breaking the statue?

Flown home early, flanked by royal guards, and disallowed from ever returning?

Just as Kara was imagining a particularly dark version of her future that involved her spending twenty years in the dungeon, the tunnel for freedom she had been digging for that entire time having been discovered causing her to be dragged to face the executioner, who-

The woman came to an abrupt stop resulting in Kara coming to even more abrupt stop when she walked straight into her chaperone’s back.

“I am so sor-”, Kara began to ramble out, her hands waving around erratically and her eyes spinning in her sockets to try and see the executioner she was now convinced was going to step out of the shadows and apprehend her.

Kara’s escort let out a deep sigh of such despondency, Kara was tempted to call a depression hotline on her behalf, then opened the door they had come to a standstill in front of, finally making Kara aware of her surroundings for the first time during their twisty journey. Kara was momentarily pleased to recognise her location as being outside the Royal offices, that joy was quickly replaced with a sudden panic upon realising just  _ who  _ she was probably about to see.

She would take the executioner’s axe over those no longer caring green eyes any day of the week.

Kara swallowed thickly before following the Palace worker into the extremely busy office, relieved to find no one looked up at her (appreciating the lack of scrutiny from such a large crowd), and to a heavy wooden door emblazoned with the three white lines of the Royal family. The attendant knocked three times without hesitation and a familiar voice (even if it was lacking the warmth Kara had come to associate with it) called out, “Enter.”

The Palace worker, stepped to the side, her hand wrapping around the door handle ready to pull it open whilst her eyes swept over Kara’s person clearly sizing her up in an attempt to figure out what it was about her that warranted Kara being granted an audience she hadn’t even actively sought.

Kara tried to force even breaths, out to and into her lungs, to calm the strange mix of butterflies and warm, fluffy feelings that came with the chef alongside the dread and deep-seated anxiety that she was starting to associate with the Queen. Before her heart had the chance to return to a more reasonable rhythm, the door was swung open and the Palace worker was jerking her head for Kara to step inside, her feet instinctively complying whilst the rest of her body screamed at her to run in the opposite direction.

Once inside, the escort announced, “Kara Danvers for you, your majesty.” Kara glanced over her shoulder only to see the door swinging shut and clicking sinisterly into place.

Kara’s hands flexed fearfully at her sides, and she had to fight desperately against the urge to adjust the glasses on her face. She looked around quickly taking in her surroundings.

The office wasn’t what Kara had been expecting in the slightest, especially after seeing the Royal offices that consisted of dark wooden desks, deep purple walls and furniture that you would expect in a stately home that didn’t understand the benefits of modernisation.

The Queen’s office, however, was a marvellous swirl of old and new.

The walls were a lighter purple, closer to lilac, and most were lined with bookshelves filled with heavy texts on subjects Kara couldn’t even begin to understand. Most of the room was taken up by a long, oval-shaped conference table which had high-back chairs with the royal sigil carved into the design. The back of the room had long, expansive windows which looked out on the landscaped garden, unfortunately the occupant of the room would be unable to see this amazing view without turning around from the large desk positioned in front of the glass.

The desk, like the conference table, was made of Birch in opposition to the darker shades of wood used throughout the offices, and was clutter free for the most part, a single piece of paper to one side with a fine blue fountain pen laying on top, a tablet like the one the escort had was in the centre, the screen dim and locked, whilst an impressive computer screen took up the final third of the space available. Not a single thing was out of place.  

Kara took in every little detail, trying to reconcile the design with the two halves of the green-eyed woman and slowly something less terrifying settled in her stomach upon realising the room was almost a perfect reflection of both the professional Queen and the youth of the chef.

“Kara Danvers, reporter for CatCo media.”

Kara’s gaze shifted and settled on the raven haired woman sat in the brown leather chair behind the desk, leaning back with her hands clasped over her stomach, her elbows resting on either arm of her seat. The Queen’s eyes were dark and empty, her face perfectly blank but Kara knew she was being studied, being examined intently behind the mask and she couldn’t stop herself from squirming uncomfortably.

“And you- you’re-... the err… umm… well… the Qu-”, Kara nervously stuttered unsure what to do with hands and how she should stand. Her knees bent and unbent strangely trying to do a curtsey whilst her hands flapped without purpose by her side.

The Queen’s mask vanished to be replaced with a furrowed brow, confused eyes, and pursed lips, “What are you doing?”

Kara froze in a completely unbalanced position, her muscles tensing pathetically to try and stop herself from falling over, “Ummm… curtseying? Or should I be bowing? I don’t really know the protocol here.”

Kara knew she was in a level five ramble, knew that her words were coming out at such an incoherent pace, even Alex would struggle to understand her but Kara could do absolutely nothing to stop the flood. It was as if, since shattering the statue earlier that day, Kara had taken a vow of silence that she was finally being granted the freedom to break.

“I know Sam - our tour guide - curtsied but I didn’t know if that was because of her position in the royal staff. Do men bow and women curtsey? Is that a thing? I always thought that was a bit unfair as curtseying is far harder than bowing. I mean bowing is just leaning forward.” Kara without even thinking about it bowed the top half of her body forward in demonstration, forgetting during her speech her already precarious position that was further unbalanced when she attempted her display.

Kara let out a light yelp, her arms pinwheeling futilely, before she collapsed into a heap on the floor.

“It would appear ‘just leaning forward’ is a skill not everyone possesses.” The Queen commented drily, standing up from her desk to peer over it and see the crumpled figure on the floor that was currently CatCo’s finest. Kara sprung back up to her feet with the speed of a child that had tripped over their own shoelaces and wanted to get right back to playing with their friends.

Kara forced a smile as the Queen raised an unimpressed eyebrow, and the blonde tried to ignore the sad kick to the stomach that came with not seeing that flicker of concern the chef had when Kara had fallen the first time. “Sorry about that… err… your majesty?” Kara apologised.

The Queen’s hands that had been resting on the desk lightly, moved to curl and grip the edge as if looking for support, “Sorry, for what?” The Queen asked coolly.

“Err… for… uhh… falling over… for not greeting you the right way…?” Kara guessed, her voice going up several octaves as the Queen remained completely stoic. “Oh, oh,” Kara gasped out, her mind kicking into gear, “The statue! I’m sorry I broke your peace… statue… thing.”

The Queen shook her head dismissively and Kara couldn’t stop herself from deflating, feeling as if she had a failed some sort of crucial test at that moment. “The statue clearly wasn’t suitably tied down, the fault lies with me.”

Kara tilted her head to the side and shot the Queen, a small, shy smile, “Good manners prevents me from letting you take all of the blame.” She hoped the gentle callback to their first interaction would cause the Queen’s features to soften and for her eyes to change from guarded back to that bright, vulnerable green.

Those gentle words instead had the opposite effect.

The Queen’s frown grew even harsher and her knuckles turned white as they gripped the edge of her desk. “It seems you have been taking careful note of our conversations from the outset.” The Queen commented, and Kara flinched at the accusation hidden below the surface.

“Wait, I thi-”, Kara began to interrupt, her heart sinking pre-emptively.

“With that in mind, I have already crafted a response for the inevitable articles you will have written.” The Queen’s right hand snatched up the piece of paper on her desk as she leaned over to, more or less, shove it into Kara’s hands.

“Hold on a sec-”, Kara begged her gaze flicking rapidly between the carefully typed up statement to the Queen who was speaking with that same distant clipped tone from earlier.

“No further comment will be provided by me or this office. Now, I believe you have everything you wanted,” The Queen continued, blatantly ignoring Kara’s attempts to speak and the increasingly distraught expression on her face, “please, be so kind as to show yourself out.” With that final command, the Queen pointed imperiously to the door.

Kara simply stared at the Queen, her heart hollowed out by the dismissal that was such a stark contrast to how, literally less than twenty-four hours ago, the raven haired woman had admitted to wanting nothing more than to see her again. “I had no idea you were the Queen!” Kara exclaimed honestly resulting in a poorly concealed scoff from the monarch. “I swear!”

“Really?” The Queen muttered in disbelief accompanied by the roll of her eyes.

“Yes, really!” Kara defended, her eyes wide and pleading. “You must have realised by now that I didn’t know who you were! I asked you your  _ name,  _ for goodness sake!” Kara cried out with a wave of her arm as if hoping the action would prompt the Queen to cast her mind back. “I wasn’t taking notes of our conversations and I have no intention of writing about any of it.” Kara said softly, beseeching the Queen to have a little more faith in her.

The Queen’s lip twitched and Kara was convinced she had gotten through to the dark haired woman when, “If that’s true, why would you duck down and hide in the crowd this morning?”

Kara flinched at the question, confusion clouding her thoughts, “What?”

The Queen relinquished her grip on the desk and crossed her arms over her chest, raising her head adding to the effect already created by her killer heels that she was towering over Kara, “You think I didn’t notice that you were trying to hide at the back? That your attempts to go unseen was what resulted in you knocking the statue over.”

“I-... I-” Kara stuttered, remembering that flash of hurt that crossed the Queen’s face upon seeing her, adding painful clarity to the past.

“I am willing to accept that you may not have realised who I was when we first met, and I will take more than the fair share of blame in not figuring out you were a journalist instead of Palace staff, but you  _ hid _ .” The Queen practically spat out the last word with disgust and disappointment. It was then that the cold facade the Queen had been wearing vanished to be replaced with fiery eyes and a venomous tone, “You saw an opportunity when I came into sight and you took it. You are a vulture like all the others, masquerading as a bumbling, doting innocent.”

Kara’s heart cracked and went numb at the insults and accusations being thrown at her without even being given a chance to simply explain. “How dare you?!” Kara yelled back, her voice raising to drown out the hurt thrumming through her, “I hid because I  _ panicked _ . If you haven’t noticed I don’t handle awkward social situations very well!”

“You seem to handling this one rather well.” The Queen snapped back dismissively.

Kara bit down on her tongue, refusing to stoop to callous put-downs, she took a deep breath, her eyes dropping away from dark green to take in the floor as she whispered, “I was scared.”

Kara shrugged helplessly, lifting her gaze back to the statuesque Queen. The Queen’s fingers, that were wrapped around her bicep twitched involuntarily at Kara’s honesty but other than that minor movement, her expression and body remained unmoved.

“The woman I had met these past two nights was kind, attentive,” Kara continued sadly, “and I have no doubt that  _ she  _ would have seen how afraid I was but… I guess I was wrong.”

Kara paused to examine the piece of paper in her hand that the Queen had thrown at her. It was crumpled and creased following Kara’s exuberant gesturing when she had been simply trying to get the Queen to listen to her. The journalist lifted the sheet, not bothering to glance at the words typed out and held it between her hands, pausing for a moment before tearing it into halves and then quarters as she carried on speaking just as gently as before.

“I’m not cruel enough to write about our meetings and I’m insulted that you think I would be.” Kara glanced up to see the Queen’s harsh frown had lessened, her shoulders slumping ever so slightly out of her rigid posture as her green eyes fixedly watched Kara rip the paper to shreds. “And anyway, even if I was that cruel I wouldn’t have.” Kara confessed, “Those meetings with you… were important to me and… I was looking forward to our next one. I would never have done anything to jeopardise that.”

Kara’s hands were filled with tiny fragments of white and with a deep sigh, she let them go allowing them to flutter to the ground.

“Did you know that for all of today, I’ve been devastated thinking that you might not want to see me tonight?” Kara asked, flashing the Queen, who was no longer standing tall and unable to meet Kara’s gaze, a watery smile, “Now though? I’m glad I’ve found out what you’re really like because I no longer feel like I’ve lost something.”

With that final revelation, Kara turned on the spot and strode to the door, promising herself in that moment she would ignore any remaining desire to go to the kitchen that night in the vague hope of finding the chef there waiting for her with that one-dimple smile and whatever recipe she was attempting to master.

“Kara.”

This time when the Queen said her name it was far softer than the first time, the hint of accusation gone to be replaced with that care and concern Kara had memorised over the space of only two interactions. Kara batted down the flutter of her heart that came with hearing her name in the exact tone she had imagined hearing it in since she’d convinced herself she had seen an angel.

The journalist spun back around using every ounce of her willpower to keep her expression void of emotion especially when she saw the Queen had stepped out from behind her desk as if to chase after her. It was the chef standing in front of Kara at that moment, but she refused to be blinded by this personality shift.

She now knew which one was the real one.

Knew which one  _ Lena  _ really was.

“Goodbye, your majesty.” Kara curtly replied, bowing her upper body forward precisely before twisting back around, yanking the door open and leaving.


	6. The Wisdom of Thirteen Year Olds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say thank you to all those who commented on the last chapter, it means a lot to me that you enjoyed it and all of your kind words put a huge smile on my face for days. :) xx

“So… are we going to talk about it?”

“Talk about what?” Lena prompted, refusing to look directly at her best friend who she knew was leaning against the doorway with her signature unimpressed expression which made lesser beings physically curl up and shrink in disappoint with themselves. Lena bit her bottom lip, pretending to stare intently at the computer screen which displayed the plan for the day that Jess had already gone through with her earlier that morning.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Lena, it simply won’t work because I know exactly how intelligent you really are.” Sam called out, pushing off the door and strolling into the office, coming to stand directly opposite Lena who still refused to meet her eye. “I also know when you’re lying and no matter how big your crown is I will always call you out on your bullshit.” Lena grumbled at that but didn’t deny it. “And if you need further incentive… you should know, I will not hesitate to sic Ruby on you and believe me, you would rather face my disapproval than hers.”

“Using Ruby isn’t fair!” Lena’s eyes finally snapped away from the screen to stare with alarm at her best friend.

Sam shrugged nonchalantly and fell into one of the two fabric seats on the other side of Lena’s desk. “Hey, you can’t honestly tell me that after growing a small human being for nine months and raising her for thirteen years, you wouldn’t take advantage of her innate ability to emotionally manipulate your best friend.”

Lena rolled her eyes and huffed, “My position is far too political to admit that…”

“Uh huh… that’s what I thought.” Sam said with a victorious smirk which quickly shifted into an intimidating frown and a dark glare, “Now, you better tell me why on earth I had to hear through the grapevine - aka gossiping Pam - that you called in the only journalist that I actually like and were a complete and total  _ meanie-face  _ to her.”

“Meanie-face?” Lena repeated dumbly, her brain experiencing a glitch at the turn of phrase she had never once heard from the brunette.

Sam pursed her lips in obvious irritation, “I’m trying to cut down on my swearing, okay?” She revealed with a heavy sigh. “A potty mouthed three year old is adorable but a cussing thirteen year old much less so…” Sam waved a hand to dismiss the matter and return to the original subject, “Don’t think you can distract me! Why were you a bitch to Kara?”

“Why do people think I was a bitch to her in the first place?” Lena slumped back in her chair, her eyes downcast and her tone guilty.

Sam sighed, scrutinising her friend’s disconsolate demeanour closely as she answered, “She looked near tears when she left your office and the guards noted that she skipped dinner which, trust me, is a big deal considering how much she eats.”

“Shit…” Lena murmured, her heart sinking low, past the floor and continuing on to the basement, whilst air escaped from her lungs in one great rush of pain. 

She didn’t need to trust Sam, she knew how much Kara could eat, how much she looked forward to dinner and even burnt, barely edible souffle. 

The revelation that Kara had purposely skipped out on food was like a kick to the stomach, but the tears…

When they had first met, Kara had fallen backwards, probably concussed herself, and she was still smiling. Kara’s smile was breathtaking and Lena’s entire being had soared every time it had been flashed in her direction when they spoke. She adored that big, cheesy, uninhibited grin. It was a smile that belonged to someone who truly believed that there was more good in the world than bad. 

Now, not only had Lena removed that beautiful smile but she had replaced it with tears.

Lena’s throat felt tight and a stinging sensation appeared at the back of her eyes.

“I also heard you weren’t doing so well either…” Sam said softly, acknowledging Lena’s reaction without focusing on it too greatly and trying to add some light-heartedness, “My incredible observation skills have noted that there are currently an excessive amount of cupcakes in your kitchen and around the office. You only make cupcakes when you’re feeling guilty…”

Lena choked back the large weight clogging up her throat and forced a stern glare to dismiss Sam’s absurd rationalisation, “That’s so not true.”

“Lena, I can tell your exact mood by whatever it is you’re baking or cooking.” Sam confessed, raising her eyebrows to emphasise her statement, “You make simple pasta dishes when you feel like you haven’t accomplished much by the end of the day. Cupcakes indicate guilt. Theonian staples when you’re proud of your country. And souffles when-”

“Okay, I get your point.” Lena cut in, crossing her arms over her chest protectively.

“What’s going on, Lena?” Sam asked kindly, her gaze open and full of concern.

Lena swallowed thickly, her whispered reply like ash on her tongue, “I screwed up. Big time.” Lena admitted, “I hurt her.” 

“Oh my god.” Sam murmured out in awe, Lena looked up to see an expression of shock on her best friend’s face that preceded her exclaiming, “You  _ like  _ her.”

“What are you twelve?” Lena scoffed, quickly rubbing at her eyes to remove the excess moisture that had built up.

“You  _ really _ like her.” Sam said, now positively gleeful especially when Lena made a big show of snapping her mouth shut to imply she wouldn’t be responding from that moment onwards. “But how? When?” Sam shot the questions out at rapid speed, trying to figure out where this had all come from before shaking her head and trying a different tact to draw answers out of the now tight-lipped woman across from her. “I mean, I can see  _ why  _ you like her. She’s cute, bright, sweet, funny-”

Lena’s skin tingled and a heat swept from the centre of her chest to her extremities. An immediate, snapped interruption came without prior thought, “Are you sure it’s not  _ you  _ that likes her?”

Sam’s jaw dropped and her eyes twinkled like christmas had come early, “Wow, jealous as well.” 

Lena huffed out a breath, frustrated with how quickly Sam saw through her.

Lena was not a jealous person by nature. 

She had lost too much too young; there was a time not too long ago when she had absolutely nothing, if envy was going to becoming a defining feature of her character it would have been then. Admittedly, Lena had never felt this way about  _ anyone _ before, this was uncharted territory and a whole host of unknown emotions came with that. 

Despite lack of experience with jealousy, Lena had quickly become intimately familiar with it yesterday when she had seen Kara and her colleague laughing and smiling at each other at the back of the tour. The sight of the young man holding Kara to keep her steady, when Lena had been on the edge of sprinting forward as she saw Kara wobble, killed her mood and enthusiasm faster than anything she had ever experienced. The desire to get as far away from those baby blue eyes that kept trying to grab her attention, was immense and it was all Lena could do not to sprint away from the group at full speed.

“Before you worry,” Sam continued, pulling Lena away from her valiant fight with her own envy, “she’s most definitely not my type. You know I’ve always had a preference for dark and brooding.” Lena couldn’t help rolling her eyes again, she had more than enough evidence to prove Sam mostly definitely had a type but had forgotten all of that in her jealous swirl of emotion.

“I’m dark and brooding…” Lena childishly commented, putting on a harsh frown and drawing her eyebrows together in her best attempt at the caricature personality.

“Oh, sweetie… no.” Sam snorted unable to hold in her amusement at Lena’s poor portrayal of the tormented hero. “You have the dark, tortured past, I’ll give you that… but you’re never going to be the brooding type.” Lena opened her mouth to argue, ready to refute this with numerous examples but Sam continued, not giving her a chance to make her case, “You can try to hide it as much as you like, but you are secretly the most hopeful person I have ever met…” Sam paused then, tilting her head in reflection, “that is until I met Kara.” 

Lena’s breath caught for a moment at that, remembering how Kara had still found something salvageable in her failed souffles. There was no doubt, in Lena’s opinion, that Sam’s assessment of Kara was accurate and she was desperate to ask about Sam’s interactions with Kara to learn what had brought her to this point of view.

Actually, that’s an understatement, Lena was, in fact, desperate to know absolutely anything and everything about the reporter.

_ Did she like Theonia? _

_ Was she having a pleasant stay? _

_ Was her room comfortable? _

_ What made her want to be a journalist? _

Every spare minute and second since meeting Kara in her kitchen that first night, her mind had thought of little to nothing else beside golden hair, baby blue eyes and the biggest, cheesiest grin that was merely the dressing to the sweetest, most sincere human being Lena had ever met.

And she had been a  _ meanie-face  _ to her.

Self-loathing and guilt had followed her like a cloud of misery above her head since she realised her mistake.

Her mistake being that she had made the assumption Kara would treat her the exact same way so many others had in the past. Only one person had ever seen Lena vulnerable, defenseless, truly open… and not tried to capitalise on it. Everyone else that had gotten past Lena’s walls had inflicted massive amounts of damage or at least tried to. 

Lena had been  _ herself  _ with Kara, had shown her the person underneath the crown and the title, revealed the real Lena she had been required to keep buried except in the presence of a select few. 

Being open like that… something she hadn’t felt  _ safe  _ to do for years… was truly magical, especially in the presence of a complete stranger, who she thought had simply recognised her desire to be seen past her crown instead of having no idea who she really was. 

Whereas most people had to slowly break down Lena’s walls by chipping away brick by brick, Kara, on the other hand, had knocked down the almost impenetrable barricades with a simple ‘Holy moly’ followed by a fluttering, shy smile. 

_ How can two words and a warm smile be equal to a freaking wrecking ball? _

“I don’t know how you came into contact with each other or what happened between the two of you but…” Sam said slowly, pulling Lena out of her reverie with a gente tug causing her to look up at her friend expectantly, “yesterday morning before the tour was the happiest I have ever seen you in a long time.” Sam’s expression turned melancholy as she uttered her observation and Lena instantly recognised the look on her face from the numerous arguments and conversations the two of them had had regarding Lena’s work-life balance. 

Lena’s entire life, from the moment she accepted the crown following her brother’s death, was dedicated to Theonia and it’s citizens, leaving little time or space for herself. Sam had tried on multiple occasions to convince Lena to take a couple of steps back from her duty, usually when it was clearly having an impact on her health and mental state. Lena, however, was unwilling to turn her back on her responsibilities and would push back against Sam’s concern, their disagreements becoming heated rapidly. 

Lena had pulled ‘The Queen’ card on Sam only twice in all the time they had been best friends. 

Giving her best friend a direct order that she was legally required to follow and therefore unable to refuse was a black stain on Lena’s past that she would always shrink away from even though she knew that she would make the exact same decision both time. One of those occasions was when Sam had been on the verge of making their argument, regarding the impact her duty was having on her health, public by getting Jess to cancel a crucial appointment before the upcoming elections. 

Sam didn’t speak to her for a week after that. 

It was one of the worst weeks of Lena’s and Sam’s lives. Since then Sam was extremely careful with bringing attention to how Lena’s work was impacting her, her happiness being an extraordinarily large aspect of that.

Sam cleared her throat to alleviate the mild awkwardness, “Clearly the fallout of whatever happened between you and Kara is eating you up.” Sam leant forward in her seat and Lena knew she could see the dark bags under her eyes despite the heavy layer of makeup she had caked on earlier. “Did you even sleep last night?”

“Sleep is for the weak.” Lena replied, not quite willing to admit that she had stayed up all night, sitting in her kitchen, hoping, praying and wishing that Kara would stop by so she could apologise. (She didn’t).

“I swear I am this close to sending in Ruby.” Sam threatened with a sad shake of her head whilst lifting her left hand up to show only a thin slither of space between her thumb and index finger.

“Sam, I-”, Lena began, fatigue lacing her words, as she tried to figure out how best to tell Sam the whole story so far. 

Three familiar knocks on the door, however, caused the explanation to recede and die on her tongue. 

Lena shot Sam an apologetic smile, who merely nodded and smiled in understanding, and Lena straightened up in her chair, putting on the airs and graces that came with her role and called out, “Yes, Jess?”

The door opened, revealing Lena’s secretary dressed in her usual shades of white and purple, her clothing and presentation immaculate. “Your majesty, the prime minister has arrived.” Jess announced with her customary tone of deference that Lena had given up trying to convince her wasn’t necessary.

“Thank you, Jess. Please apologise and tell him I’ll be with him in a moment.” Lena replied, her hands flying into action to check she had everything she needed for the meeting.

“Of course, your majesty.” Jess said, giving a slight bow before retreating and shutting the door gently behind her.

“We’ll talk later?” Lena checked, glancing back at her friend who was already in the process of standing up, ready to take her leave. “I’ll… uh... tell you everything.”

Sam nodded in answer to the question but pursed her lips at Lena’s declaration, “In all seriousness, you don’t have to, I just don’t like seeing you-”

“Sam. I want to tell you.” Lena interrupted, moving round the desk to place her hands on Sam’s shoulders and stare directly into her eyes so her friend could see the sincerity of her next words, “It’s important and you’re important. Okay?”

Sam smiled, wrapping her arms around Lena’s waist to pull her into a tight, farewell hug, “Okay.” Sam muttered into Lena’s ear before pulling back and letting her go. “Anything else before I unleash the pack?”

Lena chuckled at the term of endearment Sam used when referring to the reporters, “No, hopefully we’ve done enough.”

“Alright, I’ll see you-” Sam responded, heading towards the door.

“Actually…” 

“Hmm?” Sam said, turning back around to face her best friend only to see her looking uncharacteristically nervous, her hands wringing together and her mouth set into an uncertain frown. 

Sam tilted her head to the side watching Lena hesitate for a long moment before asking in one great rush, “Can you put Captain Dunn in as CatCo’s security representative?” 

Sam’s jaw went slack, and her hands, that had been lightly resting on her hips, fell like ragdolls to her sides as Lena saw the exact moment realisation struck her. “You don’t just  _ like _ her… you’re  _ falling _ for her.” 

Lena’s green eyes dropped to the floor immediately and she shifted from foot to foot but no denial or sign of refute appeared. Sam shook her head in an obvious attempt to gather her thoughts and resist the overwhelming temptation to get Lena to spill everything now and make the prime minister wait for however long it took. 

“Are you sure about this?” Sam prompted, needing the confirmation before acting on it.

“I’m sure.” Lena whispered, lifting her head back up to reveal determined, hard-set green eyes. “Do it, please.” 

“Alright.” Sam shrugged helplessly, forcing a teasing smile, “But if Lucy asks why, I won’t hesitate to throw you under the bus.” Lena laughed lightly at the comment and Sam was pleased to see the slight tension leave her body. “See you later.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less. See you later.” Lena replied, waving her hand in farewell as the brunette strode out of her office to go round up the pack.

Lena took a moment to compose herself before picking up her tablet, notebook, pen and setting them on the conference table, so her and the prime minister could have their meeting without her desk being a barrier. She then smoothed down her dress, pushed thoughts of blue eyes, tears and heartache out of her mind as much as possible and waited for J’onn J’onzz.

Three knocks again, another permission to enter and then Jess was stood in the doorway, bowing her head respectfully, announcing, “Your Majesty, the prime minister for you.” 

Her secretary ducked out of sight to be replaced by a tall man, with a composed, neutral expression, dressed in a black suit, white shirt and purple tie. “Your majesty.” J’onn J’onzz said softly, executing a textbook bow.

The door clicked shut behind him and Lena’s Queenly mask slipped away to be replaced by a fond smile, “Prime minister.”

“It will always be J’onn for you, your majesty.” The prime minister remarked, with a twinkle of affection in his deep brown eyes. 

Lena’s smile twitched with amusement, “And Lena to you, old friend.” 

J’onn was the closest thing to family Lena had. 

She was always tempted to refer to him as her  _ real  _ father, but the potential for her to define their relationship in such a way had been lost the moment she suggested he ran for prime minister.

Lena knew Theonia had gained an incredible leader the day her people decided the former military commander would be their first elected leader, she however had lost something priceless. The political natures of their respective roles required a shift in their interactions, specifically restraint in their obvious affection for one another.

The knowledge that it had been her decision, her choice, her willingly made sacrifice didn’t lessen the pain that came with not being able to hug the stoic man in front of her anymore or hear him refer to her as ‘little one’ like he did when she was younger and unburdened by the weight of a crown. 

J’onn nodded at her statement, though both knew neither would refer to each other by their first names anymore, it was still nice to know that they both wished they could. 

Lena cleared her throat and gestured to the table, “Shall we begin?”

“Of course.” J’onn replied.

The Queen and the prime minister had twice weekly meetings to discuss current affairs, problems, plans and solutions. The meetings alternated between the Palace and the parliament buildings on the opposite side of National City. The main discussion points for their meeting, that particular day, were focused on the journalists currently exploring their country. The Queen’s staff and the government had been closely monitoring all stories written thus far to ensure they were well-informed of the wider world’s view and interest in their country. All the information they gathered was being fed to the foreign affairs department, headed by M’gann and supported by J’onn, to be utilised effectively as they began setting up trade and other interactions with the rest of the world. 

“I take it back, your majesty, it would appear my concerns were unfounded. You made the right call with LYNX.” J’onn acceded as they examined the feedback report regarding Lena’s first interview constructed by intelligence and PR.

“Trust me, I would much rather have gone with Ray Larkin but we needed the laid back approach Mr Matthews is renowned for to put some separation between the monarchy and the violence my brother associated with it. Most importantly, though, it successfully highlighted to everyone that the democratically elected government are the decision-makers not the crown.” Lena remarked with a twisted frown. 

She was still unsure how to feel about the interview with LYNX yesterday. She had known going in that the focus would be on  _ her,  _ or at least the Queen facade she would present, and her superficial interests and tastes. Yet, it was still a rather jarring experience for her not to have to field more politically in-depth questions. 

Since the elections, the Theonian news outlets had steadily begun to ask her more mundane, trivial questions regarding what she was wearing, what social events she would be attending, who she was dating, but that had all been a planned, careful transition on Lena’s part. With the monarchy no longer an absolute power and more of a decorative head of state, Lena had purposefully been diverting questions regarding the actual running of the country over to the relevant minister and appointed official. The shift in public consciousness regarding the monarchy’s role was still underway; her people still expecting her to have a significant hand in the direction the nation would take and, whilst Lena was a high-ranking and regularly called upon advisor, anything she said could be freely ignored without consequence.

Having her first international interview being so insubstantial reinforced the new power dynamic to her people and set the viewing stage for the rest of the world.

This understanding of why didn’t help Lena enjoy the interview anymore. She would never enjoy answering what her favourite colour was or what teams she supported to a room of complete strangers, no matter how good at it she was. She was skilled in front of a crowd there was no doubt about that, and she knew how to handle scrutiny by the public since she was four years old. Her experience with the media, however, did not make completing a ridiculous questionnaire which told her what animal was her spirit animal any less excruciating. 

“I still feel that separation of power has come too soon, Theonia can only benefit from heeding your advice.” J’onn muttered, the way he was shifting in his seat being the only tell that he distinctly disliked having his Queen reduced to a celebrity status rather than the revered sharp mind she really was.

“I, on the other hand, would say it didn’t come soon enough, this should have happened decades ago.” Lena responded sadly, feeling that familiar tug to the past whenever she thought of what ifs and maybes. The lure of memories was extinguished when J’onn compassionately reached out to squeeze her hand placed between them. “Anyway,” Lena continued, brusquely moving past their minor moment, “I would say ensuring the right to vote is more than worth the cost of having to deal with tabloids making jibes at my dress sense, wouldn’t you?”

J’onn sighed, his hand retreating to its previous spot on the table, “Anything is worth that right, I simply wish you weren’t the one who always had to pay the price for it.” 

“It’s not all bad…” Lena said thoughtfully, an image of a certain journalist smiling brightly at her with spaghetti sauce smeared across her cheek causing a smile to rise unbidden.

“And how’s that?” J’onn prompted leaning back to admire the genuine smile, he rarely ever got to see on the young woman’s face.

Lena froze for a second, before shaking her head, her smile twisting back to her normal, less emotive one, “I discovered that my spirit animal is a fox.”

J’onn blinked at her dumbly for a moment, “A fox?”

“Yes.” Lena hummed, enjoying throwing the unflappable man for a loop, “Strange... I always saw myself as a more dignified creature but who am I to question the validity of an all-knowing, meticulously thought out algorithm employed by LYNX’s highly rated website?”

The corner of J’onn’s mouth ticked upwards, the only tell that indicated his desire to laugh.

“Should we return to the matter of the public’s opinion regarding the foreign journalists?” Lena asked once the prime minister’s blank face had reappeared.

“Yes, your majesty.” He curtly agreed, pulling out a new report underneath the one detailing the response to the Queen’s first appearance to the international community. “Surveys and polls indicate the citizens are still strongly against breaking our isolationist policy.” J’onn summed up after glancing down the summary of data.

“Unsurprising.” Lena stated with a wave of her hand, turning public opinion on that matter would not be accomplished over a short span of time by any stretch of the imagination. “What about the journalists specifically?”

“Sending the reporters around National City with Ms Arias, who the majority of people are more than aware is one of your most trusted friends, did result in a notable boost in numbers but… I don’t know if it’s enough to see them opening up.” J’onn answered frankly.

Lena bit her lip in mild frustration at that probably very accurate determination.

Sam wasn’t just Lena’s best friend, she was also her chief of staff and was critical in keeping the royal offices running precisely and without issue. To an outsider, making Sam the point person for the cohort of reporters, reducing her to a tour guide and babysitter would appear like a misstep or a waste. This decision however, would be seen by Theonia as sending a far louder message than the royal guards that had escorted the group everywhere. Not only were the journalists under the Queen’s protection but they were worthy of the best she had to offer. With Sam plainly visible and dedicating her time, Lena had made it clear that she expected no less from her people. Therefore finding out Sam’s presence may not have been enough, especially when Lena had been struggling over the last couple of days to get anything done without her support, was a major disappointment. 

“How far off would you say we were?” Lena questioned, raising an eyebrow. 

“I would say we are on the precipice, hopefully the history you gave the journalists yesterday will give them a common ground with which to approach the people.” 

Lena’s ‘spontaneous’ taking over of the tour yesterday had been agreed since before the reporters had even set foot inside the Palace, the plan had always been to remove the ‘money shot’ (a concept Lena had found truly ridiculous) before the interviews to ensure their desired messages would get out without a photo of Lena obscuring it all. If all the media had a photo, all of them would be forced to find something else to make them stand out. The added benefit of Lena giving the tour is that when the journalists go out to speak to regular citizens today, they would have a conversation starter and knowledge of Theonia to get them started.

“You’re saying we need only a small nudge?” Lena guessed. 

J’onn nodded, “Yes, your majesty. Something to show they should trust these strangers.”

“What would you suggest?” Lena inquired, seeking his advice with ease.

“I can’t give you a definitive solution, your majesty. Neither you, nor I, want to order them to speak as it would go against everything we fought for.” Lena nodded in agreement, surprised when J’onn then shrugged, crossed his arms over his chest and stared directly at her as if to say ‘this is something only you can solve’. “The people listen to your subtle suggestions far more than the government which is still finding its feet.”

“I will reflect on it.” Lena mumbled, rubbing her temple in the vain attempt to physically generate an answer to this problem despite the exhaustion weighing down her thoughts. “If Sam comes back and tells me the people didn’t open up, I will figure something out.” Lena shot J’onn a weary smile and requested, “Please, tell me that there is  _ some  _ good news…”

“Well…” J’onn started ponderously, selecting a document from the pile he had brought with him for the meeting and laying it out in front of Lena, “you might be interested to look at that, your majesty.”

Lena picked it up, her eyes skimming over the page, surprised to find it wasn’t an analysis or intelligence report but an actual article. 

**International Intentions: Interview with the Theonian UN Ambassador**

Lena quickly read through the interview, impressed by the content and how M’gann had been presented. The questions that had been asked were intelligent, thought provoking and challenging in a lot of ways. The article itself laid out Theonia’s international strategy far better than most government reports from the foreign office that Lena had read. 

“Is it just me or does it appear that M’gann is actually enjoying this interview?” Lena asked, recognising the vernacular used by the ambassador as indicative of her amusement. 

“She let the interview run over by half-an-hour.” J’onn stated with something akin to almost a smirk on his face.

“Really?” Lena gasped in shock. M’gann was a stickler for time, she was never late and she never let a meeting overrun. 

“She did well.” J’onn whispered, his tone heavy with fondness. Lena couldn’t stop herself from reaching out and squeezing the man’s hand in support like he had done earlier for her. 

J’onn and M’gann had been a relationship for years now but J’onn, much like with Lena, was forced due to their respective positions to hide how strong his feelings were for his partner to ensure he couldn’t be accused of favouritism.

It made Lena’s heart hurt for her old friend. If she ever loved someone as much as J’onn loved M’gann, she’s pretty certain she would be unable to hide how proud she was of them for their every achievement.

“Yes, she did.” Lena agreed as her eyes swept over the article, reaching the end, only to become locked in position and stare fixedly at the last three typed out words.

“M’gann highly rates the reporter by the way and warned me that I should keep on my toes when it’s my turn with her.” J’onn said completely oblivious to Lena’s racing heart and tense muscles. 

“Uh huh.” Lena forced herself to hum, unable to pull her eyes away from the ‘By Kara Danvers’ printed at the bottom of the page. 

Lena’s stomach rolled with a strange concoction of pride at how incredible the blonde was at her job, sadness that she hadn’t learnt this directly from Kara and a bone-aching level of longing. She took a deep breath and pushed the piece of paper away from her, unable to look at it for a moment longer without either smiling broadly at the blonde’s good work or breaking down with the guilt weighing heavily on her. 

“What’s next?”

The rest of her meeting with the prime minister passed quickly and soon enough he was gathering up his belongings, ready to leave. Before he had the chance to do so, Lena requested to keep the copy of M’gann’s interview for herself claiming she would like to use it as evidence when dealing with the foreign minister to prove that international policy can be written out in a far more accessible manner. J’onn’s mouth had twitched indicating laughter as he handed over the document and made his way out. Lena instantly read through the article twice more before tucking it safely away in her top drawer to peruse again when she had the chance. 

The rest of the day was an assortment of meetings and statement writing. Lena’s next interview, this time with Ray Larkin, was in the early afternoon and, as she had done with the LYNX interview, she vetted the questions and topics beforehand, removing anything that related to her personal relationship with her brother and father. Those topics were a no-go. She would talk about the atrocities her brother had committed but only in general, relating to Theonia, not her personally. 

The afternoon saw her having the exact same pointless discussion with the finance minister that she’d had every month since her coronation. 

The minister was determined to slap her face on the currency, an idea Lena balked at as it caused nausea to churn in her stomach whenever she thought of her face occupying the same space her father and brother had sneered at her from for years.

She knew deep down that she would have to give in eventually on this matter... she just had no intention of today being that day,

“What’s wrong with having national landmarks on the money?” Lena asked for what felt, and probably was, the hundredth time. 

The finance minister was a balding man in a drab suit, who Lena found to be rather jittery whenever they met and she wouldn’t have been surprised if he had consumed at least ten cups of coffee only a minute before coming in to see her. He was a dull man, with a love of economics unmatched by anyone so there was no doubt in Lena’s mind that he was the best man for the job, her main issue with him was probably the same issue he had with her which was her refusal to be on the Theonian currency. 

“There’s nothing wrong with national landmarks per se, it’s just people are ambivalent towards them.” The minister, had a nasally tone which Lena found made everything he said sound like a weak excuse rather than a definitive statement, it also really got on her nerves but that was beside the point.

“Maybe they wouldn’t be if they were on the money they used everyday.” Lena cut back, grinding her teeth together as subtly as she could, though clearly not subtly enough if the way the short man shrank further in on himself was any indication.

“Tradition states that the head of state should be on the currency.” 

“Traditions change.” Lena reminded him with an arched eyebrow, “Unless of course you think the tradition of the monarch running everything and therefore not being legally obligated to allow elected ministers to hold office is something we should go back to?”

“What-... No… Of course not…”, The man spluttered, eyes wide and frightful.

“I’m glad we can agree on something.” Lena muttered inaudibly.

“But… the people wanted that change to take place.” The minister squeaked out before taking a deep breath and recomposing himself, clearly gathering himself for a rehearsed argument he had practiced in the shower that morning. “They don’t, however, want random points of interest in the place they feel their head of state should be.”

Lena exhaled slowly, counting backwards from one hundred in her head, “Ten years.”

“Excuse me?”

“You can put me on the money when I have been Queen for ten years.” Lena explained, waving her hand dismissively, “If the people still want me on the currency in ten years, we can present the change as a way to commemorate my reign.”

The minister studied her quietly for a long moment before leaning forward and saying, “What about five years instead?”

Lena groaned internally and readied herself for a long-drawn out debate.

It took over an hour to convince him to stick to ten years, and by that point it no longer felt like a victory to the Queen. 

The minute after he left, Lena felt all the emotion she had been holding back throughout the day hit her all at once.

She was exhausted from staying up all night causing her eyes to droop and her mind to feel slow. Her heart ached with the desire to reach out to Kara, to make things right, to try and earn another viewing of that large grin. Meanwhile, fear and self-loathing embedded deep within the very fibre of her being whispered that she deserved to be alone and that Kara had been right about who she really was. 

Three knocks had Lena lifting her head, that had fallen unceremoniously to rest on the surface of her desk, up and grant permission. “Your majesty,” Jess greeted, popping her head through the gap in the door, “visitor for you.”

Lena didn’t bother to ask who had come to see her. Only two people had unrestricted access to her office therefore never requiring an appointment and Sam wasn’t due back at the Palace for another hour. 

The door opened all the way, and Lena was on her feet only to be almost knocked to the ground by the thirteen year old girl that barrelled into her open arms.

“Lena!” Ruby yelled out excitedly.

Lena chuckled happily at the over the top greeting, wrapping Ruby up into a tight hug, “Hello, little one. You know it’s only been a week since we last saw each other, right?”

“Far too long.” Ruby declared defiantly. 

Lena couldn’t help but agree, the longest the two of them had been apart since they had met when Ruby was five, was three weeks. Lena adored the young girl more than anyone, hence why the threat of her disapproval from Sam was such a powerful one. If Lena ever had to choose between Theonia and Ruby, there was no doubt in Lena’s mind that she would let her entire country burn before she allowed harm to befall the young girl. To Ruby, Lena would always be Lena first and foremost, something Lena (and Sam secretly) would do their utmost to ensure never changed.

Lena kissed the top of Ruby’s head and gave her a final tight squeeze before letting her go. “Do you want to stay here and keep me company whilst I read some very boring reports?” Lena asked, jerking her head towards the table were Ruby would often sit and do her homework whilst she waited for her Mum to finish work. 

“How about we trade? I’ll read the boring reports and you can do my homework?” Ruby suggested, wagging her eyebrows and flashing Lena a cheeky smile.

“Good try, but no.” Lena said with an exasperated shake of her head, giving the girl a light push over to her seat. Ruby let out a mournful sigh but acquiesced without further complaint, smiling widely when Lena brought her own work over from her desk to the table to sit next to the teenager.

The two of them whiled away a good half-an-hour or so, stopping in their individual tasks to catch up about their time apart and for Lena to provide help to Ruby with some of her more difficult homework questions. Ruby’s presence, as always helped ease Lena’s overwrought emotional state and provided her with the necessary distraction from a certain journalist who simply would not leave her thoughts for even a moment. 

In fact, Ruby was so good at distracting her from the problems plaguing her own life, Lena was in no way prepared for the quietly murmured statement Ruby let out after a moment of silence between the two of them. “Mum was worried about you last night.”

Lena’s hand that had been wrapped around a pen taking careful notes, froze and she had to forcibly prevent her whole body from tensing up, knowing Ruby would notice her stiffness immediately. Lena exhaled slowly, and when she replied her tone was as neutral as she could make it, “She was, huh?

Ruby didn’t lift her eyes up, keeping them fixedly staring at her english essay which Lena noticed she didn’t seem to be actively writing anymore of. “She said you seemed even sadder than normal.”

Lena pursed her lips and continued to watch the girl out of the corner of her eye, “That implies I’m sad most of the time…”, Lena inferred, a familiar hollowness in her chest that only ever left her when she was with Ruby (or a certain blue eyed journalist), returning and making its presence known.  

Ruby merely shrugged sadly as if to agree, one of her hands fidgeting nervously with her pen. 

Lena sighed, pushing her work to the side and turning to face the girl, Ruby sensing the movement also swiveled in her seat giving up all pretence that she was doing her homework and staring up into Lena’s face with eyes filled with worry and curiosity as she questioned, “Is everything alright?”

Lena had no doubt that the young girl had spotted the dark circles under her eyes and that Lena was being particularly affectionate, something she only did when she was trying too hard to not let her sadness affect Ruby.

Lena pondered her answer but decided the truth was the best option where possible when it came to Ruby, “I made a mistake yesterday.”

Ruby’s brow furrowed, her mouth twisting into a small frown of uncertainty, “That’s nothing to be sad about,” She said, dismissing Lena’s problem gently yet firmly and summing up her reasoning with, “Mum says mistakes are how we learn.”

Lena couldn’t stop the smile from appearing on her face at the self-assuredness Ruby possessed, “That is very true,” Lena agreed with a light chuckle, knowing it’s best never to go against a ‘Mum says’ with Ruby, “but the reason I’m sad is because my mistake upset someone I care about and I don’t how to fix it.” Lena explained, unafraid of appearing fallible in Ruby’s eyes, unlike everyone else.

Ruby tilted her head in confusion, clearly believing the answer should be obvious, “Say you’re sorry.”

“I don’t think an apology is enough this time.” Lena whispered sincerely, her green eyes downcast.

“Then don't just say it, show it.” Ruby stated with a firmness that was so like her mother, Lena’s head automatically snapped up and moved from side to side to check that Sam hadn’t snuck in somehow without her realising. 

“Show it?” Lena repeated dumbly, acting as if Ruby had introduced her to the concept of electricity for the first time in her life.

“Yeah,” Ruby said with a determined nod, “show you wont make the same mistake again.”

Lena pondered the simple piece of advice gifted to her by a thirteen year old for a long moment before shaking her head regretfully and muttering, “If only it was that easy…”

Ruby made to open her mouth, her eyes fiery like her mother’s always were before an arguement or ‘heated discussion’ as Lena liked to call them, when three knocks announced Jess on the other side of the door.

Lena called out permission and Jess appeared in the doorway, for what felt like the fiftieth time that day, announcing, “Your majesty, Ms Arias is here.”

“Hey, Mum.” Ruby called out in greeting, spinning around in her seat, yet again, this time to face the harried and rather exhausted looking brunette that was strolling into her office as Jess ducked out and shut the door behind her.

“Hey there, sweetie, how was school?” Sam asked putting on a cheery voice even though Lena could tell her best friend hadn’t had a good nor successful day by the way her shoulders slumped with noticeable fatigue.

“Eh, same as ever…”, Ruby replied with a light shrug as her mum came stand behind her chair and give her a quick hug before falling into a seat across the table. Ruby and Lena exchanged a quick glance of concern over Sam’s uncharacteristic lack of energy.

Lena decided to cut right to the point, prompting her chief of staff for a summary with a simple, “So?”

Sam looked at Lena with genuine disappointment in her eyes, and shook her head mournfully, “The reporters came back without a single comment. No one was willing to speak to them.” 

Lena barely prevented her jaw from dropping at the total failure. She knew from the numbers and from her discussions with Palace staff who hadn’t had much interaction with the foreign journalists that there was a good deal of suspicion and mistrust… but to this level? 

For no one to speak to any of the reporters?

J’onn was right in saying that they needed to send out a signal, but Lena was now questioning the level of subtlety that was required to make people willing to talk whilst also not feeling pressured.

Lena understood why her people were not keen to share anything with outsiders; for centuries Theonia had thrived on it’s own, its main interactions with other countries had come from invasions or attempts to destabilise their nation. Many people felt this abandonment of the isolationist doctrine was a colossal mistake, and Lena was under no illusions that those with that particular belief would not speak to the press out of a desire to remain loyal to the silence associated with the past. 

The main issue, however, was that even those who might be able to see the benefits of embracing the wider world would be just as reticent as everyone else to open up to the foreign journalists because of the way the international media had portrayed Theonia to the world. Citizens of Theonia, especially during Lex’s reign of terror, were presented as barbaric and uneducated, at the same time as their beliefs and traditions were ridiculed as unevolved. Many of the media giants responsible for some of the worst and most inaccurate reports are among the cohort currently staying at the Palace. 

The sharp pang of disappointment Lena experienced upon hearing how her people refused to look beyond the past and give those that were even involved in the original reporting a chance, was instantly beaten down. 

Lena couldn’t justify the disappointment… 

Not when she had done the exact same thing… 

In fact, she had done far worse. 

She didn’t just assume Kara was out to hurt her, like her people did with the reporters, she actively hurt her back… at least her citizens were decent enough to merely adopt the silent treatment rather than try and inflict pain.

It was this parallel, between herself and her people, that brought an end to the shutdown that had been afflicting Lena’s brain since Kara had stormed out of her office, with an almighty kickstart to the system.

“We’ll try again tomorrow, maybe we were just unlucky today-”

Lena didn’t take in a single word her best friend was saying. Ruby’s advice echoed resoundingly throughout her mind as a plan began to form and take a shape, consuming her entire attention span. 

“Jess!” Lena yelled out, jumping to her feet so suddenly both Arias girls flinched. Jess appeared in the doorway instantly, ready to fulfill Lena’s next command without hesitation, “Can you call Commander Lane for me? Tell her I need to make a significant change to my schedule tomorrow.”

“At once, your majesty.” Jess acknowledged the order with a slight bow of her head before she ducked back out of the room.

“Lena, what are you doing?” Sam’s confused inquiry and very worried expression succeeded in pulling Lena out of her excited mental spiral and effectively reminded her that she was in the company of the only two people in the world brave enough to question her erratic behaviour.

“Killing two birds with one stone.” Lena replied with a determined nod as she rushed to pick up her tablet to start making the necessary arrangements for tomorrow.

“And those two birds would be?” Sam pressed waving her hands dramatically above her head to try and grab Lena’s full attention. 

Lena paused in her composition of an email to cancel her meetings for tomorrow, and looked up to smile a rare, hopeful smile at her best friend, “Sending a signal and…” Lena glanced over at Ruby, who was watching her closely with a furrowed brow and tilted head, and shot her an over-the-top wink, “showing I won’t make the same mistake twice.”


	7. Kara Joins the Dark Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so Lena's apology isn't in this chapter because it was getting ridiculously long so I decided it had to be split. 
> 
> This chapter runs parallel to Lena's day in the previous chapter and sets up a few things for the future. 
> 
> The apology chapter I will aim to get out (at the latest) Monday night, but to make up for the minor delay, I am going to give you a quick excerpt from it in the end notes. Okay, thanks for your patience. :) x

“Hey, Kara?”

“Hmm…”, Kara hummed softly, lifting her gaze up and away from the small plate of food she had been picking at throughout breakfast.

Winn and James exchanged a worried look before James reached across the table to squeeze her forearm, “Are you sure you’re feeling better?” Kara’s smile in response was tight and noticeably forced, thereby doing little to alleviate the concerned expressions on her friends’ faces.

Yesterday, after returning from her ‘meeting’ with the Queen, Kara had been besieged by questions from her two friends worried about why she had been taken away for no apparent reason. Kara lied, telling them that she had been called into see Sam who had heard their interview had run long and simply wanted to make sure everything had gone alright. The lie came quickly and easily, so the boys accepted it at face value despite their obvious awareness that Kara couldn’t meet either of their eyes as she spoke.

Kara threw herself into her work, lacking her usual grin and bubbly enthusiasm. Her friends immediately picked up on her mood and tried desperately to pull her out of it with jokes, stories and good natured teasing. Kara, however, merely nodded along for a while before eventually claiming that she wasn’t feeling well and simply wanted to get the write up done, send it to Snapper and then go straight to bed. James deflated instantly, backing off to let her have some space whereas Winn looked ready to force the problem out of her, only truly accepting Kara not feeling well when she willingly declined dinner.

Kara finished the article, sent it to Snapper, went for a long shower to try and scrub the disappointment off herself before collapsing into bed.

She felt utterly drained and hollowed out.

The accusations, insults and scorn thrown at her by the Queen kept replaying in her head over and over again. She hated that everything she was and everything she strived to be had been ripped to shreds in a matter of moments.

She had been called the equivalent of a liar, a fraud and a manipulator.

The realisation that the Queen truly believed that she was capable of being cruel, untrustworthy and so unbelievably selfish that she would write about their shared conversations for the whole world to read was unbearable. It made her feel like a failure and allowed self-doubt about who she was as a person and how she presented herself to seep in.

What hurt the most, though?

Knowing that someone she cared about, someone she genuinely liked, someone that made her heart race and soar, genuinely thought that little of her.

Kara laid in bed going over her every interaction with the chef and the Queen trying to figure out what she had done that might have led the Queen to make those assumptions about her. She went over their conversations, their laughter and their smiles trying desperately to a see a warning sign of the Queen’s personality underneath the kindness, care and concern she associated with the chef.

She produced no examples for either quandary, much to her own frustration.

She had to beg, cajole and threaten every fibre of her being to ensure she didn’t go to the kitchen that night, intent on seeking out the chef to find the person she had been falling for before this whole mess.

But that person was gone, Kara told herself, she never existed in the first place.

Sleep, thankfully, took her and provided a minor reprieve from the torturous thoughts consuming her.  

By morning, she was feeling marginally better, at least well enough to force a smile and try to eat.

“Yeah, much better… just recovering.” Kara answered, attempting to prove the honesty of her statement by shovelling a forkful of pancake into her mouth.

James squeezed her arm again, capturing her attention, “Kara, no one is going to hold it against you if you want to stay here and rest.” Kara appreciated the offer, but that was the last thing she wanted. She needed to throw herself into her job and focus on the task at hand, it was the only thing she could do that might sufficiently help her forget the hopeless fantasy of a kind hearted chef with an inability to make souffles. “The interview you put out yesterday was incredible, even Snapper would say you deserve a break if you are not feeling well.”

“I’m fine, seriously.” Kara affimed, the smile on her face more genuine in response to her friends’ obvious concern. “There’s no way I’m resting on my laurels, especially not when we are finally being given the chance to talk to _real_ citizens.” A glint of familiar enthusiasm sparked inside of her and she could see James and Winn’s fears being eased. “This is the part I’ve been looking forward to the most.”

“Alright, if you say so.” James relented, releasing his grip on Kara’s forearm. “But let us know if there’s anything you need. We stick together, remember?” He nodded to her and Winn with a soft expression.

Kara’s throat felt scratchy and she couldn’t bring herself to speak without sounding choked up, instead she simply nodded and smiled.

Since her first day at CatCo, the three of them had formed a close friendship built on supporting one another as much possible. James consoled her when she got her first article torn to pieces by Snapper, he helped her hide the tears and then gave her useful guidance for her next article. The day Winn’s father’s case went up for appeal, Kara took one of her rare holidays from work to merely keep him company, binge watching close to two seasons of Doctor Who to distract him from everything. Winn, though he would never admit it despite everyone knowing, had spent an incalculable amount of time learning about different cameras and lens specs so that James would have someone who also had technical knowledge to gush with about the latest upgrades he bought for his camera.

They all agreed that they were friends because they stuck together through the good times and the bad.

Kara wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Yeah, that and…” Winn cut in, with his usual dry, mocking tone, “I’m terrified of what Alex will do to us if we don’t look after you.”

Kara huffed out a breath and rolled her eyes dismissively, “C’mon guys, she’s not that bad.” She glanced over to James expectantly, waiting for him to jump in and agree with her.

James blushed and ducked his head, murmuring, “Yeah, I’m going to have to agree with Winn on this one.” Kara’s expression became pinched, and she opened her mouth to protest whilst James lifted his hands up placatingly, “Don’t forget, I was there for your birthday two years ago.”

“Pfft… that was hardly a big deal….” Kara muttered, crossing her arms over her chest defensively.

“Kara…”, James said, wide-eyed and horrified as if reliving a trauma, “she threatened to arrest a five year old for ruining your cake.”

“She did what?!” Winn squawked, his previous perplexity disappearing to be replaced with extreme alarm. He had missed Kara’s birthday party that year due to being sent to a tech conference, upon returning he had asked both of them how it had gone. James opened his mouth to reply but Kara had shot him an intimidating glare that had the man shutting up faster than if Cat Grant herself had strolled into the office.

“That five year old, you’re forgetting…” Kara responded haughtily, ignoring Winn’s question, “was the real-life embodiment of Damien Thorn.” Kara lifted her chin and declared, “He had it coming…”

James stared at her in disbelief, shaking his head as he reminded her, “He was five, Kara.”

“Yeah, exactly…” Kara agreed, nodding vigorously as if James had just made the case for her, “he was old enough to know better…”

James’ mouth opened and closed repeatedly, unable to think of an appropriate response to that.

“Guys!” Winn exclaimed, his eyes alighting on the most recent arrival to the dining hall. “One of my favourite sights in the whole world has just walked in... a far less arrogant Mike Matthews.” Winn was practically giddy with joy, and Kara sneaked a subtle peek at the LYNX reporter. Mike’s perfectly coiffed hair seemed slightly out of place, his clothes didn’t appear to be as immaculately selected to emphasise his good looks as normal and his trademark charming smile had been replaced with a petulant pout. “Anyone else loving that we took him and LYNX down a peg or two?” Winn gleefully asked.

Kara’s brow furrowed quizzically, unsure what they had specifically done to contribute to LYNX’s favourite reporter’s dip in self-confidence, “How so?”

Winn’s eyebrows came together in question for a second before a large grin appeared, “Oh my god, you don’t know!” In his excitement, Winn whacked CatCo’s photojournalist’s bicep with more force than necessary to get his attention, “James, tell her! She’s more likely to believe it if you say it.”

Kara looked questioningly at James, whose mouth was barely resisting shifting into a large smirk.

“Your interview with the UN ambassador got more hits than LYNX’s interview with the Queen.” James stated as seriously as he could whilst trying to tamp down on his own elation. “Yannic, from ‘The Chicago Tribune’, whose room is next door to LYNX heard Mike getting a major dressing down about squandering their interview.”

“Really?” Kara gasped out, pride in her work overwhelming her for the most part except for a small piece of her that was secretly (and Kara was super disappointed in herself for it) relishing making Mike look like the tantruming five year old from her party.

“People wanted real information, just like you said.” James appeared more hopeful than Kara had ever seen him in that one moment.

“Anyone fancy gloating, just a little bit?” Winn inquired with a mischievous grin.

“What? No!” Kara asserted, trying to get control of her own desire to boast. “We got this victory by taking the high road-”

“Hey, Mike!” Winn yelled, waving his hand in the air to catch the attention of the reporter walking by.

James shook his head in disappointment whilst Kara slumped down in her seat, wanting no involvement in what she was certain was going to be an absolute trainwreck. “I might as well be talking to a wall…” Kara breathed out inaudibly.

“How are things going?” Winn asked with an arrogant eyebrow raise (Kara hated how she immediately thought it was a poor imitation of the Queen’s far more effective use) as Mike approached their table with heavy footsteps.

“Great, fantastic even.” Mike replied curtly, his lip curling with minor disgust as he stared down at the CatCo technology expert.

“That’s good to know.” Winn continued, unperturbed by the dark glare being levelled at him. “We were just talking about our interview yesterday…” Winn gestured to his friends who reluctantly made minor hums of agreement to appease the nerd, unwilling to let him miss out on enjoying the moment where he got to stand up to a bully even if they didn’t agree with his methods. “You know the one that people are saying is the ‘defining piece of journalism to aid in understanding the world’s future interactions with Theonia.’”

“That’s incredible…” Mike whistled out with an unnerving level of swagger, causing an unfathomable pool of dread to start forming in the pit of Kara’s stomach. “I mean…” Mike began licking his lips before pausing to place an unwelcome hand on Kara’s shoulder, that she failed to shrug off when he leveraged his weight onto her so he could lean forward taking up a large proportion of the space at the table. “It’s nice to know that even dying media outlets like CatCo can still rise up from the grave to seize a rare five minutes of self-importance.” His tone was scathing and his words venomous in complete opposition to the reappearance of the charming smile on his face. “Because that’s what this is, you know that right?” Mike tilted his head to the side, staring Winn down with what appeared to be a genuinely curious expression. “Better equipped reporters will have expanded on what you wrote by the end of today, using your work for an even bigger story.”

Every word was stated simply, as if it was a fact and Kara felt fury bubbling in her veins threatening to consume her, James looked to be fighting a similar internal battle whilst Winn’s previous happiness seemed to be disappearing with each comment directed at him.

“By tomorrow, everyone will have forgotten what you wrote, whilst I will go down in history as the first foreign journalist to interview the Queen.” Mike squeezed Kara’s shoulder and she instantly threw her elbow back to hit Mike in the stomach, but he intuitively recognised he had pushed his luck and sidestepped gracefully, letting her go whilst he continued to speak. “That’s the difference between CatCo and LYNX… you’re fighting desperately to remain relevant when you’re already decades behind.”

Winn’s nostrils flared and his hands clenched into fists. James leaned forward and whispered soothingly in Winn’s ear, “It’s not worth it. Let it go.”

“We’re the ones that are decades behind?!” Winn shouted back resulting in Mike positively lighting up at getting a rise out of him. “Have you seen your website? It looks like it was programmed by a twelve year old interning over the summer.”

“I’m sorry,” Mike apologized sarcastically, “I must have missed CatCo’s most recent technological advances.” He tapped his chin thoughtfully and Kara couldn’t help but think it was the closest he had ever come to actually thinking deeply. “Oh, wait…”, Mike snapped his fingers together dramatically causing the friends to flinch at the sharp sound, “that’s probably because there haven’t been any.”

“Leave it, please.” James pleaded yet again, laying his hand atop Winn’s to try and ease out his fist.

“That changes tomorrow.” Winn declared with a twisted, victorious smirk.

“Winn-”, Kara tried to interrupt this time, but her friend was so focused on seizing any advantage in his argument that he didn’t even register she had spoken. Kara and James shared a non-verbal conversation over the table and agreed on a course of action in a matter of seconds. They both clamboured to their feet.

“We’ve been working on creating a virtual tour of the Palace to match what we saw yesterday. People will actually be able to walk through the Palace for themselves.” Winn spouted as Kara and James rounded the table and hoisted their friend to his feet, “Suck on-”

Kara quickly interrupted, pushing down Winn’s raised arm that was only a fraction of a second away from giving a glowering, snarling Mike the finger, “It was lovely catching up but we should really be on our way.” Kara and James dragged their teammate towards the exit. “Let’s…uhh... never do this again.” Kara called back over her shoulder.

Once they were out of the dining hall and at least two corridors away, James and Kara released Winn, whose anger had evaporated to be replaced with shame and guilt.

“I’m sorry…” Winn whispered defeatedly, unable to meet either of his friend’s eyes, “I just… “ He shook his head despondently, “we never get the victory… you know?” A flash of cold green appeared in Kara’s head drilling in just how much Winn’s assertion rang true. “We do the right thing and we still lose…”

“It’s okay, Winn.” James murmured, wrapping his arm around the smaller man to give him a side hug.

“Yeah, we all have our bad moments….” Kara reassured, ignoring the hope that thought stoked inside that she extinguished with her following caveat, “What matters is what we do after them.”

The three of them turned into the atrium to find another group of journalists already present and speaking to Sam who was glancing at her tablet whilst seated at a table set up by the doorway.

Winn snorted in amusement at Kara’s platitude as they waited patiently for Sam to be free, “You’re a walking hallmark card.”

“I know.” Kara concurred flashing Winn a blinding smile that he returned to the best of his ability. “Come on,” Kara nodded her head towards the brunette, now free as the reporters she’d been speaking to headed out accompanied by a young blonde soldier. “Let’s go see Sam and get on our way.” Kara corralled her two friends forward with a loving shove.

“Hey, looking forward to today?” Sam asked with an even more chipper attitude than usual, Kara’s attention, however, was completely consumed by the platter of cupcakes set out on the table to pick up on the way Sam was studying her far more intensely than usual. Kara’s appetite, which had been absent for the last two meals, reappeared with a vengeance as she ogled the desserts that looked like they had been taken out of a goddamn television advert.

“You have no idea.” James answered, when it was clear Kara was experiencing a love affair of epic proportions at that moment of time.

“Where are you planning on going?” Sam inquired, her fingers poised to note down their answer into her tablet.

Kara was convinced those cupcakes were crying out her name, begging to be eaten by her. It took a herculean amount of effort to drag her gaze away and not-so-inconspicuously wipe the drool from the corner of her mouth so she could answer Sam’s question.

“The Royal Observatory.” Kara responded, her excitement for their trip palpable with how she bounced up and down on the balls of her feet.

The Royal Observatory, one of the biggest tourist attractions built on a hill outside National City, was of major importance to Theonia, as stars and astrology played key parts in their culture and heritage. They had their own constellations and stories that went with them that Kara couldn’t wait to learn about firsthand by experts. The other benefit, other than indulging Kara’s personal interests, was that they were guaranteed to meet real citizens as the observatory was always busy.  

“Nice!” Sam exclaimed with a cheer, “My daughter loves it there, Le-...” Sam’s broad smile faltered for a second, her eyes darting away from Kara’s causing the blonde to blink rapidly in confusion, “a uh- family friend took her there for her birthday and she’s been begging to go back ever since.” Sam cleared her throat, and Kara could pinpoint the exact moment she shifted back to being their tour organiser and stopped sharing her real self, “I’ll just send a message to Captain Dunn, he’ll be your escort for your trips out of the Palace.”

“Impressive memory,” Winn whistled, his chin pointing to a closed file sat beside Sam which he had spotted her consulting when she set up the last group with their guard, “you didn’t even need to look.”

“Oh… uh… yeah…” Sam’s eyes went wide and she ducked her head to concentrate on her tablet, allowing an awkward atmosphere to settle over them.

Kara, unsure of where this sudden awkwardness had come from, experienced her usual overwhelming need to fill the silence hanging in the air. She made to open her mouth, when Sam, without even looking at her, pushed the platter of cupcakes towards the three reporters.

“Here have a guilt cupcake.”

As soon as the offer was made, Kara was diving forward without hesitation, Winn and James not far behind. She grabbed the biggest, blue frosted cupcake and took the largest bite she could manage, letting out a moan of pleasure. It was the best cupcake Kara had ever eaten, and she tried to savour every bite as much as possible. The CatCo crew were quiet as they demolished the cupcakes whilst Sam glanced up at them in amusement. Once Kara had regretfully finished her own, having smeared blue frosting over her nose, tried to decide if she was allowed to eat another one or two or three when she registered what Sam had called the desserts.

“Guilt cupcakes?” The question fell from Kara’s blue tinted lips with an inquisitive and bemused lilt.

Sam pursed her lips at the question, still refusing to make eye contact as she merely hummed in acknowledgement, and refused to provide an actual answer. To prevent Kara from prompting for clarification, Sam shot to her feet, saying loudly whilst staring at something past Kara’s shoulder, “And look, here comes Captain Dunn now.”

Kara spun around to see an older, uniformed man treading towards them. He was a little shorter and leaner than James and his black uniform was obviously worn with pride by the way he led with his chest as if to draw attention to the royal guard sigil on his right breast. He had combed brown hair with grey highlights, a crooked scar running from his left temple around his eye to the bulb of his cheek and his eyes were an overcast grey, that looked wise and observant. He walked with purpose, though Kara couldn’t help but notice the way he put just a little bit more weight into his right leg than his left.

“Ms. Arias, a pleasure as always.” The guard’s greeting was soft spoken, only a modicum above a whisper yet his voice travelled clearly to all those listening.

“And you, Captain.” Sam tipped her head and gave the man her far more real, less showy smile that Kara had first seen in the August Gardens. “It’s good to see the Queen is finally letting you back on your feet.” Sam commented with an amused uptick to her mouth.

Kara raised an eyebrow at that but remained quiet recognising this was a conversation between old friends with a lot of history.

The Captain’s neutral expression, seemed just that little bit more blank than before as he murmured with a minor shrug which Kara felt hid a wealth of emotion, “The Queen was being understandably… _cautious._ ”

“As diplomatic as ever, Captain.” Kara smirked at the banter enjoying watching Sam struggle to cover up a snort of laughter at the soldier’s carefully selected wording. 

The Captain straightened up, his hands moving from his sides to being clasped behind his back. “I have made a full recovery and am pleased to serve in any capacity that I can.” He reported as if a full summary of his capabilities and willingness to serve was being questioned by a superior.

Sam made eye contact with Kara and rolled her eyes at the soldier’s display, leading to a chuckle that Kara was forced to hide behind a cough when those steely eyes focused on her. “Well,” Sam announced with a wave of her hands, “allow me to introduce you to the CatCo cohort. James Olsen, Winn Schott, and… Kara Danvers.”

The Captain nodded at each of them in turn yet his eyes settled and lingered on Kara far longer than everyone else and Kara noted how Sam had spoken her name far more hesitant than everyone else’s.

“An honour.” He stated with complete sincerity, still scrutinising Kara closely who couldn’t stop herself from squirming under his close inspection.

“Nice to meet you, Captain.” James replied on behalf of the team with a welcoming grin that Kara was pleased to find shifted the attention of those wise eyes away from her. James stuck out a hand for the soldier to shake which he did without hesitation.

“They intend to visit the royal observatory,” Sam explained as she picked up a set of car keys from the table and handed them to Captain Dunn, “look after them and make sure they are back for their next interview in the afternoon.”

Captain Dunn stepped forward and accepted the keys with a serious nod, “I won’t let her down, Ms. Arias.”

The newly cemented member of the team completed an about turn and gestured with a wide wave of his arm to the door, a polite direction for them to head out. James and Winn immediately walked forward, both adjusting the backpacks they had dropped at their feet as they did so.

Kara however paused, her brow furrowed with the familiar crease in her forehead that indicated either a high level ramble or a torrent of questions brewing below the surface. Oddly enough, neither of those cases were accurate, she only had the one question that she murmured out of the corner of her mouth to the brunette who was watching her closely, “Her?”

Sam’s eyebrow rose ever so slightly and she gave Kara a knowing, almost apologetic expression, but just like before she ignored the question, “Alright, you should probably get going, the next group is waiting.” Sam nodded her head towards a new group of reporters waiting at the back of the atrium for their turn. “Let me know how it goes.” Sam requested with an encouraging smile.

Kara had been accused of obliviousness multiple times in her life, but that didn’t mean she was stupid, not even slightly.

Sam was looking at her far differently to how she used to.

Not in a bad way. Not in a way that would suggest the Queen had convinced Sam that her accusations regarding Kara were true. Sam didn’t look at Kara with distaste, disgust or mistrust but with sorrow and guilt. She looked on the verge of saying something, of spilling a secret that she had to threaten herself to keep.

The Queen must have spoken to her, that much was obvious. Kara, however, couldn’t work out what the Queen had told Sam to produce such behaviour.

Then there was their security guard. Their soldier who was far older and higher ranked than all of the guards Kara had seen be assigned to other reporting teams.

Not to mention the fact that Captain Dunn seemed to know who she was before they met, then studied her as intensely as he would an alien being and made a reference to ‘her’ with such reverence it could only be one person.

Clearly, the Queen had a hand in who had been assigned to protect them.

The question was why?

To watch Kara and report back for any evidence that she planned to publish their talks?

To intimidate her?

Kara shook her head to clear it of the questions plaguing her, hurrying after her friends, throwing a goodbye wave to Sam as she jogged through the large doors. Winn and James were loading up into an inconspicuous silver estate car, the roof covered in solar panels like all the others Kara had seen so far, whilst Captain Dunn inspected the tires and vehicle closely.  

“Miss Danvers.” Captain Dunn acknowledged her approach by standing up out of his crouched position by the front tire and moved to open the car door for her.

Kara flashed her signature, bright grin as she came to stand in front of the older man, hoping that her friendliness would counteract any negative reports the Queen may have given the soldier regarding her. “You can call me Kara.” She offered kindly.

Captain Dunn pursed his lips into a harsh frown, and Kara began to worry that she had insulted him in some way without realising, “I will call you Ma’am or Miss Danvers, which would you prefer?”

Kara blinked in surprise at the question as the Captain stared at her expectantly, “Err… Miss Danvers.” Kara stammered out, blushing heavily as she did so.

The soldier nodded once in acceptance and made to step back when Kara felt the need to unnecessarily expand on her decision. She feared her choice might have been the wrong one and that the Captain would continue to think negatively of her despite her endeavour to overcome his preconceived notions.

“Ma’am makes me feel like a seventy year old war widow or one of those women who run a brothel… no, wait that’s a madam… completely different. Miss Danvers just makes me feel like a kindergarten teacher, which I’ve been told I would be really good at.” It wasn’t until Kara was halfway through her level three ramble, that she realised she probably wasn’t helping her cause. “Something about my sunny disposition and unmatched love of education… but that’s neither here nor there… so yep... Miss Danvers, please.”

Captain Dunn did not react even remotely to Kara’s unwanted justification, simply nodding sedately in understanding as he gestured yet again to the car door he was holding open for her, “Shall we be on our way, Miss Danvers?”

“Yes… err… Captain.” Kara exhaled deeply, keeping her gaze to the floor in the small hope of hiding her embarrassment from the soldier, this action, unfortunately, prevented her from seeing the small, already fond smile forming on the Captain’s face as he finally saw exactly why the Queen was so enamoured with the blonde.

He also couldn’t help thinking how Kara Danvers might be exactly what his Queen needs.

Once Kara slipped into the backseat ignoring the barely suppressed laughter of her two friends caused by her asinine babble, the Captain started the car and they were on their way. The journey passed quickly, Kara yet again stared out the window and revelled in the way the roads seemed to carve unobtrusively through the trees.

Kara had only really been exposed to two places in her lifetime. Metropolis was a sprawling city and Midvale was a beach town with, what Kara now appreciated was, a minor forest to one side meaning she hadn't had much experience with such sights. She was in a state of constant wonderment at the height and sheer number of trees covering the majority of the country laid before her. She wanted to say she had also never seen such a vibrant green colour but she found a pair of green eyes filling her head in defiance to that claim.

Upon arriving at the Royal Observatory, Captain Dunn took point, moving swiftly without running to open the car doors for the team, and led them into the large domed building to the visitors’ centre that was heaving with people. The journalists’ original plan was to get a tour of the observatory then talk to people when they had enough knowledge to use their location as a conversation starter. They weren’t planning on getting detailed interviews for this day, the hope was to make contacts, get recognisability and peek people’s interest. The aim was to get a few quotes here and there to accompany their article on the observatory to highlight the importance that stars have in Theonian culture from actual everyday Theonians.

That’s when they reached their first stumbling block, the first major indicator that today wasn’t going to go well.

None of the guides were willing to show them around.

None of them even said a word to the CatCo team as soon as they introduced themselves as foreign reporters.

The only minor comfort Kara got from the whole experience of being blatantly ignored came from Captain Dunn. She caught a glimpse of a flicker of anger on Captain Dunn’s face when his countrymen refused to acknowledge their existence, and then, upon seeing how disheartened the three of them were, he took them around the area by himself, telling them facts and details in his soft spoken voice. Admittedly, he shied away from telling stories or using embellishing language but his knowledge was incredibly impressive and Kara filled at least eight pages of her notebook.

After their tour, they set up in the visitor’s centre, approaching people for comments and quotes, all under the watchful gaze of their security officer. People were friendly right up until they revealed their positions in the foreign media, the transformation that took place was instantaneous and rather disconcerting the first few times. They persevered for at least three more hours until they admitted defeat, agreeing to head back to the Palace and prepare for their interview with the agricultural minister.  

Kara rested her forehead against the glass window of the car door all the way back, wondering if maybe there was something specifically wrong with her that turned Theonians against her as soon as they knew her name.

All she wanted in that moment was to hurry back to the kitchen and spend time with the chef who would fuss over her and make her laugh until she forgot about all the bad parts of her day. The acceptance that this wasn’t an option stung far worse than she cared to admit.

Normally, James and Winn would try to draw her out of her rare bouts of melancholy but they were weighed down with their own disappointment. The car journey back to the Palace was quiet and filled with heavy sighs of despondency.

“Well… that was pretty shit.” Winn summed up when they finally strolled back into their rooms at the Palace. Captain Dunn walked them inside, telling them he would meet them in the atrium tomorrow morning then he gave them a respectful farewell nod and headed off to report into his superiors.

“Swear jar.” Kara murmured, strolling past him to unceremoniously flop on the couch.

Winn pouted as he went over to his laptop set up on one of the desks, “I thought it didn’t count if we were in a different country…”

“That’s Vegas.” Kara replied, draping her forearm over her eyes to block out the light. She held up her other hand and pointed in the general direction of where Winn had moved to, “And you still owe a dollar for swearing yesterday.”

“Damnit,” Winn winced “I thought you’d forgotten about that.” James snorted as he fell into the armchair beside the couch, pulling out his phone to scroll through emails and to check out how the other news outlets were doing.

“You should know by now not to underestimate me.” Kara reminded him with a glare that was completely ineffectual due to being hidden behind her arm.

Kara heard the derisive snort and the sharp inhale that usually preceded a dry retort from Winn when James yelled out, “Guys! You need to come and see this!”

“What’s up?” Winn asked and Kara heard his chair being pushed back over the carpet indicating that he was hurrying around without needing a reason.

“Why do you sound panicked?” Kara inquired, pulling the arm away from her eyes to glance over at James who was staring, absolutely distraught, at something on his phone that he was gripping tightly in one hand. She was on her feet the second she absorbed the expression on her friend’s face, rushing to stand behind him alongside Winn to see what had caused the calm, steady heart of their team to look positively ill.

Kara’s face drained of colour as she croaked out, “That’s our…”

“HOLY SHIT!” Winn roared, James and Kara flinched in response but neither reprimanded him for his language. “How the hell did this happen?” Winn gasped out, horror and pure rage mixing into a devastating concoction that had him pacing angrily whilst moisture coated his eyes.

Kara couldn’t look at him for long without feeling his own heightened emotions transferring over to her. Her hands had already curled into fists at her sides and she couldn’t keep herself from constantly looking back to James’ phone in the hope that what they were seeing wasn’t true.

On the small screen of James’ phone was the LYNX website, a nausea inducing sight any day of the week with it’s Kardashian headlines taking up the page. Today, though, instead of a large link to a recent hollywood actress’ stint in rehab was a picture of the Theonian Royal Palace with an invitation for the reader to experience a virtual tour for themselves. James began to robotically click through it and there was no doubting it… it was their tour, the tour Winn had been working on, using coding he had been developing for months with the aim to integrate with the CatCo website for months, and photos James had taken yesterday.  

“This is my fault.” James whispered.

“No, it’s mine.” Winn stated, rubbing his face harshly, attempting to lessen the emotion swirling inside of him and to hide the shame burning his face. “I goaded Mike.”

“Winn,” James sighed out, getting to his feet and walking over to place his hands on Winn’s shoulders to ensure he had his attention. “I forgot to log out and shut down your computer.” Winn’s hands fell away from his now red face and he instantly began to shake his head refusing to let James take any of the blame. “You let me use it to check the other news sites this morning and someone must have snuck in...”

Kara clapped her hands together loudly, knowing if she left the boys for too long they would start a cycle of self blame and guilt that she would never be able to break them out of. “This is no one’s fault but Mike’s!” Kara shouted jarring the guilt out of her two friends to be replaced with the anger that was bubbling below the surface.

“That asshole,” Winn seethed, “what can we do to get back at him?”

“We’re not rising to the bait.” Kara reprimanded her friends upon seeing that even James appeared more than willing to jump onboard the revenge train.

Winn’s brow furrowed at her declaration, “Kara, the whole tour thing was your idea in the first place.” Winn glanced over to James who nodded in agreement. “Do you seriously want to let him get away with this?” Winn asked wide-eyed and desperate.

Of course, Kara didn’t want Mike to get away with it like he always did.

Of course, Kara wanted revenge, wanted to make him feel small, wanted to be just as vindictive as Mike had been.

And any other day, any other time, Kara would be able to quash those dark desires and feelings down. Now, though, she had been pushed that little bit too far, had been let down just that little bit too much but that wasn’t what pushed her over the edge.

It was seeing James and Winn also beyond their limit and ready to fight back.

They stick together through the good times and the bad.

Kara wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Alright…” Kara breathed out with a determined glint in her eye as she stared into the resolute faces of her friends, “what’s your bright idea?”

Winn and James exchanged a long look, holding a nonverbal conservation which involved Winn nodding vigorously and James shaking his head for a few moments before letting out a groan and nodding in agreement. Winn turned back to face Kara who had raised an eyebrow at the whole scene that had unfolded in front of her.

Winn cleared his throat, a tentative smile appearing on his face as he said, “I think we need to call in an expert.”

“An expert?” Kara repeated dumbly in confusion, until the way James wouldn’t meet her eye and the way Winn shifted nervously from foot to foot helped click everything into place. “No.” Kara declared, crossing her arms over her chest and jutting out her chin, “No, I refuse.”

Twenty minutes later, the skype call connected with an ominous ding that had Kara’s stomach sinking.

“Alex.” Kara greeted with false cheer and a crooked, unnatural smile.

Alex beamed at her from the other side of the screen, “Hey! How did it go wi-” Kara’s eyes went wide and she made a cutting motion across her throat, Alex shut up immediately tilting her head to the side in question when Winn and James both suddenly appeared in the frame. Alex arched an eyebrow, looking between the three reporters who were watching her closely with something akin to wonder and fear.

Kara knew Alex was rejoicing in it, even if she didn't know the reason behind it.

“Oh, hi guys…” Alex murmured before proceeding to employ silence as a weapon to get her audience to speak first.

“We need your help.” James announced upon seeing Winn and Kara shrinking under Alex’s simultaneously curious and intimidating gaze.

“My help? With what?” Alex asked, fully taken by surprise.

James and Winn both prodded Kara in the back to get her to take over this part causing her to grumble in being offered up to handle the most embarrassing aspect. “We need your advice on…” Kara cleared her throat, hoping it would stop her from sounding so hesitant, “on… uh… not taking the high road...”

Alex’s jaw dropped, her eyes lighting up with what Kara assumed was hellfire as her sister tapped into her ability to commit untold terror, “Oh my god… it’s finally happened!” Alex cackled out and all Kara could do was pout childishly in response. “Welcome to the dark side, little sister.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: An Introduction to National City's Heroes
> 
> "I swear this isn’t me trying to get your sympathy after what I did, I just wanted you to understand that it had nothing to do with you. You did nothing wrong and gave me absolutely no reason to doubt you. This is all on me. You saw Lena, those two nights. You met the real me, not just a tiny slither but the whole damn thing."


	8. An Introduction to National City's Heroes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay with this, didn't have any time to write whilst travelling back from a holiday and then went back to work to find myself thrown two huge projects out of nowhere... which is actually quite exciting... but, still sorry for saying it would be up on Monday and not getting it out till much later.
> 
> Anyway here's the chapter you've been waiting for. :) x

“Be quick, okay?” Kara whispered, her head jerking from side to side anxiously trying to watch both sides of the corridor in the expectation that someone would come rushing from either end to find the three Catco reporters in the process of… ‘lingering suspiciously’ outside LYNX’s rooms.

“We were planning on dilly-dallying but now you’ve said that-” Winn replied sarcastically a few decibels above quiet.

Kara’s hand flew up to cover Winn’s mouth at the exact same time as James’. Winn spluttered indignantly beneath their palms as Kara’s nostrils flared and her eyes bored angrily into the tech expert’s. 

“Go, already!” Kara commanded, pulling her hand away to flap it in the direction of the door to LYNX’s rooms. Winn shrugged at the order attempting to appear cool and collected. This, however, was undercut by the yelp of fright he let out when James yanked him backwards through the door without hesitation.

Kara huffed out a breath, turning back to watch the corridor like a hawk as she tried to appear nonchalant and casual by leaning against the wall. Unfortunately, appearing casual under even the best of circumstances wasn’t within Kara’s repertoire of skills. She was so focused on keeping her body from fidgeting, that her anxious energy transferred from her limbs to her face resulting in nearly every facial tic imaginable making an appearance. 

The conversation with Alex yesterday had run long as Kara’s sister produced an extensive list of horrifying acts the three friends could commit to get even with Mike and LYNX. Kara vetoed about seventy-five percent of the suggestions, she wanted to knock Mike down a few pegs, not give him a serious injury despite Alex affirming multiple times that she had a far better understanding of employing fireworks this time around. 

Whilst they devised their revenge, James phoned CatCo about what had happened prompting Cat Grant to immediately get in touch with the legal team which didn’t provide a very positive outlook. There was no clear evidence of theft, a virtual tour wasn’t a new idea, Winn’s work had used a lot of familiar coding ideas and it would appear LYNX were smart enough to make a few changes here and there to the base work to ensure it couldn’t be a direct copy. LYNX had also switched out a few of James’ pictures and the ones that James was positive were his, were of things all the media had taken pictures of. 

Cat Grant, however, wasn’t deterred and ordered legal to push forward regardless but nothing likely would come of it for months and it would probably be resolved out of court through a financial settlement. To the three CatCo reporters, by that point, it would be redundant anyway as the Theonia coverage would have long been over,

With everything going on and the need to rush their next interview, Kara was unable to update Alex on the catastrophe with the chef, especially with Winn and James hovering nearby, but she promised to let her know what happened over skype tomorrow. Kara communicated this commitment through a series of charades which only seemed to confuse Alex and resulted in Kara huffing out a breath, murmuring she would text her later with a pointed gaze

After their interview with the agricultural minister, James took point on transcribing the questions and answers whilst Kara helped add written descriptions and historical facts to the tour Winn had created to differentiate what CatCo offered in comparison to LYNX. The rest of the evening was spent strategizing their plan for tomorrow, deciding it would be for the best to try the Royal Observatory again as they could spend the entire time trying to get citizens to open up and Snapper wanted to delay the write up from yesterday so as not to saturate the site with Theonian content which also allowed the interview with M’gann to remain the top feature for longer. This delay gave them time to try again at getting accompanying quotes.

“Miss Danvers.”

Kara leapt a foot into the air, her heart hammering against her rib cage and adrenaline spreading through her veins at breakneck speed. She had been so preoccupied staring down one end of the hallway and trying to think of a way to get the Theonian people to open up which didn’t involve overt bribery using chocolate, that she had completely forgotten about the other end of the corridor.

Kara’s fist came whirling round on instinct in the exact attack manoeuvre her sister had taught her, which she had already used to devastating effect on Winn and Snapper weeks ago. 

Her punch was stopped in mid air by some of the fastest reactions Kara had ever witnessed.

The hand, now wrapped around her fist, gave a light, reassuring squeeze before letting her go, bringing Kara back to her senses with a jolt. In front of Kara, appearing just as pristine and put together as yesterday, was Captain Dunn. He was studying her intently like he had taken to doing when the opportunity arose, and outwardly appeared completely unphased by her attempts to give him a black eye. 

“Err… Captain… good morning.” Kara stuttered out, her face turning a blistering red, “Sorry about the… uh.... You know…” The Captain remained unreactive and for whatever reason Kara took this as a sign that the soldier’s short term memory was lacking and therefore mimed out punching for his benefit.

Captain Dunn’s brow furrowed and he pursed his lips so tightly as he watched the reporter attack an invisible enemy. Kara’s fists dropped, after a worrying length of time, and she quickly folded them over her chest to reduce her ability of causing an international incident or unprecedented levels of embarrassment. 

The Captain sighed in such a way that Kara could hear the ‘why me?’ that went with it. “How’s the stakeout going?”

The question, much like the soldier, seemed to come out of nowhere and Kara handled it with the same grace she had handled his unexpected arrival, “Stakeout? Pfft… What stakeout?” 

The Captain continued to stare at her with those steely eyes.

The facial tics that had taken up residence on Kara’s face were at full capacity now and there was a minor flicker of concern in the soldier’s expression. Kara’s arms dropped to her side and she deflated noticeably, it would appear accepting that she had been caught released all of her nervous energy. “Fine.” Kara muttered darkly.

The Captain nodded once, grateful for either an answer or the truth, she wasn’t sure. 

Silence settled over them and she hated the waiting for the reprimand that came with being caught, but the pause and the quiet allowed Kara to regain her faculties. The adrenaline running through her system filtered away and the total focus on what would happen to her if she got caught dissipated, allowing her usual empathy to take back control. 

The Captain hadn’t said anything but he hadn’t left either… he seemed unsure of himself. 

“Is everything okay, Captain?” Kara prompted gently.

The soldier shook his head ever so slightly as if to clear his mind, then asked bluntly, “Do you know much about rugby, Miss Danvers?”

Kara squinted at the Captain through her glasses with total perplexity, “Rugby?” She repeated dumbly.

“Yes, rugby.” 

Kara’s mouth opened and closed a few times, feeling as if she was being faced with a similar test to the ‘Miss Danvers or Ma’am’ debacle, “Err… not particularly, if I’m being honest.”

“Rugby is our national sport.” The Captain stated, his hardened stare ratcheting up in intensity.

Kara genuinely feared that the final straw before being dragged to face ‘Frank The Executioner’ who she was now on first name basis with due to the number of horrific daydreams he had a starring role in, was her general lack of sports knowledge. She now wished she had shared Alex’s enthusiasm for any of the sports she would declare she had a favourite team in. 

“The Skylarks are the National City team, they play at the stadium in the centre of the city.” The Captain continued, his tone heavier and laden with emphasis that Kara didn’t understand since she was too busy constructing ‘Frank The Executioner’s’ family tree in her head after feeling guilty that she had only ever presented him as the bad guy when he was just doing his job and doing it well.

“That’s nice….” Kara said slowly, the familiar deep crease appearing on her forehead.

“The stadium is worth a visit, wouldn’t you agree?” The Captain said, his lip twitching ever so slightly.

“Uh… yes.” Kara agreed, thinking agreeing with whatever the soldier suggested at this point was in her best interests.

“It’s meant to be sunny today, the perfect conditions to see the team practice…” Captain Dunn trailed off suggestively, leaning forward a small amount to emphasise his point. 

Kara was really beginning to worry about the Captain since he hadn’t blinked once since he started talking about rugby and his eyes must be really dry by now. “I’m sorry, what?” Kara squeaked.

The soldier, finally blinked, his gaze going soft as the he tilted his head to the side and scratched his chin thoughtfully. “I have been told that you are one of the most intelligent people I will ever meet.”

Kara froze, unsure how to react to such a compliment that seemed to come from out of nowhere, much like everything to do with this conversation.

“Who told you that?” She inquired curiously, unable to resist asking.

“An old friend.” The Captain murmured, a flicker of a smile appearing on the man’s face as he said those words, before he transitioned back into military mode: hands clasped behind his back, chest pushed forward, and a neutral expression. 

“I believe you have the capability to figure out what I’m suggesting…” The Captain trailed off pointedly. 

Kara swallowed thickly and ducked her head to avoid that penetrating stare; she did know what he was suggesting but yet again she was plagued by the infernal question of ‘why’. 

Did the Captain feel so strongly about rugby that he believed it to be a travesty that the people he was being asked to protect knew little to nothing about it?

Was ‘Frank The Executioner’ waiting for her at the stadium?

Was the soldier trying to help them, give them guidance?

Or was it  _ she _ ?

“But,” The Captain whispered drawing Kara’s gaze back up to focus on him, “it is, in all seriousness, entirely  _ your choice  _ about whether you wish to act on it.” He spoke with total sincerity and it did the trick in providing Kara some much needed comfort and security.

“I understand.” Kara nodded her head firmly.

“I’ll see you after breakfast, Miss Danvers.” Captain Dunn turned on his heel and marched away without a backward glance, leaving Kara to her stakeout without a single reprimand and with a decision to make. 

The boys appeared less than a minute later with a mission complete confirmation. The three of them then scuttled back to their rooms, collected their belongings for the day and headed to the dining hall for breakfast. Kara’s appetite had returned to its fullest and she was taking advantage of them being early to load up on as much food as humanly possible. They all kept an eager lookout on the entrance, waiting to see if their revenge was successful.

It was after three pancakes, two omelettes, a small plate of bacon, another pancake and a heaping of eggs that Kara felt a light prod of James’ elbow to get her attention followed by an excited whisper of, “Here he comes.”

Mike stormed into the dining hall, his charming smile completely absent to be replaced by a glare filled with such hatred that all the reporters on the verge of bursting out in laughter instantly stifled their giggles. Mike was dressed in his signature smart casual attire of burgundy chinos, a pressed designer shirt and shoes shined to dazzle. The only thing not in keeping with his model perfect presentation was his hair. His hair and stubble were styled perfectly to create the handsome, boyish charm, the only issue was that the normally brown hair was a vibrant, almost putrid green. 

Winn watched. Mike stamp by, with the most self-satisfied smirk Kara had ever seen, “Victory never looked so-” 

“Green?” Kara chirped in, fidgeting giddily in her seat, pleased with their success and wanting to be involved in the teasing.

Winn glanced at her with a pitying expression, reaching over to pat her arm in sympathy, “Aw… at least you tried.” Kara pouted heavily at that, whilst Winn gave her a fond smile before turning to James and asking pleadingly, “Please, tell me you got photos?”

James snorted, shaking his head in exasperation before using the exact response Winn had given when James had implied doubt in his abilities, “Ye of little faith…” James lifted the camera he had hidden by his side up and handed it over to Winn, who was making grabby hands for it, “Have a look for yourself.”

Winn snatched it up quickly, but Kara knew James trusted Winn implicitly with his camera since the tech wizard was the only person who truly understood the value behind the piece of equipment. “These are incredible.” Winn whistled out in amazement, angling the camera so that Kara could see the pictures he was skipping through. “I might make one of them my phone’s background.” Winn declared, pausing on a particular photo where Mike in his red trousers, green hair and childish sulk looked like a grumpy christmas elf.

Kara let her two friends revel in their victory, cheering when required, but the boys were so caught up in their achievement that they didn’t notice she was quieter than normal, allowing her mind to go over her conversation with the Captain and weigh up the choice presented to her. 

Admittedly, Kara had made her decision the moment after she had worked out what Captain Dunn was trying to tell her. 

She was going. 

She was too curious not to.

“Hey… “ Kara gently interrupted Winn’s post-prank breakdown and how they should have found a way to dye his skin green instead so that he fully reflected his literary equivalent, ‘The Wicked Witch of the West’. Both boys, recognising her unusual tentativeness went quiet without being asked and gave her their full attention, “So I was thinking… maybe…” Kara said the next part at high speed, going with the ‘rip the bandaid off’ approach, “we should go to the National City Stadium today…”

James tilted his head to the side, “Err... why?”

Kara took a deep breath, readying the ramble to be unleashed, “Well, using my extensive research into Theonian culture, if we look at page one hundred and thirty eight of what Winn lovingly calls my thesis-”

“Bored already.” Winn announced, throwing his head backwards dramatically to emphasise his statement, before shrugging and agreeing, “I’m in, if you stop reading aloud.”

Kara didn’t know whether to say thank you for his support or yell at him for his dismissal of the detailed explanation she had thought up on the spot. She decided to cover both bases by flashing Winn a pleased smile whilst also flicking his forehead with her middle finger. Winn winced and rubbed the red spot on his forehead, Kara ignored him to focus on James instead.

James shrugged as well and stated without hesitation as if Kara was asking him for the simplest thing in the world, “I trust you, let’s do it.”

Kara prayed to anyone listening that she was making the right decision and wouldn’t ruin the unconditional faith her friends had in her.

They finished breakfast quickly and headed to the atrium to find Sam and Captain Dunn in a hushed conversation by the entrance that they brought to a sudden end upon seeing the CatCo crew approaching. Kara didn’t need more than one guess to figure out their topic of conversation especially when Sam stepped forward and aimed her question directly at Kara instead of the three of them.  

“Plan for the day?” Sam asked, with her welcoming smile that Kara was now able to look past to see the apprehension in her eyes.

Kara cleared her throat, though her answer still came out uncertainly, “The... uh… stadium?”

“Good choice.” Sam declared, her smile easing back to her real one as she let out an almost imperceptible sigh of relief. Captain Dunn gestured for them to move out and Sam told them to have a good time, but as Kara made to pass by Sam, a hand was placed on her bicep to get her attention. Kara turned to face Sam who looked at her almost pleadingly as she leaned forward so only Kara would hear and whispered, “Can I just say… keep an open mind..”

“About rugby?” Kara checked, blinking in confusion at Sam.

Sam pursed her lips, hesitating before replying stiffly, “Yeah… rugby…” Sam leaned away, her hand moving off Kara’s arm to push forward another platter of delicious cupcakes, and give a light, pointed order of, “Take a guilt cupcake.”

Kara grabbed four, claiming they were for the entire team, Sam gave her a look that heavily implied she saw through the blatant lie but waved her away for the day with a light chuckle. As Kara had predicted, Captain Dunn turned down a cupcake which Kara scoffed down once she had finished her first one, James seeing the fire in her eyes wisely offered Kara his own, Winn made to take the cupcake Kara offered until he saw the minor nostril flare that indicated the harm that would befall him if he actually took Kara up on that offer.

Kara consumed all four cupcakes during the car journey to the stadium, her only regret being that she hadn’t taken more since they were probably the best cupcakes she had ever had.

The National City Stadium, home of ‘The Skylarks’, was a steel and glass coliseum with blue banners hung at various intervals depicting individual team members in action poses. The stadium was an awe-inspiring sight and Kara gaped up at it as their car pulled up to the very front entrance, where a broad chested, giant of a man in a pinstriped suit appeared to be waiting for them. The CatCo team shared a curious look between them as Captain Dunn opened the doors for them and they clambered out to greet the welcome party.

“CatCo media, right?” The large man asked with a broad grin, extending a terrifyingly huge hand out for them to shake.

“Err… yes.” James answered for them, bouncing up and down with the force of the man’s exuberant handshake. “Were you expecting us?”

“Of course.” The man replied eagerly, taking them all in as if they were guests of honour, “Please follow me and we can begin the tour.” He gestured with a sweep of his arm to the looming building behind them and began to lead them inside.

“What’s going on?” Winn murmured under his breath to his two friends that were looking as surprised and perplexed as he did.

Kara bit her tongue keeping her suspicions, and the weird uptick to her heart rate that went with the green-eyed woman she suspected to be the main cause, to herself.

“I have no idea, but I say we go with it for now.” James whispered back, placing a hand on either of his friends’ shoulders to push them forward when he noticed Captain Dunn had moved ahead and was nodding for them to keep up.

It took the three of them an embarrassing forty five minutes of the tour to figure out exactly who their tour guide was. 

Ian Haisley, manager of the Skylarks, was giving them a personal tour of the entire facility, taking time to explain the rigorous training programme and the actual sport when he realised how limited their knowledge was. Kara nodded along to the best of her ability, trying to get as excited about the state of the art gym as James or the sports analysis employed by the club as Winn. Kara even caught Captain Dunn listening eagerly with secretive childlike wonder when Mr Haisley revealed a few anecdotes about the players revealing how big a fan the blank faced soldier probably was.

By the end of the tour James was converted to seeing the greatness of rugby whilst Winn still didn’t overly see the appeal but also liked to show enthusiasm whenever James rarely indulged in a hobby or passion. The final part of the tour took place in a multipurpose sports hall and involved one of the coaches offering to take the CatCo team through a few set pieces, showing them how to tackle and throw the ball. James jumped at the chance, Winn paled but was pulled forward by his friend before he had a chance to complain even their guardian finally lost his battle with hiding his excitement and stepped forward quicker than was typical for his military role. Kara was dressed in a yellow sundress and slightly heeled shoes, so wasn’t dressed to really get involved, the coach though insisted, much to her delight, that she throw the rugby ball around and get a feel for the game regardless. Kara took to the technique far quicker than her colleagues but bowed out for the tackling and running around. She fell onto a bench lining one side of the room where the team presumably rested between drills, and started to get a jumpstart on her note taking. 

Mr Haisley wandered over to her after watching Winn fail to receive a throw from James a couple of times and asked if he could join her with a polite nod of his head and by pointing at the spot next to her. Kara smiled widely at the request, adoring how the large, looming man was respectful and courteous at all opportunities. 

“Would you be interested in seeing the trophy room whilst your colleagues get run ragged by the coach?” Mr Haisley inquired with a cheery smile between big red cheeks that Kara couldn’t bring herself to say no to because he definitely looked like a younger version of Santa Claus. 

“Yeah, that sounds good.” Kara agreed, showing her enthusiasm for the kind suggestion by decisively putting away her notepad and pen.

“This way, please.” The rugby manager got to his feet and held out a hand to help Kara to her feet, before leading her away just as James got tackled brutally to the ground by Winn who let out a whoop of victory.

Kara had forgotten over the course of the tour her original suspicions.

She had been so caught up in her friends’, and Captain Dunn’s, enthusiasm and excitement that she had lost sight of what, or should she say who, probably organised all of this for them.

She remembered, however, the moment they approached the set of double doors flanked by two royal guards. 

Kara’s heart plummeted and fluttered in fear and anticipation. 

Mr Haisley gave her an encouraging smile and nodded for her to go inside, this obviously being the place where they parted.

Kara stared at the doors in front of her, knowing exactly who was waiting for her on the other side and trying to work out if she actually wanted to see her. 

Did she really want to be confronted by that cold, distant woman?

Did she really want her heart and self-esteem to take another unwarranted beating?

Did she really want to be disappointed when it wasn’t a casually dressed, slouching angel waiting for her on the other side?

What Kara really wanted was for all her fears and worries to be proven wrong. It was that secret, ever hopeful desire that provided her with enough courage to take a deep breath and push forward through the double doors.

The trophy room consisted of a glass cases filled with glittering monuments of victory, framed pictures, leather couches were placed around the room encouraging people to stay and admire the contents whilst the light blue walls were covered with royal blue banners that were dedicated to years when the Skylarks had won the national league. 

The entire room, though, fell away and Kara barely even registered the door clicking closed behind her as she was far too occupied with reprimanding her heart for skipping a beat at the sight before her. 

The Queen was pacing back and forth and Kara was convinced she could see a track in the blue carpet were the Queen had been wearing it away with her heeled, heavy steps. The Queen was dressed in a knee length, wrap-around, emerald dress that Kara was convinced made her green eyes just as vibrant as they used to be when reflecting the light of the fire warming the kitchen they used to meet in. The Queen was wringing her hands together nervously and her lips were moving as if muttering a speech under her breath, but she instantly froze upon seeing Kara. Her entire body tensed up, her green eyes went wide and her moving jaw snapped shut as she stared at Kara as if she was the last thing she expected to see. 

Kara hated how she felt herself lighting up at the adorable nervousness present in the woman in front of her. She forced herself to remember the venom of the Queen’s words and the fury burning in her eyes. 

Kara pursed her lips, dipped into only a slightly unbalanced curtsey, averted her eyes from the pleading green ones to look at the ground at curtly said, “Your majesty.”

“Kara. You don’t-... please, stand up…” The Queen’s voice was cracked and stuttering, and Kara could hear the wince that had followed her own greeting.

“At once, your majesty.” Kara replied, lifting herself up and only allowing herself to glance up at the raven haired woman once she felt like she had suitably schooled her features. 

The Queen was halfway through stepping forward, her hands were half raised from by her sides as if wanting to reach out and touch Kara. Kara regretted her terse words as she watched the Queen’s hands quickly tried to hide their movement by being clasped in front of her body to prevent further attempts to connect with Kara. The Queen bit her lip and nodded to herself in resignation, “I’m sure you figured out this was coming.”

Kara shrugged, unable to make the action as dismissive as she had originally planned, finding herself softening ever so slightly to this meeker version of the Queen. “I had my suspicions. What I don’t understand is why, your majesty?” Kara asked, emphasising the ‘your majesty’, whilst she crossed her arms protectively over her chest.

“Please don’t-...” The Queen’s whispered plea sounded on the edge of begging and she accompanied this with a timid step forward, closing the large distance between them ever so slightly. The Queen looked at her beseechingly, “I wanted to apologise but before that… I think we should actually introduce ourselves.”

Kara shifted on her feet, dropping her gaze back to the floor, muttering disappointedly, “I already know who you are, your majesty.”

“Yes, you do… but I don’t think you realise that.” The Queen’s tone was soft and inviting enough to encourage Kara to look up and find that caring, concerned expression that she had been deprived of seeing for the last couple of days. It was the chef in Queen’s clothing that took a deep breath and forced a bright smile, flashing that rare one dimple, “Hello, my name is Lena Luthor. I love cooking, I have never had the good fortune to read a book I can’t put down and I can’t bake souffles,” Lena followed this with a minor flinch and a barely audible addition of. ”I have no idea why, they should be so simple.”

Kara swallowed thickly, not ready to relinquish the hurt the Queen had inflicted on her without an actual apology, “Kara Danvers, bumbling, doting innocent - no, wait - I’m actually a vulture in disguise.”

Lena winced and mumbled, “Okay, I deserved that.”

“Uh huh.” Kara hummed in agreement, pushing down the twitch at the corner of her mouth that indicated the desire to smile at the green eyed woman’s shy awkwardness.

“I’m sorry.” The apology came quick, and Kara was so taken aback by the earnest statement that she almost didn’t hear the rushed speech that followed, “I don’t expect you to forgive me, especially not after how I treated you. That was inexcusable even if you had done the things I accused you of.”

“Look-” Kara began, finding her voice all of a sudden, her heart thumping with joy whilst her stomach felt tight and wobbly with the expectation that the floor would fall out from under her at any second now. 

“Please, let me…” Lena continued, speaking over Kara before she stopped all of a sudden, her expression shocked and filled with guilt, “God, I’m doing the exact same thing I did last time. I’m not letting you speak. Why do I keep doing this?” Lena aimed the question at herself, gesturing widely in annoyance at her own actions. Kara hid the snort of amusement as best she could but Lena must still have heard it as she gave Kara a fluttering smile as she took another step forward and said, “Please, go ahead.”

Kara’s desire to escape before the rug was tugged out from under her feet diminished significantly as a flicker of that security and safety that she used to feel in the chef’s presence came to life, “Just say what you’ve got to say.” Kara encouraged with a restrained smile.

“Right... thank you.” Lena exhaled out her gratitude, blushing with delight and surprise as Kara gave her a chance to say the speech she had obviously planned, “The second after you left I wanted to say sorry… but I didn’t know how…” Lena cleared her throat, and it was clear that what she was about to confess made her feel uncomfortable, vulnerable even; Kara’s tightly crossed arms loosened their tight grip in response. “One of my biggest faults is that I don’t like people seeing me as fallible. I haven’t been allowed to make a mistake for years now… that’s kind of why I only cook at night, no one will ever know if I get it wrong… it’s the only chance I have to be just  _ me _ .” Lena glanced away from Kara, her gaze heavy with a deep grief that fractured Kara’s heart far worse than the scared insults the Queen had thrown at her. “Anyway,” Lena’s tone became lighter, a personal attempt to pull herself away from whatever darkness she had been reliving, “I got some incredible advice from my top advisor, who told me I should show you that I won’t make the same mistake again.”

Kara’s arms dropped fully out of their defensive crossed position and she tilted her head to the side, “And how do you plan to do that?”

Lena pursed her lips, obviously worried that whatever she was about to be say next would undo the breakthrough she had clearly had with Kara, “This is going to sound like I’m making excuses, but I need to explain a few things first.”

“I’m listening.” Kara replied genuinely, willing to take a chance on Lena. 

Green eyes shone brighter than Kara had ever seen them and she couldn’t stop herself from smiling in return. 

“I’ve been Queen for just over two years now, but before that I was the rebel princess, a symbol for overthrowing my brother.” Lena spoke more confidently, her usual self-assuredness coming back now that Kara was actually hearing her out. “I haven’t been Lena for over five years, except with a handful of people and most of them I had to give up in a lot of ways when I became Queen. People have gotten glimpses of who I really am over the years, and apart from that original handful, they’ve all tried to take advantage of or hurt me with what they know.” 

Kara’s heart stuttered uncomfortably at that admission and the blaring truth of it. 

‘How many people had hurt her?’, Kara wondered thinking back to that flash of hurt she had seen slip through Lena’s mask when she had first found out Kara was a journalist.

How many had broken her trust?

How many had it taken for Lena to feel like she had to bury herself behind her crown?

Kara hoped they had gotten their comeuppance but something in the way Lena had dismissed her and yet had done nothing to make her stay at the Palace unpleasant made Kara heavily doubt that any revenge or justice had ever taken place.

Lena intuitively picked up on Kara’s inner thoughts and turmoil because she took another step forward, finally putting her within arms length and emphasised her next declaration to make sure Kara heard and took in what she was saying.

“I swear this isn’t me trying to get your sympathy after what I did, I just wanted you to understand that it had nothing to do with  _ you _ .  _ You  _ did nothing wrong and gave me absolutely no reason to doubt you. This is all on me.” Every self-doubt that had been plaguing her since her meeting with the Queen disappeared upon hearing Lena’s earnestness. “You saw Lena those two nights. You met the real me, not just a tiny slither but the whole damn thing. And when I realised you were a journalist, after presuming you were a Palace worker, I panicked.” Kara blinked at her in surprise, despite remembering how flustered the chef got when her souffle failures were about to be discovered. “You saw everything and I assumed you would hurt me with that.” 

“So you hurt me first.” Kara guessed sadly but with a far more understanding undercurrent to her words now.

“Yes.” Lena choked out quietly in agreement, “I assumed I couldn’t trust you. So now I intend to show you that I won’t make the same mistake again.” Lena spoke decisively and with fervour, a fiery passion and determination appearing in her eyes, “I am showing you Lena, I’m showing you that I can screw up and make mistakes like everyone else but more importantly I am going to trust you with the thing I love most in this world.”

Kara flushed bright red under the attention of Lena’s ardent commitment to making things right with her. She futilely fiddled with her glasses to hide her the blush as she murmured, “And what’s that?”

Lena inhaled sharply and reached out to hesitantly, giving Kara all the time in world to refuse her touch, take Kara’s hand. Lena’s fingers made contact with Kara’s skin and her face broke out into a pleased and thankful one-dimpled smile. Kara almost didn’t hear Lena’s answer when she was faced with a real Lena Luthor smile and the warm, buzz of electricity racing through her from their point of contact, “My people.”

Five minutes later, the two women, accompanied by at least two visible soldiers, were walking into the sports hall the manager had led Kara out of and where four men drenched heavily in sweat were recovering from their intense workout. James and Winn were slumped on the floor, rubbing their aching, bruised muscles and letting out grunts of pain, whilst Captain Dunn and the coach looked none the worse for wear except for the more pant-like breaths they let out than normal. 

The Captain and coach noticed the women’s arrivals first, instantly bowing deeply and Lena gave them a warm smile as she waved her hand for them to straighten up.

Kara fidgeted nervously on the spot, side-eyeing Lena regularly and unsubtly, waiting for Lena to make her presence known to her oblivious friends and fearing a reprisal for their lack of immediate acknowledgement. Lena, who had let go of her hand upon leaving the trophy room shot her a reassuring smile and Kara forced out a deep breath to get control of a nervousness she could only most closely relate to the time she introduced her high school boyfriend to Alex and Eliza. Kara tried to ignore the obvious meaning that came with such a parallel.  

Winn let out a loud groan of pain, throwing his head back to emphasise his suffering but the sudden movement allowed him to catch a glimpse of the two women watching him and James. Winn went pale rapidly as he recognised who was standing beside Kara watching him with an amused smirk. Winn’s mouth opened and closed rapidly as he nudged the collapsed form of James with his elbow harshly.

“That’s… that’s…”, Winn stuttered in shock. 

James, finally, looked up with an irritated expression, obviously on the verge of snapping at Winn for digging into his not yet visible bruises, when his face went equally slack upon making eye contact with Lena.

James was on his feet faster than Kara thought humanly possible and hoisting Winn up like he weighed nothing before placing a hand on the tech nerd’s back to shove him into a bow at the same time as himself. Kara threw a hand over the lower half of her face to stifle the snort of laughter at her friends’ actions. Lena, however, strolled forward, without pause, extending a hand for them to shake alongside a light, unworried smile.

“Mr Olsen, Mr Schott,” Lena greeted and Kara had to admit she was impressed Lena had taken the time to look up her friends’ names, “it would appear good fortune has led to our meeting.”

“She knows our names.” Winn whispered in awe to James out of the other side of his mouth as they both rose up out of their bows. 

James ignored Winn to focus on the Queen, he shook her hand and tried to regain some of his usual cool and professional demeanour, not to much success Kara noted by the minor tremor to his hand and the creepily wide smile on his face. “Your majesty, it’s an honour.”

“The honour is all mine.” Lena responded sincerely, not drawing attention to the reporters’ nerves or awkwardness thus preventing them from becoming embarrassed. “The photos you took of my capital were outstanding, you really captured what I love most about it in your pictures.”

James and Winn blinked in shock whilst Kara tried to hide the swoon that came with Lena’s earnest compliment.

Kara couldn’t quite fathom that the Queen of Theonia had gone out of her way to learn about all the reporters, or (and this thought made Kara’s heart flutter) to learn about the people important to the blonde.

“Thank you, your majesty.” James gratefully said once he remembered how to speak.

Lena accepted the thanks with a nod before turning to give Winn her full attention; the tech master twitched on the spot wanting to be obscured from view by ducking behind James.

Lena bowed her head in deference, “And I believe I owe you a debt of gratitude, Mr Schott.”

“Wh-... uh… me?” Winn spluttered, his hands flapping wildly, “I think you may have me confused with someone else, your majesty.”

“You are the Mr Schott who set up a wifi network and allowed your fellow reporters access, are you not?” The Queen retorted with a quirked eyebrow.

“Well... yes, your majesty.” Winn slowly agreed.

Lena held out a hand for Winn to shake, and when he finally gathered the nerve to take it, she stared him directly in the eye to emphasise the following, “Thank you, Mr Schott.”

“Pfft… it was nothing, your majesty… all in a day’s work.” Winn flicked a hand, trying to appear nonplussed by the Queen’s gratitude but failing epically as he turned a bright red. 

Kara adored that Lena had taken the time to talk to her friends, she was much less pleased to see the heart eyes the boys were sending Lena’s way. That minor irritation vanished, however, when Lena looked back at Kara with twinkling green eyes filled with care that were checking to see if the blonde was happy and still comfortable with her presence.

Reassured Kara didn’t want her to leave just yet, Lena looked between the three reporters hopefully, “Whilst you’re all here, I must take this opportunity to introduce you to the team.” She gestured to Mr Haisley who had appeared in the doorway and he bowed deeply before holding the doors to the hall open ready to lead the way. Lena shot Kara a wink as she strolled forward and revealed to the group, “I’m not allowed to have favourites but the Skylarks do hold a special place in my heart.”

“That sounds wonderful, your majesty.” James declared almost breathless with admiration. James glanced over at the blonde who hadn’t said a word so far, “Don’t you think, Kara?”

“Wonderful.” Kara repeated sincerely, earning her another viewing of, her re-cemented favourite sight of all time, a one-dimpled smile.

Mr Haisley and Lena led the CatCo representatives through the long corridors, flanked by the combined security team which Captain Dunn took charge of without any complaint from the other soldiers. 

Kara maintained her relative quietness for the walk, not trusting her ability to hide her growing feelings under the scrutiny of her friends despite their own infatuations being glaringly obvious. James, Lena, Mr Haisley and occasionally Captain Dunn shouldered the majority of the conversation, the main topic being the Skylarks incredible victory run last year. Lena had attended the final and confessed to being unable to stop herself from cheering when the Skylarks made a winning try in the last five minutes of the game. Winn followed along like a lovesick puppy and Kara would have teased the tech nerd were it not for the fact that whenever Lena glanced back to check up on her, she turned such an illuminating red that if she ever failed at being a journalist she would make a particularly effective stop sign.  

Silence settled over the group the moment daylight appeared and as Kara stepped onto the rugby pitch, she couldn’t help missing Alex, knowing how much this entire day would have meant to her sports enthusiast sister. She was thankful to see James was taking numerous photos and Kara made a mental note to ask if she could send them to Alex later.

Running across the pitch in mismatched workout gear was an array of men, some huge and looming like Mr Haisley whilst others were closer in height to Winn but seemed to have ungodly speed which Kara had only ever witnessed at track meets. A blonde haired player who had been running a drill spotted the group and more importantly Lena, he immediately called the exercise to a halt and gathered the team together, all of them lining up and bowing deeply on instinct as if it was something they did regularly.

“Your majesty.” The entire Skylark team intoned once Lena had walked close enough to hear them.

“Hello, everyone.” Lena greeted with a warm tone of familiarity, as she indicated for them all to rise up out of their deferential bows. “How goes practice for the upcoming season? 

“Good, your majesty.” The blonde player answered with a gentle smile, Kara assumed him to be the team leader as the rest of the team looked to him to be the speaker. The player was mid-height when compared to the rest of the team, his hair was sandy and long, being held back from his face by a white band, his face was stubbly and rounded, and he had chocolate brown eyes exuding friendliness. 

“Do you think you can hold on to the title this year?” Lena inquired, crossing her arms and scrutinising the team closely with a hardened gaze. None of the players blinked at the unnecessarily firm tone that Kara thought was a bit harsh until she heard Lena speak again and understood this to be a standard rapport. “I don’t think I can suffer the teasing from my chief of staff if you let the Reignhold Lions take it from you.”

“We won’t let that happen, your majesty.” The blonde player assured as the team chuckled and nudged each other in playfully.

“That’s what I like to hear.” Lena asserted with a victorious smirk, she then turned to the CatCo team and invited them to come forward, “Allow me to introduce, James Olsen, Winn Schott and Kara Danvers. They are american journalists but don’t hold that against them, by far their worst trait is their limited appreciation for the greatest sport of all time.”

The Skylarks let out loud groans and good natured boos at the last statement but Kara and her friends merely laughed and ducked their heads in over the top shame. 

Lena waited for the sound to settle before gesturing at the players in turn to introduce them, starting with the blonde team leader, “This is Daniel Kosta, the Skylark’s team captain and scrum half. Though he may be one of the best rugby players in the country, his heart and greatest ability lies with the cello. I have been trying to convince him for years now to give up rugby and join the royal orchestra but he seems to be impervious to my demands.” 

Daniel Kosta, secret music prodigy let out a full bellied laugh but didn’t deny any of the facts Lena presented.

When Lena had stated the thing she loved the most was her people, Kara had presumed Lena was honest in that declaration but she had also assumed Lena had meant it in the same way Kara loved potstickers. 

But she hadn’t. 

She had meant it in the way Kara loved Alex. 

With her whole heart. With everything. Unconditionally.

Kara watched as Lena introduced every player by name and gave an anecdote to go with each of them, changing her tone and expression to suit the Theonian’s personality. She was loud and almost boisterous with some, quiet and soft-spoken with others. She took pride in knowing her subjects, her smile and eyes were positively luminescent whenever she managed to pull forth a laugh or a grin.

It wasn’t until Lena was reciting the full back’s children’s names without needing even a moment to pause that Kara fully realised how  _ giant  _ a deal it was for Lena to be doing this. 

To be trusting Kara with her people. 

Lena was putting her name, reputation and the adoration she had gathered through hard work and commitment on the line to apologise to an american journalist, who in the grand scheme of things Lena actually knew very little about. 

Comprehension of this caused Kara’s breath to come out in a stutter and for the hurt Lena had inflicted to fully heal over, encouraging her heart to expand in size.  

“The Skylarks are some of the bravest and most selfless people I have ever met. They are nothing less than national heroes.” Lena asserted upon finishing her round of introductions.

“Your majesty, that’s hardly true.” Daniel humbly refuted, with what would appear to be an uncharacteristic shyness for such a large man but, from how Lena had introduced him, Kara now recognised this to be perfectly in-keeping with his personality.

“I and many residents of this fine city would beg to differ.” Lena said, arching an eyebrow, playfully daring the team to argue back.

Kara looked between Lena, who was shining with pride whenever she looked at the players, and the team themselves, who all seemed to glow at the compliment. The journalist instantly sensed a story and couldn’t stop herself from asking, “What happened… err… your majesty?” Though, Lena had made it clear she wanted Kara to refer to her by her first name, Kara wasn’t dense enough to think that applied in public as well.

“Well… Daniel, you tell the story far better than I, would you feel comfortable sharing it?” Lena shifted the responsibility of storytelling to Daniel with ease providing CatCo with an opportunity like no other, “I would like our rugby players’ reputation to precede them before we send a team to win the world cup.”

“Ahhh… there it is.” Daniel called out gleefully, “The real reason you wanted us to join the rest of the world, your majesty.”

“Guilty as charged.” Lena held up her hands in surrender, before gesturing to Kara to come closer, “Daniel?” Lena requested.

Daniel rolled his eyes as his teammates shoved him forward, cheering out his name as he stepped up to the role of storyteller, “The story is nowhere near as impressive as her majesty has undoubtedly led you to believe.”

Kara pulled out her notebook and gave the rugby player, who nodded his consent to her recording their conversation, a bright smile. “I would still love to hear it anyway.”

During one of the more destructive riots and military crackdowns that overtook the city, the Skylarks had been training at the stadium. They heard the sounds of violence and people in distress, without any thought to their own safety, the entire team ventured out into the streets, finding as many innocents and those that needed aid as possible and brought them to the stadium where they could be sheltered and protected. The team received numerous injuries for their efforts and were out searching for people all day and for most of the night, carrying injured citizens despite their exhaustion for hours without a single complaint. 

Kara, James and Winn gathered as many stories as possible from the players. She made sure to get quotes regarding their excitement about getting involved in the international rugby scene and some anecdotes about their lives and rugby to counterbalance the heavier tales. Lena excused herself to speak with Mr Haisley and stand on the sidelines, allowing CatCo unimpeded access to the rugby team, and though, Lena appeared fully occupied, whenever Kara managed to peek over at the raven haired woman, a smile was always waiting to be directed her way. 

By mid afternoon, the reporters wrapped up so the team could get back to training, and Kara was already eager to get back to the Palace to begin writing. She even had a title for her next article: ‘An introduction to National City’s Heroes’. 

Lena was still standing on the sidelines, waiting for them to finish. James and Winn were quick to express their deepest gratitude for what Lena had done, Kara hung back murmuring her thanks quietly to avoid bringing attention to the deep blush spreading her across her cheeks when green eyes rested upon her.

Lena bid them farewell and wished them the best for the rest of their stay whilst Captain Dunn rounded them up and began to lead them back to the car. Kara’s heart sank upon realising she had missed her opportunity to talk to Lena one on one again. 

She wanted to ask if they could see eachother again. 

If she could see  _ Lena  _ again. 

Would Lena be in the kitchen or was this merely an apology? 

Did Lena merely want to make amends with no further interest in being friends?

Was this is it?

Kara had been granted insight into the real Lena and found her to be more beautiful, earnest, kind and witty than the chef who had no name. And now… was this is it?

No more?

Never ag-

“Kara.” Lena whispered, placing her hand on Kara’s forearm in a light request for her to pause. James and Winn carried on walking oblivious to the blonde’s pause and Kara would be damned if she didn’t take this opportunity to arrange to see Lena again.

“I have a massive craving for a tortellini so good it would make a grown man cry.” Kara murmured, her blue eyes pleading for Lena to accept, “Do you know somewhere I can get such a meal… at say, I don’t know… ten-thirty tonight?”

Lena’s face lit up and she nodded once decisively, “I know just the place.”


	9. An Arrangement is Made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I had this fic all planned out before I started, I have taken some time to fully plan out in more detail the next eight or so chapters this past week (go me!), and I was convinced this fic wouldn't be overly long in the build up.
> 
> Turns out I didn't really account for my writing style making 'moments' so long. 
> 
> So this fic is a lot longer than I originally anticipated despite the fact I know the entire plot. 
> 
> Therefore, I am adding the tag 'slowburn' and I feel like I'm justified to add it when we are over 40000 words in and I know they're not going to kiss for at least a few more chapters. 
> 
> But just to reassure people, half this fic is them engaged. It will be so unbelievably fluffy, I swear.. you know with the odd bit of angst thrown in to tug at your heart strings. 
> 
> Alright, anyway on with the show...

Kara squinted through her glasses at her reflection in the full length mirror that was tucked away in the corner of her single-bed room. She looked exactly the same as she had the first night she had fallen backwards into the kitchen and the night after that when she had returned only to be greeted with an array of burnt souffles. Her long, comfy blue pyjamas still had an ever so light scent of those charred desserts to them and Kara barely resisted rubbing her nose along the collar to breath in the now reassuring scent.

Kara looked exactly the same.

Same blue pyjamas.

Same hair thrown into a ponytail.

Same thick glasses.

No makeup.

Issue was she was now distinctly aware that she was going to see a Queen… actually that wasn’t the problem… she was now aware she was going to see someone she had a crush on. Someone she had voiced to her sister that she was  _ interested _ in, which for Kara was rare. She had accepted that her feelings for Lena were romantic. And with that acceptance came the acute awareness that she wanted to be seen as attractive, alluring, cute, sexy… 

And in Kara’s rapidly spiralling and panicking mind none of those descriptors encapsulated how she currently looked. 

Long blue pyjamas. Visibly dark circles under her eyes. Thick glasses with finger smudges covering the lenses. Makeup free face allowing every spot and blemish to stand out. And to top it all of her messy, greasy hair which could definitely do with a wash to remove the sweat that had seeped in thanks to standing on a field under the unrelenting sun for hours on end followed by running around almost non-stop to get their ‘National City Heroes’ story written and sent to Snapper to go live by tomorrow. 

Kara bit her lip and stared helplessly into the mirror, trying to decide if her almost identical pair of pyjamas, except for them being red instead of blue, would make her look better when her laptop began to blare out the skype call ringtone. Kara let out a sigh, shaking away her thoughts as she walked over and perched on the edge of the bed, pulling the laptop towards her and accepting the call with a quick click.  

“Okay, tell me everything!” Alex yelled the second the call connected, her face taking over the majority of the screen as she eagerly leaned forward. Her eyes were bright and her smile wide in joyful anticipation.

Kara chuckled at her sister’s uncommon display of enthusiasm, “Don't worry, your advice worked great.” She reassured with a wave of her hand before letting out a deep sigh of enjoyment, “It was so  _ satisfying _ , you know?”

Alex leaned back in her chair with a minor grimace and wrinkled nose, “Ugh..  Kara I really don't need to know how  _ satisfying _ it was…”

Kara’s brow furrowed and she tilted her head curiously to the side at Alex’s reaction. “Huh? Oh, okay.” She shrugged off Alex’s reaction, realising her sister probably wanted the photos she had fervently requested at the end of their prank strategy meeting. “Well, I have pictures so you can see for yourself.” Kara declared proudly. 

Alex’s jaw dropped and her face went a sickly pale colour, “PICTURES!” Alex shouted, and Kara winced at the sudden loud volume. “Why on earth would I want to see pictures of that?!”

“What? Why wouldn't you?” Kara spluttered out in confusion. “It was your idea.”

The older sister, covered her face with her hands and groaned painfully, “My idea?!” Alex dropped her hands away from her face revealing a pained expression, “I said go for it, not jump her and make a sex tape to horrify me with!”

Kara’s face went blank as her mind retraced their conversation so far, everything clicking into place. “No! No! No!” Kara shouted, a blistering heat of embarrassment sweeping through her. “Pictures of the prank! Pictures of Mike with green hair!” Kara cringed, falling forwards to bury her face into the duvet she was sat on, and mumbling inanely, “Ugh..  Why… just.. Ugh… gross!”

Alex exhaled deeply in relief, “Oh, thank god…”

“I can’t believe you thought-”, Kara whined into the soft bedding.

“Hey,” Alex called out sharply causing Kara to turn her head ever so slightly to the side so she could see that her sister had settled back down and was rolling her eyes at both of their dramatics, “I thought it would be obvious that I would prioritise your happiness over a prank.” Kara lifted her face up and met her sister’s earnest brown eyes. “Of course, I want to hear about your revenge but... I care far more about my sister’s heart than anything else.” Alex said sincerely, shaking her head in exasperation intermingled with a fondness reserved only for her little sister.

Kara beamed shyly at the honest affection, sitting back up and pulling the laptop onto her crossed legs as it was the closest she could get to hugging her gruff sister at that moment in time.

Alex smiled gently and lifted her eyebrows expectantly as she asked, “So…. How did it go?”

Kara slumped ever so slightly, unsure how to answer, “It didn't quite... go…” She trailed off, gnawing at her bottom lip thoughtfully.

Alex crossed her arms over her chest and pursed her lips tightly, “Did she reject you? Did she hurt you? Do I need to come over there and show that chef the secondary, and far more deadly, use of a frying pan?

Kara’s mind, as it had often come to do during her time in Theonia, imagined the worst possible scenario with her now regular co-star Frank the Executioner. Kara imagined Alex flying a biplane to Theonia, lying in wait with a frying pan in the the Queen’s kitchen only to be tackled by a whole battalion of royal guards who would drag her to the dungeons where Frank was waiting impatiently to meet the rest of the Danvers family.

For the second time in their already short conversation Kara rushed to correct a misunderstanding, this time in the form of a stuttering level four ramble, “No… well, she kind of did but she really didn’t... so… no… See we just had a misunderstanding but it's all sorted out now, I promise.” Alex’s harsh expression softened and the corner of her mouth twitched with the desire to laugh as Kara got distracted with what, she was worried, would become one of her favourite topics, “She… uh..  She was actually, really sweet.” Kara sighed dreamily reliving her day from the moment she had walked into the trophy room to see Lena pacing nervously, “I mean she did this whole thing… this whole, incredible wonderful thing and… Alex…” Kara paused and stared at Alex intensely, hoping desperately that her sister understood the significance of what she was about to say, “Alex, she made herself  _ vulnerable _ . She was scared and she… she was just…” Kara’s jaw opened and closed but the words just wouldn’t come anymore, 

Alex shook her head in genuine disbelief, “God, it's disgusting how absolutely smitten you are.”

“I'm not smitten.” Kara huffed out, flushing brightly with embarrassment.

“Says the girl, who's currently blushing a deeper red than when she got asked to prom.” Alex remarked, able to see through her sister’s poorly executed deception in a heartbeat. “Okay, so are you making a move tonight?” Alex asked bluntly, never one for tact.

Kara swallowed thickly and her hands flew to fidget with her glasses, “Umm… I don't…. No… I'm not.” She admitted with a quiet whisper once she got control of her words.

Alex didn’t say anything for a long moment, and Kara squirmed uncomfortably under her sister’s intense scrutiny. “Why not? You clearly like her.” Alex eventually said, her voice a mix of curiosity and concern.

Kara licked her lips, the wrinkle taking pride of place on her forehead as she struggled with giving a clear answer as opposed to a full on ramble. “Exactly. I like her but… I don't really know her… like not really… not like the details.” 

Kara remembered how Lena had declared that she had shown Kara her real self, and though that memory warmed her entire being, she couldn’t help but listen to the scared whispers which kept reminding her how she hadn't even known Lena’s name until two days ago. She hadn’t known Lena was Queen, or that she had a brother… hell she still didn’t even know what her favourite colour was. She had seen Lena’s one-dimpled smile, she had seen Lena coy, jokey and confident and had even seen her vulnerable but Kara didn’t actually  _ know  _ her.  

Kara shook her head trying to free herself of the overwhelming desire to spend hours (days) learning every little thing she could about Lena. Kara was a curious person by nature with an overwhelming thirst for knowledge, but never had she wanted so desperately to become an expert in one particular field. 

“You know the whole point of dating is getting to know someone, right?” Alex stated with a tone that conveyed ‘duh’.

“Yes… but…” Kara stammered out weakly.

“But?” Alex prompted.

Kara took a deep breath in and replied earnestly, “I think she wants a friend more than anything… she doesn’t… I don’t think she has a lot of people who are just there for  _ her _ .” 

An unexplainable fury still simmered below the surface whenever she thought back to how many people had probably taken advantage of Lena and her big heart. How many people who had only ever wanted to get to know her for the crown she wore or her royal heritage rather than her sense of humour and compassion. Lena had gone out of her way to apologise, overcoming her own fears and what Kara presumed, past hurts to earn forgiveness and trust of someone she hardly knew. To take that risk, to put herself on the line like that Kara knew was momentous. She didn’t want to ever make Lena regret taking that chance on her if Kara forced romantic feelings on her that Lena didn’t reciprocate. 

Lena needed… deserved  a friend first and foremost.  

“I don’t want her to feel pressured to say she feels something when she doesn’t. I don’t want to be one of those people who wants something from her, you know?” Kara explained, almost desperate for her big sister to understand.

Alex let out a heavy sigh, shaking her head in disappointment, “Kara, that’s really sweet and I just want to preface this next part with: you are an intelligent, stunning, kind, successful woman with the most empathetic heart I have ever seen.” Kara blinked rapidly in surprise and confusion as Alex listed out the compliments with ease whilst her face wrinkled with frustration and annoyance in contrast. “But you are a total idiot when it comes to your own love life.” Alex stated bluntly, “I would say there’s a good chance this woman could declare she wants you naked in her bed and you would still see it as a friendly gesture.”

Kara turned bright red and her brain went through a meltdown as her imagination ran wild with the scenario Alex had painted for her. 

“That’s not true.” Kara choked out, trying to desperately to focus on the conversation and not the very distracting images playing out in her mind’s eye.

“Yes it is.” Alex said completely unimpressed with her sister’s complete failure at anything resembling self control. “You didn’t even realise you were dating Brian until a year into the relationship.”

“Pfft… that’s not… do you always have to throw that me?” Kara squawked unhappily remembering the awkwardness that had taken place when Eliza had to sit her down and explain to her that she had been dating the boy for a while after she had come home shocked by what she had believed was an out of the blue invitation to prom.

“Kara, what’s the real reason?” Alex asked, her voice switching to a strange mix of no-nonsense detective and soft big sister. It was a tone that Alex only brought out when Kara was going through an overly strong case of denial.

“Real reason?” Kara repeated, finally bringing her emotions back under control (for the most part).

“Yeah, what’s really stopping you from going after the girl.” It wasn’t a question but a demand and Alex’s steely gaze was fixed on Kara unblinkingly.

“She’s out of my league.” Kara muttered shakily, a minor tremble appearing in her hands as she glanced at her still visible reflection in the mirror sat in the corner of the room.

“Not possible. Next?” Alex dismissed without hesitation. Kara adored her sister; Alex was unable to and unwilling to accept a single remark or inference that her sister wasn’t good enough. It was one of the things Kara loved most about her, and she couldn’t really complain when Alex didn’t take Kara’s self-confidence issues seriously as Kara was much the same when it came to Alex. Kara could not fathom Alex not being good enough for anything or anyone either and therefore wouldn’t even entertain the possibility. 

“I have a rule.” Kara tried instead with a light shrug as if it shouldn’t have been obvious.

“Ugh…” Alex groaned, leaning forward to bang her head on her kitchen table with a resounding thud to emphasise her frustration. “You made that rule about long distance relationships after a highschool romance.” Alex grumbled, her voice echoing off the wooden surface meaning Kara had to lean closer to the speakers on her computer to hear. “Brian was sweet but…” Alex lifted her head and gave Kara a tender look, “he was never  _ the one _ . It’s a stupid rule.”

“It’s a safe rule.” Kara corrected, tapping her fingers on the side of  her computer to give an outlet to her nervous energy.

“Stupid rule.” Alex repeated, enunciating each syllable childish. 

Kara crossed her arms over her chest angrily, “Name one relationship you know that survived long distance.”

Alex opened her mouth, her jaw hung open for a long moment before it snapped shut and the smarmy expression that had been on her face slowly disappeared. She pursed her lips petulantly, declaring, “There are definitely some out there.”

An awkward silence settled between the two sisters, falling heaviest over Kara who hated uncomfortable moments especially between her and Alex. Alex was her best friend, the person she could tell anything to… an awkward silence always marked a time when there was something hanging over them, something unsaid and Kara never wanted that to be the case.

The words tumbled out of Kara without her fully registering them, as if her fear was waiting for her subconscious to take over to make its presence known. “If I make a move and she is interested… and that’s a big, impossible if…” Kara added, resisting the uncomfortable desire to look at herself in the mirror whilst remembering Lena striding down the stairs for her photo debut with the reporters. “I still have to leave and long distance destroys relationships. I don’t want that. I would rather have a good memory.” Alex’s gaze dipped in sad understanding as Kara confessed, “If I get to know her without the romantic part…. It won’t hurt so much when I leave.”

“Kara…” Alex called out gently to get her sister’s full attention, her brown eyes filled with affection and sorrow. Kara knew if the two of them were together at that point, Alex would be pulling her into that rare tight hug reserved for their dark days and moments when they sought comfort from their sibling’s unconditional love “if you like her as much as you are making it abundantly clear you do... It's going to hurt no matter what.”

Kara hated how true that statement was.

Hated that she was already pre-emptively going to miss being able to see Lena in her kitchen, even though she was here for another week and a bit. Hated that in some ways it had been a relief when she thought Lena was cruel and callous because at least this way she would avoid the much bigger hurt that would inevitably come with saying goodbye.

Kara hated goodbyes, more than anything.

Hated letting go or losing things and people she cared about.

“Alex, can we please just leave it for tonight.” Kara requested with her best puppy dog eyes, knowing it was the fastest way to get Alex to give in.

Alex clenched her teeth using all the resistance she had built up over the years to force out, “But what if she’s-”

“She’s not.” Kara cut in, unable to bear even hearing the suggestion from her sister which she knew was a big deal. Alex would never suggest such a thing without genuinely thinking it could be true… Kara couldn’t help wondering what it was she had exactly said that had made her sister even consider the possibility. “She can't be. I'm… our lives are too different.” 

“Kara-”

“Please, Alex. Just leave it.” Kara begged the puppy dog eyes act disappearing to be replaced with an expression which revealed the turmoil she was experiencing. Alex’s hardened resistance faltered and disintegrated in the face of blue eyes pleading with her to let it rest.

“Fine.” Alex agreed defeatedly, falling back to slump in her chair, the set lines marking her face softening and a tentative smile settling in place as she gently changed the subject, “Tell me about the prank.”

The two sisters talked for half-an-hour or so, catching each other up on everything. Kara told Alex about the trip to the rugby stadium, explaining how the Queen happened to be present and introduced them to the team. 

Kara couldn’t really give an exact reason why she didn’t tell Alex that the chef was the Queen but she thinks it has something to do with being trusted with the real Lena. She was being trusted with something deeply personal, it felt wrong to share that with Alex no matter how much she trusted her sister. It wasn’t her secret and more importantly Kara wanted prove she was worthy of that trust and that meant keeping those conversations the two of them shared between the two of them and not letting the wider world know the Queen’s personal details. 

Kara needn’t have worried about her sister pushing for too much information, Alex was thrilled at the story and she gave the required amount of praise but the detective was already plotting CatCo’s next prank even though Kara said one was enough. Alex merely chuckled malovently and made a vague, rather ominous, prediction that Kara would come crawling back for more guidance now that she had experienced a taste of the dark side. It was nearing twenty past ten and Alex had to start getting ready for work, having got up extra early to skype Kara before her shift that morning. 

“See you later.” Kara cheered her good mood restored, after talking with her sister about everything other than the crush she knew was already shifting into something else. Alex waved her hand in farewell, when Kara, all of a sudden, caught a glimpse of her reflection out of the corner of her eye in the mirror across the room. “Oh, wait… ummm…” Kara gulped a large mouthful of air, building herself up to ask for reassurance about what had been worrying her the whole night, “How do I look?”

Alex tilted her head to the side and examined Kara carefully causing the blonde to straighten up and move her head from side to side giving Alex a full view. “Like you.” Alex remarked after a long few seconds of close inspection. Kara deflated noticeably at the less than helpful or uplifting statement, that is until Alex added, “And she'll be stupid not to find you beautiful.”

A grateful, slightly less nervous smile lit up Kara’s face, “Love you, Alex.”

“Love you, too.” Alex replied with a fond roll of her eyes before ending the call.  

Kara checked her appearance, once more in the mirror before sneaking out of her room, tiptoeing past James and Winn’s room where she could hear them watching a film on Winn’s laptop for the evening. Once out in the main corridor, Kara resisted the urge to run the path which had been seared into her memory after only walking it twice, and arrived outside the unassuming door only slightly out of breath.

After only a moment’s pause to prepare herself, she lightly knocked to announce her presence, then gently pushed open the door and poked her head inside. Lena was already there scurrying around the kitchen pulling open drawers and cupboards to gather various pieces of equipment and ingredients. She was dressed in sweatpants like every other night, but her NCU jumper had been replaced with a bright blue hoodie with the bold white lettering of ‘SKYLARKS’ printed on it accompanied by an overly-aggressive cartoon version of the bird. Her hair was down, and she had to flick it out of her face when she spun around to see Kara slowly come in and shut the door behind herself. Kara’s heart fluttered at the sight and the model-like action. 

All nervousness and anxiety melted away from the reporter in an instant as Lena’s eyes brightened and her signature smile appeared exclusively for her. 

“Hey.” Lena greeted, moving forward to lean against the kitchen island.

“Hey.” Kara responded, her feet propelling her towards the dark haired woman as if she was being pulled by a magnet.

“You look-”

“I’m sorry-”

Kara and Lena both blinked, snapping their mouths shut as they spoke at the same time. 

Kara blushed a light pink and her hand instinctively moved to adjust her glasses as she gently inquired, “What were you going to say?”

“No, you go, please.” Lena insisted politely, reaching out to lay an encouraging hand on Kara’s forearm.

Kara swallowed and ducked her gaze to focus on the hard floor, trying her best to ignore the electricity that was spreading through her system from the single point of contact with Lena, “I was just… um… I like how you’re dressed.” Kara cringed, glancing up at Lena who looked equal parts pleased and bemused, “You look… Not that you don’t always look… you know?” Lena raised an intrigued eyebrow which only made Kara’s next words even more disjointed and scrambled, “What I mean is that I prefer this version of you. When you’re dressed as the Queen in the dresses and the heels… That’s a great look… but like this, you look… you know? I mean in comparison to you…” Kara grimaced slightly as she looked down at her own attire, “in my pyjamas and… um-”

“Beautiful.” Lena interrupted clearly, the one word echoing around the kitchen.

“Huh?” Kara said in confusion, having lost track of her thoughts and what she had been saying as she talked herself into a hole.

Lena smiled sweetly, and gave Kara’s arm a light squeeze, Kara barely resisting the urge to shiver. “You. In your pyjamas.” Lena spoke plainly as if she was reciting simple facts that could not be disproven. “Beautiful. There is no comparison.” Kara was pretty sure her heart was beating so loudly and quickly that if Lena could hear it she would  be calling in a medical team for fear the blonde was about to experience heart failure. Lena’s expression was soft and filled with affection, her green eyes twinkling. “I prefer you like this, as well.”

Lena released Kara’s arm, stepping away and Kara hated how she instantly felt cold without her touch or close presence. 

“Oh… Uh… thank you.” Kara mumbled shyly.

“It’s just the truth.” Lena affirmed, moving back to the countertops to organise the various items she had already gathered.

“Haha… right… umm…” Kara laughed overly loudly, her hands flapping wildly and her pleased grin almost too wide to fit on her face. She cleared her throat, trying to rein in her feelings for the dark haired woman and her desire to spill her heart’s secrets.  “So… Uh… what were you going to say?” Kara prompted, shuffling forward to take the spot Lena had been leaning against a moment ago. Kara would claim she chose that place as it was closeby, truthfully she was seeking out the warmth that Lena’s body had left behind.

“Oh… I was going to apologise.” Lena remarked with a light frown.

Kara shook her head and said earnestly, “You’ve done more than enough. To be honest, you won me over with just ‘I’m sorry’.”

Lena froze, turning back to give Kara her full attention. Her green eyes were piercing, and Kara shifted from foot to foot uncertainly, “Well, I think you deserved more than a simple ‘I’m sorry’.” Lena declared seriously her expression remaining passionate until Kara nodded in understanding. Lena’s face and tone then softened and became more teasing, “Anyway, this is a much more serious apology…”

“Really?”

“Yes, see. I promised you a tortellini that would make a grown man cry but… um…” Lena rolled her shoulders, attempting to remove a hidden weight pressing down on them, Kara’s fingers itched to try and soothe the visible tension. “with everything going on today I literally only just finished work so I haven’t had a chance to even really start cooking.” 

“Well, that’s just not acceptable.” Kara huffed out, crossing her arms with faux sternness.

“It really isn’t.” Lena agreed, slumping forwards, dropping the bowl she was holding onto the marble countertop in total defeat, “Oh well, I guess this friendship just won’t work.” Lena murmured, flinging her head back like a character out of a shakespearean tragedy, “I can’t see how it will overcome this stumbling block.”

“We gave it a good go.” Kara commented thoughtfully with a helpless shrug.

“Yes, we did, that’s all we could really hope for…” Lena muttered despondently. The two of them stared at each other for a long few seconds daring the other to be the first to crack. Surprisingly enough, it was Lena who gave the game away first, the corner of her mouth twitching upwards into a small smile that had Kara chuckling. “Why don’t you settle down and I’ll start cooking?” Lena suggested, gesturing at Kara’s now regular seat. 

“I can’t just sit and watch.” Kara argued with a light whine.

“Are you any good at cooking?” Lena asked curiously.

Kara’s face went blank as every failed cooking attempt flashed through her mind like an over-the-top disaster movie, “Cooking…. Um… do you include ordering food within the definition of cooking?”

Lena pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes. “No, I do not.”

“Hmmm….” The disaster movie continued to play out in Kara’s mind leading her to nod determinedly and say, “Then no, I can’t cook.”

Lena rolled her eyes dismissively, “I’m sure you’re exaggerating. Everyone can cook, it’s like any skill it just requires practice.”

“Lena.” Kara breathed out, missing the look of shock and awe that swept over Lena’s face, as she tried desperately to explain how much of a lost cause her cooking was. “Your souffles are the equivalent to all of my cooking ‘practices’.” Kara added air quotes around her final word but was disappointed when Lena didn’t react. “The home economics teacher, permanently relegated me to washing up duty by the third lesson in high school. Eliza… uh… my adoptive mother…” She clarified, her hands flitting her, there and everywhere, “complained to the school, they told her to see for herself and get me to cook at home. One ruined frying pan later and Eliza marches back in to tell the principal I can’t be trusted in the same vicinity as an oven.” Kara chuckled awkwardly, “I know bad, right?” Lena blinked slowly, but her expression hadn’t changed since Kara had started talking, “What? Has my cooking inability rendered you speechless?”

Lena shook her head violently, a rare blush covering her cheeks as she stuttered, “No. You… um… you called me, Lena.”

Kara’s eyes went wide and a tight crushing pressure settled on her chest. Fear that she had misread their interactions coursed through her. That was the first time she had said Lena’s name out loud. It had tripped off her tongue so easily and simply. Panic began to build.

Maybe she was meant to call her ‘your majesty’ at all times but Kara didn’t think she could do that. 

This woman in front of her was  _ Lena _ . 

Charming, sweet, dorky Lena. 

Yes, a Queen. 

But she was Lena first and foremost in Kara’s mind. 

“Is that okay? Should I call you something else? I thought you wanted me to-”

“Lena is perfect.” Lena cut in, the brightest, most cheesiest grin Kara had ever seen illuminating her face, it made Kara feel like she could fly. “Thank you, Kara.” Green eyes glowed with joy.

“My pleasure.” Kara mumbled, resolving herself to say Lena’s name as often as she could from then on. 

Lena skipped forwards, and held out a hand for Kara to take, which she did without hesitation. With a light tug Lena pulled Kara over to the counter she had been working at. “Alright, so your story may have horrified me but I have fought in an actual war so I refuse to back down from this challenge.” 

Kara’s stomach twisted uncomfortably at the throwaway line of a war and she had to fight hard to keep her imagination from running away from her like it was want to do. She didn’t want to imagine Lena in actual harm’s way. “Trust me, the war might have been easier…”

“Maybe…” Lena murmured, letting go of Kara’s hand now that she was in position but remaining close to her side, radiating heat that beckoned Kara to move closer so they were actually pressed together. “but this is a challenge, I think I’ll actually enjoy.” Lena remarked, grinning excitedly, “Step up, I’m going to teach you to make pasta.”

“Make pasta? Don’t you just buy it in a bag and then boil it.” Kara’s brow furrowed as she stared at what looked like a miniature, stainless steel torture device setup in front of her.

“Not in this kitchen, you don’t.” Lena curtly replied before gesturing to the intimidating torture device, “Kara meet the pasta machine.”

“It’s not actually called that, is it?”

“Yes, it is. Disappointing, right?” Lena chuckled, enjoying Kara’s horrified examination of the machine. With a coy smirk, Lena gently pinched Kara’s upper arm to pull her gaze back to her. “Now, I’m going to require you to put those fine biceps of yours to work for me.”

“Fine biceps?” Kara gasped, losing all self control under Lena’s appreciative stare and the light brush of her thumb on her arm, before she moved her hand back to her side.

Lena let out a quick breath, and took a small step back, “Only if they manage to get this pasta to the correct thickness.”

Kara smirked, readying herself for a challenge, willing to do whatever it took to get Lena to look at her like that again. “I’ll see what I can do.”

Ten minutes later, an ache was already settling into Kara’s muscles. She threw a pout over at Lena who was chopping up vegetables to make a sauce that would go with their pasta.

“You’re a Queen, once a princess, don’t you have like birds and small woodland creatures to do this for you if you sing nicely enough?” Kara groaned out in a deep whine.

“Uh…. what?” Lena looked up, her brow furrowing heavily with perplexity, “Why would I have that? My singing tends to drive any creature large and small in the opposite direction.”

“I was referencing Snow White.” Kara explained as if it should be obvious.

Lena placed the knife she was using back down onto the countertop, and turned to face Kara, “I’m still not seeing the connection.” 

“You know the Disney version?” Kara pushed still waiting for Lena to go ‘oh, yeah of course’. “Hi-ho, hi-ho, it’s off to work we go.” She sang, adding in over the top dance moves and miming swinging a pickaxe to get her point across.

“Is that supposed to mean something to me? Disney? Is he a famous american author?” Lena inquired thoughtfully.

“You… you… you don’t know what Disney is?” Kara stammered out in disbelief.

“Should I?” Lena asked with a minor wince. 

“Sleeping Beauty?” Kara tried in vain.

“You mean ‘Little Briar Rose’, a Grimm's tale?” Lena responded, pleased that she recognised the example.

“Beauty and the Beast? The Little Mermaid?” Kara listed desperately, “Mulan? Hercules? The Lion King? Lilo and Stitch?”

Lena clapped her hands together and nodded fervently, “Okay, you definitely made that last one up.”

“No, Disney.” Kara stated, unable to fathom a world without her Disney classics on a stormy Sunday afternoon. “I don’t think I can truly comprehend that.” She uttered, shaking her head vigorously when she saw the worried expression on Lena’s face as if she was scared that this knowledge gap would drive Kara away. Kara put on a reassuring smile and nodded her head toward Lena, “So, something else from your childhood...” Kara tapped her chin in deep thought, “Okay, what about… Dr. Seuss? Roald Dahl?” Lena seemed to shrink further in on herself as she failed to recognise any of Kara’s suggestions, “Please, tell me you at least had Harry Potter…”

“Sorry.” Lena murmured dejectedly,

“No wonder you’ve never found a book you can’t put down!” Kara exclaimed.

“Hey,” Lena held up an accusing finger, “Theonia is very culturally advanced and has produced some critically acclaimed masterpieces.”

“And there’s that term again.” Kara snarked, scrunching her eyes up with mischief.

“Fine…” Lena relented, lifting her chin up into the air in a challenge, “How about this, I’ll make you a deal.”

“I’m listening.” Kara said, eyeing Lena suspiciously.

“Considering how devastated you are about my limited knowledge of the international entertainment available that I have seemingly been deprived of…” Lena remarked, “How about you educate me about that and I’ll teach you to cook?”

“I think you’ve got the tougher end of that deal.” Kara admitted, fidgeting with her glasses timidly as she ducked her gaze to the floor.

Kara felt a light touch underneath her chin and when she looked up she found her favourite pair of green eyes observing her closely. “I get to spend time with you, there is no tougher end to the deal in my opinion.” Lena whispered earnestly, brushing her thumb lightly over Kara’s chin before dropping it down and holding it out between them for Kara to take.

Kara struggled to get a hold of the tremble running through her as she wrapped her hand around Lena’s soft, pale one. “You have yourself a deal, Lena.”

“Ten thirty every night until you leave?”

“Ten thirty every night… until I leave…” Kara repeated, the happiness that had been building within her since she had walked into the kitchen leaving her in one great rush of air upon hearing the reminder that none of it would last. 


	10. The Difference a Smile Makes

Lena felt lighter than she had done in years.

She was still acutely aware of the weight of endless burdens and unfathomable responsibilities laden onto her young shoulders. Her mind was still muttering harsh, almost clinical, corrections to her from the second she woke up, the voice getting louder when she entered the Royal Offices, it told her to: walk like this, talk like that, smile pleasantly at all times, be polite despite the rudeness of others and stand tall even when you feel like you are being crushed. Her heart, however, made the loudest and most important demands of her, every beat was a desperate plea to help, support and protect her people. 

Lena was still weighed down by the weight of millions of people's needs but today, that morning specifically, that weight was slightly less… and it made all the difference.

Getting out of bed didn’t require Lena to threaten or cajole herself. 

She didn’t spend over half an hour, as she rushed down a quick, insubstantial breakfast, trying to decide what would be the most appropriate clothing to wear for that day at work. She selected a simple black skirt, red shirt and black blazer without much forethought, the clothes were comfortable and she felt more like Lena before she had become the Queen when she wore them. 

Usually, before striding into the Royal Offices, Lena would pause outside the doors, gathering herself and allowing her polite and courteous smile to slip into place. Today, she didn’t hesitate, she pushed inside, waving cheerily at her staff, who stopped whatever they were doing to bow, and greeted Jess with friendly gusto that had her secretary staring at her as if her Queen had been replaced by a life-like replica.

It wasn’t until Lena was seated at her desk and going through her plan for the day, that  she realised what the main difference was between this morning and every other morning.

Lena woke up with a smile on her face. 

A genuine smile that showed no signs of disappearing anytime soon.

A smile that turned easily into her rare one-dimpled smile whenever she remembered even a second of her time spent with Kara last night or thought about how she would get to see Kara again that day.

“Don’t say it.” Lena ordered, holding up an intimidating finger and waving it from side to side at the newly arrived intruder in her office, who was smirking at her far too knowingly for Lena’s liking.

“Say what?” Sam asked innocently, gliding further into the room and falling into one of the chairs opposite Lena’s desk without the twinkle leaving her eyes for even a second. 

“Whatever it is you’re thinking.” Lena replied, keeping her gaze fixed on her computer screen.

“Is that an order, your majesty?” Sam queried in amusement, though Lena could sense the earnestness of the question under the teasing. 

Lena hated that extra layer that was apart of her relationship with Sam. 

The Queen layer, Lena spitefully referred to it. It was a layer present in all of her relationships. 

She hated that Sam always had to check, that there always had to be that level of restraint in their interactions. If she wasn’t the Queen, Sam would go straight for the jugular with her teasing, she wouldn’t hesitate to poke and prod like a child at her friend’s obvious blush and embarrassment. 

But Lena was the Queen. At all times. 

Therefore Sam restrained herself.

J’onn didn’t call her ‘little one’ anymore.

And Ruby was forced to keep her distance whenever Lena was in public.

Lena exhaled slowly, forcing herself to think back to Kara acting out the entire plot of ‘The Little Mermaid’ last night. Lena hadn’t laughed so hard in her life as she watched Kara switch between all the characters and put on the musical numbers, singing all the parts without hesitation. 

Kara, unlike everyone else in Lena’s life, didn’t hold back who she really was. 

Her smiles were bright and uninhibited. She was giddy and excited about even the smallest things that brought her even a little bit of joy. She wore big, blue pyjamas because they were comfy and not because they were fashionable. 

Lena adored Kara purely because she was herself around Lena.

She didn’t hide, change or alter who she was because Lena had a crown. And most importantly, she didn’t expect Lena to hide, change or alter who she was because she had a crown. And that was what made Lena feel ever so slightly lighter that morning.

Lena rolled her eyes at her best friend’s question in an over dramatic manner to lighten Sam’s slight, well hidden, nervousness, “It’s a  _ request _ you should most definitely consider following.”

Sam’s eyes brightened immediately, “Hmmm….” She mused thoughtfully, before narrowing her gaze and arching an eyebrow decisively, “I’m going to risk it.”

Lena regretted her decision to encourage Sam the second she saw the glee in her best friend’s eyes. Lena let out a heavy sigh and twirled her chair so she was fully facing Sam, ready and willing to accept the torturous jibes she was undoubtedly about to receive.

“I like seeing you this happy. You deserve it.” Sam stated after a long pause.

Lena blinked once in dumbfounded surprise, Sam’s expression had softened as she leant back to simply admire her friend. “That’s it?” Lena couldn’t help but ask in complete bewilderment, “I expected more… I don’t know... teasing, ribbing… general irritation. I mean I gave you free reign…” Sam shrugged carefreely, “This was a pleasant surprise.” Lena admitted with a relieved exhale, turning back to her computer screen to bring up the next load of documents she needed to review.

“Mmhmm…” Sam hummed, the smirk reappearing as she muttered, “Hold onto that feeling.”

Lena furrowed her brow and glanced back over to her friend who looked far too pleased with herself, “Why?”

“Prepare yourself, your majesty.” Sam ordered, shuffling in her seat as if readying herself to get up and leave. 

“Excuse me?” Lena brought her head back around to give Sam her full attention whilst her fingers twitched nervously over her keyboard.

“Prepare yourself.” Sam repeated with the same amused tone she had been using for their entire interaction so far. 

“Yes, I heard you, I just don’t understand you.” Lena clarified, frustration beginning to build in the face of Sam’s mischievous joy and mysterious attitude so far.

“Five… Four... “

“Are- Are you counting down?” Lena inquired, her hands shifting to grip the edge of her desk in alarm.

“Three… Two…” Sam continued, completely unperturbed as she got to her feet and started to walk towards the door.

“Why?” Lena called out, but her question went unanswered.

“One.” Sam finished, her hand wrapping around the door handle and pulling it open with a flourish.

Lena wasn’t one to boast but it was a well-known, and accepted throughout Theonia as fact, that she had incredible intellect (when Lena’s filter was suitably put aside following a few drinks she would insist that her intelligence be rated as genius level). She was observant, meticulous and prepared for anything. 

Therefore it was very rare for her to forget or fail to foresee something she should have expected.

Lena should have known what to expect. 

Should have known  _ who  _ to expect.

But today was different. 

Today, she had woken up with a smile on her face and as such she had forgotten the consequences of changing her schedule to allow for her last minute apology.   

“Your majesty. You’re not occupied I see.” Commander Lane declared, as she strode through the open door without hesitating, balancing a sickeningly large folder in the crook of her left arm. 

“Errr… Commander Lane.” Lena spluttered out her eyes going wide with dread as she flashbacked to the, what felt like, endless number of times she had to become intimately familiar with that folder at the behest of Commander Lane. “Sam and I were in the middle of a very important… critical… discussion.” Lena said desperately, sending Sam her most pleading gaze.

Sam’s smirk transitioned into a grin and Lena’s stomach plummeted with the realisation that Sam had every intention of abandoning her to her fate despite it being her daughter that had encouraged Lena in the first place. “I was just leaving, actually.” Sam replied, hastily moving to make her escape.

“I don’t think we finished hashing out all the details-” Lena implored, as she shot to her feet, putting on her most imperious tone to convince Sam to stay.

“It can wait.” Sam dismissed with a light wave of her hand as she stepped through the doorway and started to pull it closed.

“I don’t think it can.” Lena called out in a last ditch attempt to get Sam to save her.

“Goodbye, your majesty.” Sam responded in a sing-song voice before the door clicked shut, obscuring her from view.

“Sam!” Lena shouted out in dismay and anger, promising that she would have her revenge on her chief of staff before the end of the week.

“Your majesty.” Commander Lane said in her professional, neutral tone, though when Lena flicked her eyes over to the soldier, she could see the wry smile under the mask undoubtedly caused by the antics she had just witnessed. 

Lena decided then and there that she needed to find new friends, or at least new people to work with. 

Lucy and Sam double teamed her far too often and far too well in Lena’s opinion.

“Commander. Please.” Lena relented, accepting her fate as she gestured to the chair Sam had occupied only moments ago, falling into her own chair with heavy limbs. “I always prefer to be sitting down when being lectured… it allows me to relive my university days.”

Commander Lane, rolled her eyes and carefully sat down, crossing her legs with precise movements. “Your majesty, I don’t appreciate your glibness when it comes to your safety.”

“I will endeavour to be less glib.” Lena snarked back, her good mood slipping away when faced with an hour of being admonished for not following strict security protocol. 

“That’s what you said a month ago.” Commander Lane deadpanned, “And two months before that. And every day straight for two weeks before that.”

“I really mean it this time, Commander.” Lena promised, though the head of her Royal Guard wasn’t even remotely fooled by her false sincerity.

“You know the deal, your majesty.”

“Really? This again?”

“Yes, your majesty.” Commander Lane affirmed remorselessly.

“Look, I promise I won’t make any changes to my schedule without giving more than twenty-four hours notice so that the royal guard can sweep the area.” Lena begged to the one person who was actually able to overrule her when it came to security.

“I am pleased you remembered exactly what rule you broke,” Commander Lane muttered, shifting forward to hold out the huge file that Lena had been forced to go through more times than she could count, “but we still need to go through everything, your majesty.” The resounding thud of the file hitting the wooden desk, gave Lena horrific flashbacks and, since becoming Queen, had become a recurring part of her nightmares, “Shall we begin, your majesty?”

“I hope you know, that at this rate you won’t be getting a christmas card from me this year…” Lena petulantly remarked as she slumped down in her chair.

Commander Lane raised an eyebrow as she flipped open the folder and mumbled, “I am truly heartbroken, your majesty.”

“It was worth it… by the way…” Lena eventually whispered to her head of security and old friend who was hunched over the folder, flicking through the pages with familiarity.

Lucy froze in what she was doing and looked up slowly, revealing a small smile, “I can tell. It’s nice to see you smiling, your majesty.”

The hour passed uncomfortably slowly as Lucy gave her the security lecture Lena had heard so many times previously, she could probably have given it to herself by this point. Lena understood the necessity of being clear on protocols and following them to the letter, but that didn't make the subject matter any less dull. On the plus side, Lena got to spend an hour with Lucy, which was a rare occurrence in the last few weeks as the Commander had been focusing on providing protection to the numerous reporters currently staying at the Palace, and keeping a watchful eye on all the new staff they had brought on to accommodate the journalists’ visit. 

Lucy and Lena had met during the early parts of the civil war; Lucy became a crucial ally and bodyguard to Lena in her darkest and most dangerous days. They had become close friends during various horrors and when Lena became Queen one of her first acts was to appoint Lucy the Commander of her Royal Guard, showing a high level of trust and granting Lucy power over the Queen that no one else had. Lucy was the only person who could give the Queen an order. Admittedly, Lena didn’t have to follow any order given to her, but to ensure the Royal Guard remained loyal to their Commander and to highlight to her people that their Queen took her safety seriously, Lena hadn’t refused any yet. 

Lena promised herself that once the reporters had gone back home, she would have a long overdue girls’ night with Sam, Lucy and Ruby. Lena had originally included Kara on that last in her mind, and it had stung sharply when she remembered that Kara wouldn’t be around. 

Kara would have returned home, and Lena would most likely never see her again. 

That realisation wiped the smile of Lena’s face far more efficiently than Lucy’s lecture ever could.

Lena spent the rest of the morning, rushing to get through her work, making phone calls, sending out letters with her kindest regards and keeping a watchful eye on the Theonian news. The afternoon was to be spent at the parliament buildings for her biweekly meeting with the prime minister followed by sitting in on a few strategy discussions with various ministers. 

In preparation for her meeting, Lena called in the senior staffers for a quick update.

“Please tell me, I have good news to give the prime minister at our next meeting.” Lena requested of those seated at the oval table in her office. The various staffers shifted uneasily, the lack of Sam’s presence as their main spokesperson made them all unsure of their role. Sam acted as the bridge between the Queen and those that worked in the office, it allowed Lena to maintain her authority whilst still providing the staffers someone they could relate to more easily in the form of the chief of staff.

“Very good news.” Marcus, Sam’s deputy, spoke up. 

Marcus was about the same age as Lena, a little younger than Sam, but he had a good head on his shoulders, handling any task or stressful situation with a confidence and calmness Lucy had commented she wished more of her soldiers had. Because of his age, and lack of experience before this role, not many other of the staffers took him seriously and Marcus struggled to step up as a leader, Sam was hoping her absence would give him a push in the right direction. 

“Ms Arias has just sent an email saying that: ‘following CatCo’s most recent article on the Skylarks, that we ensured was widely available on the intranet, there has been a noticeable shift in the number of citizens opening up’.” Marcus announced resulting in a small round of applause and lots of relieved sighs.

“The Washington Post is being rather successful at getting people’s survival stories from the previous monarch’s reign.” Ashley, another one of Sam’s proteges, added once the small celebration had died down. There was an unspoken rule that all of the staff abided by which was to never mention Lex or Lionel by name if it could be helped. ‘Previous monarch’ was a regularly used turn of phrase, as was ‘Her Majesty’s father’. It wasn’t particularly tactful but Lena appreciated the effort nonetheless.

“The Times appears to be focusing on getting people’s view on the newly installed government.” Marcus supplied whilst he scrolled through the update Sam had just sent, “I believe Ray Larkin wishes to contrast the success of our recently established government against other historical attempts in the wider world.”

“Hmm… interesting.” Lena mused thoughtfully liking the idea of being able to compare and contrast with other recent attempts at setting up a democracy for her own edification, “Make sure I and the prime minister get a copy of both, whenever they publish.” Lena ordered, indicating with a nod of her head for them to continue.

“LYNX news has put out numerous videos already this morning, where Mr Matthews interacts with younger citizens and contrasts their entertainment sources with those of their american counterparts.” Ashley said with a tilt of her head as if unsure whether this was a good or bad thing. 

“Let me guess…” Lena mumbled, tapping her pen against the pad of paper in front of her, “These videos consist of inane quizzes and strange sound effects?”

“That would be accurate, your majesty.” Ashley responded with a tight frown.

“And do our citizens enjoy this…” Lena cleared her throat not quite comfortable associating LYNX with the word ‘news’ after her own interview which made her feel like she had lost several IQ points simply by being there, “news style?”

Ashley shook her head instantly, “They find it amusing… but would not count it as news, your majesty.” The young girl reassured.

Lena let out a thankful sigh at that. 

She appreciated what LYNX was doing, if any news outlet was going to truly humanise Lena’s citizens to the international masses it would be LYNX. There carefree and superficiality would help make Theonians appear like everyone else. Still, Lena wanted to check that her people viewed LYNX the same way as she did, harmless fun but not serious news. She shouldn’t have been overly worried on that account though, her people went several years without freedom of the press, and that loss made them value well-investigated and unbiased news sources all the more. LYNX had the potential to soften Theonian’s harsh reputation overseas but Lena was weary that of all the external news sources, LYNX would be the one to put their foot in it and cause her people to become more closed off than before. It was a strange balancing act, so her and Sam were watching it closely.

“Send the videos to me anyway… I need to keep up-to-date with everything.”

“Yes, your majesty.” Ashley acknowledged, tapping out a reminder for herself quickly.

“Alright next on the agenda?” Lena brusquely asked moving the meeting forward.

The afternoon passed by as slowly as the morning, and Lena was convinced it had something to do with the fact that she was literally counting down the minutes until she could see Kara again. Her meeting with J’onn was a pleasure as always, and she relished the time she got to spend with her father figure even if it was solely for work. The discussions with the other ministers, were nowhere near as enjoyable and Lena left each one with a steadily increasingly list of tasks for herself. 

By the time Lena returned to the office the rest of the staff had headed home for the day, apart from Jess who always stubbornly refused to leave until Lena stopped working. Ruby was already waiting for her in her office, and instantly pushed aside her homework to giddily pester Lena with an unending stream of questions about how her apology had gone yesterday. 

Lena couldn’t resist Ruby’s enthusiasm for even a second and quickly settled in to regale Ruby with her tale and how she had made a friend. Sam came in about halfway through the story but didn’t interrupt, obviously enjoying her friend’s happiness and not wanting to spoil her daughter’s time with her more or less surrogate aunt. The only time Sam made her presence known was when Lena finished her story by saying she was pleased to have made a new friend. Sam had tilted her head and jolted slightly in her seat, Lena glanced over to her curiously, only to see Sam purse her lips before signing the word ‘friend’ in disbelief. 

Lena exhaled deeply in response and subtly shook her head from side to side. Sam’s gaze hardened and Lena didn’t need to be looking at her to see her sign ‘later’ in a slightly threatening manner behind Ruby’s back. Lena resolved herself to not being alone with Sam for too long from that moment onwards.

Lena knew why Sam had questioned the friend comment. 

Lena hadn’t been exactly secretive in her interest if her lack of denying her growing feelings for Kara or the smile she had woken up with were any indication. But having the feelings and acting on them were two very different things. 

Lena wasn’t allowed to fall in love. 

That’s not true, Lena was allowed to fall in love with someone as long as they matched the expectations set upon her by tradition and her people. 

Expectations which included: male, nobility and, most importantly, Theonian.

Kara did not fit any of those requirements.

Lena repeated the expectations set upon her in a futile attempt to justify why she didn’t reveal the growing depth of her feelings to Kara. Tradition and her people’s expectations were not what was holding Lena back, however. 

Fear of rejection was the loudest reason whenever she was actually with Kara. Fear that, after having just earned this adorable, intelligent, sweet, kind, funny woman back into her life she would lose her by confessing how she felt. There were moments last night, and at times during the other nights, which Lena had hoped implied Kara returned her feelings, like how Kara regularly said she was pretty or got tongue tied when Lena flirted or coyly smiled. But as she spent more time with Kara, Lena had quickly realised that Kara was such a genuinely nice person, she probably complimented everyone she met and that Kara could just be getting flustered as Lena was making her feel uncomfortable. That latter possibility was like a dull weight in Lena’s stomach which made her feel slightly sick.

When Lena had allowed herself to indulge in the minor fantasy of Kara reciprocating her feelings, her insecurities would quickly twist the daydream in to something far more unpleasant.

Kara only pretending to return her affection for fear of a reprisal from the Queen of Theonia.

Or Kara only wanting a quick fling whilst Lena wouldn’t be able to stop herself from falling for the blonde only for everything to abruptly end when the reporters returned home.

Or even worse, Kara and her being together, genuinely falling for one another, only for Kara to leave without Lena being able to make any long term commitment.

Lena was not a cruel person, at least she strived every day not to be, but even she had to admit that there was nothing happy that could come out of pursuing something romantic with Kara. Either one of them or both them would get hurt, and Lena couldn’t bear to lose Kara by sharing her feelings and she especially couldn’t bear hurting Kara by not being able to return them fully.

Lena was not cruel and therefore she would keep her feelings to herself. That way she could guarantee she would be the only one to suffer.

However, just because Lena wouldn’t allow herself to act upon her feelings, doesn’t mean she wouldn’t do her utmost to cherish the time she got to spend with her new friend. Hence why, once Sam and Ruby had departed for the night, Lena raced back to her room to throw on her comfy clothes, selecting the Skylark hoodie once again as it would now always remind her of the day she had earned Kara’s forgiveness. She threw her hair up in a messy ponytail, and took out her contacts, balancing her thick, rounded glasses onto her face before bustling downstairs through the Royal apartments to the kitchen.

She had only just stepped into the kitchen and begun pulling out the various ingredients for the meal she would be teaching Kara, when the door across the room which led to the rest of the Palace was flung open. A blue pyjama clad Kara skipped inside carrying a bag, which she deposited on the island before rushing into her characteristic ramble, Lena absolutely adored more than anything else, without even saying hello.

“Okay, so I have mastered the skill of boiling pasta, what have you got to throw at me tonight, Lena?” Kara inquired, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet like an excited puppy. Lena felt herself melting at the sight, her feet moving as if pulled by a magnet towards to the beam of sunshine, and she opened her mouth to reply but Kara continued before she could answer, barely pausing to catch her breath between sentences. “Frying an egg? A salad? How about boiling rice? I know what you’re thinking…” Kara held up her hands as if to stop Lena from jumping to conclusions. Lena’s smile merely grew in size at the action, fully enamoured by her excitement, “Isn’t that similar to pasta? But I feel you should know that whenever I cook rice it turns into a congealed mess of horror and nightmares…”

Kara trailed off and her eyes became glazed and unfocused. Lena sighed and shook her head in amusement as she waved her hand in front of Kara’s unreactive face. This had happened a couple of other times when they had been together, Kara would get distracted by something and Lena would get a front row seat to watching Kara get swept away by her imagination. Lena leant against the counter and waited patiently, for Kara’s blue eyes to regain their sharp vibrancy and for the reporter to shake her head to defog her thoughts. 

“Welcome back to reality.” Lena murmured in greeting as Kara glanced around as if to remind herself of where she was.

“Sorry, minor zoning out there.” Kara winced out in apology, rubbing the back of her neck.

“I know.” Lena said softly, trying to remove the guilt present in Kara’s expression, “You’ll have to tell me some time where you go when you do that.”

Kara shrugged as she mumbled out in explanation, “Oh, just visiting Frank…”

“Huh? Is that a Disney character?” Lena asked, quirking an eyebrow and tilting her head to the side in confusion.

“No. Not even a little bit…” Kara grimaced, and Lena couldn’t stop herself from taking a mental picture of the way the blonde’s nose scrunched up childishly. Lena was so absorbed in committing as much of Kara to memory as possible that she missed Kara’s very unsubtle change of subject, “So… what are we cooking tonight?”

“Cottage pie.” Lena replied once her brain had rebooted.

Kara pouted and her eyes went wide with fright, “I feel like that’s more of an advanced cooking lesson… I’m still not overly comfortable getting too close to the oven…” Kara glanced over at the appliance as if it was on the verge of coming to life and chasing her around the room.

Lena chuckled before reaching out to squeeze Kara’s forearm supportively as she whispered with total sincerity, “You’re much better than you give yourself credit for.”

Kara swallowed thickly and ducked her head unable to meet Lena’s eyes any longer, “Thanks.”

Seeing Kara unable to meet her gaze, made Lena worry she had overstepped once again, and she quickly retracted her hand back to her side. Lena cleared her throat, pushing down the mix of pleasure she always got when feeling the warmth Kara radiated and the disappointment whenever she remembered she couldn’t touch Kara the way she wanted, “So, how about me? What are you teaching me about today? Are we still on the impact of Disney and it’s commercialisation of people’s childhoods?”

Kara crossed her arms and huffed out a breath, “See, I knew you didn’t get it” Kara immediately began throwing her hands around in wild gestures as she grumbled, “Grr… if you’d seen  _ one  _ film, you would understand…”

“I thought you depicted ‘Beauty and the Beast’ wonderfully.” Lena affirmed earnestly, remembering how much effort Kara had put into acting each scene and how beautifully she had sung each song from memory.

“You said, the Beast sounds like a manipulative sociopath…” Kara pointed out with a harsh frown.

“Oh, come on… he kept her locked up-” Lena argued.

“And you said Ursula didn’t actually do anything wrong!” Kara exclaimed, still unable to fully comprehend how Lena had come to this point of view.

“She didn’t!” Lena yelled in exasperation, “She made the terms of the contract very clear. And she was nice enough to give Ariel fully functioning, human legs… there was wide scope for her to be particularly cruel.” Lena explained putting on her diplomatic tone which persuaded most people to her point of view with ease.

Kara snorted derisively, completely unconvinced by Lena’s words and tone, “This is why you actually need to see the film… it comes across so much better in it’s true animated form.”

Lena laughed at Kara’s sulking, and on any other topic Lena would have continued to tease and prod, but she knew that these Disney films were important to Kara so she decided to bring an end to her ribbing, “Your singing was beautiful.” Kara’s pout slowly disappeared and she perked up immediately, upon witnessing the positive impact of her compliment Lena couldn’t stop the next sentence from tumbling out, “I could fall in love with- er- it for just the music.”

Kara blushed a pretty pink, and Lena took another mental snapshot to add to her already large volume, “Thanks.” Kara’s hands began to fidget nervously with the bag she had set down nearby, “Anyway… I decided music and books would have to be the main lessons until I can get Winn to download a few films for us.” Kara pulled out a speaker and her phone and started tapping away on the screen, “So… I have a cooking playlist for us to sing along to whilst we cook.” Kara shot Lena her brightest grin and Lena’s heart skipped a beat as it always did when gifted such a viewing, “It’s mostly made up of songs I like but I can finetune the playlist to your tastes if you tell me which songs you like.”

Lena was genuinely touched that not only had Kara thought so intensely about what she wanted to share with Lena but also that Kara wanted to try and craft it into something  _ Lena  _ would enjoy. “Kara, that sounds incredible. Thank you.” Lena murmured truly grateful for Kara’s actions.

“Pfft… it was nothing.” Kara spluttered, scuffing her toe on the floor bashfully, before lifting her head and asking with a cheeky smirk, “Shall we get started?”

Lena took charge once Kara had successfully set up her speaker to blast out her playlist, and started talking Kara through the steps to making a cottage pie. Lena had learnt from yesterday that Kara learnt best by talking her through it and then letting her try it out herself offering minor corrections here and there, but Kara didn’t cope well with being heavily scrutinised, it flustered her and she tended to make more mistakes. 

The music Kara had selected was upbeat and catchy, it wasn’t particularly to Lena’s taste but she couldn’t bring herself to dislike any of the songs when Kara danced so freely and sang along so melodiously to every single one. Kara, though, still seemed to pick up on the fact that Lena preferred the rock music to the pop and the acoustic classics to the disco, as Lena noticed Kara’s brow furrowing as if to commit to memory every song she caught Lena nodding her head to. 

“How does this look?” Kara eventually called out, as she poked anxiously at the mixture in the frying pan. 

“Great.” Lena assured, as she wandered over to lean against the counter nearest to Kara. “You’re doing well.” Kara flashed her a proud smile and Lena had to push herself to say the next part, as any reminder of Kara’s departure was like a kick to the stomach, “When you get home, you can show off your new skills to your sister.”

Kara nodded her head, but the familiar glazed over expression took over her face yet again and when she came back to the real world, she seemed unable to meet Lena’s eye, choosing to mumble her next words to the food she was cooking, “Lena… can I ask you something?”

“Anything.” Lena stated without hesitation, hating that Kara didn’t feel comfortable just asking whatever was on her mind. 

Kara didn’t need to ask for permission.

Lena watched Kara closely, observing how the blonde appeared to be trying to relax her tense muscles, “So…” Kara began slowly, pausing to lick her lips as if to delay the spew of words Lena could tell was just waiting to be unleashed, “I’ve told you about a lot of the staples of my childhood but I don’t know… I’m not asking for details… just like I want to know more about you… and I don’t know what I can and can’t ask… like what did you do when you were younger? What’s your favourite colour? What’s your favourite food? What’s the deal with the souffles?” Kara puffed out a long overdue blast of air, and finally glanced to her side at Lena who had gone rigid, her jaw was tight and her arms were wrapped protectively around herself. Kara deflated instantly and looked positively panic-stricken, “You know what? Forget it. It’s silly-”

“Chess, horse riding and inventing.” Lena interrupted once she had regained control of her mouth. 

“Huh?” Kara blinked at her in confusion.

“What I did when I was younger.” Lena explained, her arms tightening around her body a little more whilst she focused on making her facial expression soften. 

Lena wasn’t mad about the questions. She was actually touched by them. Kara didn’t want to know her dark, sordid secrets, she didn’t want to hear horror stories or tales of toe-curling embarrassment. Kara simply wanted to know more about  _ her _ . Wanted to know her likes, dislikes, how she thought, what she got up to when she was kid and what music she preferred. 

Kara wanted to know  _ Lena _ . 

And that… that meant the world to Lena. 

It meant so much that every feeling and every desire that was begging and pleading with her to scoop Kara up into a tight embrace and kiss her for as long as she could, grew infinitely more intense. Lena had to work overtime to restrain herself, to control her muscles so she wouldn’t act on her feelings.  

“Inventing?” Kara prompted with a curious lilt to her voice which effectively dragged Lena away from her spiralling thoughts.

“Well… I don’t know if you can call what I did inventing.” Lena said, her green eyes twinkling with mirth as she remembered the mischief she used to get up to in this very palace so many years ago. “I used to love taking things apart and putting them back together again…” Lena arched an eyebrow at Kara who seemed to be listening to her with stunning intensity, “though I didn’t often succeed at that second part.” Lena admitted with a rueful grin. “I once took apart the Royal Guard’s security vehicle and none of the mechanics they brought in could fix what I’d done… that was the final straw for my mother.” Lena remarked with a fond shake of her head, “She had no problem with my desire to build things, her issue was with my apparent lack of skill at it.”

“She stopped you from tinkering?” Kara gasped out, obviously appalled at the idea that Lena’s mother would even consider preventing Lena from continuing with her interests.

“What? No, of course not.” Lena denied fervently, dismissing Kara’s kind concerns with an easy wave of her hand, “She brought in the best tutors she could and told me in no uncertain terms that the next time I take something apart I better put it back together so it was better than it was before.”

“And did you?”

Lena smirked at the memory Kara’s query conjured in her mind, “The Royal Guard still use the truck I took apart the second time and claim that it’s still the best running out of all the others.”

Kara laughed, that beautiful sounding laugh that Lena thought sounded like the bell decorations Sam and Ruby would put on the christmas tree every year. “I like that story.” Kara whispered into the stillness that settled between them following Lena sharing something about herself that not many people actually knew.

“Me too.” Lena agreed with a firm nod before taking a deep breath and preparing herself to broach what had been occupying her thoughts the moment she saw that Kara was uncomfortable asking her questions, “Kara, you’re my friend, you can ask me anything.” Bright blue eye sought her out and Lena was momentarily blinded by the hope and affection that was being directed at her through them. “There may be a few, probably more than a few, questions that I’m not willing to answer”, Lena confessed, her fingers moving to play with the hem of her hoody and she had to resist with all her willpower the desire to duck her gaze to the floor but she held strong and maintained eye contact with the piercing blue, “but that isn’t related to my trust in you but more a failure inside of me. There are things in my past that I don’t feel strong enough to remember, let alone talk about.”

Kara opened and closed her mouth, clearly trying to resist rambling, taking a few seconds to organise her thoughts and provide a coherent answer, “Lena, you’re allowed to decide what you want me or anyone else to know… I just didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable by asking about something that might upset you.” 

Sweet relief trickled down Lena’s spine at Kara’s earnestness, “I appreciate that. But I want you to ask me whatever you want.” Lena declared, forcing her tone and expression to be serious and self-assured so Kara wouldn’t doubt her.

Kara remained quiet for a few seconds, obviously reflecting on Lena’s assertion before allowing her face to break out into a wide smile as she asked far more confidently, “Okay… so horse riding, huh?”

The rest of the evening was spent with Lena telling Kara about her interests nowadays and when she was younger. Kara absorbed all the information eagerly, and didn’t seem even remotely upset that Lena did far more talking that night than her. Kara’s cottage pie was edible but work definitely needed to be done with regards to how Kara presented food, if the uneven and slightly anaemic looking pie was anything to go by. Lena made a note in her head that Kara’s next cooking lesson should focus on presentation as the main skill. 

It was approaching close to midnight by the time the two women both regretfully agreed to call it a night. Lena never enjoyed this portion of the evening, saying goodbye, it was the only sour note to the time they spent together. If Lena could have her way, Kara would never leave, would never say goodbye but that would make her just like the villian, ‘The Beast’, in Kara’s poorly plotted animated feature.

“Goodnight, Kara.” Lena said, the words causing the deep, lonely ache that was always a part of her to roar up and make its presence known. 

“Goodnight, Lena.” Kara replied, and Lena hoped that she wasn’t imagining the wistful tone that accompanied those two words. Kara headed towards the door, and Lena followed slowly, it had become a ritual that Lena walked Kara out and closed the door behind her. All of a sudden, however, Kara came to a stop and yelped out, “Oh, wait… I have something for you.”

“You do?” Lena inquired in surprise as Kara jogged past her to collect the bag she had left on the island before rushing back to Lena’s side. 

Kara rummaged through the bag, smiling victoriously as she pulled out a tatty, well loved book and proclaimed, “Here.”

Lena gingerly accepted the falling apart paperback, afraid it was only seconds away from disintegrating, “Harry Potter?”

“One of my favourites.” Kara announced gleefully.

Lena pursed her lips, letting out a guilty sigh, “Kara, I’m not a big fan of children’s books or the fantasy genre for that matter…”

“This is not a children’s book…”Kara inhaled sharply, acting as if Lena had just personally insulted her mother, “It’s a universal book.” Lena didn’t quite believe that was a common turn of phrase but she didn’t want to offend Kara further, “Look, just please give it a go.” Kara reached out and laid her hand on Lena’s arm, her thumb moving back and forth in a soothing motion as she said sincerely, “I think you’ll really like it.”

Between the soft words, eyes as captivating as the ocean and the warm touch of Kara’s hand, Lena stood absolutely no chance. Resistance was futile. “I’ll give it a go, I promise.”

“Cool. I’ll um… see you tomorrow, then?” Kara checked, only very slowly letting her hand fall away from Lena, and Lena found herself quickly moving to clutch the gifted book to her chest to substitute for the loss.

“Absolutely.”


	11. The Dignity of Turtles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... yeah... I know... Life and video games have taken over everything. Anyway, here you go. I will strive to not leave as long a gap between chapters again. :) xx
> 
> By the way if anyone is interested, the title for this fic comes from the song 'Home Away From Home' by the Canopy Climbers which massively inspired what is going to be the key theme for this fic. Give it a listen if interested.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy...

“Oh, no.” Kara finally muttered dejectedly as the true horror of the current situation seeped in and settled somewhere in the pit of her stomach. 

“Oh, no?” Winn repeated coolly with a disconcerting level of calm considering their predicament. James and Kara warily watched as their tech expert carefully pulled free the napkin that was resting beside his plate, and gently laid it across his lap. He then took a deep breath, turned to face Kara and whispered as he jerked his head to indicate their surroundings, “‘Oh, no.’ That’s a fu- fricking understatement, wouldn’t you say?”

“Oookay. Let’s just stay calm.” James jumped in, attempting to make his voice as soothing as possible to help temper the fury building in his best friend. With his right hand, James reached across the the table and rubbed Winn’s shoulder reassuringly as he proclaimed, “It’s not that bad.”

“Not that bad?! Not that bad?!” WInn spluttered indignantly, his voice going up a few octaves as his volume increased exponentially, attracting the attention of their other table companions and a few people sat on tables nearby, all of whom shot the CatCo team disapproving glances and made a big show of returning to listening to the speaker.

“Shhh!!!” Kara and James simultaneously ordered, both clamping a hand over Winn’s mouth.

Kara and James both kept their hands covering Winn’s mouth until he nodded his assent to the silent plea for him to be quieter. Now free to speak, Winn looked between his two best friends sandwiching him at the table and deadpanned with an expression of total sincerity, “You both seriously need to rethink your definition of  _ bad _ . Because this a sh-shugarshow.”

Kara hated to admit it… but WInn was right this time.

The truth is, it wasn’t just a sugarshow, it was a full on  _ shitshow. _

And Kara did not take swearing lightly.

Yesterday, had been amazing which is probably why this particular moment in time felt especially bleak. 

Yesterday, the CatCo team had returned to the Observatory following what Snapper commented was probably Kara’s best work to date, ‘The Heroes of National City’. Although, Snapper did immediately amend his statement to include the fact that Kara’s best work was still mediocre, despite that Kara had been over the moon. 

Their second trip to the Observatory had gone ten times better than the first in so many ways. When they got there at least five different tour guides stepped forward offering to give the foreign journalists a personal tour, though in retrospect Kara did recognise that four of them purely only offered in the hope of asking about their favourite Skylark player whilst the fifth one only offered as he wanted to deny his compatriots the chance (he was a Reignhold Lions fan, himself). The CatCo crew turned down the numerous offers citing, much to Dunn’s secret pleasure (which Kara could now identify after their Skylark tour by the way the Captain’s top lip would twitch ever so slightly with the desire to form a smile), that they had already been given a fantastic and highly informative tour earlier that week. It then only took them half-an-hour or so to gather the necessary quotes from visiting Theonians to accompany their piece on the Observatory. 

The rest of the morning was spent simply talking to the Theonians who were willing to give them more of their time to talk about their lives. The Theonians were far more willing to talk to the journalists following the article on the Skylarks, and the CatCo team were quick to capitalise on this. The local citizens were still stand-offish about their pasts specifically related to King Lex’s reign and Kara was quickly coming to realise that this unwillingness to speak of dark days and past troubles might actually be a cultural trait. 

She had seen it in Lena, and in the ministers she had interviewed so far (most obviously in M’gann), it was as if the entire nation shared the same stoic characteristic of refusing to dwell on their personal hardships. The most uncomfortable Kara had ever seen Lena was when she had shared a glimpse of the cruelty she had experienced at the hands of those who wished to only use her for her crown. At first, Kara had put this down to Lena’s nervousness regarding the apology and taking responsibility, now Kara wondered if it was linked to Lena having to fight so hard against what her country had in-built her with. It added to the complexity of this country Kara was already enamoured with, and the blonde couldn’t wait to learn more, to find out if her theory was true and if so how it had developed over time and how it manifested in other ways in the present day.

Yesterday afternoon had seen the CatCo crew return to the Palace where they carried on working on various pieces. James and Winn were working on a photo diary of sorts to go on the website that explained in captioned photos what the team had been upto for each day in Theonia. Kara put the finishing touches to her Observatory piece, got James to check and edit it then sent it to Snapper for him to rip to pieces. The rest of the day was spent preparing and researching for the brunch tomorrow which would allow the international media outlets to rub shoulders with Theonia’s elite business moguls. Speeches were to be given first, then food followed by a golden hour in which they would be free to seek out and interview the business leaders for their own benefit. Research was crucial in ensuring that they didn’t waste a second of that golden hour. 

James and Winn retreated to their room to watch a film giving Kara the opportunity to return to her favourite place in the Palace to spend time with someone who was quickly becoming one of her favourite people. Kara had stopped trying to justify why the best part of her trip had been learning to make a Cottage Pie, listening to Lena sing along to Kara’s pop tunes and watching Lena frown in confusion whilst she tried to understand the disney film Kara acted out.

Kara tried to make the night last as long as possible, but both their work and the need to be well-rested required them to part, however Kara still fell asleep with a smile on her face knowing she would see Lena again tomorrow. 

Saturday morning brunch was to take place at the prestigious National CIty hotel, ‘The Blue Bell’. The three buses they hadn’t used for the last few days reappeared and transported the news media cohort to the hotel. Kara, Winn and James took the bus journey to catch up with their colleagues from other outlets, Kara finally got to meet her own personal hero, Grace Mayweather who complimented Kara on her last few articles and even went so far as to say she was a fan. Kara instantly turned into a rambling mess following that, James had to literally drag her away when she lost the ability to form a coherent sentence. 

All Kara could think, though at the time, was she couldn’t wait to tell Lena and that really should have told her more than it did about her feelings towards the other woman.

The reporters milled around outside the event hall holding light conversations with the other attendees. James got some great quotes from a senior executive at a major Theonian car manufacturer, Winn bonded with a computer developer whilst Kara found herself in an surprisingly fascinating conversation with an infrastructure specialist. The call to the event hall were brunch was to be held followed not to soon after, and Kara, James and Winn found the placards indicating their seats and settled in for the speeches.

It wasn’t until the first speech ended and people began to applaud that the CatCo team realised their predicament. 

Their predicament involved them and their chairs, specifically the fact that they could not move without taking their high back seats with them. 

They had been superglued to their chairs.

Winn was right. ‘Oh, no’ didn’t even begin to cover it.

“We just need a plan.” Kara said with a determined nod of her head, as she applauded the accountant who had successfully put the entire hall to sleep with his thirty minute description of the importance of keeping meticulous records to ensure a healthy business. 

“Alright, what do you suggest?” WInn demanded with a tired huff as his eyes drooped with boredom.

Kara opened her mouth then immediately shut it and deflated. The next speaker was making his way to the podium as Kara made the decision that the most senior member of their team should come up with the plan of attack. “Uhh… James?”

James let out a deep sigh and shrugged helplessly as he stated a single word, “Wiggle.”

“Wiggle?” Winn scoffed, the absurdity of his friend’s suggestion making him cross his arms over his chest and slump down in his chair to give James and Kara the full effect of his most petulant pout, “That’s the masterplan?”

James pursed his lips tightly and narrowed his gaze at the tech expert as he questioned, “Do you have something better?”

Winn paled, quickly sitting up straight to avoid admitting he had nothing to offer, he cleared his throat and said enthusiastically, “Okay… so, wiggle on the count of 3… 2… 1… wiggle.”

Kara wiggled as directed, shifting from side to side boisterously, her movement (and her colleagues) hidden to some degree by the round of applause that welcomed the third and final speaker before food was to be served. 

Kara was wearing burgundy chinos and a dark blue shirt with a light blue pattern on it. It was one of her favourite outfits, mostly due to the practical pocket space that came with her trousers and how comfortable it was to wear, and now it came with the accessory of a chair. Kara didn’t think it added much to the look. 

She was glued so well that the chair wobbled and struggled to remain upright, yet there was absolutely no loosening from the wooden seat itself. 

“Alright. Did anyone feel any give?” James panted out in question, as he stopped his shaking from side to side.

“Not even a pinkie finger worth.” Kara admitted, wiping the light sheen of sweat that had built up on her forehead away with the back of her hand.

“God, where did he get this superglue?” Winn whined out as he wrapped his fingers around the bottom of his seat and tried to push himself out of his chair with pure physical strength (something the young man wasn’t renowned for). Winn’s face turned a bright red with the strain, and Kara instinctively reached out for her friend fearful he might pass out with the effort. Eventually, Winn fell forward with fatigue, the only thing stopping his face from slamming into the empty plate in front of him was Kara’s firm hand on his shoulder supporting him. “He should market it as a goddamn military weapon.” 

Kara didn’t need to ask who  _ he  _ was. 

They all knew who it was the second they realised the situation. They didn’t even need to voice it. It could only have been one person.

Mike Matthews. 

Even if they hadn’t been too sure who had done it; Kara was acutely aware that Mike had been watching the three of them from his table across the room since they had sat down. He had a smarmy smirk in place that Kara wanted to knock off his face with a well-placed slap, not that she ever would, she was highly against violence despite having broken Winn’s and Snapper’s noses but that didn’t mean she would deny herself the minor fantasy. 

“New plan.” Kara declared, dragging her eyes away from the smug LYNX reporter when he shot her a particularly disturbing wink. She forced a huge smile in the hopes of adding a positive atmosphere as she stated confidently, “We wait out the brunch and then once the coast is clear we make our escape.”

James and Winn blinked once at her, then turned to face each other having one of those unspoken conversations with wide eyes and frowns. Kara’s smile faltered as the boys turned back to face her with uncertain expressions. 

Winn bit his lip and murmured, “Like turtles…?”

Kara’s eyes glazed over as she realised exactly what the three of them would look like if they made their escape still attached to their newest accessories.

Like turtles.

That’s what they would look like. Hunched over, hobbling along with heavy wooden chairs stuck to their asses.

It could be worse, Kara repeated to herself over and over again.

Lena wasn’t here to see this. 

That was her silver lining. Lena would never know. 

“Yes… like turtles.” Kara lifted her chin defiantly and said proudly, “They are dignified creatures… with a long lifespan.”

“Right now,” Winn muttered forlornly, “I really wouldn’t mind a short lifespan… like the next five minutes kind of short.” 

“You’re such a drama queen.” James remarked with a fond roll of his eyes at his best friend’s antics.

“I know, but it works for me.” Winn replied with a mischievous smirk and a unworried roll of his shoulders.

Kara shook her head in amusement at the exchange, “So we’re agreed? Wait and turtle.”

Winn and James exchanged another look that ended with a defeated nod and both of them confirming their agreement, “Wait and turtle.”

It turns out thinking ‘it couldn’t get worse’ was like throwing a challenge down that the universe just had to answer. 

Things could most definitely get worse.

And worse came in the form of what would have been a highlight of Kara’s day.

Lena.

As the final speech came to an end, the doors to the conference hall were pulled open by two soldiers flanking it on either side, and in swooped the Queen, dressed in business attire that fitted perfectly with the Theonian business leaders present. Black pencil skirt, silky green shirt, black blazer and her signature high heels that still terrified Kara with their height. Kara took in her entire appearance, her jaw dropping open in admiration and desire, not realising how overtly she was checking out the Queen until Winn nudged her sharply in the ribs with his elbow, giving her a curious and amused eyebrow raise. 

It was then that Kara realised that upon the Queen’s entrance, everyone had gotten to their feet, even James and Winn were awkwardly stood, hunched over with their chairs as close companions. Kara scrambled to get up, falling without a single ounce of grace into the table causing the laid out glasses, cutlery and crockery to shake. Thankfully, no one noticed her near fall or the fact that the CatCo team seemed intimately linked to their chairs since their table was at the back of the room and everyone appeared unable to take their focus off the Queen for even a second (Kara understood the feeling). 

Lena strolled in confidently, her Queen persona and charm at its fullest in that moment, captivating the entire audience. The Queen took to the stage and elegantly waved her hands, allowing people to reclaim their seats (for those who had left theirs anyway). 

Kara was vaguely aware as her chair returned to the floor that Lena was speaking, giving thanks to everyone who was attending and talking about the key role businesses have come to play in Theonian life and culture. Kara, however, didn’t take in a single word, instead the only coherent thought she had was related to how that green shirt Lena was wearing made her eyes positively luminescent. 

It wasn’t until Lena departed the stage and took her seat at the head table that Kara was able to regain awareness of her surroundings. James and WInn were both watching her with pitying expressions that Kara didn’t comprehend until Winn pointed to the corner of her mouth, Kara immediately raised her hand to rub at the indicated spot only to find some drool. 

Well now, at least, things couldn’t get any worse Kara thought as she wiped her face clean with her napkin.

She was inevitably wrong.

Pancakes, omelettes, scrambled eggs, bacon, hash browns, pastries and so many other wonderful food items were served around the tables. Kara had never been so thankful for there not to be a buffet. As the food was steadily being finished off, the journalists were finally let loose to mingle and interact with other people. The CatCo picked at their remaining scraps of food as they enviously watched their colleagues go to work.

That’s when it got worse.

“Hey, how’s my favourite CatCo reporters?”

Kara couldn’t stop the loud groan of misery from escaping as Mike slid into the vacated seat next to her, the only joy she took from his sudden apparition was that he still had a minor green tint to the roots of his hair.

“You son of a-” Winn began to spit out through clenched teeth, his hands curled into tight fists. 

“What do you want, Mike?” Kara quickly cut in, preventing Winn from causing a scene. 

Mike’s smirk turned into his characteristic boyish grin, as he reached over to pat Kara’s forearm affectionately. “Can’t I stop by to see how my old friends are doing?” Mike asked saccharine sweetly, his eyes twinkling with malicious intent.

“We are not friends.” Kara declared without hesitation, her tone cutting and to the point as she jerked her arm free and quickly crossed them over her chest.

“Oh, Kara you wound me.” Mike replied, resting his chin on the palm of his hand as he settled fully at the table, his eyes fixed on Kara’s cold blue ones. “You’ve become cruel during our years apart.”

“Just leave us alone, Mike.” James requested with a hard stare and twisted frown on his face that Kara knew could make even Snapper comply without too much resistance.

“I’m quite comfortable here, thank you.” Mike admitted adding an over-the-top charming wink to his statement. “If you don’t like being around me…” Mike suggested, leaning forward to ensure he had all the CatCo reporters’ attention as he finished off by whispering, “why don’t you get up and walk away?”

A stunned, uncomfortable silence fell over the table as the three friends realised that they had no escape. Mike would drag out this event for as long as possible, with the sole aim of ruining the event for them or angering them enough to react.

Kara hated that he had this power over them and she decided to take a leaf out of her sister’s book tp bring it to a swift end.

She forced a wide, beaming smile and took a large bite out of the pastry on her plate, purposefully turning her head to ignore Mike. “James, these croissants are incredible, don’t you think?” Kara asked politely of her friend who’s dark expression shifted into confusion.

“Uhh… yeah, I guess?” James replied with a shrug as he glanced between Mike and Kara.

Mike annoyed at Kara’s attempt to ignore him, shuffled closer to the blonde, leaning into her personal space as he began to boast, “Kara, did you hear how many hits my most recent vid-”

“This orange juice is perfect to wash them down with.” Kara continued, completely unresponsive to Mike’s words as she chugged down the last mouthful of her drink. “Ah, looks like I’m out.” She said regretfully, “Winn, could you be so kind as to pass me the jug?” Kara pointed to the large jug a waiter had left at the table a few minutes earlier.

“You know, I heard CatCo has lost more subscriptions in the past year than-” Mike continued belligerently, his frustration getting the better of him to such a degree he didn’t notice how unsteadily Kara was transporting the jug Winn had just given her.

“Oh, dear!” Kara yelled out as she deliberately poured the orange juice into the LYNX reporter’s lap. “How clumsy of me!”

“WHAT THE FU-” Mike shouted as he jolted to his feet, his mouth turning into a snarl as he looked between an innocent looking Kara and the yellow stain on his beige trousers.

“Be careful, Mike. You should know how to act when in front of an audience.” James interrupted jerking his head to the side to indicate the numerous eyes that had snapped round to observe the scene currently unfolding. 

“Screw you.” Mike whispered harshly, his nostrils flaring and his eyes turning into fiery pools of loathing before he spun round and stormed off, presumably to find the bathroom and clean up.

“Nice one, Kara.” Winn cheered, tugging Kara into a side hug once the onlookers had returned to their conversations.

“Good move.” James agreed with an approving nod.

The three of them remained where they were for the rest of the event, watching forlornly as everyone else moved about the room. Kara suggested they played a game of ‘eye spy’... her friends weren’t so keen if the unamused glares aimed at her were anything to go by. So to cheer herself up, Kara allowed herself to indulge in admiring Lena sweep around the room from person to person, exuding charm and confidence. Time went much quicker whenever Kara caught a glimpse of mesmerising green. 

Finally, the event came to an end. Everyone returned to their tables as Lena gave another quick and sincere speech, thanking people for coming and wishing them the best. Lena then departed, meaning the CatCo team had to stand awkwardly at the back until she had cleared out off the room. Once the Queen had left, everyone slowly got to their feet and headed out, the other journalists quickly filtering out to make towards the buses waiting for them. 

“Alright, we’re… alone.” Winn muttered with a raspy voice as the doors to the hall closed with a loud click behind the last few stragglers who had indulged a little too heavily in the champagne that had been made available. 

“Could you have made that sound anymore creepy?” James inquired as Kara shivered at the sinister tone Winn had used which had made the deserted hall appear extra ominous. 

“Eh… probably.” Winn replied with a dismissive shrug.

James rolled his eyes at the cheeky grin WInn flashed him, “So, give it five minutes then make a break for it?” 

Kara and Winn mumbled their agreement, all of them glancing down at their phones to watch the seconds tick by.

“Miss Danvers? Mr Schott? Mr Olsen?” A calm voice called out that had the CatCo team’s eyes going wide with fright and them trying to appear as nonchalant as possible. Captain Dunn stepped further into the room, scanning it with a sweeping gaze, his head stopping when he spotted them. “They’re in here, Ms Arias.” Dunn said, gesturing to the open doorway which Sam immediately stepped through. Dunn pointed to the CatCo team who waved shyly at the two of them. Dunn and Sam shared a confused look before marching across the room to their table.

“Are you all okay?” Sam asked once she was closer, her face scrunched up in concern as she looked between the rather statuesque reporters. 

James, Winn and Kara without looking at each other all replied at once, their voices overly neutral.  

“Perfect.”

“Fantastic.”

“Never better.”

Dunn and Sam both blinked repeatedly in surprise as they looked between the three seated journalists.

“Are you sure?” Sam repeated, not even remotely convinced by their answers or the way they all nodded vigorously in response. 

“You didn’t come out with the other journalists,” Dunn revealed simply, “and Her- umm… I... uhh... mean Ms Arias”, Dunn cleared his throat and kept his eyes away from Kara at that moment, “noticed you were rather subdued during brunch.”

Lena had noticed, of course she had, Kara thought. 

Lena already knew Kara better than most which should have surprised Kara more than it did, not to mention Lena had also known how excited Kara had been about the brunch. Kara not getting up and talking to people would have made Lena concerned, the only thing that startled Kara was that Lena must have been paying as close attention to her as Kara was paying to Lena. That sent such a pleasant buzz through her veins that Kara didn’t realise until too late that Winn and James had shifted the burden of answering onto her.

“Uhhh… James?” Winn prompted, nudging the senior member of their team.

“Uhhh… Kara?” James announced, the sound of her name, pulling Kara back to reality with a sharp tug.

“Not fair.”  Kara whined under her breath, before she smiled nervously at her Theonian friends, “We’re fine. We were…. Err… just having a team strategy meeting…” Kara lied, cringing as she did so. 

“Oh, ok.” Sam mumbled, tilting her head to the side as she assessed the situation, “Umm… Well, I’m sorry to tell you this, but this room has been booked out for a wedding reception and the staff need to start setting everything up.”

Kara swallowed thickly as a ringing sound appeared in her ears, “Right… so we need to leave.”

“Yes, Miss Danvers.” Captain Dunn affirmed with a nod of his head.

“So we need to get up and walk out the door.”

“Yes, Miss Danvers.”

“And we need to do that… right now…”

“Yes, Miss Dan-”

“Is everything alright in here?” Kara’s heart sank faster than the titanic at the same time as it began to race faster than a hummingbirds upon hearing a familiar soft yet clipped voice which had that unique inflection that made the listener feel utterly cared for.

“Your majesty.” Sam deferentially curtsied and Dunn bowed respectfully as they greeted their Queen who was striding towards their table with an anxious expression.

Worried green eyes quickly sought out and met Kara’s shy blue ones causing the blonde to blush an astonishing red as she ducked her head. Lena, with her long purposeful steps, reached them in a matter of seconds. It was then that a long, awkward pause took place as the CatCo team accepted their fate.

They knew what they had to do.

All of three of them kept their gaze cast downwards and let out a weary sigh as they simultaneously got to their feet and mumbled despondently, “Your majesty.”

The atmosphere felt almost as heavy as the chair stuck to Kara’s backside in that moment. 

No one said anything for what felt like an eternity. The only positive thought Kara had was that at least it wasn’t as bad as when she broke the statue, however, that merely made her cheeks turn even redder as she relived the horror of that past event.

God, there was absolutely no way Lena could ever be attracted to her, Kara admitted to herself.

“Oh my god.” Sam said, emphasising each word as her voice cracked and croaked with poorly suppressed laughter. Kara sneaked a peek upwards to see that Sam’s lips were trembling and her eyes were tearing up whilst Dunn was staring at anything but them, his lip twitching aggressively.

Ever so slowly, Kara glanced over at Lena. The raven haired woman’s eyebrows were raised so high they were close to her hairline, a pale hand was clasped over her mouth and her eyes were shining with mirth.

Another heartbeat of silence passed before Sam was turning sharply around and was rushing towards the door, letting out a loud roar of laughter as she disappeared from sight.

The rest of the room watched the tour guide make her escape, the CatCo team deflating further whilst Dunn and Lena struggled to contain their own laughter. Lena cleared her throat, as she dropped her shaking hand away from her mouth, forcing a tight frown to hold in the giggle Kara knew was waiting just below the surface, “Well, errr… Captain Dunn, I trust you have this… uhhh… under control?” Lena directed her query at the soldier, avoiding looking at Kara as much as possible. 

Captain Dunn’s jaw tightened noticeably as he pulled himself together, “Yes, your majesty.”

“Very good. I’ll ummm… leave you to it then…” Lena muttered softy, waving her hands at the still awkwardly stood journalists who were all individually wishing for the ground to swallow them up whole.

“Yes, your majesty.” Dunn nodded, accepting the orders without complaint. With a final quick glance at Kara, Lena’s eyebrow twitching as she did so, the Queen swept out of the room. Kara, for the first time, felt a little bit of dread about her meet up with the Queen later, knowing the teasing and questions that would inevitably come her way.

“It could be worse.” Kara announced, mostly to try and cheer herself up rather than her two friends.

“How?” Winn demanded to know.

Kara opened her mouth to reply but no sound came out, “Umm...I can’t think of anything at the moment, but give me some time.”

“How much time?” James queried as Dunn motioned for them to sit as he headed out to get supplies to free them.

Kara let her seat fall back to the floor as she replied with a helpless roll of her shoulders, “The lifespan of a turtle.”

It took over an hour for them to be freed from their wooden companions. Winn had been stuck so well to his seat in particular that they eventually had to cut him out of his trousers, the hotel kindly provided him with a replacement pair to wear back to the Palace. The buses had been forced to leave without them so Dunn drove them back to the Palace separately. The soldier only asked once if they would like to tell him what had happened, but the CatCo team remained silent on the matter. Dunn allowed them their secrets and didn’t push for more, endearing himself further to Kara and her friends. 

Upon arriving back at the Palace, Kara changed her trousers, devastated that her favourite pair chinos were probably beyond saving, due to the stain and the worn out pattern caused by the glue. Once she had changed, they had very little turn around to get ready for their next interview with the Health minister. Thankfully, Kara had done most of her prep for the interviews before arriving in Theonia, she simply had to tweak some of the questions to reflect what she had already learned during her stay here. 

Kara had decided to have two main focuses of the interview, how the medical system in Theonia currently worked and what the minister was hoping to learn from the wider world with regard to medical treatments. The health minister was a jovial, enthusiastic woman who took great pride in learning as much as she possibly could about anything and everything. She was one of the most openly excited Theonian about integrating with international community that Kara had met so far. The minister couldn’t wait to learn about any and all medical advances they hadn’t figured out themselves and to do her best in bringing them to her fellow countrymen. 

The health system in Theonia was very similar to the National Health Service currently in place in the United Kingdom, Lena’s grandfather King Benedict had been the second son and was seen as unlikely to rule, due to this he was allowed to pursue some of his own interests like earning a medical degree. When his brother passed due to a strain of scarlet fever, Benedict was forced to take the throne and he made improving patients’ lives his top priority, which is where the ‘Theonia Care Programme’ came from. 

Following the interview, the rest of the day passed like most of the others, writing up articles from the day. Fortunately for the team the conservations they had managed to have with the three business people before the brunch had officially started was enough to scrape a mediocre article together though Snapper would definitely be tearing into them later about it. Tomorrow marked their only day off for the trip, Winn and James were giddy about getting to sleep in and taking a rest from typing, Winn had been whining that he was in danger of repetitive strain injury. Kara was simply excited that without having to get up early she could stay even longer with Lena that night.

Kara nervously entered the kitchen later that evening on tiptoe, the blonde was slowly becoming convinced that Lena had requested for Kara not to be stopped by any of the security guards as she was certain that at least two soldiers had spotted her during her latest two excursions to the kitchen but none had stopped her, in fact they had appeared to abruptly turn back the way they had come to avoid seeing her. 

Lena was already waiting for her, two glasses of wine laid out for both of them; Lena had taken to introducing Kara to the various wine brands made in Theonia and Kara was pleasantly surprised to find them sweet in flavour and that she already preferred them to her usual choice at home.  

“So-”, Lena began, drawing out the word, as Kara slowly approached the kitchen island Lena was sat at with that coy smile which always made Kara’s palms sweaty and her heart thump harder and faster than a drum.

“No.” Kara interjected immediately, holding up a finger in warning. Lena cocked an eyebrow in mild surprise and amusement at the order causing Kara to flush a bright pink as she realised that she might be the first person to ever do that to the Queen and get away with it. 

“You don’t know what I was going to say.” Lena replied with a dramatic pout that jutted out her bottom lip.

“Yes, I do.” Kara declared haughtily, crossing her arms over her chest, not as a defensive mechanism but to stop herself from leaning too much into Lena’s magnetic presence.  

“Alright, smartypants enlighten me.” Lena challenged, mirroring Kara’s crossed arms and narrowed eyes.

“Smartypants?” Kara snorted out, Lena’s flirty effect vanishing in the face of such juvenile language. 

“Yes, smartypants.” Lena muttered out in a mocking tone as she shook her head in warning, “Don’t try to distract me, it won’t work.”

Kara let out a heavy sigh, and fell into the stool next Lena, “Fine. You were going to ask why was I and my friends superglued to chairs.”

“No, I wasn’t.” Lena declared cheerily, obviously pleased with bucking Kara’s assumption.

“Err… you weren’t?” Kara queried, her hand moving to fidget with her glasses as she peered over at Lena who was watching her with green eyes filled with affection.

“Nope.” Lena said popping the word in much the same way Kara had done in the past. The idea that Lena was picking up one or two of her idiosyncrasies produced a warm, glowing feeling to build within her. “I was actually going to ask if you and your friends being super glued to chairs was in anyway linked to a certain other reporter’s hair being turned green?”

The warm feeling vanished, the colour drained from her face and her eyes darted wildly around the place as she stuttered out a weak denial unable to lie directly to those stunning green eyes, “Pfft… those are two… err… completely unrelated events.”

“Just a coincidence, then?” Lena suggested with an unimpressed expression.

“Uh huh.” Kara mumbled, fidgeting so hard with her glasses that she nearly knocked them off her face. 

“Hmmm… So there isn’t a prank war going on under my nose in  _ my  _ house?” Lena inquired innocently and Kara could feel the heat of those assessing green eyes evaluating her every reaction and move. 

“Errr…” Kara replied, her mind completely blank with anything that she could say to get her out of this well deserved interrogation.

“Think very carefully about your answer.” Lena intoned neutrally.

Kara hesitated for a few seconds before blurting out, “He started it.”

Kara watched as Lena’s brow furrowed and her lips curled into a soft smile, “I’m glad to see your careful thinking produced such a mature response.”

Kara pouted at what she had to admit was a fair comment and huffed out energetically, “It’s true, I wouldn’t lie.”

Due to how much time Kara had come to spend with Lena, Kara should be forgiven for forgetting that she wasn’t dealing with simply a dark haired woman with a love of cooking and a dry, flirty sense of humour. She was dealing with a Queen. A Queen who Kara should have been more than aware would do anything following her apology to make Kara feel protected and listened to. 

“What did he do?” Lena requested to know, her tone cold and Kara watched as her expression became dark, her eyes going distant and detached. A shiver ran down Kara’s spine at the commanding presence Lena was exuding, feeling not only guilty for causing it but also for reacting to it in a less than…  _ friendly  _ way...

Kara swallowed in a vain attempt to replenish the moisture missing from her now excruciatingly dry mouth, “He… it doesn’t matter.” Kara tried to backtrack.

“Kara.” Lena said softly, her hand falteringly reaching out for Kara’s that was lying on the marble countertop. Kara, however, showed no sign of doubt and moved to cover the last couple of centimetres between them, interlinking their fingers. Lena smiled shyly at the action and continued to speak soothingly as she stroked the back of Kara’s hand with her thumb. “If he’s done something to hurt you or your friends-”

“Lena, I swear it’s fine.” Kara interrupted, hating that she had caused that flicker of deep seated concern to appear in her green eyes, “It’s something we’re handling. And anyway,” Kara asserted forcing her usual optimism back into her tone, “it’s descended into light hearted pranks.”

“Light-hearted pranks? Really?” Lena repeated completely unconvinced but the dark, protective expression had disappeared as she focused on stroking Kara’s soft hand. 

“Yeah, you know stuff like wrapping all their belongings up in gift-wrap.” Kara explained with a light shrug, “Changing all the contacts in their phone to fictional characters so they don’t know who they are talking to. Switching sugar for salt in their kitchen. Stuff like that. Didn’t you ever do pranks when you were younger?” Kara eventually asked with a curious tilt of her head directed at the gentle woman beside her. 

“Err… yeah, I did.” Lena coughed out, her comforting movement stopping altogether as she added after a moment’s pause, “On my brother.”

“Le-” Kara began not wanting to bring up any bad memories for the other woman and wishing more than anything for Lena not to let go of her hand.

Lena didn’t let go instead she covered thier joined hands with her free one and squeezed Kara’s hand between them both, keeping her eyes on where they were joined, “I loved to make him laugh.” Lena continued, not allowing Kara to give her an out, “And I was never very good at jokes when I was younger,” Her voice became wistful and nostalgic causing Kara’s heart to go out to her, “I would say the punchline before the set up…” Kara chuckled at the confession, imagining a young and enthusiastic little girl who was so keen to make someone laugh that she screwed up the joke every single time. Kara loved the image. “But I was inventive. I came up with crazy hare-brained schemes all the time.”

“Like what?” Kara asked, yearning to learn more about Lena. To learn everything.

“Well...” Lena began bashfully.

“Come on, please…” Kara begged giving Lena the full effect of her puppy dog eyes.

Lena bit her lip and nodded to herself agreeing to speak so quickly that even Kara was impressed with how fast she had gotten Lena to cave, “There was this one time, I got my brother to believe his bedroom was haunted.”

“Seriously?” Kara said in shock, loving how Lena smiled equal parts guilty and proud. 

“Mmhmm.” Lena hummed demurely, “It took a lot of work but it was so worth it to see him go and tell Mother that he was being haunted by his great great grand-uncle, Admiral Nicholas.”

“How did you do it?” Kara had to ask, bouncing up and down in her seat ever so slightly in excitement. 

“A lot of prep work.” Lena admitted, looking off into the distance as she remembered, “Whenever he was studying in the library I would sneak in and plant a book on top of his that was opened to any page that referenced Admiral Nicholas. That planted the seed.” 

Lena started to explain, her hands twitching around Kara’s own, and the blonde knew Lena wanted to gesture and wave her hands about as she spoke. The warm feeling returned and grew into a blazing fire as she realised Lena didn’t  _ want  _ to let her hand go. 

“See, the Admiral went down with his ship during a particularly nasty storm off the coast of mainland Europe. Legend has it his spirit has been trying to return to the Palace since his death but he’s trapped at the bottom of the ocean along with the wreckage of his ship that was never found.” 

Kara listened attentively as Lena slipped comfortably into her role as narrator, her voice becoming warm as the story progressed. Kara had heard the tone once before when Lena had first begun the tour of the Palace. 

“Anyway, the next step was general messing about… moving things around his room, you know little things to unnerve him.” Lena continued with a mischievous smirk, ”Then I upped my game… I began to leave water puddles around his room, I wrote messages about the depths and darkness of the sea in Lex’s books.”

“Wow, you go all out, don’t you?” Kara whistled in admiration.

“When I care about something… yes.” Lena answered sincerely, her eyes fixed on Kara’s blue ones and the blonde knew exactly what Lena was really referring to… the apology and by extension  _ her _ .

Kara had never wanted to kiss anyone so much before in her life.

Every reason not to flew out of her mind under Lena’s soft gaze and even softer touch.

Just as Kara was about to lean forward...

“Then came the final piece…” Lena mumbled, ducking her head away from Kara’s bright blue ones and Kara’s heart instantly sank at the missed opportunity whilst her mind tried to tell her to be relieved for not crossing the line. “One night whilst he was sleeping, I snuck in and hung Admiral Nicholas’ portrait on the wall across from his bed. To this day I have no idea how I managed to do it without waking him up.” Lena flashed Kara a rueful grin, which eased the minor bout of sadness in Kara, “His scream in the morning had the entire Palace running into his room to investigate. I eventually owned up to it all, Mother was furious but Lex… he just laughed and told me had never been so proud of me for getting one over on him.” Lena let out a deep sigh and her eyes clouded over with a wave of memories.

“God, you and my sister would get on like a house on fire.” Kara joked, hoping to bring Lena back to the present, though she was being honest in her assessment. She could totally see Lena and Alex getting along, they had a similar dark humour which hid a heart of pure gold.

“You think so?” Lena questioned nervously, and Kara could see the hope in her eyes.

“Yeah, I do.” Kara affirmed fervently.

“Kara…” Lena murmured after clearing her throat, “I won’t push about the pranks with LYNX, I want you to have fun and this place could definitely do with some of that… but if anything happens that crosses the line…” Lena lifted one of her hands away from Kara’s to place a single guiding finger under the blonde’s chin to ensure she could see the sincerity in her face, “Let me or Sam or Captain Dunn know. We can be subtle if need be, but if he hurts you or crosses the line…” Lena arched a threatening eyebrow which made Kara tremble ever so slightly as Lena leant forward to whisper threateningly, “This Palace still has fully functioning dungeons.”

Kara gulped and nodded a promise to speak out if need be. Lena carefully removed her finger and Kara’s chin tingled with static energy after the loss. “Hopefully, Frank doesn’t come with them…” Kara muttered under her breath as Lena straightened and made to stand.

“Huh?” Lena inquired, having heard Kara say something.

“Nothing.” Kara answered far too quickly to remove Lena’s suspicion, so she decided to try again at futilely diverting her attention, “Um… so what I am learning today?”

Lena looked suitably unimpressed at the poor distraction attempt but obviously decided not to push it tonight. “Sushi.” Lena announced as she got to her feet and gestured for Kara to follow her, “You need to learn the importance of patience, precision and presentation.”

“And I always thought the three ‘P’s stood for practice, practice and practice.” Kara commented as Lena lead her towards a chopping board surrounded by various items of food.

“That’s just one P. Why repeat the word? That makes no sense.” Lena mumbled in confusion, her brow furrowing as she struggled to comprehend the turn of phrase.

“It’s…”, Kara trailed off deciding she would rather talk to Lena about other things than english idioms whilst they actually had time together, “Nevermind. Shall we begin?”

Lena smiled in agreement and instantly settled into her role as teacher as Kara started the music playlist she had created based on Lena’s rapidly developing taste in music. 

The playlist was switching steadily away from pop and closer to indie rock music with each evening. Lena’s major favourites so far were Oasis, Hozier, Florence and the Machine, OneRepublic and the occasional Fall Out Boy track. None of which were Kara’s preferred listening options but she adored watching Lena bop her head and sing the lyrics under her breath as she gave Kara a demonstration of what to do.

By the end of sushi class, Kara was actually impressed with how good what she had made looked. She snapped a few photos to show off to Alex later, then her and Lena ate up the food whilst finishing the bottle of white wine Lena had opened earlier. Lena revealed a few more of the pranks and hijinks she participated in with her brother when she was growing up and Kara strived to commit each story to memory mostly to add further detail to the picture of the young Lena she had developing in her head.

Eventually the plates were clear, the bottle was empty and the playlist had begun to repeat itself. It was past midnight, much later than they used stayed with each other but Kara (and Lena from the looks of things) were in no rush to part.

“So… err…” Lena stuttered out after there was a momentary lull between conversation topics.

“What?” Kara asked, taken aback by Lena’s uncertainty all of a sudden, wondering what she may have done to prompt it. Lena remained quiet and stared at Kara, anxiously biting her bottom lip. “Do I have something on my face?” Kara questioned, rubbing her hands over her features to clear any sauce or piece of rice that may have been stuck to her due to her less than well-mannered eating habits. “Where? I’m always doing this… Alex has told me a thousand times that I’m a messy eater. You should have seen me with spaghetti when I was younger, I used to get sauce everywhere. Even in my eyebrows, which I still don’t know how to this day.” Kara rambled away.

“Kara, you have nothing on your face, don’t worry.” Lena insisted, gently grabbing Kara’s wrists to prevent her from rubbing her face until it turned red. “I would have loved to have seen what you were like when you were younger.” Lena confessed softly as her thumbs stroked back and forth over Kara’s wrists before leading them back down the to the countertop,

“Ditto.” Kara agreed, thinking about the image she had been steadily constructing of a young Lena over the past couple of nights.

Lena smiled sweetly, and relinquished her tender grip on Kara, “Err… right, I was… um… going to ask if… I mean I totally understand if you can’t, it is last minute… and I won’t be offended…” Lena stumbled over her words, her hands moving this way and that as if to forcibly push aside Kara’s worries about rejecting whatever she was about to offer. “You know what, I’m just going to say it.” Lena declared, taking a deep breath as an element of the Queen’s persona took over her, giving the raven haired woman the confidence to push forward, “I know the journalists have tomorrow free, and if you don’t have any plans, I was wondering if you would like to spend the day with me?”

“A whole day? With you?” Kara gasped out, completely shocked by the suggestion and the feeling of sheer joy it evoked within her.

“You’re right, that’s too much to ask.” Lena instantly replied, a flash of disappointment passing over her face and in her eyes as she mistook Kara’s shock for disinterest, “We should just to stick to our evening meet-”

“No! Wait! I mean yes!” Kara rushed to correct, knowing she would hate herself if she missed out on any opportunity to spend even a second longer with Lena. “I would love to spend tomorrow with you.”

“Really?” Lena whispered hopefully.

“Yes.” Kara answered with a determined nod of her head, deciding to be just that little bit more truthful, “More than anything.”


	12. The Queen's Safeplace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I have this entire story planned out and have even got some major pieces of dialogue sorted in my head. But I figured you should all know (so you can all laugh at me along with Chariton) that when I first thought up this story I was convinced it would be max 80,000 words. 20,00 for Kara's journalist trip, 20,000 of other stuff (spoilers) and 40,000 for the actual engagement.
> 
> We are nearly at 80,000 words and still have a reasonable chunk of Kara's trip to go... What is wrong with me that I estimated that badly? I swear these scenes happened much faster in my head...
> 
> Anyway on with the show...

Lena’s eyes moved right to left mechanically and without pause as she read and absorbed each and every word. She barely even registered the passage of time as she was transported to another world full of magical possibilities. 

Lena had begun to read ‘Harry Potter’ the day after Kara had given it to her. She had read a couple of pages whilst she was waiting for her next meeting to start and had nothing else to do. That’s how it started. Lena would begrudgingly read a page here and there when she found herself in a suitable lull between meetings. By the next day, however, Lena was rushing through her reports as fast as she could in order to have five minutes in which to read a few more pages. So much as thirty seconds of free time was immediately filled by reading another paragraph or another sentence.

She was about halfway through the well-loved book, and finally had longer than five minutes to read as she was waiting for Kara to arrive in (what Lena had begun to refer to as)  _ their _ kitchen to spend the day together. Kara had asked what the plan for the day was, Lena, however, had insisted on keeping it a surprise, impressing even herself with the ability to withstand the full power of Kara’s pout.

“You’re reading it!”

Lena’s head jerked upwards upon hearing the gasped out declaration and she instantly saw Kara skipping across the kitchen, one of her largest and most uninhibited grins firmly in place. Lena took a second to catch her breath, half to get over the surprise of losing track of time and half to fully take Kara in with the morning sun lighting her up. The blonde was dressed in a new pair of dark jeans and a simple blue shirt that matched her eyes; her hair (which was like spun gold in the sunlight) was up and out of her face allowing Lena an unimpeded view of sapphire eyes and a bright smile. 

Lena shook her head, but was completely unable to rein in her own answering grin as she teased, “Good morning to you too. And yes… I’m reading it and I think I kind of love it.” Lena admitted as she carefully slotted her bookmark into place and set the book carefully down on the counter.

“I knew you would.” Kara replied, without an ounce of arrogance or ‘I told you so’ in her tone, as she came to lean against the counter next to Lena, her eyes flitting over Lena’s own appearance, presumably unused to seeing Lena not in full Queen dress or in her lazy, comfy clothes. This was Lena dressed like herself for the day, and it consisted of: black jeans, black boots, white shirt and a purple zip up hoodie. Kara’s gaze lingered for an extended period of time on the black boots and Lena cast her a curious look when she saw a hint of colour blossom across the blonde’s cheeks before her eyes snapped back up to meet Lena’s. She smiled shyly as she said, “No one can resist the charm of Harry Potter.”

“No, they can not.” Lena agreed, already planning on buying a copy of the book as soon as she could to gift to Ruby who she was certain would love it. 

Kara ducked her head and gestured down at her clothes as she murmured, “Um… so… err… thank you for the clothes. You didn’t have to do that.” 

Lena smiled, reaching out to rest a hand on Kara’s forearm reassuringly, pleased to find her action caused Kara’s momentarily stiff demeanour to instantly relax and de-tense. 

After Kara had left last night, Lena had arranged for one of her staff to run out and obtain the clothes Kara was currently wearing and leave them outside Kara’s room for her to find in the morning. Lena hadn’t worried about another journalist discovering the parcel knowing that since they all had a day off it was highly probable that most would be enjoying their only opportunity to lie in, meaning only Kara (and herself) would be up this early. The reason for the clothes was that Lena feared Kara might only have brought sensible or smart business attire for her trip; she remembered hearing how Kara had struggled to be involved in the rugby activities at the stadium due to the limited practicality of her clothes. Lena had simply wanted Kara to feel comfortable for the day, but she would admit to being beyond pleased with how good her suggested clothing looked on the other woman. 

Considering the humbleness and sweet nature of the journalist, Lena had also figured there was a good chance Kara would turn down the gift, not wanting Lena to doubt the sincerity of her friendship. Therefore to improve her chances of Kara keeping the gifts, Lena had purposefully requested for the price-tags to be removed and included a note in the parcel which told Kara the present was so that they could both enjoy today to the fullest.    

“I wanted you to feel comfortable for today.” Lena explained with a light shrug, knowing not to argue about not needing thanks with the ever proper and polite blonde.

“I do…” Kara replied sincerely, emphasising her words by vigorously nodding her head, “these are the comfiest jeans ever.” She declared, beginning to bounce up and down as if to prove this very fact with a demonstration (not that Lena would have minded having a reason to openly admire Kara’s legs in those form fitting jeans). “You… err… especially didn’t have to get me new trousers.” Kara coughed out, mildly embarrassed. 

Lena had to resist letting out a large sigh of relief that Kara hadn’t responded negatively to that added present, fearing she may have gone too far with it. Sam had told Lena yesterday, before meeting up with Kara in the evening, that Kara’s trousers had been more or less ruined by what was meant to be a ‘light-hearted’ practical joke (Lena still wasn’t convinced and had asked Captain Dunn to keep a close eye on things and let her know if she had reason to worry). Upon finding this out Lena had requested that when the staff member had gone to get practical clothes for Kara that they also get her a replacement pair of chinos, Lena gave a detailed description so that they could find something which was identical to replace those that were lost.

“A practical joke is only light-hearted fun if you don’t actually lose anything.” Lena remarked softly, deciding not to comment on Kara’s awkward frown, which didn’t help alleviate Lena’s concerns, yet she wanted to give Kara the same respect she gave Lena when it was clear she wasn’t ready to talk about something. “And anyway,” Lena continued, a proud smirk settling on her face, “it gave me a chance to show off Theonia’s fashion and textile industry. You don’t honestly think I would miss out on the opportunity to boast about my country, do you?”

The frown vanished to be replaced by a real grin which set Lena’s heart fluttering with joy.

“Not even for a second.” Kara teased before glancing around the room, “So… what’s the plan for today?” She asked attempting to be nonchalant but the way she was examining everything in the kitchen in the hopes of finding a clue for their plans easily gave her away.

“Well, the plan for right now is breakfast.” Lena announced, elegantly dropping off the stool she was sat on and moving towards Kara’s dreaded foe, the stove, by which she had already set up the various ingredients she intended use. “The plan for the rest of today is a national secret which I can’t reveal to you.” Lena flashed Kara a coy wink which had the blonde crossing her arms and huffing out a breath (Lena was waiting for her to stamp her foot like a small child denied a treat before bed).

“No fair… I hate surprises.” Kara whined, bringing out the heavy weapon of the pout.

“No you don’t.” Lena refuted, rolling her eyes as she walked back to lightly grab Kara’s arm and gently guide her to the cooking area. “You love surprises… you just hate the waiting. But you should know… the waiting is the best part.” Lena whispered knowingly, hip-checking Kara so that she was positioned in front of the hob.

“Hmmm… I don’t know if I agree…”, Kara muttered, giving Lena an over-the-top stink eye.

Lena scrutinised the exaggerated put out expression on her friend’s face as she bit her lip and leaned toward the blonde stood by her side to quietly ask, “Do you think you could give it a chance… for me?”

Kara glanced at Lena, her eyes going wide as she realised how close they were and she gulped visibly, “For you? Yes.”

“Perfect…” Lena murmured softly, shuffling back to give Kara her space, before she took a deep breath, “So, breakfast?”

Kara’s brow furrowed, her lips pursed and she began to tap her chin in a thoughtful manner, “I have a sneaky suspicion you’re going to use this as a teaching opportunity.”

Lena arched an eyebrow and smirked in amusement as she commented, “Wow your investigative skills are truly impressive.” 

“Why thank you.” Kara replied, placing her hand over her chest as if truly touched by Lena’s light ribbing, “It’s what makes me  _ such  _ a good journalist.” The blonde fluttered her eyelashes and though it was meant to be a joke, Lena found herself being drawn forward by the coquettish action.

Lena shook her head, clearing her mind to ensure she resisted crossing a line that she believed would inevitably make Kara uncomfortable. Instead of drawing out the joke, Lena gave Kara a soft smile, not wanting Kara to doubt for a second that Lena didn’t think she was incredible at her job and said honestly, “There are many things which makes you the best.”

Kara blushed and ducked her head before inquiring what she was learning to cook that morning. Her and Lena instantly fell back into their usual routine that they had established during their evenings together. Lena demonstrated how to make their various breakfast items, and Kara then repeated what she had seen. Lena seated herself on the counter by the blonde’s workspace, handing Kara whatever utensil she required and keeping a steady stream of conversation flowing between them, only making the occasional suggestion for here and there but, for the most part, trusting Kara to succeed.

Before too long, Kara had served up a feast that would probably be more than enough for a family of four. Lena watched with equal parts awe and horror, as she tended to every night, as Kara put away, barely stopping for air, an almost endless stream of omelettes, scrambled eggs, bacon, sausages, tomatoes and mushrooms.

Lena quickly realised that she loved having breakfast with the journalist because talking with her at the beginning of the day was wholly different to talking to her at night. 

At night they talked about what they had done and about their personal interests, whereas in the morning they talked about the future and what they wanted to achieve. Lena couldn’t help but find herself wanting an endless supply of both conversations and it hurt to think she was probably never going to get to see Kara like this again.

She was never going to get see Kara recharge and perk up the second she was exposed to the morning rays ever again.

She was never going to get to see Kara switch excitedly between the different breakfast foods, arguing with herself over which was was her favourite ever again. 

She was never going to experience the random conversations Kara would start (the blonde proclaiming her thoughts didn’t organise themselves until she had fully woken up) and the strange tangents she would switch to, ever again.

She was never going to see that morning-only sleepy, dopey smile on Kara’s face ever again.

Lena’s heart broke a little more with every new thing she noticed, but she endeavoured to catalogue every little detail and treasure them.

After breakfast, the two of them cleared and cleaned up together, Lena laughing freely as Kara splashed the bubbly water without a care in the world. Then Lena grabbed the backpacks she had prepared earlier, handing one to the blonde, before leading her through the twisty corridors of the Palace. Kara bounced excitedly along beside her, completely trusting Lena to guide her. Lena took them through a small side door out of the Palace into the extensive gardens, pausing every now and again to highlight a particular flower, tree or spot, sharing her favourite places. 

They followed a white stoned gravelled path that wound through ranks of tree sentinels guarding manicured lawns and perfectly preserved gardens; eventually they arrived in a clear space with a large wooden stable looming in front of them. Kara hesitated at this point, looking uncertainly between the sturdy, oak building and Lena. 

Lena merely held out her hand and watched in pure wonderment as Kara didn’t even hesitate to link their hands together and intertwine their fingers. 

Lena had never felt as strong or confident as she did in that moment before in her entire life, and it was all because Kara didn’t hesitate to trust her.

Didn’t hesitate to take her hand.

Lena felt invincible as she squeezed the warm hand in hers and held open the door, trying her absolute best to embody the chivalrousness her ancestors were known for. 

“Lena?” Kara muttered quietly after remaining silent for a long time.

“Yes?” Lena prompted, trying and failing to resist the playful smirk playing on her lips.

“That’s a horse.”

Lena and Kara were stood in front of one of the large, well-cleaned stalls that housed one of the largest horses Kara had probably ever seen. The horse was jet black, his mane straight and wild, and his eyes chestnut. His head was cocked to one side, his ears pricked upwards and he was watching the two women intently. The horse had focused on Lena at first, recognising his friend and companion but his attention shifted and stayed on Kara (Lena wondered if the intelligent creature was picking up on her feelings towards Kara or if he also found her utterly beguiling on his own).  

“Ah, good, you recognise it, I was mildly concerned from your look of shock that the rest of the world didn’t have any.” Lena deadpanned, scrutinising Kara’s uncharacteristically blank face in the hope of eliciting a smile, pushing the trepidation she had for this encounter as far down as she could.

“Haha.” Kara murmured sarcastically, but Lena noticed the familiar crinkle on either side of Kara’s bright blue eyes that revealed her attempt at humour had landed. 

Kara ducked her head and released Lena’s hand so she could rub self-consciously at the back of her neck as she shifted from foot to foot under the horse’s assessing gaze. With the sudden loss of contact, Lena’s confidence instantly began to ebb and wane, fear that Kara had changed her mind about wanting to spend the day together began to grow in its place.  

“Lena… I… err… don’t know how to ride.” Kara coughed out shyly, unable to meet Lena’s eye as she did so.

Lena exhaled in relief, realising that Kara’s uncertainty came from the activity rather than the company (hers and the horse). “I figured.” Lena replied good-humouredly as she reached out to take back Kara’s hand once it had fallen back to the blonde’s side. “Do you trust me?” Lena inquired tentatively, her fingers brushing the back of Kara’s hand, as she stepped closer to the horse inviting Kara to step forward with her. 

Kara looked at her sharply, her face scrunched up as if personally offended by the question. “Of course.” Kara answered firmly and without hesitation causing a buzzing surplus of energy to thrum through Lena’s veins as she regained her invincibility.

“Then allow me to introduce you to Loki.” Lena said, opening the gate into the stall and gliding forward to gently stroke Loki’s neck with her free hand.

“I take it back,” Kara gulped, eyeing the large beast warily, “that’s not a horse… that’s a mythical creature. He’s huge.”

Lena didn’t bother to argue with the assessment, especially since it was accurate and if life had taught her anything picking your battles was most definitely one of them.

Loki was definitely larger than your average horse, he lacked the leanness of a racehorse and the pomp of a show horse. But he wasn’t overweight or unfit, he was obviously well-cared for by how his coat shone and how he showed no aggression towards a stranger in his space. Lena always liked to say Loki was suited to a marathon rather than a sprint due to his build. She had spent many long summer days, riding Loki from dawn to dusk and he never tired or lost interest in her attentions. 

“He’s the gentlest giant you’ll ever meet.” Lena affirmed, placing an affectionate kiss on her horse’s cheek, producing an appreciative huff of breath and bow of the head. Lena kept her eyes locked with the chestnut brown ones that always stared back with an overwhelming amount of love, as she admitted, “He’s the only one I trust with you.”

“Oh…”, Kara breathed out in surprise and Lena knew the journalist was studying her closely, trying to work out the true depth and meaning behind her statement.

“Come closer…” Lena encouraged trying to distract the blonde from figuring out all her secrets. She lightly tugged Kara forward to stand fully beside her and watched in amazement as Loki nudged gently at Kara’s shoulder with his nose, inviting her to take up the petting that Lena had stopped. “See he likes you.” Lena whispered, loving how Kara’s eyes were lighting up with joy as she spent time with Loki.

“Really?” Kara asked, sounding genuinely surprised by the concept.

“What’s not to like?” Lena teased, though she was one hundred percent serious. Lena stepped back, allowing Kara and Loki to get properly acquainted. Lena was impressed with how quickly Kara worked out where Loki liked to be stroked, and how she didn’t seem even remotely embarrassed to start a one-sided conversation with the horse. Kara spoke softly to the horse, providing a running commentary of what she was doing, how majestic Loki looked whilst also asking him questions and pretending like he had answered. Lena was unbelievably tempted to scratch her plan for today to instead remain in that stall just watching Kara be her normal, charming, breathtaking self. 

Eventually, the desire to be the one to have Kara’s attention (Lena would never admit to being jealous of her horse, even if she was), gave her the strength she needed to interrupt and get them all moving whilst it was still early.

“Okay, let’s get you up, shall we?” 

Kara looked from Lena to Loki to the floor and back to Loki, her mouth twisting into an apprehensive frown, “I think I might need a running jump to get up there.”

“Scaredy-cat.” Lena remarked, raising an eyebrow in challenge.

Kara blinked rapidly before shaking her head in amusement, “Do you only know childish insults?”

Lena shrugged and waved a hand dismissively, “I promised Sam I would cut back on my ‘grown up’ words. We’re trying to make sure her daughter isn’t negatively influenced.”

Lena rolled her eyes as Kara shot her an ‘aren’t you just adorable’ smile that would totally undercut the ever professional queen persona she had been cultivating for the last few years. “That’s sweet.” Kara said, musical laughter following her words.

“Pfft…” Lena snorted, attempting to hide the schoolgirl blush working its way down her neck and chest that always appeared after hearing Kara’s laughter, “Alright, up you get. I’ll help you up.” Lena promised, moving round to adjust the stirrups on the saddle that she had asked to be placed on Loki earlier that morning. Once, she had everything ready, she gestured for Kara to come closer, explaining how to safely mount Loki and reasserting that she (and Loki) wouldn’t let anything happen to her.

After taking a deep breath, Kara hoisted herself up, Lena giving her a boost where needed, and settled into the saddle with only a minor amount of wobbling and unsteadiness. 

“I did it! I’m up!” Kara cheered with childlike glee, barely resisting the desire to clap her hands together but fearing that she would lose her balance and fall.

“Well done.” Lena applauded, truly delighted by Kara’s achievement and her own achievement of being able to resist staring unashamedly at Kara’s tightly pulled jeans when she was getting in the saddle. “Let me just get my horse and we’ll be on our way.”

Lena was now at least fully reassured that setting up this horse ride with Kara was definitely going to be worth the four hour long lecture from Lucy come Monday morning. She had yet again broken the cardinal rule and had informed her guards less than twenty four hours of the change in plan. Thankfully, her royal guards had been more than able and willing to sweep the route she was going to be taking Kara an hour or so earlier without too much difficulty. Her guards would then be positioned along the path, hidden from sight, to keep her and Kara protected, though Lena had no intention of telling Kara this and making her feel uncomfortable with how much work had to go on behind the scenes to let Lena go only a couple of miles outside of the Palace grounds.

Since Kara was riding Loki (Lena’s preferred horse companion), Lena was left with riding one of the cavalry regiment’s (a ceremonial branch of the military) steeds. Her horse was a light brown colour, with a white marking between his eyes, he was graceful but definitely had a mischievous streak and was constantly testing to see what he could get away with. Due to not knowing his name, Kara begged for the chance to give him a nickname. Lena gave in to the plea almost immediately and she couldn’t help but send up a silent thanks to whoever was listening that Kara wasn’t around during the war since she would have been rendered completely useless to her people by so much as a slight pout thrown her way.

Kara promptly named the noble steed ‘Peaches’.

Lena wasn’t surprised that her horse seemed to prance proudly upon be given the nickname.

She would probably prance around if Kara ever gave her nickname or called her a term of endearment. 

Lena and Peaches led the way down a dirt path, Loki following dutifully without the need for direction from Kara, who merely sat back and enjoyed the sights being shown to her.  

“I hope this is alright but I wanted to show you the side of my country that you probably won’t get to see on your journalist tour.” Lena murmured once the path through the trees widened up enough for their two horses to walk side by side comfortably.

“This is incredible.” Kara sighed out, her neck crooked upwards to catch flashing glimpses of the morning sunlight through the emerald leaves. “I can’t get over how tall the trees are and how green everything is.”

Lena smiled, relishing the expression of amazement on Kara’s face, “Not a lot of nature in Metropolis or Midvale?”

“None in the city,” Kara replied, shaking her head wistfully as her eyes glazed slightly remembering what her home looked like, “and Midvale was a beach town more than anything else. I’m glad you’re showing me this.” Kara shot Lena a genuine grin before going back to appreciating the views.

“Me too.” Lena whispered in honest agreement, too quietly to be heard by her companion. Lena cleared her throat, trying to move past the moment between them without being too obvious, “I try to take Loki out for a trip every couple of weeks or so… but I get out less than I would like.”

“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” Kara singsonged as she ran her fingers through Loki’s mane.

Lena’s brow furrowed in confusion, “Who’s Jack?” Kara tilted her head in amusement at the question, “Oh, is this one of your sayings?”

“Yes, it is.” Kara chuckled and Lena didn’t mind in the slightest that her social faux pas was the cause, happy to simply observe Kara’s good mood.

A thought, however, struck Lena with a jolt, “You… er… don’t think I’m dull… do you?”

“Not even slightly.” Kara waved her hands so vigorously to refute the suggestion she almost fell out of the saddle, thankfully Loki shifted his weight to keep her balanced. “I just… uh…” Kara spluttered, gripping the edge of the saddle again as she swayed back and forth, “It just… hurts to think that you don’t get any time for yourself or what you want.”

Lena felt all the air leave her lungs in one big rush. Kara had barely been concentrating on what she was saying, had barely even spared a glance at Lena as she struggled to stay upright but she had spoken so easily and certainly. Kara had spoken as if being hurt by the mere concept of Lena not being happy was the most natural and normal thing in the world. 

It was strange that the offhandedness of the comment made it far more meaningful. It was as uninhibited as Kara’s signature beaming grin, which was currently being directed at Lena as Kara straightened fully back up in the saddle finally resettled.

“I get today.” Lena murmured, surprising herself with her own vulnerable admission.

Kara’s large smile, softened immediately and her eyes twinkled with affection as she affirmed, “We get today.” Lena ducked her head, and resolutely stared forward, not trusting herself to speak without revealing even more of herself. “So I take it Loki is special?” The question and change of topic came after a minute or so of admiring the scenery. Lena glanced back round to see Kara’s eyes fixed on her (she wondered absentmindedly if Kara had even looked away during their silence), a thoughtful expression set on the journalist’s face, “You said you try to take  _ him  _ out, not just go riding.”

Lena wasn’t surprised that Kara had picked up on that specific piece of information earlier. 

Lena had quickly come to learn over the course of their interactions so far that the blonde was probably one of the most intuitive people she had ever met, it was probably what made her such an exceptional journalist. She knew how to read people and work out what’s important to them. Luckily for Lena, it would appear Kara had a blindspot when it came to herself.

“Loki was the first horse that was actually mine.” Lena explained with a light shrug as she admired the black horse whose ears had perked up, knowing he was being talked about. “I helped train him and cared for him since I was twelve. He was…” Lena cut off a second, feeling an embarrassed heat flood her cheeks. “I know how pathetic this is going to sound but it’s true… he was my best friend when I was a teenager, the only person who I could just be Lena with.”

“There’s nothing pathetic about that.” Kara said firmly, her jaw clenching slightly but Lena somehow knew Kara’s ire wasn’t directed at her but at whoever had been the one to make Lena think so little of herself. “After…”, Kara exhaled, releasing some of the tension coiling within her, “when I first went to live with the Danvers… I didn’t speak to anyone. Didn’t open up to anyone. I suffered panic attacks at a drop of a hat. Alex and I weren’t quite sisters yet… so I didn’t feel comfortable opening up to her.”

“Kara.” Lena murmured, she wanted to tell Kara she didn’t have to tell her anything just to make her feel better. Wanted to tell Kara that just the flash of deep care in her blue eyes was soothing to years’ worth of pain and torment.

Kara, however, purposefully ignored the interruption, ready and willing to share her own past for even the slightest glimpse of Lena's. “Anyway, our next door neighbour - this sweet old man who spent every second of his day tending to his garden even in winter -” Lena quirked a smile at the added detail, Kara could never resist not breathing life into everyone she met or spoke about, “had this mangy, flat faced, tabby cat. It would hiss and spit at anyone that got too close.”

“Except you.” Lena guessed, unable to imagine a single man, woman, child or animal in the entire world who could resist the magnetic pull and charm of one Kara Danvers.

“Except me.” Kara agreed with a humble roll of her shoulders, “That cat sought me out faster than a heat-seeking missile whenever I was on the edge of a panic attack. He would find me, curl up in my lap and purr rhythmically until I calmed myself down. That cat got me through some of the hardest days of my life…” Kara confessed her eyes scrunching up an almost imperceptible amount to fight of the sting of tears. 

Lena, at once, guided Peaches as close as she could to Loki, trusting her old friend to not retreat and keep Kara steady. Lena reached out and stroked calmingly and rhythmically over the back of Kara’s hand that was still tightly gripping the edge of the saddle, wishing she had the same ability as Kara, Loki and a mangy cat to alleviate some of life’s burdens. 

Kara let out a shaky breath, “So no... I don’t think there’s anything pathetic about having a horse as a best friend.” With the hand not gripping the saddle, Kara began to comb her fingers reverently through Loki’s mane, she glanced back at Lena sincerity shining in warm blue eyes, “And I can’t even begin to tell you how honoured I am to meet him”

The two women (along with Loki and Peaches), remained quiet for the rest of their journey choosing to simply enjoy the comfort provided by good company. Though, they had spent a number of nights talking and learning about one another, Lena didn’t find the silence between them stifling or awkward. In fact, she found it brought a new level of intimacy to their friendship. It was amazing what you could learn about someone without even speaking and the trust you could build by not feeling required or pressured to provide constant sound and conversation.

Eventually, they reached their lunch spot and main destination. Their stopping point appeared through an almost covertly hidden break in the trees. Upon riding through, they found themselves on a small, grassy knoll, that led down to a dark, pebbled shore and an expanse of water. The water itself was an unsettlingly obscure blue which prevented any sight of the creatures that lurked below let alone the depth or the bottom. 

On a good day with clear skies the other side of the lake was visible and seemed only a short swim away. Lena, however knew how prone fog was to coalesce around this tucked away natural secret. Many times when she was younger, when the fog had rolled in, thick and opalescent, Lena would pretend she was at the very edge of the world, that there was an entire new universe just beyond the grey shroud calling out to her. She knew it was a strange fantasy especially for one so young, but it was hers and it allowed her childish wonder to grow wilder than the Palace walls ever permitted. 

“Is this place, okay?” Lena inquired tentatively, having dismounted and moved to stand by to help Kara get safely to the ground. Lena gnawed her bottom lip as Kara’s eyes swept the surroundings, positively transfixed. Lena knew this place didn’t appear welcoming, the shadows here seemed to be a pitch black that not even the night sky could hope to emulate. It was a scary place but never towards Lena. It was sinister and threatening to others, but Lena had always found it protective. And Lena, without good reason or rhyme, found herself praying with every fibre of her being that Kara saw the place the same way she did. That it gave her that same sense of protection.

“It’s beautiful.” Kara replied, her voice barely above a whisper. 

Those two single words had Lena’s erratic heartbeat returning to slow heavy thuds of sheer relief as a sense of peace overcame her.

Lena held out her hand, memorising the feel of Kara’s hand slipping into her own before she dropped, with only a minor stumble, out of the saddle. Once Kara was settled back on her feet, Lena led the horses by the reins over to the single willow tree that had broken through the battle line drawn by the other trees making up the forest. The willow tree was growing right at the point grass shifted to stone, its branches reaching out desperately towards the water as if separated from its greatest love.

“It was my go to safe haven when I was younger. I would saddle up Loki and vanish for the day to this spot.” Lena explained, placing their bags filled with picnic items down before going to tie the horses up to a low hanging branch.

“What would you do here?” Kara asked curiously, her normal fidgeting movements not present, Lena wondered if the stillness of their locale was influencing the blonde that innately.

“Swim, sometimes. Mostly, I just came here to think.” Lena replied, whilst Kara laid out the red picnic blanket which she proceeded to gesture to with a caricature sweep of her arm. Lena chuckled whimsically at the action and bestowed Kara with a grateful curtesy before they both knelt down to sit next to one another. “I would bring a journal and note down any ideas or inventions. Sometimes I would write about how I was feeling... but I would always have to burn it after.” Lena added, lacking all forethought. 

“Why would you have to burn it?”

The question was asked innocently, and it caused Lena’s stomach to twist unnaturally. Kara was hope and light and, in Lena’s humble opinion, everything good about the world bottled up into one person. Kara didn't come from a world where being yourself, having personal thoughts were a weapon that could be used to inflict great harm to you and everyone you cared about.

Lena pursed her lips but forced herself to answer, “Things like that… at that time… I was worried about it falling into the wrong hands and being used against me.” She focused on the wash of water against the shore, “I burnt all my diaries from when I was younger so he couldn’t use anything in them against me…”

“Lex?” Kara whispered with genuine sympathy.

Lena’s heart lost the courage of a moment ago, she had pushed herself already and going any further was a step too far. “What do you want to eat first?” Lena prompted as she shuffled towards their bags to rummage for food, “I tried to make a little of everything and I thought I would introduce you to some Theonian desserts after.”

Lena heard an understanding sigh from behind her followed by, “That sounds perfect.”

They ate lunch together, Lena highlighting the different Theonian delicacies and giving some of the background and history to each one. Kara listened attentively, also excited to learn about the history and culture of Theonia even more so than usual when it involved sampling sweet treats. Kara’s favourites, Lena noted, were the ‘strawberry cascade’ (a pastry swirl filled with Jam and topped with ruby red strawberry slices) and, what was informally referred to by Theonians as, the ‘caramel calamity’ (a biscuit based dessert best identified by the messy caramel explosion on the top).

Once the food was nearly fully consumed, mostly by Kara, Lena leant back to admire the passing clouds overhead whilst the blonde continued to stare almost forlornly out at the water. Lena had noticed early on that Kara had become fixated on watching the ebbing lake as if it held all of life’s secrets.

Lena chose not to disturb the deep reflection Kara was currently undergoing, wanting to give her time and space but as the minutes ticked away, concern began to rise and she couldn’t stop herself from checking, “Are you okay? You seem quieter than normal.” Quieter wasn’t the right word and they both knew that. What Lena really meant was stiller.

“I’m fine…”, Kara blinked slowly before replying as if it took her time to return to the here and now. “It’s just this place reminds me of my old house.”

“Because of the water? You said you lived by the beach.” Lena lightly probed, as she pushed herself back up to a sitting position, her shoulder rubbing gently against Kara’s to say ‘I’m here, if you need me, I’m here.’

“Yes, because of the water…” Kara hesitated, as she pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them, Lena couldn't help thinking the blonde suddenly looked unbelievably young and small, Lena wanted to gather her up in her arms and shield her from all the horrors in the world. “But I wasn’t talking about Eliza’s house.” Kara admitted quietly, “I was talking about the house I used to live in with my parents.”

“Oh… you don’t talk about them very much.” Lena hated how awkward and stilted she sounded. She was a master diplomat and could craft a speech that would resound with millions but she couldn’t find the right words now. Not with Kara. Not when it really mattered.

“Hmmm… it’s hard to.” Kara hummed, her shoulders curling ever so slightly in on herself.

Lena swallowed and croaked out, “I understand.”

“I know.” Kara muttered, as she turned her head to rest her cheek on her knees and allow her to face Lena. Blue eyes were shining and there was a fond yet sad smile in place that broke Lena’s heart. “We used to live just outside Midvale, right by this small lake - well I always called it a lake, it was probably closer to a pond...” Kara chuckled self-deprecatingly, “I was so small and it always seemed so big.”

The blonde’s laughter died away leaving them with only the sound of the wind rustling through then leaves of the willow.

Lena was speaking before she even registered what she was going to say, she just knew she had to say something, share something, “My family have a summer house, further inland, in the foothills of the mountains. It… err… is right by a lake…” Lena explained, blushing at her own ineloquent description, not that Kara seemed to mind in the slightest, her gaze was locked on Lena’s face just as it had been on the water. “We used to go every year. It was my favourite place in the whole world. It was just a bigger version of this safeplace, where I got to spend time with my… family.” Lena broke off and fiddled with the sleeves of her hoodie.

“When was the last time you went?” Kara asked, though it was obvious from her tone she already knew the answer.

“Just before Lex was crowned.” Lena whispered back in confirmation.

“You haven’t been back?”

“Did you ever go back?” Lena returned the question, as she looked up to meet Kara’s eyes.

“No.” Kara replied with a heavy sigh, her head shaking from side to side.

Lena pursed her lips and hardened her heart as she tried to say as composedly as possible, “I have so many bad memories, so many horrific moments I would never like to relive… but I’ve found that its the good memories that truly hurt the worst.” Lena’s jaw tightened as she stated one of life's hardest lessons she had ever learnt, “It’s the good memories which break your heart.”

“Oh, Lena.” Kara breathed out, sounding absolutely devastated, “I wish-”

“I know, me too.” Lena interrupted, unable to bear hearing whatever wrong Kara wished to right because she knew if she heard it she might let Kara try to fix whatever had been broken.

Lena, however, was not even remotely prepared for the two arms which slipped carefully around her shoulders, not wanting to startle her, and guided her to the side where she could lean against the warm body waiting for her arrival.

If holding Kara's hand made her feel invincible, being in Kara’s arms was the equivalent of receiving a personal invitation from Gabriel himself to ascend to heaven, an invite Lena would turn down as it would mean leaving the embrace she was currently sharing in. Kara’s arms held her firmly, yet there was the ever present awareness that she would let go without resisting if Lena wanted to claim back her space.

Lena, in turn, eased her own hands around Kara’s waist and rested them against the small of her back as if they were always meant to be there. Lena couldn't help but count every breath the blonde breathed, adoring being able to physically feel Kara’s rib cage expand and deflate.

It was then that Lena had two earth shattering revelations.

One: hugs were the single greatest thing in the whole world, especially Kara hugs.

And two…

Kara wasn’t going to be a good memory. She was going to be the best, and Lena didn’t think her heart would survive her.


	13. Time Flies...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so consider this part one of three. I could have done a super long chapter or done it in three parts which would get to you guys quicker, and I figured you'd rather not wait another week so...
> 
> Anyway, please look forward to three quick, shorter than average (my average anyway), ultra fluffy chapters before we all head straight to angst central!
> 
> (Enjoy the happiness whilst it lasts... *evil laugh*)

Kara hated how the passage of time seemed to be accelerating as she found herself falling deeper and deeper for Lena. She could have sworn only mere seconds had passed from that moment when she was holding the slightly smaller woman in her arms by the lake that could have been on the edge of the world whilst, in actuality, hours, nearly a full day, had sped past.

Kara quickly realised every prayer, wish and beseechment for time to last longer, for seconds to be minutes and minutes to be hours, were going unanswered.

Kara, hand on heart, couldn’t even begin to guess how long she had held Lena in that quiet sanctuary. If she had to guess, she would say it was less than thirty seconds, though considering her clothes had managed to absorb Lena’s full scent it would suggest it was closer to ten, possibly twenty, minutes. Kara still didn’t think that was long enough either way, so much so that she found herself holding the shirt that smelled ever so slightly of lavender and freshly baked bread to her nose when she got undressed for bed later to try and take her mind back to that hug for a while longer.

The rest of the day with Lena had passed by in a dream-like state. One moment, they were enjoying lunch by the lake, the next they were riding back happily, Kara even trusting Loki enough to nudge him into a canter. Kara and Lena returned the horses to the stables, Lena talking Kara through brushing down Loki and giving him the affection he sought after a good day’s ride. The two parted ways as the sun began to set, Kara unable to resist going for a goodbye hug that yet again lasted far longer than either woman seemed to realise.

Kara, upon returning to the Palace, had been besieged by her two friends who had missed her company for the whole day. Kara had left a note stating she wanted to go for a long walk, enjoy the solitude and get away from work for a while. Winn and James didn’t begrudge Kara her alone time, they knew despite Kara’s sunny demeanour and excitable, babbly nature she appreciated solitude and quiet reflection, something she would be struggling to get practically living with the two boys and having a whole host of journalists, soldiers and palace staff waiting for her around every corner.

Winn and James, however, insisted on being able to spend a quiet evening with her (with a bottle of whiskey they had smuggled with them in anticipation of their night off). Kara had already explained to Lena that if they spent the day together, her best friends would clamour for her that evening (she’d also seen the whiskey and knew the danger awaiting her). Even though Lena didn’t seem to mind, Kara still found herself disappointed that she couldn’t think up a plan that would allow her to spend time with both Lena and her two best friends. It was surprising how much she wanted those two worlds to collide.

Actually, all Kara really wanted was Lena to be involved in as much of her life as possible.

She wanted to see Lena challenge James’ political savviness.

She wanted to see Lena and Winn go toe-to-toe in witty one liners.

She wanted to show Lena off to Alex, and gush about the green-eyed woman to her sister despite knowing it would result in relentless teasing.

Kara dismissed those desires with a shake of her head and focused on her two friends steadily drinking themselves under the table, neither having noticed that Kara had stopped drinking after her first two glasses.

The next day saw Winn and James in particularly fragile states. James’ sunglasses were permanently attached and didn’t budge from his face once. He also seemed to be on a diet of coffee and coffee alone; turning a nasty shade of green when he saw Kara digging into her usual artery clogging breakfast.

Kara was pretty sure that Winn was still drunk from the night before. He had an unnervingly wide smile plastered on his face and he seemed even bouncier than Kara in a good mood which was no mean feat. His hangover, unfortunately, hit around midday and lead to him becoming very closely acquainted with one of the palace’s toilets.   

The morning, especially with the free entertainment provided by her closest friends, passed by quickly. The CatCo team had decided to return to National City University, reaching out to the students and the staff in the hopes of learning how the younger generation felt about the opening up of Theonia to the rest of the world and to learn more about the impact the reopening of the university after King Lex’s reign had had on everyone.

By mid-afternoon, Winn had managed to pull himself together enough to help Kara finish setting up for her interview with the Home Secretary, Alan Kurtzman. The CatCo had been unsure how to approach this interview, over half of their colleagues had already had their interview with Kurtzman, the majority asking about Theonia’s changing international policy and the effect this could have on immigration (mostly starting it). It was Alex that inspired Kara’s interview strategy as she instead decided to specifically ask about the police force which fell under the remit of the Home Office. Alex had provided her with some interesting topics to ask about, questions that Alex as a cop in a different country would be intrigued to learn about.

“In your most recent interview, you stated that the crime rates in Theonia are trending lower and lower with every month following the establishment of the new government.” Kara repeated pausing momentarily to glance down at her pad to give the minister some time to prepare for this shift in conversation from their polite greetings. The pad of paper Kara kept with her had always been more of a prop that she wielded to great effect, everything written on it she already knew off by heart.

Alan Kurtzman was the living embodiment of the dad-joke stereotype. He dressed down rather than up, his jacket was flung wildly over the back of his chair without hesitation, the top button of his slightly crumpled white shirt was already popped open and his rather askew tie was a bright, vibrant yellow with a ghastly green pattern. He had proudly proclaimed when Kara had kindly complimented him on his tie that his young son had picked it out for him for his birthday and he liked to wear it every chance he could.

Despite his affable expression, and harmless appearance, Kara wasn’t naive enough to not to see the sharpness to his eyes, the way he assessed everything subtly behind his large grin. This man was far smarter than he appeared, and he used it to great effect, of that Kara had no doubt.

“I am very proud of that achievement.” Alan exclaimed, sitting up almost imperceptibly straighter in his chair as he realised he wouldn’t be facing the standard topic and questions Kara’s contemporaries had taken to asking him about. “The police have worked tirelessly to reinstill faith in the justice system.”

Kara smiled, pleased to see she had captured the man’s attention with her subject and deciding to pivot yet again from what he was probably expecting. “Most of my colleague have focused on the types of crime and injustices during King Lex’s reign, but I wanted to concentrate on what have been the main challenges following his rule?”

The minister’s eyebrow twitched a little and Kara couldn’t help thinking that she may have caught him by surprise, she smiled politely at him in response. Alan shook his head gently and chuckled having finally seen through her own act of affability. “One of the main challenges was trust.” Kurtzman muttered after a long pause, his tone turning somber, moving away from his jovial introduction. “Corruption had become widespread within law enforcement, the majority of Theonians didn’t believe that those set with the job of protecting them would actually keep them safe, most feared, due to personal experience, that we intended to cause them harm…”

A flicker of pain crossed the minister’s features, and Kara understood just how _personal_ those experiences might be to the man in front of her. She decided not to push for information on that, numerous other reporters would have been appalled if they found out she didn’t follow her instinct and interrogate this man in the hopes of discovering a juicy personal trauma. Kara, though, didn’t work that way, unless his story impacted the lives of others or he offered it of his own free will, Kara wouldn’t drag his private pain out for the entertainment and curiosity of the masses.

“Those, though, are all trivial in comparison to the nationwide amnesty the Queen insisted upon. This inevitably brought along its own problems-” Kurtzman had continued speaking, and Kara had to jolt away from her internal rationale for her moral decision to catch back up with what the minister had just said.

“I’m sorry. Amnesty? What amnesty?” Kara cut in, blinking wide-eyed and curiously at the man before her, who was watching her with something akin to a smirk that a parent would get when their child proved themselves smarter than their neighbours’ child.

“Oh, it's not something most people like to talk about.” Kurtzmann remarked softly. “Some citizens viewed it as a slap in the face, others thought it was a far too generous kindness to those we fought against.”

Kara tilted her head to the side, her pen reflexively primed to write, highlighting her attentiveness even though she inevitably wouldn’t note down a single word, “I’m not quite following…”

“My country, for at _least_ three years, was actively involved in a civil war.” The minister explained, his expression sombre, “It pitted friend against friend. Brother against brother. Eventually, Queen Lena prevailed but,” Kurtzmann dragged out the word for emphasis, “put more simply _one half_ of the country prevailed. _Half_ the country lost. _Half_ the country were seen as vanquished foes. Reconciliation was critical for any hope of Theonia ever uniting as one country again. To help this…” He hesitated, scrutinising Kara closely to check she understood the importance of what came next, of the decision Lena made for the good of her country, “the Queen granted amnesty to all citizens except for her brother’s most militant supporters and soldiers. This was _not_ a _popular_ decision.”

“Then why-” Kara’s brow creased deeply and her mouth moved without her permission. She would normally have remained quiet, prompting Kurtzmann to keep speaking through silence, but her self-control when it came to Lena obviously threw itself right out the window.

“Because they are _all_ her subjects. They are _all_ under her care.” The minister replied with a light shrug before Kara finished voicing her thoughts. His tone was factual and expressively neutral, “Immediately following the amnesty, we saw the highest spike in crime this country has ever experienced…” Kara’s eyebrows shot up in response to that piece of information, “But the Queen worked tirelessly with the justice department, she installed numerous soldiers and people she trusted, people who had proven themselves honourable, kind with a strong sense of justice. But most importantly... _half_ of them had fought against her in the civil war.”

Kara’s heart suddenly felt like a bear trap had locked itself tightly around her heart. Dread pooled sickly in her stomach as she imagined exactly what Lena had gone through. She had kept her enemies around, had kept herself in danger just for the off-chance that it would help her country repair itself. The war ended but she kept it going for herself.

The what ifs were filling her mind and consuming her attention.

What if Lena’s plan hadn’t worked?

What if she had placed her faith in the wrong person?

What if? What if? What if?

What if she was still in danger?

That final thought sucked all the air out of Kara’s lungs faster than a vacuum could ever dream of being able to.

“She picked her _enemies-”_ Kara gasped out in disbelief.

“No, there were, and is, no t _hem_ or _us_.” Kurtzmann shook his head gently, as if admonishing a student’s illogical reasoning. “We were, and are, all Theonians again.” Kurtzmann stated simply, explaining everything with that one sentence. “It took time, but trust began to be rebuilt. Crime began to decrease, families were reunited and reconciled. The Queen remained steadfast, she didn’t back down even when the nobles and some of her closest allies were demanding her to take revenge. To punish those that wouldn’t hesitate to do the same should the roles be reversed. Theonia wouldn’t be where it is right now, if it wasn’t for her majesty.”

Kara leant back in her chair, her notebook and pen limp in her hands; she was motionless, her usual fidgetiness completely disappeared as she comprehended what the minister had explained to her and how her plan for the interview (and her opinion of Lena) had changed irrevocably. One word summed up what she was thinking and she breathed it out, lacking all restraint, “Wow.”

It’s not that Kara hadn’t known how strong, impressive, inspiring - Kara could go on but she would exhaust the capabilities of most thesaurus’ before she was satisfied with the descriptors she was using - Lena really was, it’s just hearing a story where Lena put herself physically in danger for the good of the people. Accepted and rose above the hatred that was presumably thrown at her, cast an entirely new light on the woman.

Kara had a picture of Lena in her head, it was mostly a strange amalgamation of the Lena she had spent yesterday with and the Lena she had spent nearly every evening with for a week.

Lena’s eyes were bright with concern and warmth, her mouth was quirked in a knowing, teasing smirk, her hair was thrown up out of the way, strands breaking free in great wisps, she was dressed down, wearing the jeans from yesterday accompanied by her National City University hoodie which Kara was desperate to snuggle up to (she imagined it as being unbelievably soft from overuse and permanently marked with Lena’s scent).

This was the Lena, Kara conjured in her mind’s eye whenever she thought of the other woman.

Now, though, the image changed ever so slightly. Whereas, before, Kara had been removing the traces of the Queen from her picture of Lena, now the royal figure was eeking back in but rather than ruining this version of Lena, it enhanced it. The Lena in Kara’s head, was now raising her chin in defiance and determination, revealing a willingness to stand and fight for what was right.

Real life Lena, on the other hand, was currently (as of that evening) stomping and headbanging rhythmically around the kitchen without a care in the world as she shouted out the lyrics to ‘Mr. Brightside’.

A bright, beaming smile overtook Kara’s face as she stepped into the kitchen to find the literal dancing queen, acting more carefree than Kara had ever seen her before.

“Nice moves!” Kara called out cheerfully, applauding Lena’s dance moves as she bobbed up and down to the beat.

Lena’s cheeks, already flushed from the exertion, turned an even darker shade at the compliment, “Why, thank you.” Lena replied with a slight curtesy before taking a couple of steps towards Kara who was still rooted to the spot by the door, unable to tear her eyes away from the other woman. “Are you going to stand there or are you going to join me?” Lena asked quietly, her voice barely audible above the thrumming music. Kara watched as Lena held out a hand and wiggled her fingers in invitation.

“Like I have a choice.” Kara huffed, reaching out unhesitatingly for Lena’s hand, as she tried to ignore just how true her words were.

Lena’s face lit up even more as she shook their joined hands in time with next song, “Glad we’re on the same page, then.”

Kara and Lena danced crazily, with flailing limbs, wild kicks, ill-timed jumps and poor lip-synching.

Kara loved every second of it. Loved feeling completely free and seeing Lena feel the exact same.

Nearly an hour later, Kara’s throat felt rough and her voice came out as croaky from her sing along, her arms and legs felt as heavy as lead and her breath was coming out in heavy pants. Lena wasn’t in much of a better state, her pale features were now a blistering red, beads of sweat were dripping down her forehead, her hair was messy and frazzled, but the smile on her face was the biggest Kara had seen yet.    

As they recovered, Kara finally took the time to glance around at the kitchen (mostly to avoid staring for inappropriately long moments of time at Lena), to try and figure out what Lena would be teaching her to cook today. That’s when she registered the white sheet hiding various items from view set up on the island they usually ate at.

Kara’s eyebrow raised and she tilted her head to the side as she pointed at the sheet. “So what’s the plan today? Are we taking presentation skills to a whole new level and you’re going to teach me how to set a table?”

Lena, who had been gulping down a glass of water, paused and gave Kara a curious, slightly concerned look, “Do I need to teach you how to set a table?”

“No…” Kara replied slowly. She instantly felt her eyes begin to glaze over as she remembered the business brunch a couple of days ago.

There had been three different types of spoon and Kara had been bewildered as to the different purposes behind each one. This memory then escalated as her imagination got involved and began to run wild. The Theonian government requested the reporters to adequately set a table to prove to the Theonian general population that the rest of the world weren’t heathens, and were worthy of Theonia’s decision to join the international community. Imaginary Kara would panic when she was presented with nine different spoons, seven forks and five knives. Kara would obviously fail, her country would renounce her in disappointment and without anywhere to call home, Kara would be sent to the dungeons where she got to see Frank again.

“And you’re back…” Lena murmured, once Kara had shook her head and blinked rapidly, awakening from her daydream, “Visiting Frank I presume?” Lena teased.

“He gets lonely if I don’t check on him regularly…” Kara mumbled with a childish pout.

“Uh huh…” Lena hummed, moving to stand in front of Kara and booping Kara’s nose with her forefinger. Kara went cross-eyed and smiled shyly, removing the fake pout in less than a heartbeat. “So...any other guesses or can I tell you?” Lena inquired, her green eyes positively twinkling.

“Just a couple more…” Kara declared, lifting her head determinedly as she glared at the white sheet covered island, “Are we feeding ghosts? Are we doing culinary magic?”

“No.” Lena chuckled, shaking her head lightly in amusement.

“Okay, then… what am I learning today?” Kara asked, looking between Lena and the surprise, her fingers twitching to reveal the hidden items.

Lena, however, didn’t immediately reach out to yank the sheet clear, instead she took a deep breath and her fingers began to fidget erratically with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. “You know how you’ve been sharing music with me?”

“I have vague memories of that, yes.” Kara laughed, her muscles still recovering from their impromptu dance party.

“Right… duh.” Lena winced, her fingers stopping their movement to tightly grip the edge of her sleeves instead. “Um… well,” Lena stuttered, not quite meeting Kara’s eyes, “you haven’t been trying to share _your_ favourite music with me or music in general, you’ve been trying to find _my_ favourite music… and that means a lot to me.” Kara couldn’t help but reach out for Lena’s hands which instantly untensed and interlaced willingly with Kara’s own. “And I wanted… I wanted to do something like that for you… so I… err…” Lena lifted her head back up and gave Kara the softest smile, letting go of one of Kara’s hands to lightly tug at the white sheet, “it might be easier if I show you.”

Kara slowly pulled her gaze away from bright green eyes, only to see, “Potstickers?”

Laid out, now fully exposed were four plates, all of which were laden with potstickers. In front of each plate was a scrap of paper which numbered them from one to four. Kara’s mouth instantly began to water and her stomach began to roar as the fragrance of her favourite food was wafted toward her by the removal of the sheet.

“Yeah, see I… err… spent the evening making different recipes and have narrowed them all down to four which I think match the factors you like best about potstickers.” Kara had begun inching towards the potstickers the second she laid eyes upon them and she had to physically kick herself to make sure she fully took in Lena’s rushed explanation. “I was thinking you could try all four, tell me which is your favourite and then I…” Lena bit her bottom lip hesitantly, giving Kara a sight far better to stare at than the food calling her name. “I could teach you how to make it… for yourself, you know?”

Kara let out a slow, steady breath, giving Lena her full attention, “Lena, this is… how long did you spend doing this?”

“Oh, you know… it didn’t take that long.” Lena waved her free hand dismissively, but Kara knew the truth despite the light-hearted denial.

Kara knew how valuable Lena’s free time was.

Kara knew the amount of effort Lena would have put in to perfect this simple surprise for her.

“But, you…” Kara began, intending to argue back, to point out that this was not a small effort on Lena’s part but Lena was staring at her so tenderly. Lena wanted to make Kara happy, wanted to show that she had listened, wanted to simply do something nice for her.

How could Kara say anything but thank you? That’s what she would want Lena to do if their roles were reversed. She would want her to not feel any guilt, she would want her to enjoy whatever it was that she had done to the fullest.

“Thank you, Lena. This was incredibly thoughtful.” Kara whispered earnestly, squeezing Lena’s hand once more before pulling her into a tight all consuming hug.


	14. ...when you're...

“Kara… please, please tell me, you didn’t…” Winn begged as Kara cringed and tried her utmost to half the amount of space she took up among the loudly applauding crowd.  

“I… It- It was an accident, I swear.” Kara muttered, gnawing guiltily at her bottom lip as she watched Lena step up to the podium.

“God dammit, Kara.” Winn groaned out whilst James merely sighed and deflated behind them in response. Kara couldn’t really blame them but in all honesty it was an accident.

It had happened only a couple of hours ago.

After breakfast, the journalists were gifted an hour or so of free time since they would all be travelling to the August Gardens together to watch the Queen give a planned speech for the anniversary of National City University being established. The University had requested the Queen make a speech, due to it being her alma mater, and Lena had accepted since it was a good opportunity to highlight the new government’s continued efforts to make further education more widely available to the population. 

James was using their free hour to go over Kara’s copious notes of research regarding the Theonian education system and the history of National City University to better understand the context and meaning behind the Queen’s speech and the subsequent article Kara would write. The quotes the Catco team had gotten from students yesterday would already give their article on the Queen’s speech later a little something extra but James, as always, wanted to have a good knowledge foundation to provide thoughtful editing advice when the time came. 

Winn, on the other hand, was gathering data regarding the hits, comments, shares and likes their various articles had been getting. Whilst Catco was led to some degree by its number of readers and their own preferences, Kara always appreciated the importance Catco placed on the importance of the story rather than whether it was exactly what people wanted to read about over breakfast. This number analytics was a side project of Winn’s he had been working on for the last couple of months. He was attempting to gather evidence that showed that putting out substantive, well-articulated and thought provoking pieces retained a more consistent pool of readers than their more whimsical work. By analysing peak times, and consistent commenters, Winn’s work was already showing promising results, but he liked to keep on top of it all and the eclectic mix of articles they had produced during their Theonia trip was providing him with a lot more useful data.

Kara, meanwhile, chose to take the opportunity to stretch her legs since she had already memorised the research and written up the quotes from yesterday. She decided to revisit the hall of remembrance that she had somewhat missed out on during the earlier tour of the Palace due to the awkwardness with Lena weighing heavily over her at the time. Kara mentioned her desire to revisit the area to Sam at breakfast, and the royal chief of staff had kindly taken the time to give her easy to follow directions to help her through the labyrinth of corridors. 

With the golden rays of the morning sun streaming through the tall gothic windows behind her Kara found herself getting lost in the paintings, sculptures and pictures lining the walls. Some of the images and artworks came with useful little captions or inscriptions, enabling Kara to see somewhat through the heavy shroud of history. She would have adored having more information, learning the deep, sprawling history behind everything and she quickly found herself lamenting yet again over the cut short Palace tour last week.

Kara was so deep in thought, so lost in the secrets of time presented to her, that she didn’t register the click-clacking of heels hurrying towards her nor the figure approaching behind her.   

A hand landed on Kara’s shoulder in perfect imitation of Alex’s surprise attack drills.

Instinct, subconscious action and a roaring sound in her ears took over as Kara quickly shrugged off the hand, whirled around and jabbed.

“Hey, Ka-” A soft voice began before being immediately lost to a shout of, “FU-”

“OH MY GOD!” Kara practically screamed as Lena hunched forward, her hands protectively moving to cover her nose. “I am so, so, so, so sorry!” Kara apologised, her hands flapping wildly by her sides unsure whether she should reach out to Lena after attempting to break her nose. Kara’s eyes began to sting with unshed tears; she was unable to fathom the truth that she had caused Lena physical pain. 

“Kara, it’s fine.” Lena murmured, stiffly rising back to her full height, her brow heavily furrowed as she fought off the pain obviously radiating across her face. Her green eyes, however, were filled with concern for Kara who presumably looked on the edge of a breakdown. “It’s just a little…” Lena removed one of her hands from her nose, to reach out for Kara’s hand, but stopped when she noticed the crimson rivulets marking her palm. “I mean a moderate amount of blood.” Lena corrected with a light chuckle as if it was nothing whilst, at the same time, she reached into her impeccable black work jacket’s pocket to pull free a handkerchief that she immediately employed to wipe clean her hands and face.

“Lena, I am so so-” Kara whispered, her gaze dropping to the floor as her nervous energy deserted her leaving her limp and devoid of her usual fidgetiness.

“Enough of that.” Lena ordered gently, her fingertip moving to lift Kara’s chin up. Despondent blue eyes met fond green ones and Kara finally felt brave enough to take Lena’s cleaned up hand in her own. “You apologised, you don’t need to do it again.” Lena explained, her expression soft but her tone serious.

“But-” Kara whimpered pleadingly, guilt still resting mightily on her shoulders.

“Kara, I’m fine.” Lena affirmed, lightly tugging Kara forward into a full-bodied hug to reassure her. Kara stumbled willingly into Lena’s open arms, and rested her chin on Lena’s shoulder that was just the right height due to the killer heels the other woman was yet again wearing. “You have a mean right jab by the way.” Lena murmured approvingly into Kara’s ear as the tears that had been forming in Kara’s eyes finally receded back. “You could probably show my security detail a thing or two.” Lena commented thoughtfully, causing Kara to blush and duck her head further into Lena’s shoulder.

“Alex has been training me in self defence,” Kara whined, Lena tilted her head to the side to hear Kara’s muffled words their cheeks brushing against each other in the process (not that either minded), “but she went overboard - like she does with everything, it’s kind of in her nature.” Kara huffed and she could feel Lena’s ribs, captured between her arms, vibrate with laughter at the childish sibling frustrations. “Anyway, due to the limited time she had to teach me - she claimed 3 months was insufficient to truly grasp the basics, which I heavily disagreed with by the way,” Kara complained, as Lena ran a soothing hand up and down her back in comfort, “she decided to go more ‘aggressive’ in her approach.”

“Meaning…?” Lena prompted, her voice catching slightly, as Kara squeezed her to offer her comfort in return.

“Surprise drills.” Kara muttered bitterly.

There was a momentary pause, as Lena considered this and it’s various implications. Kara, meanwhile, took the time to simply enjoy having Lena so close again (admittedly not for a reason she could be proud of). She liked that their hug was comforting to the both of them, not just one of them. Lena was using it to reassure Kara and try to alleviate her emotional turmoil, whilst Kara felt like she was trying to absorb any residual pain that Lena was feeling through sheer force of will and physical contact alone.  

“Ah, I see.” Lena replied dryly, though Kara could practically hear the amused smile dancing across her face. It was the desire to see that smile, rather than just hear it that had Kara unburying her face and leaning back in Lena’s arms. 

The smile was definitely there and worth seeing, by the way.

“If it makes you feel any better,” Kara coughed out shyly, “I’ve already put two people in the hospital for doing the same thing as you.”

“And that would make me feel better because…?” Lena asked, squinting adorably at Kara in confusion.

Kara freed a hand from around Lena to shift her glasses on her nose in her typical nervous manner, “You’re much tougher than them.”

Lena took Kara’s movement as a sign to step back and give Kara her space (which was the last thing the blonde wanted and she barely resisted the pout that wanted to arise automatically).

“I aim to impress.” Lena responded with a coy wink.

“You do.” Kara agreed, far too quickly she feared to seem simply friendly. Lena, thankfully, didn’t pick up on this as she lightly brushed and prodded her nose, which Kara could see was already swelling up significantly. “Sorry, ag-” Kara couldn’t help but start to apologise at the sight before her.

“Kara!” Lena reprimanded sharply with a shake of her head.

“Right.” Kara winced, feeling appropriately scolded. “Let me at least come with yout to put some ice on that…” Kara requested, employing her best puppy dog eyes that had the strong-willed Queen crumbing in a heartbeat.

“Since you asked so nicely…”, Lena teasingly grumbled, not hesitating to drop her hand away from her nose to accept Kara’s proffered arm as they made their way towards their kitchen. 

“What were you even doing in the hall of remembrance?” Kara inquired, enjoying her current closeness to Lena as they wandered easily through the quiet corridors, “I thought you would be preparing for your speech…” 

“Er…” Lena coughed awkwardly, her arm wrapped around Kara’s tensing ever so slightly as she ducked her head, allowing her dark hair to obscure her reddening cheeks, “Sam might have mentioned that you were going there and I… um… I wanted to make up for the less than stellar tour last week…”

“Oh…”, it was all Kara could think to say upon finding out that she had derailed Lena’s sweet desire.

“We’ll just have to do it another time…” Lena mumbled, though there was a distinct lack of certainty to her words which cut right to Kara’s heart.

“Yeah…” Kara agreed quietly, though she couldn’t help the quiet ‘when?’ that kept playing over and over in her head.

 

Kara, held the door open to their kitchen and proceeded to unnecessarily guide Lena, who grumbled about not being an invalid the whole time, to her regular chair before rushing to the freezer for something suitable to reduce the swelling. Lena accepted the bag of green peas wrapped in a tea towel, with a grateful nod, placing it gingerly to her nose with an almost imperceptible wince that Kara only noticed due to how much she had been studying Lena over the past week. Kara immediately fell into the seat beside her and pulled Lena into a one-armed side hug; silence weighing heavy over them from their previous conversation, neither willing to acknowledge the ominous ticking clock that was hanging above them.   

“How did you even manage to do that?” Winn asked in exasperation, wrenching Kara out of her reverie and making her realise that Lena had been speaking for a while without Kara being aware. Kara began scribbling away in her notebook, glad to see that James had been paying attention for the entirety of the speech.

“I was wandering the Palace,” Kara muttered under her breath in explanation as she tried to write, listen and talk at the same time, “I told you I wanted to see a couple of those portraits from the tour again. The Queen saw me, figured I was lost and came over to see if I needed help then-”

“Kapow?” Winn guessed with a childish snigger.

“Yep…” Kara admitted, rolling her eyes before letting out a heavy, pleading sigh, “Is there any chance, you won’t tell Alex about this?”

“None, nada, zero.” Winn replied instantly, a smug smile lighting up his face.

“I’ve already texted her.” James confessed behind them causing Kara to gasp loudly and whirl around to whack him repeatedly with her notebook. Kara only stopped her childish attack when Captain Dunn appeared next to her, like CatCo’s constant companion and shadow. He gave her a less than impressed glare and muttered, ‘easy there slugger’, under his breath making Kara turn a bright red and wither up under his stare.

Dunn remained by her side for the rest of the speech keeping a wary eye on her as if he feared she might just randomly start taking out members of the public, Kara kept her head down and scribbled notes resulting in her missing the fond smile on the old soldier’s face directed her way. 

Lena was simply incredible (in Kara’s  _ unbiased  _ opinion). 

Lena started with the expected thank yous for everyone involved in making this day possible and then went on to give a brief overview of National City University’s history and well-respected reputation. Kara tuned in properly during the tail end of the history section, which fortunately meant she didn’t miss out on Lena talking about her own history with the university. She spoke about her own personal love of science and how the university had encouraged and supported her in all her pursuits. Lena even shared a few personal anecdotes of failed experiments much to the amusement of the crowd and the press. One story was about how Lena’s over-enthusiastic first attempt at an invention resulted in the entire science department being evacuated, whilst another story revealed how a mistimed chemical reaction meant her and her class had to be quarantined for twenty-four hours. 

Kara knew these tales were probably the most  _ audience friendly  _ ones and as such she immediately resolved herself to pestering Lena for more stories of her university days the first chance she could.

After her light-hearted anecdotes, which ensured she had captured the crowd’s attention, Lena pivoted expertly into the importance of education, university and how the newly established government was supporting these institutions and those that wanted to attend them. The main body of Lena’s speech was passionate, well-articulated and there was, amazingly, something in there that resonated with everyone. 

Lena was charming, good-humoured and the entire crowd was hanging off her every word, moving through every emotion that she wanted them to when she wanted them to. Laughter, gasps and proud cheers punctuated Lena’s sentiments so perfectly, Kara wouldn’t have been surprised if there had been people holding placards up at the edge of the stage telling the crowd what to do. 

Before Kara knew it, Lena was finishing up and ending on a message of hope for the future that had the crowd’s cheers reaching a decibel that Kara was convinced would leave her eardrums ringing for the rest of the day. 

The foreign reporters, during the speech, had been ushered to a designated section in front of the erected stage to watch the speech under the watchful gaze of the Royal guard in a more controllable area. Once Lena’s speech had reached its end, the reporters were granted their freedom to interact with the general public, most chose to race off the second they were permitted to, with the aim of getting accompanying quotes for their own articles. Captain Dunn humbly requested that the CatCo team stay within his eyesight due to the size of the crowd; the team promised to do so, deciding to head around to the edge of the stage, among the outskirts of the crowd and to an overall quieter part of the gardens.

Kara held numerous short conversations with various Theonians, most of the quotes were superficial positive remarks about the speech they had all heard but Kara wasn’t disappointed by this having already gathered more detailed insights the day before to support her writing. The CatCo team were tucked away under a copse of trees, away from the paved paths which winded through the green spaces, significantly reducing the amount of footfall they would get. 

Kara, however, happily seized the opportunity presented by the lack of people to enjoy her surroundings yet again.

She admired the flowers, well-tended trees and hedges, comparing it to the untamed sanctuary Lena had take her to a couple of days ago. She wondered if Lena preferred that style of natural beauty or if she had favourite parts of both.

As if summoned by sheer thought alone, Kara spotted Lena not too far away, surrounded by military personnel, having obviously just finished conversing with the chancellor of the university and the education minister who had occupied the stage alongside her. 

Kara wanted to wave at Lena, shout out her name and invite her over to walk freely around the gardens together. She knew none of those things were feasible, but Kara pretended for a second that it was and it produced a swooping feeling in her stomach which happened whenever she thought of Lena being in close proximity. 

Kara let out a sigh and was about to turn back to trying to entice random strangers to speak to her (Kara’s respect for Jehovah witnesses was surprisingly increasing every time a passerby avoided eye contact and sped up their walk to get past her undisturbed) when she spotted a blur heading unopposed by the guards towards Lena. The blur collided with Lena who, upon spotting the movement rushing towards her, froze before her face transitioned into the brightest smile Kara had ever seen and opened her arms wide ushering the person into a warm hug. 

Lena gave, what Kara now saw was, a young girl with brown hair and a genuinely happy grin, a tight hug and quick kiss to the top of her head. It was over in less than a couple of seconds, Kara watched as Lena gently pushed the young girl away and gestured to the guards and the general people milling around that had yet to spot that the Queen had appeared from behind the stage and was obviously waiting for her transportation to arrive. 

The girl nodded once in understanding, her face shifting to blank and neutral, and Kara hated how Lena seemed to tense up and her green eyes immediately lost their vibrancy at the young girl’s transition. 

Kara observed for a little bit longer, Lena and the girl spoke carefully, their conversation appearing controlled and precise, eventually a guard approached giving a swift bow before directing Lena and her young companion to a black 4x4 with tinted windows that was in the process of pulling up. 

After Lena had left, the CatCo team perserved for another half-an-hour or so before getting Captain Dunn to take them back to the Palace for some lunch and final prep for their afternoon interview. 

The interview that particular afternoon was the one Kara and Winn had been most excited for since receiving their interview schedule. The Science and Technology minister was highly intelligent, with the rare ability to capture and entertain the masses by translating complex scientific ideas into more easily understandable concepts. He was tall, with light blonde hair which kept falling to cover his eyes and he was dressed in a grey short-sleeved shirt accompanied by a bright blue bowtie. Winn declared in excited whispers that the minister was the blonde version of Matt Smith’s Doctor Who, instantly making him Winn’s real life hero.

Kara and Winn had been preparing for this interview from the second they had found out it would be happening. Kara loved science, specifically learning about breakthroughs in a wide variety of fields from medicine to theoretical physics, whilst Winn personally preferred the more visible tech developments and the implications it could have for the world. 

The interview overran by two hours.

The minister adored Kara and her eager companion, who seemed to light up every time they spoke about Theonia’s advanced capabilities like the intranet being provided by state of the art infrared cabling running the length of the country. The minister spoke about his intent to link Theonia up to the rest of the world’s internet in a couple of months time, and their desire to share some of their more innovative technology especially those related to renewable energy. 

Theonia, due to their disdain for mining and their lack of trade with other countries had never been dependent on fossil fuels, their need for energy had produced some revolutionary inventions. Solar cells in use throughout the nation were incredibly efficient and could store a mind-boggling amount of power to see through the days of overcast, grey skies.

Kara was inspired by the sheer volume of information she had gathered to write a series of articles rather than just one. The minister, keen to continue speaking to journalists that were so interested in what he was trying to do offered another interview later in the week which the CatCo team didn’t hesitate to accept. It was only Sam coming to find them and tell them dinner was starting that finally brought their interview to a close.

Kara and Winn, supported by James who was happy to be their stand in for the reader (if he didn’t understand what Kara was trying to explain, she had to go back to the drawing board and rewrite until it was clear), began working on their series. Snapper, at first dubious of the idea, was distracted by Kara’s Amnesty article and gave them permission to write to excess about their interests on this occasion.

“Hey.” Kara called out tentatively later that evening, peeking her head through the door to the kitchen `rather than skipping inside without delay as she was now accustomed to do.

Lena, seated in her usual seat, looked up immediately from the tablet she was typing on to flash Kara a wide, welcoming smile. Kara, however, barely registered the smile, her eyes were glued to the purple butterfly-like bruise emanating around Lena’s nose. Lena merely rolled her eyes and scoffed loudly before putting on her most authoritative voice, “Get in here already and take that guilty expression of your face. It was an accident. If you want to make it up to me-”

“Yeah?” Kara asked, rushing forward eagerly ready to carry out Lena’s every wish.

“Give me a hug?” Lena finished with her signature coy smirk that made Kara swoon every single time it was sent her way. 

“You don’t need to ask for those.” Kara mumbled, stepping forward into Lena’s open arms and holding her close. “Good day? Despite the… err… you know…” Kara trailed off and Lena chuckled sweetly into her shoulder. 

“Yeah, pretty good. It got even better a couple of minutes ago.” Lena replied, tightening her arms around Kara once more to emphasise her point before letting Kara step back so she could check that Kara’s guilty demeanour had fully vanished.

“What did you tell people about the-” Kara gestured helplessly to Lena’s nose.

“I told Sam the truth.” Lena said bluntly, “She laughed for about fifteen minutes straight. She then told everyone that I walked into a door whilst I was trying to read the latest update on the government’s budget before coming into the office.”

“And they believed that?” Kara queried disbelievingly.

“Mmhmm…” Lena hummed, her gaze drifting back to the tablet as she shifted nervously on her seat.

“You’ve done it before haven’t you?”

“Once or twice.” Lena coughed out awkwardly.

“Who knew the graceful Queen was so clumsy?” Kara teased, nudging Lena’s side with her shoulder affectionately.

“You’re one to talk…”, Lena fired back, putting on a haughty air that simply made Kara laugh harder.

“Point taken.” Kara acknowledged, her giggles cutting out when she flashbacked to the statue falling to pieces on the atrium floor. Lena sat up straighter, pleased with herself, whilst Kara admired her faux stern profile. “Hey, can I ask a personal question?” Kara asked, fidgeting shyly with her glasses. 

“Of course.” Lena responded without a second delay, spinning around to give Kara her full attention.

“Who was that girl you were talking to after the speech?”

“Oh…”, Lena’s eyes went wide with surprise and Kara was only a second away from backtracking immediately when Lena continued before she had a chance, “that was Ruby, Sam’s daughter. Why?” Lena tilted her head to the side, the question wasn’t suspicious or concerned, simply curious as to Kara’s interest.

Why was Kara so interested?

The young girl, Ruby, was the first person during Kara’s stay at the Palace who she had seen to treat Lena the same way she did, who looked at her as if she was a normal, yet incredible person. Ruby was the first person to whom Lena let all her walls down for in less than a second, it had been impossible for Kara to look away when she had seen Lena interacting so easily.

“It’s just…” Kara took a stuttering breath, struggling to find the right words, “it’s nice to see that you have people who really care about you. I worry sometimes.” She admitted softly.

“Oh…”, Lena murmured in understanding, “you don’t have to. I have people… Sam and Ruby especially.”

“Good.” Kara said simply, because it was that simple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the reason this has become such a slow burn is because one of the things I love about Kara and Lena is how they are best friends in the show. How they depend on each other, can laugh with each other and support one another. I wanted that to be the case in this fic first and foremost, hopefully I have established that relationship so far... don't worry we are so close (say only one more chapter of pure platonic-ness) before things... escalate...


	15. ...having fun

“Kara, are you coming or what?” Winn yelled from the doorway to Kara’s room bouncing up and down excitedly like a small child knocking on their friend’s house asking if they would like to come out and play.

Kara groaned from her seated position on her bed, barely acknowledging her friend’s presence as she continued to stare forlornly at her computer. 

Kara and Alex had missed each other on skype for the last few days due to a run of bad luck more than anything else. One of Alex’s cold cases, over the weekend, had received new evidence in the form of a witness leading to an unexpected breakthrough, the detective had therefore been forced to drop everything else to work ridiculously long hours to capitalise on this new information. The time difference between the two countries had already made catching each other for conversation difficult, but this change in circumstance made it almost impossible. 

Alex had promised to leave work not too late so that she and Kara could talk before Kara had to go to breakfast. Alex was rushing home but had gotten caught in bad traffic, leaving Kara on edge for when they would next speak and Kara could really have done with talking to her sister at that moment in time. She desperately needed her sister to provide a touch of home to try and ease even a fraction of the pain that would inevitably come with leaving Lena behind.

“Yeah, I just really need to-” Kara began, her fingers tapping desperately on the side of her laptop as she watched her sister’s ‘offline’ status intensely whilst also ignoring the pangs of hunger asking her to seek out breakfast before too long.  

“Kara, come on!” James appeared in the doorway lightly knocking into Winn, in his equally excited state, with a large dopey grin on his face, “We can’t miss this. Alex, will understand as long as we take pictures for her.” James reasoned before putting on an exaggerated pout and puppy dog eyes that Winn copied, though much less effectively.

Kara glanced from her two friends back to her unchanging skype display. Even if Alex appeared now, they would probably only have five or so minutes to catch up before she had to leave, Kara rationalised to herself as she sadly closed the lid to her laptop and abandoned it on the bed. 

“Okay, yeah… Let’s go.” Kara cheered, though it lacked her usual giddiness, and quickly picked up her bag to follow her two best friends out of their accommodation.

Raucous laughter was echoing loudly around the dining hall. 

The only sound, other than guffaws and giggles, was coming from laptops, phones and tablets. All of them were playing the exact same video over and over and over again on repeat. Every reporter in the hall was transfixed by their electronic displays… except for a certain CatCo team who were digging into their breakfasts, looking  _ far _ too innocent to be anything other than guilty.

Kara, James and Winn kept their heads down and tried hard to stop proud smirks from appearing on their faces (Winn in particular was struggling and Kara wasn’t too far behind), especially when the ever professional Grace Mayweather gave them double thumbs up before exaggeratedly pressing replay on her phone. 

Oddly enough this particular idea had been all James’.

It would appear that due to Mike’s desire to always be in the public eye, James had, unfortunately for Mike, ended up with a large volume of photos that Mike had more or less photo bombed, and the majority of them could definitely be considered less than flattering. So what was James to do with an ungodly and totally unwanted number of photos of CatCo’s nemesis in conjunction with a computer whiz on standby and a girl with a particular fondness for nineties music?

Hours of work later and the CatCo team had produced their masterpiece, anonymously posted to YouTube and tweeted out by friends with plausible deniability. It was a viral hit within three hours, and even if it wasn’t a big hit across the internet, it was at least a big hit with a certain pool of foreign journalists currently staying in the royal palace of Theonia.

‘I’m Too Sexy’ by Right Said Fred blasted around the room at different volumes and at completely different points in the song. This version of the song, however, was spoken (rather than sung) by clipped together audio of Mike Matthews and was accompanied by pictures, clips and gifs of the LYNX reporter. 

It wasn’t a cruel prank by any stretch of the imagination, none of the photos they used for the video cast Mike in a bad light, nor was he dressed inappropriately. Some would even say it was a boring joke, lacklustre at best. What most people don’t consider though is the fact that anything less than impeccable dress or perfect presentation was the fastest way to irritate MIke, who could probably give Narcissus lessons on vanity.

The video had gone viral due to the large number of fans Mike had who lapped up any new images of their favourite pretty boy reporter, but the reason it was such a hit with the press tour in Theonia is that all of them knew exactly how much it would irk the selfish, condescending reporter they had all had to put up with for over a week now.

Kara lifted her head to take in the amusement and the glee of her fellow contemporaries, pausing in her sweep of the room to focus on the ‘The New York Times’ table where someone had obviously already found a remixed version of the original video much to everyone’s delight.

 The LYNX team stormed in not much later, Mike looked livid and he stomped his feet so hard across the stone floor, Kara was surprised he hadn’t caused cracks to appear with every step. The childish tantrum-like attitude, however, merely made it next to impossible for the other reporter’s to successfully stifle their giggles. 

“Yeah, yeah… laugh it up!” Mike shouted in response, a vindictive curl to his mouth as he stared down anyone that failed to hide their laughter with a cough. “You want to know what’s really funny? This crappy little stunt only made me  _ more  _ famous!” Mike aggressively snatched up some food, and threw it down at LYNX’s regular table. “After this trip, all of you go back to being  _ irrelevant _ !”

The other journalists rolled their eyes dismissively and shook their heads in disappointment as they turned back to their food and friends, ignoring Mike’s ranting and raving.

“You all wish that-” Mike’s next bout of insults and self-aggrandisement was cut short when two of his LYNX co-workers yanked him down into his seat and began to whisper words of flattery to soothe his bruised ego. 

The CatCo team exchanged a half-amused, half-concerned glance before James revealed with a conspiratorial wink that he had recorded Mike’s tantrum for Alex to review later, which perked Kara up more than the prank itself ever could, knowing the video might be just the bait she needed to encourage Alex to get on skype at a reasonable hour.

LYNX were the first to leave breakfast that morning, Mike stomping his feet and shooting the CatCo team (who he more than suspected to be responsible) positively murderous glares as he shoved anyone in his way aside. Immediately following the over the top exit from LYNX’s finest, the awkward atmosphere stifling the room evaporated and conversations resumed at a normal volume in contrast to the hushed whispers a few moments ago. 

“You wouldn’t happen to know anything about this video… would you?” Captain Dunn inquired as he materialised seemingly from out of nowhere to gracefully slip into the seat next to Kara. 

His grey eyes moved between the three friends, all of them bearing wide eyes and shocked expressions before they all scrambled futilely to put on their best poker faces. James quickly shifted to a neutral, mildly surprised expression as Winn, realising he was out of his depth, dropped his head and began to shovel food into his mouth at an alarming rate to avoid having to answer any questions from the old soldier.

Captain Dunn’s pinning gaze shifted, settling on Kara who flushed a bright red as she tried desperately to think of a way out of this conversation. 

Food sickness wouldn’t be believable, Kara had proven her stomach to be practically lead-lined over the course of her stay.

She couldn’t say she had to rush to their outing for the day since Dunn would be driving them and he would be able to question her far more easily once they were all trapped in a car together.

She flirted with the idea of just fainting there and then, but the fear of that getting back to Lena (or worse her sister) quickly ruled out that option.

“Me? Pfft… no… don’t be ridiculous…”, Kara replied, waving her hands around dangerously as she laughed exaggeratedly at the _ preposterous _ suggestion.

“Mmhmm…”, the soldier murmured completely unconvinced, his steely eyes not moving for even a second off Kara whose face burned brighter and brighter as she struggled to appear calm and at ease.

Kara gulped, sparing a glance at James and Winn (James was now making a big show of checking emails on his phone and Winn was valiantly trying to get rid of the hiccups he had self-inflicted by consuming his breakfast too fast), before leaning forward to mumble so only the Captain could hear, “You’re not going to mention this to… err… anyone in particular… are you?”

Kara could have sworn she saw a flicker of a smirk flash onto the old soldier’s face for less than a second before he raised an eyebrow and stated as disinterestedly as someone would when commenting on the weather, “Mention what? LYNX isn’t under my remit and CatCo had nothing to do with it… right?”

Kara nodded once, trying hard to keep the palpable relief from overwhelming her, “Right… yeah.” 

“Good.” Dunn declared, pushing his palms against the surface of the table to lift himself back to his feet, Kara kindly averted her eyes as he made to stand knowing the captain didn’t like people to see the minor tremble in his left leg. During his time with the CatCo team his noticeable limp had significantly decreased to something barely visible unless you knew when and where to look, which Kara did as she’d grown to care for the stoic soldier over their week together. 

Dunn’s leg trembled slightly whenever he stood up and he took a fraction longer to drop into a crouch than you would expect of someone with his fitness level. A particularly long day of standing around was draining for the soldier, though he would never admit it, just like Kara would never admit that she would suggest they head back to the Palace whenever she saw the soldier’s jaw tighten for too long in discomfort.

“When you’re ready, I’ll meet you all by the car.” Dunn informed them, bowing his head respectfully before about turning and heading towards the doors. Kara watched him leave with a curious tilt of her head. 

Kara hadn’t asked Lena why she had made Dunn CatCo’s security guard yet…

She knew the two of them shared some deep connection and history together if Dunn’s obvious awareness of Kara’s friendship with his Queen, Sam’s reactions, and Lena’s inclination to skirt the topic of the soldier at every opportunity, were any indication. Lena had said on numerous occasions that Kara could ask her anything, and though Kara truly believed Lena to be sincere and that Lena wouldn’t be even slightly dishonest when directly asked... Kara couldn’t find it within herself to actually voice the question. 

Kara wanted to  _ know _ . She just didn’t want to  _ ask. _

There was something  _ heavy _ in Lena’s eyes whenever Kara mentioned Dunn, as if Lena was silently begging for Kara not to push for too much information. Begging her silently to not ask just yet.

Kara didn’t want Lena to tell her unless she was ready. 

By actually asking the question Kara felt like she would be forcing Lena to answer even if she didn’t want to or didn’t feel ready to share. Lena may have said that there would be some things she wasn’t ready to talk about just yet, but Kara genuinely worried that Lena would force herself to answer despite that previous assertion. Kara was terrified Lena would push herself too far because she felt she would disappoint Kara if she didn’t or that she would give the impression that she didn’t trust Kara. 

None of that was true but Kara didn’t know how to tactfully bring up a way to correct those misconceptions. If this trip had taught her anything, it was that tact and subtlety were not skills in her wheelhouse.

Either way, Kara didn’t want to abuse or take advantage of Lena’s openness.

In Kara’s eyes she was earning Lena’s trust by not asking. 

Not asking about Captain Dunn’s limp. 

Not asking why the soldier was so absolutely loyal to his Queen. 

Not asking why Lena trusted Dunn so much. 

Not asking about the civil war. 

Not asking about her family.

Not asking about her brother... 

Lena would tell her when she was ready, and not a second before if Kara had any say in the matter.

Once Winn had finally got control of his hiccups, the three friends gathered their belongings and headed out to the car where Captain Dunn, practically stood at attention, was awaiting their arrival. The plan for that morning was to visit one of the decommissioned mines that King Lex had forced his subjects to work in under horrific conditions. It had been recently converted into a museum to serve as a reminder to the people to prevent this particular chapter of history from ever repeating itself. To balance the heaviness of the subject matter, one half focused on the past whilst the other half of the museum focused on environmental sciences and renewable energy highlighting an alternative option and future to the starker images littering the halls on the other side.

The car journey was quieter than normal, probably out of respect for the place they were visiting and upon arrival, a kindly older woman in her fifties happily offered to give them a tour sharing her incredible wealth of knowledge. Over the course of that morning, Kara learnt more and more about the cruelties and high fatalities the miners had to endure to avoid attracting the ire of their majesty who set them near impossible goals to meet. Their tour guide, eventually revealed herself to be the wife of one of the miners who hadn’t survived during Lex’s reign. Kara gently inquired if she would be interested in sharing her story which she agreed to in the hopes that her husband would be remembered by others.

The CatCo team spent far more time than originally planned at the museum, mostly because Kara couldn’t bear to leave the widower without hearing everything she wanted to share about the man she loved. Kara sat and listened attentively, not interrupting even when most of the stories the woman shared weren’t relevant to the article she was writing or anything she had originally asked about. 

Kara couldn’t care less about her article at that moment, not when this sweet old woman seemed to be de-aging with each story she told about her husband. James and Winn understood and appreciated what Kara was doing and they endeavoured to give the pair of women plenty of space to talk undisturbed. Not once did the two fellow reporters complain or try to rush Kara along. Captain Dunn, meanwhile, remained stood off to one-side, a silent sentinel watching over it all, Kara glanced at the soldier only once and saw that his eyes normally a steely grey appeared to have transitioned to a light, sky blue. 

By the time the team returned to the Palace, it was almost time for Kara’s interview that afternoon. It was the one Kara would have liked some more prep time for especially as she still hadn’t overly settled on the main topic. She was knowledgeable enough to ask considered questions on the subject matter but Kara had to wing it for the most part on having a strategy. 

Kara hoped it wouldn’t go too badly.

“Why isn’t your face on the Theonian pound?” Kara asked the second she had pushed through the door into the kitchen, startling Lena somewhat as she dropped her tablet onto the counter as she whipped round to see Kara staring at her with pursed lips and a quizzical gaze.

Lena cocked her head to the side in mild bemusement, “Because the lovely national monuments and places of interest that shape this fair country are already occupying that space.”

“In a recent poll, over seventy percent of the nation expressed a preference for their monarch’s profile over any monument or famous historical figure when it came to the design of their currency.” Kara spitfired off without hesitation.

Lena blinked once in surprise, her jaw moving up and down before she muttered, “You sound just like-...” 

Lena’s brow furrowed instantly and her green eyes narrowed their focus in on Kara, who began to squirm under the scrutiny as realisation washed over the dark haired woman. 

“Wait a minute.” Lena held up a single finger, pinning the fidgeting reporter to the spot, “You had an interview with the finance minister, didn’t you?” The blush that radiated over Kara’s cheek was as good as a yes. “Oh my god, he convinced you! You’ve become a mini me of him. I’m having the same argument I have every other week!” Lena ranted, throwing her hands around in complete surrender and frustration

“He raised some good points…” Kara murmured meekly to the grey tiled floor which had captured her attention.

“I’ve heard them all.” Lena declared, crossing her arms over her chest to brace for the array of reasons Kara was undoubtedly about to throw at her.

Kara lifted her chin, summoning her courage to hold her ground, “It’s traditional.”

“So was the dictatorship.” Lena fired back with a pleased smirk.

“It gives the country a sense of national pride.” Kara bit back, adjusting her glasses smugly in return.

Lena snorted and shook her head, “If my face is what national pride is riding on, the government and I are failing spectacularly at our jobs.”

Kara twitched slightly, as she struggled to fend off defeat, “It shows faith in the longevity of the currency and the financial institution it depends on?” It came out more like a question than a definitive statement much to Kara’s chagrin.

“Clutching at straws…” Lena teased, clicking her tongue before letting out a sigh and giving Kara a soft smile as she asked, “What’s the real reason?”

“I…” Kara shrugged helplessly, stuttering out the simple truth, “I think you’d look good on the money, that’s all…”

“That’s sweet, and I appreciate the sentiment.” Lena responded, her bright green eyes revealing the earnestness of her reply. “The truth is, however,” Lena’s smile shifted to her signature coy smirk, “I don’t like the idea of my face being shoved into a stripper’s thong…”

“Eww…” Kara immediately groaned, her face scrunching up as she wished brain bleach existed so that she could erase the horrific images currently playing out in high definition in her mind’s eye, “I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Yeah, the finance minister doesn’t like it when I bring up that point either.” Lena proudly admitted.

“You know after some reflection…” Kara announced, “I quite like the trees and the royal observatory.”

“Mmhmm…” Lena hummed knowingly; patting the unoccupied chair beside her to invite Kara over to join her. “So… umm… I was wondering…” Lena timidly began, avoiding Kara’s gaze as the blonde slipped into the seat next to her, “if maybe you had the second Harry Potter book with you?”

“You finished it?” Kara gasped out excitedly, grabbing Lena’s forearm and giving it a gentle squeeze of encouragement.

“Yeah… I couldn’t put it down. I loved it.” Lena shyly confessed, biting her bottom lip nervously.

“I have the second one, I can bring it tomorrow night.” Kara promised, already moving to pull out her phone to set a reminder for herself when she heard-

“Ah…”

“Ah?” Kara’s head jerked up from her phone screen to look curiously at Lena who had deflated significantly in the space of a couple of seconds, “Why ah? No one says Ah for a good reason…” Kara pressed, worry causing her stomach to clench uncomfortably, “except dentists… actually that just further backs up my point...”

“What about when someone solves a puzzle? They say Ah.” Lena interrupted, preventing Kara from continuing a ramble that would probably result in Kara revealing how she had accidentally nearly bitten off her last dentist’s fingers.

“No, they say A-ha.” Kara corrected getting easily side-tracked, “Totally different. And you definitely said Ah, not A-ha.” Kara nodded her head vigorously as if to highlight her agreement with herself, “So what’s wrong?”

Lena exhaled slowly and deeply, her eyes downcast and lacking all vibrancy, “I can’t make tomorrow night for our evening dinner.”

“Oh.” Kara whispered, her face going completely blank as she struggled to cope with the feeling of all the air being forced out of her lungs in one great ‘whoosh’.

“I am so sorry.” Lena apologised almost desperately, before shifting into a ramble that even Alex would find impressive despite the years she had spent with Kara, “It’s just… Ruby is having kind of a hard time at school, Sam is rushed off her feet with organising all the reporters and I promised Ruby that I would always make time for her if she needed me-”

“Lena, you don’t have to explain. I understand.” Kara cut in quietly, yet firmly, her capacity to speak finally returning to her upon seeing that Lena was just as hurt by this change of plan as she was.

Kara didn’t Lena to feel guilty, not when she was obviously doing the right thing. 

Of course Kara understood, she would do the same if Alex, James or Winn needed her and she knew, without a doubt, that Lena would understand and accept this change if the roles were reversed. Lena would offer support and wouldn’t complain even slightly, and Kara wanted to do the same. She didn’t want to be petty and jealous. She definitely didn’t want to make Lena feel bad for being there for Ruby just because she wanted Lena to herself.

“I don’t want you to have to understand.” Lena murmured her hands moving to intertwine her fingers with Kara’s.

“Lena, it’s okay.” Kara reassured, swallowing thickly, “We have other nights.”

“We have two nights, not including this one, Kara.” Lena said, her words harsh and her tone cracking under the weight of what it meant for them. “That’s it. Two nights and then…” Lena trailed off, neither of them willing to finish or even acknowledge that truth.

“I know…” Kara whispered, her thumbs tracing soft, soothing shapes over Lena’s knuckles.

“I want to see you tomorrow, but I-” 

“I know.” Kara repeated, pulling gently on their joined hands so that Lena fell slowly towards her and into a welcoming embrace. 

Lena quickly wrapped her arms tightly in return around Kara, her chin resting on Kara’s shoulder causing their cheeks to brush softly against one another. Kara held Lena close, cherishing the feel of every inhale and exhale which caused Lena’s chest to expand and retract in her arms. She loved feeling the sheer life coursing through Lena. Loved knowing that Lena felt safe and wanted in her arms. 

It was simply the best feeling in the world.

“We have tonight.” Kara eventually breathed out sadly.

“We have tonight.” Lena affirmed, turning her head ever so slightly to brush her lips against Kara’s flushed cheek for no more than a couple of seconds. 

It was enough, though, for Kara.

It was enough for Kara’s heart to skip a beat.

It was enough for an electric current to cascade through her nerves stronger than any spark she had experienced with anyone else.

It was enough for Kara to never want to let Lena go.

It was enough for Kara to know that leaving Lena was probably going to shatter her heart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it slightly twisted that I am looking forward to the pain the next chapter is likely to cause for all of you?
> 
> Probably a little...
> 
> But, don't forget... I have promised unbearable amounts of fluff in the future. A little bit of angst is worth it in the long run, right?


	16. This is Not a Fairy Tale

Kara turned off the hot water, wringed out her long, damp hair, flicked it over her shoulder and pushed back the shower curtain. She reached out for the towel she had left hanging on the back of the cubicle door only for her hand to grasp at empty air.

“Huh…”, Kara murmured, brushing the droplets dripping into her eyes aside to properly examine the small space in front of her. There was no light blue towel against the door, or on the floor or on the shelf where her clothes were meant to be.

Then came the even more concerning observation... no clothes.

“Sh-sugar…”, Kara swore, her face falling as she realised that LYNX had undoubtedly taken their revenge. Kara worried her lip as she tried to push aside the embarrassment and distress to properly think through her options.

“Hello! Err… anyone else here?!” Kara tried calling out, despite knowing it to be a futile effort. She was showering rather late in the morning, everyone else had already gone to breakfast and no one would be returning to the female shower rooms until at least early evening.

It was her own fault really, Kara thought harshly.

Last night, she and Lena had stayed up even later than usual, the knowledge they would miss out on each other’s company the next night had caused them to prolong their time together. Kara had crawled into bed in the early hours of the morning, only to be woken up far sooner than she would have liked.

Luckily for Kara, however, the CatCo team planned to visit the war memorial commemorating everyone who had lost their lives during Lex’s reign and the civil war. Since it wasn’t an appropriate place to seek out interviews or quotes, the focus was to be on taking photos and the emotions the place invoked, therefore they didn’t have to rush providing Kara the rare opportunity to stay in bed for a little longer.

Showering much later than everyone else was now an unfortunate side effect.

Kara bit the inside of her cheek and wrapped her arms tightly around herself trying to retain some of the warmth she was quickly losing without the heat of the water. The palace was old and lacked fully effective heating or insulation, meaning Kara would be shivering soon if she didn’t get dry anytime soon.

CatCo’s accommodation was two _long_ corridors away, and all the other journalists’ rooms flanked the route. It would take nothing less than a miracle for her to make it to her room without being seen.

Kara spent the next ten minutes working up the courage to exit the cubicle and then another minute taking deep, reassuring breaths before poking her head through the door to scout out the first corridor. The fear of LYNX lying in wait made her pause and listen attentively for so much as a creaking floorboard. Only once she was satisfied that she was completely alone did Kara slip through the gap, using the door to provide cover for as long as possible before shuffling to the nearest wall and keeping her back against it to prevent being crept up on.

She kept one arm wrapped around her chest, whilst she hunched over to shield her lower half from view as much as possible. The posture and the odd placement of her limbs made running difficult and Kara could just imagine getting caught sprinting naked through the corridors and getting accused of juvenile streaking, only to be taken into custody still naked and then put on trial for the masses where Frank-

Kara shook her head vigorously.

Now was not the time to be indulging her wild imagination and zoning out of reality. She had to get back to her room completely unnoticed.

Kara proceeded to tread softly down the corridor, her heart beating frantically and uncontrollably in her chest every time a floorboard creaked underneath her feet. By the end of the first corridor, Kara was convinced she’d lost five years off her life with the strain her nerves were currently under. She peeked around the corner, grateful to find the homestretch clear. With the end now fully in sight, Kara put on a burst of speed and jogged towards the door, her hand connected with the door handle and she shoved her shoulder against it-

The door remained resiliently shut.

“Fuuuu…”, Kara barely stopped herself from letting out her first ever swear word and chose instead to bang her head against the door as she bit back the sting of tears pricking at her eyes. James and Winn must have gone to breakfast ahead of her, and ever since LYNX’s earlier intrusion, the three friends had become habitual about locking the door if none of them were in.

“Miss Danvers.”

Kara swallowed thickly, trying to stop a sob from escaping as she recognised the neutral tone of Captain Dunn from somewhere to her right. She pressed herself closer to the door in a poor attempt to hide. “C-Captain… I… err…”, Kara simply couldn’t get the words, she felt utterly humiliated and she couldn’t even bring herself to turn and face the soldier whose opinion she had grown to respect deeply.

An unexpected weight suddenly appeared on Kara’s shoulders, she quickly blinked her eyes open and glanced down to find her body covered for the most part by a familiar and still slightly warm black military jacket with purple detailing. The jacket, thankfully, reached down to mid-thigh due to how much taller and broader the old soldier was.

Kara didn’t hesitate to wrap the piece of clothing tightly around herself before turning to face the Captain, whose expression was considerately blank, his light blue eyes were focused upwards and Kara didn’t doubt for a second that he wouldn’t even consider glancing down.

“Thank you.” Kara whispered gratefully, her voice scratchy and her gaze locked on the floor, too embarrassed to meet his eye for an extended period.

“Not necessary, Miss Danvers.” The soldier replied gently in contrast to his composed, slightly disinterested mask. He gestured to the side with a careful movement of his left hand indicating for Kara to step away from the door, “I have a key.” He explained; Kara quickly shuffled aside, giving the Captain room to pull forth a key (presumably universal for all the journalists’ rooms) and swiftly unlock the door, holding it open for Kara to dive inside and out of the exposed corridor. “I’ll be out here for you, Miss Danvers.” Dunn murmured before closing the door behind Kara, giving her back her privacy.

Kara ran to her room, diving into the first clothes she could find and finished drying her damp hair. She spent longer than necessary getting ready, trying to regain control of her emotions after feeling so exposed and humiliated.

Dunn was waiting outside as promised; Kara presumed he had stayed to make her feel safe and to get his jacket back since he looked surprisingly underdressed in the normally hidden away long sleeved, plain black shirt.

“Here. Thank you, again.” Kara murmured meekly, holding out the jacket as she stepped through the door.

Dunn pursed his lips and nodded once before taking the proffered item, “Miss Danvers, do you want to tell me what happened?”

“It was a stupid prank.” Kara muttered bitterly.

“Seemed more cruel than anything else.” The soldier remarked, pinning Kara in place with his observant stare which always made Kara feel like it would be in her best interest to confess and turn in all of her friends before it was too late.

Kara shrugged dismissively, attempting to put some levity into her next words, “It’s nothing, seriously. It was the whole… take the towel and clothes trick when showering… _so_ overdone.” Kara chuckled as she waved her hand in a ‘don’t worry about it’ way.

Dunn sighed heavily, Kara immediately knew he wasn’t convinced, “Miss Danvers”, he began, his tone strong and determined.

“Please don’t tell Lena.” Kara begged before she had a chance to stop herself. The request had come out without any filter. Dunn’s eyes widened in surprise and Kara continued to rush out words without any control, “The Queen or her majesty, whichever is the correct one to call her… please, don’t tell her. She’ll-”

“Want to protect you?” The Captain cut in, his jaw tightening imperceptibly.

“Yeah.” Kara breathed out, “But I don’t… she can’t step in, you know that. And she’ll want to but she can’t. You know how it would look if our…” Kara had to pause her almost incoherent ramble as she struggled to find the right term to describe her relationship with Lena, “friendship...”

God, that did not sound right on Kara’s lips or to her ears and Dunn’s raised eyebrow (which she didn’t notice) suggested the same opinion.

“...was discovered. And it would be if Le- uh... Her majesty stepped in.” Kara cleared her throat, “People would figure it out and she can’t… she deserves to be protected too.” Kara whispered the last bit out, knowing she was revealing a significant amount about her own feelings than she probably should.

Dunn remained quiet for a long time as he considered what Kara was saying, “I understand. I will respect your request, because it is not my place to share _your_ secrets unless it has a direct impact on her majesty’s safety.”

Kara let out a heavy sigh of relief, the tension rolling out of her.

“You should know, however,” Dunn continued causing Kara to look at him sharply in mild surprise, “that I think you should still speak to her majesty. You are important to her and… don’t ever repeat this…” The Captain warned his expression twisting for a moment before softening out, “what hurts her worse than anything else is feeling like she can’t protect those she cares about. Consider telling her, because it will only hurt her more in the long run if she feels like she failed you.”

“That makes no sense,” Kara refuted with a firm shake of her head though she registered everything else the soldier was saying as it caused her chest to feel hollowed out, “she’ll logically know she couldn’t have done anything if I didn’t tell her and-”

“There’s no logic when it comes to… _friendship_ , Miss Danvers.” Captain Dunn interrupted curtly, as he dug into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief which he promptly handed to Kara, who accepted it mildly taken aback.

It was only as she glanced down to examine the piece of fabric that she saw a drop of moisture fall from her face. She realised that her hurried ramble a few moments ago had been accompanied by desperate tears.

“Wouldn’t you agree?” Dunn asked knowingly whilst Kara carefully wiped away the track of tears on her cheeks.

Once suitably recovered, Kara crept into the dining hall, keeping her head down and refusing to spare so much as a glance at the LYNX table from which sniggers and poorly hushed comments were coming. She needn’t have worried though with Captain Dunn following stealthily behind her with a dark and formidable snarl on his face which he aimed at the LYNX team causing them to dutifully shut up and make a well-timed escape.

James and Winn were digging happily into their food and gave her a warm greeting as she sank into her customary chair. Kara pondered for a long moment whether to tell them about LYNX’s revenge prank or not but the fear that they would do the same to her friends helped make her mind up. She wanted to give them forewarning to be prepared.

James and Winn were undeniably livid, especially after seeing how uncomfortable Kara felt. They instantly devolved into trying to come up with their own revenge which Kara appreciated on a surface level but she really just wanted comfort and a distraction away from what had happened. With a heavy sigh, Kara pushed aside her own issues to speak up and tell her friends that she was putting a proper stop to their prank war.

No revenge.

“We’re taking the high road from now on… like we should have done from the very start.” Kara declared defiantly, bringing the conversation to a grinding halt. James and Winn made to argue but Kara channelled Alex’s cop persona and Lena’s Queen persona to feed her own unwavering expression. She must have gone too far in channelling Alex, since Winn flinched and James even blanched slightly. Kara didn’t feel too guilty, however, since both of them accepted her command without complaint from then on.

The rest of breakfast passed quietly by for the CatCo team, partly due to their conflicting feelings regarding LYNX’s most recent prank, but mostly due to where they were heading next.

The memorial, and the large graveyard that it stood eternal in front of, was located on the outskirts of National City in a quiet space where the emerald forests began to take over. Captain Dunn drove them there in a solemn, respectful silence that the CatCo team mimicked.

White gravestones littered the open space in perfectly spaced out rows, the grass was immaculate and kept in perfect condition. The memorial itself marked the entrance to the cemetery, it consisted of an archway with two open walls made out of black marble. Names in stark white were engraved all over it, standing out in contrast to the dark stone, practically forcing a passerby to stop and read every single name. The centrepiece, however, was a tree carved in exquisite detail out of matching stone that would make it appear dead and twisted if it wasn’t for the bronze leaves and veins which added vitality and hope to the harsh image.

Kara had always found places that commemorate great losses of life carried a certain weight and heaviness with them that emptied all other thoughts and concerns out of her mind. She hung back and took the time to read every name, committing some to memory, and then traced the gilt veins of the tree statue with her forefinger.

Captain Dunn, once reassured they were safe and there were no threats around, wandered the graves pausing here and there to pay his respects. Winn kept close to Kara, graveyards and memorials always made the young man uncomfortable, Kara knew it reminded him too much of his father’s actions so she didn’t begrudge his company. James, on the other hand, had to stay in work mode requiring a level of disassociation. Kara watched him closely knowing this would take a heavy toll on him later.

The journey back was as equally quiet as the journey there. The second the car was parked back at the Palace, everyone went their separate ways, needing to be alone with their thoughts and find solace. James decided to go for a long walk, Dunn disappeared back to the barracks and Winn hid away with his favourite video game in his room.

Kara also decided to retreat back to her room and flopped unceremoniously onto her bed, wanting to be alone but with someone else there.

Alex would know instinctively what she meant from their numerous quiet sister nights that often came after hard days where they would barely exchange a few words as they watched movie after movie side by side in relative silence.

Alone but together.

Kara wondered if Lena would know what she meant. Considering how they spent a large portion of their day at the lake in comfortable silence, Kara was adamant that she would.

It helped to imagine Lena there with her. Kara knew that Lena was planning on taking Loki for a ride over lunch, especially since Kara had spent time last night encouraging her to do just that so Kara knew she could probably seek her out at the stables if she so desired. She didn’t, however, want to intrude on Lena’s rare private time, she wanted Lena taking time for herself to become a habit and she didn’t want to deter that in any way.

Therefore, Kara simply imagined Lena sitting there on the bed with her, stroking her fingers through her blonde hair as Kara napped and Lena read the next Harry Potter. It was such a calming image that Kara could feel herself on the precipice of dozing off when her phone buzzed loudly, shattering the mental image.  

Kara let out a disappointed sigh before rolling over onto her stomach to scoop up her phone and read the incoming text message.

**[Alex] Can you call me as soon as you get a chance?**

Now that was worrying.

Not only was it super late (or early) back in Metropolis but Alex never asked for Kara to call when she was free. She would either order Kara to phone her or she would just phone her. Alex asking meant something had happened but she didn’t want to worry Kara, which only made Kara worry more. It was a vicious feedback loop that had Kara jolting up and scrambling for her laptop to open up Skype and call her sister.

The call rang out only once before Alex accepted it, revealing that she had probably been sat waiting patiently on the other side.

“Hey- Alex!” The dark screen lit up and Kara began to call out a greeting before she gasped in shock and concern upon registering her sister’s appearance.

Alex’s mascara was running, leaving black tracks down her cheeks, her hair was messy and unkempt from where she had obviously been dragging her fingers through it frantically. Her eyes were downcast and dull, lacking their usual fiery, determined spark. She was still dressed in her work clothes, though her shirt looked particularly bedraggled and creased, and the leather jacket she adored was flung haphazardly on the back of her chair. She was supporting her head with one hand and loosely gripping a glass tumbler of amber liquid.

“I’m fine, I’m fine…”, Alex mumbled, her voice raspy from emotion, as she lifted her head and tried to soften downturned lips into a smile but only managed a frown, “at least I will be… it’s just… it’s been kind of a tough week.” Alex chuckled darkly causing Kara’s stomach to twist torturously, and her fingers to twitch with the unattainable desire of reaching out to pull her sister into a tight hug.

“Alex. I’m listening, okay? Talk to me, please.” Kara urged desperately, leaning forward in a strange attempt to reduce the distance between them.

“I don’t…”, Alex shook her head, dislodging the hand on her forehead so that it dropped down to cover her eyes. “I really miss you…” Alex mumbled, and the twist to Kara’s intestine’s solidified in response as pain and guilt flooded Kara’s system, “and Mum… and Winn, and James, and…” Alex’s voice dropped to a barely audible whisper as she continued her list, “Dad… and Maggie.”

Kara swallowed thickly, trying to keep the sympathy tears at bay, instead choosing to ask the important question first, “Alex, how much have you had to drink?”

Kara still remembered the days when Alex was grappling with darkness and confusion during her coming out, a bottle of liquor not too far from her hand at all times of day. Alex’s attempts at seeking solace in a bottle started after Jeremiah died, it was only a timely intervention (and one of the few times Kara had ever heard Eliza yell) that had prevented Alex from going down a much darker path. It was Kara’s intervention years later that stopped it again. Since then Alex had become acutely aware of her tendencies and had worked hard to establish more appropriate coping mechanisms.

“A lot, but not as much you think or fear.” Alex replied immediately with a steady and strong tone which backed up her reassurance.

Kara exhaled deeply in relief; she was now calm enough to probe into what had produced such a state of distress in the first place, “Is… this related to the case?” Kara began tentatively, scrutinising the somewhat grainy image of her sister closely for her usual tells.

“Yes, and no.” Alex huffed out, removing the hand from over her eyes as she lifted her head to take a swig from her glass, “God, I’m not making any sense am I?” Alex whined, depositing her glass to the side with a slight ‘thunk’ which revealed her lack of coordination. Kara was pleased to see that Alex didn’t move to refill her empty glass which was a definite victory.

“Take your time, alright?” Kara encouraged, “Start from the beginning. I’m not going anywhere.”

Alex finally lifted her gaze and made eye contact, a sad smile on her lips that Kara returned with sympathy. Alex breathed deeply, readying herself to share when all of a sudden her eyes widened and her brow furrowed. “Fu- You’re interviewing the president guy today aren’t you? I shouldn’t-” Alex exclaimed, her slowly brightening expression vanishing to be replaced with an even more distraught one than earlier.

“Stop it!” Kara snapped harshly; Alex stared back with extraordinarily high raised eyebrows at her sister’s fierce glare that succeeded in yanking Alex out of her downward spiral with a sharp shock.  “Firstly, it’s _prime minister_ , not president.” Kara corrected, raising a finger in warning for Alex to remain silent and to count off her points, “I will let you off for your factual inaccuracy because of your state of heavy inebriation.”

Alex smiled at the remark and a dry laugh escaped far more sincere than the previous dark chuckle.

“And secondly… and by far the most important…” Kara emphasised her statement by pointing directly at Alex through the screen, “you matter more than any stupid interview. Winn or James can easily handle it.” Kara affirmed, shrugging lightly as she added almost proudly, “I have written enough notes in preparation that even Mike could do it. _You_ are what matters. Now, talk to me… please.” Kara begged employing her best puppy dog eyes.

“I love you, you know that, right?” Alex whispered after a slight pause, her expression soft and affectionate removing the heavy tension that had been weighing her down.

“I know.” Kara agreed with a humble murmur.

Alex let out a heavy sigh and folded her arms in front of her before announcing, “Maggie’s moved on. She’s dating someone else…”

“Alex.” Kara winced at the revelation, understanding sweeping through her.

“The case…” Alex coughed out, pushing forward and ignoring Kara’s offered comfort for the time being, “it was one I had worked on with Maggie when we were…” Alex stumbled over the unsaid relationship term, “she’s been around for the last few days and… it’s been hard.” Alex confessed, her whole body shaking with the effort of admitting to her struggles.

“We broke up for a good reason, I know that. _I know that_ .” Alex repeated, her hands flexing with the desire to prove that belief. “But it doesn’t make it… it still _hurts_ you know. And she’s moved on… and she’s happy. Which I’m glad about, don’t get me wrong…”, Kara nodded in understanding, the break-up had been amicable and for all the right reasons.

Alex wanted children in the future and Maggie didn’t.

Neither was wrong but neither would have been happy if they had stayed together. Breaking up was the right thing to do but it didn’t automatically remove the years of them being together and being in love.

The love was still there, it probably always would be.

Kara didn’t know which was better or worse. Having an amicable break-up where you both still love each other but having to reconcile the fact that you just weren’t meant to be. Or breaking-up where the feelings had diminished to non-existent or had twisted into something else.

One gave a harsh break with a quicker recovery time whereas the other was a clean break with long lasting effects and a constant ‘what if’ companion.

Kara knew which she would prefer.

“But the pain is still there for me. And this time you’re not around and neither is Mum. I don’t even have James or Winn. It was just a _lot_ to handle and I just felt… alone.” Alex hung her head ashamedly.

“I am so sorry I wasn’t there-” Kara rapidly started to apologise, her throat tightening around the lump forming in her throat.

“Kara, don’t.” Alex interrupted quickly, her brown eyes warming up to highlight her fondness and care. “You’re always there for me.”

“Still…”, Kara sighed despondently, “I’m sorry we kept missing each other. I should have made more time. If I had known-”

“Now who needs to stop it?” Alex cut in yet again, this time her more familiar stern glare had returned to pin a nervously fidgeting Kara in place. “You’re on a once in a lifetime trip, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to ruin that.”

“I want to know these things, Alex.” Kara almost shouted in her fervour to remove any doubt from Alex’s mind. “Alright, enough apologising.” Kara finally declared, holding her hands up in surrender. “Do you want to talk through everything properly, no high level summary?” She offered gently, hoping to provide her sister with as much support as she could. “I wouldn’t mind hearing about my kick ass sister solving her case.”

Alex smiled shyly and rolled her eyes at the compliment, taking a second to recompose herself before lurching into the whole tale. She told Kara about the witness coming in, about reaching out to Maggie, seeing her for the first time, spending time together as they went over the details lost over the haze of time. She described their main suspect, their investigation into his now worthless alibi and the interrogation.

Getting the confession had taken them most of the night and after that gruelling experience Alex and Maggie had agreed to return to their old haunt to celebrate. A couple of beers in, however, Maggie’s new girlfriend had arrived who Alex had to admit was lovely and perfect for Maggie in every way which was what unsettled Alex the most. Alex stayed for a perfunctory drink with the happy couple before hightailing it out of there to return to her own apartment where she proceeded to crack open her own alcohol reserves and wait for her sister to reply.

“Do you want to know a secret?” Alex asked timidly; she no longer looked intoxicated but merely exhausted.

“Always.” Kara responded instantly, watching fondly as her sister yawned widely, pleased to know Alex would sleep well soon.

“I would do it all again.” Alex mumbled, her eyes drooping with sleepiness.

“Do what?” Kara inquired curiously, with a quirked smile.

“Date Maggie.” Alex said without hesitation.

Kara’s eyebrow raised sharply and she tilted her head to one side in complete confusion, “Even though you know how it ends? That it ends?”

“Yeah.” Alex breathed out wistfully, nodding her head firmly. “That happiness… those wonderful memories… everything I learnt about myself and her… it was more than worth it regardless of the ending.” Kara’s mouth opened and closed, as a tight, constricting grip seized her heart and a bolt of adrenaline rushed through her system. The state of shock, of understanding, of pure comprehension overwhelmed her to such a degree that she almost missed Alex’s next question. “Now, are you going to tell me about how your last few days have gone?”

Kara blinked rapidly, coming out of a trance-like state as images and scenarios kept playing on repeat in her mind’s eye. “Actually… I…” Kara choked out, her body thrumming with energy ready to be unleashed and thrown towards what she really wanted.

“Kara?”

“I need to go do something.” Kara said, pushing the computer off her lap as she made to get to her feet. “Can I tell you about my day later?” She requested pleadingly, already grabbing her jacket and pulling it on.

“Yeah…” Alex replied knowingly, her characteristic smirk finally making an appearance, “go get her.”

“I don’t…” Kara stammered, a deep red blush covering her cheeks, she shook her head at her own bashfulness, “Thanks.”

“No… thank you.” Alex affirmed, her brown eyes sparkling with affection, before hitting the disconnect button allowing Kara to start her sprint through the Palace corridors and out into the gardens following the path Lena took her along only a few days ago. Her surroundings passed by in a barely recognisable blur as her heart pounded to such a degree that if Kara had been more with it she would have feared that it was on the verge of exploding or giving out.

Kara couldn’t decide whether the run to the stables passed by in the blink of an eye or took an eternity when she came to pulling open the side door and stepping inside. She paused to glance around, re-familiarising herself with her surroundings and trying to remember if Loki’s stall was to the left or right.

“Kara?”

Kara’s head whipped around to see Lena coming out of a stall, Loki’s nose lightly nudging her shoulder as if to push her forwards. Kara’s mouth hung open as she committed this moment to memory. Lena’s cheeks were ruddy due to her horse ride, her hair was wilder and more windswept than usual. Her dark trousers were speckled with mud, her riding jacket has obviously been thrown over the half-wall of Loki’s stall as she took care of her companion and her dark green t-shirt was tucked into her trousers to keep it out of the way.

“Lena...” Kara breathed out in awe as she stumbled forward.

“Kara…” Lena repeated, her eyes wide with concern as she scrutinised Kara’s appearance and expression, spotting a cause for worry in the lines and shadows marking her face due to the earlier morning events, “What’s happened? What’s wrong?”

“I…” Kara began, coming to halting stop a foot or so away from Lena, unable to find the words that would explain.

Lena immediately reached out once Kara was within her orbit, one hand gently resting on Kara’s elbow whilst the other hand intertwined it’s fingers with Kara’s. “What can I do?” Lena asked without hesitation, her green eyes vibrant and full of that concern Kara had witnessed the first night they met.

Kara didn’t know whether it was Lena’s soft touch which electrified her nerves or her caring green eyes that made her feel safe, at home and like she belonged. It was probably a combination of the two that had Kara leaning forward to brush her lips ever so gently over Lena’s.

If holding Lena’s hand gave her electric shocks, kissing Lena was like getting struck by a thousand lightning bolts.

Kara leant back just enough to examine Lena’s face, and found the raven haired woman’s eyes were closed and her face was free of its usual tension and lines. Kara smiled to herself before diving forwards to reconnect their lips because in all honesty, one light brush wasn’t enough, nor would it ever be enough.

Kara’s free hand, the one that wasn’t now gripping Lena’s one tightly, lifted up to the nape of Lena’s neck, her fingers catching and entangling in Lena’s dark, silky locks. She lightly guided Lena towards her, as she sweetly captured Lena’s bottom lip between hers.

Lena remained motionless and unresponsive for a second, in that time panic and regret began to swirl and grow in the pit of Kara’s stomach when, all of a sudden, Lena was kissing her back fiercely, almost desperately. Lena’s hand transferred from Kara’s elbow to her hip and she proceeded to tug her forward, removing the space between them.

Kara lost herself in Lena’s warm embrace and the single greatest kiss of her life.

She felt like she was flying, every atom in her body was vibrating to such a degree she was half surprised that she hadn’t shot into the sky with the energy thrumming through her, and the only thing keeping her anchored was Lena.

Despite feeling blessed with superpowers, an unlimited air supply was not one of them and Kara had to regretfully pull back leaving a final lingering kiss as she did so. Kara’s smile was so bright and beaming her face could barely contain it as she took a deep breath and opened her eyes.

“Wow.” Kara whispered unable to form any other coherent thought as she stared deeply into her favourite shade of green. Kara’s hand shifted round from the back of Lena’s neck to caress her cheek, and run her thumb over kiss-swollen lips which immediately began to ease Lena’s breathing that was coming out in a light stutter.

It was once Kara moved forward again to resume exploring Lena’s lips that she felt the resistance.

Lena’s grip on her hip was no longer tugging her forward but pushing her back. Kara blinked in surprise, coming out of her dazed state to find Lena’s warm expression replaced with something stiff, her green eyes were duller and sheened with moisture.

“I can’t, I’m sorry.” Lena murmured, dropping her head as she stepped back, putting space between the two of them and breaking all of their points of connection.

Kara’s jaw moved up and down as her heart rate dropped from the excited thrum to hollow, barely there beats.

Her heart didn’t feel like it had broken.

No... it felt like it had turned to stone.

“No, no…” Kara eventually managed to stammer out putting on her best ‘everything is okay and I’m in control of this’ voice. She bit back against the tears as she wrapped her arms protectively around her waist, “That was on me… I shouldn’t have... I’m going to go-” She gestured vaguely with the flick of her wrist to somewhere behind her as she started to walk backwards, keeping her eyes on the ground.

“No, Kara. I… I…” There was an audible crack to Lena’s whimpered plea that had Kara looking up instinctively, unable to bear hearing her own pain mirrored in Lena’s tone. Tears were falling freely from Lena’s eyes and her hands were twitching at her sides as she shook her head, whispering defeatedly, “I can’t give you a fairy tale.”

“It’s fine, Lena.” Kara replied instantly, not wanting Lena to feel guilty for not returning her feelings. Not wanting Lena to have to say that Kara wasn’t the one she was looking for. That Kara could never and would never be her happy ending.

Kara turned on her heel, and retreated to the door.

“No, it’s not.” Lena continued to explain over choked out sobs, though she remained rooted to the spot. Kara did her best to ignore the statement and any justification, but even she couldn’t help but freeze when Lena yelled out her name, “Kara!” The blonde stopped just short of wrenching open the door and making her escape. “Just because I _can’t…_ doesn’t mean I don’t _want_ to.” Lena confessed with heartbreaking sincerity in the unnaturally still and silent stable.

Kara froze as the words and everything they meant washed over her.

It should have made her happy. Lena felt the same way. She wanted more but she couldn’t give it to Kara.

The truth is, though, that revelation just made it hurt so much more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... sorry about that.
> 
> You have a Lena POV chapter next.
> 
> Also remember... happy endings are assured here.


	17. The Queen's Loss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So had to split the chapter I was working on in half because it worked better that way and it was getting a bit too long for my liking.

Lena curled up protectively on the swept, hard floor of the stable as violent sobs wracked her body and tears trickled endlessly down her face.

Lena had cried a sum total of five times since she was seven years old. 

Lena counted from the age of seven because that was the year her father told her tears were only for children free from responsibility. It had been a harsh and cruelly given command to a small child who had just broken her arm falling out of an oak tree in the palace gardens. It wasn't until Lena witnessed the unconditional love and support Sam freely gave Ruby that Lena found herself re-evaluating and recognising the callous treatment she had received from her father for what it truly was.

Lena had spent the rest of her childhood learning to bite her tongue, harden her once soft green eyes and suppressing every hurt to keep the tears from falling, thus producing long lasting and damaging effects on the young princess. She didn’t go to people for help, didn’t share her feelings with others easily and she was already hard to read with the mask she had to put on for her queenly duties. All of this created a person deeply familiar with being alone. Lena, though, had to admit it more than suitably prepared her for the loneliness that came with sitting on the throne.    

Lena had broken the order given to her by her father five times since the day she learned to swallow her sobs and not climb the tree overlooking the royal offices. 

The day her mother died.

The day she realised her brother had become a monster.

The day she nearly died. 

The day of her coronation.

And finally, today.

Today, Lena wasn’t simply dealing with her own personal feelings of loss. And it was a _loss,_ despite being the one to say no, despite being the one to decide that nothing could happen. Lena had turned down her dream girl. The kindest, sweetest, most charming woman in the world.

Kara kissing her was probably the happiest moment of Lena’s life. 

The closest description Lena could give the experience was the feeling astronauts must get when they see Earth from space for the very first time. Seeing that blue and green marble contrasting vibrantly and triumphantly against the pitch black, realising how utterly and absolutely breathtaking this planet was and has always been. 

That was Kara. 

Life and colour in the darkness. Breathtaking at all times.

The second Kara had brushed her lips against Lena’s, it was the closest Lena had ever come to throwing every single responsibility the crown had laden her with aside, and putting herself first. It was the closest she had ever come to being purely selfish.

It was a loss because the Queen was giving up everything Lena wanted.

Truthfully, she could survive her own personal loss. She was old friends with it. 

What really tipped her over the edge, what truly brought her to that elusive number five, was Kara. It would always be Kara.

Today was the day she had hurt Kara after promising never to do so again.

The tears had begun to fall uncontrollably as soon as she saw the pain in Kara’s blue eyes. A pain she had put there. Her heart and every carefully crafted barrier she had penned her emotions in with shattered with that realisation. 

The only comfort she had following Kara’s departure, was the soft nuzzling and heavy breaths of Loki against her hair. The horse upon seeing his best friend in such distress stretched his neck as far out over the half wall as he could in order to make physical contact. His calming presence, eventually coaxed Lena to free her arms from around herself to wrap instead around the old horse and soothingly stroke his neck. 

“Your majesty?” 

Lena lifted her head up, unburying it from Loki’s mane to see Commander Lane walking towards her, worried creases marking her face, a set frown in place and her green eyes filled with sympathy. 

“I’m alright, Commander, don’t worry.” Lena immediately replied, forcing a mask in place and swallowing down her sobs as she kept her tone neutral and dismissive.

The Commander finished her approach, leaving a respectful distance between herself and her monarch, but it was obvious in the twitch of her fingers that she wanted to offer comfort and support. Offer some kindness that she would be allowed to offer anyone else freely but couldn’t provide to Lena without clear and obvious permission. Permission both of them knew Lena would never provide in a place as open as the stables.

“Of course, your majesty.” Commander Lane murmured, bowing her head respectfully even though she knew it was a lie. 

Lena took a deep breath, pushing down the swirl of emotions, and straightened up fully. She gave Loki one more affectionate pat and quick kiss to his bowed head before stepping back and shifting into a more Queen-like posture: straight back, raised chin, hands in front of her, fingers interlocked and eyes assessing. 

Commander Lane’s frown twisted into tight, pursed lips. “Do you wish to revise the security access list?”

Lena arched an eyebrow at the question, though she was unsurprised by it.

The security access list kept track of various people’s permissions and access rights to various elements of the royal household. If you weren’t on the list you had access to nothing. Cleaning staff at the Palace would have access to certain rooms and wings for their work, the royal staffers had access to the offices, soldiers had access to the guard rooms and armoury at the back of the Palace. There were some, however, on an even more special list. People who had access to  _ her _ . 

High ranking ministers, influential nobles and well-trusted allies were to be granted an audience with no longer than an day’s delay as soon as requested.

The prime minister would only ever have to wait an hour max.

Jess, her secretary, was trusted with calling Lena at any time of the day for anything that she felt the Queen needed to be involved in.

Only four people had unfettered access to the Queen, meaning they could stop by whenever they wanted and the guards set to watch over her majesty wouldn’t step in and deny them access.

Those four people were: Commander Lane, Sam, Ruby and… Kara.

Commander Lane upon seeing her majesty, who she had never before seen to shed a tear, wanted to fix things, wanted to make sure it never happened again. She knew Kara had been in the stables not long ago, she knew everything that went on when it came to the comings and goings of the Queen, she was the one that approved Lena’s request for Kara to have access to the Queen at all times. 

She was now subtly and kindly offering to remove Kara’s access, making it so Lena wasn’t faced with the burden of  _ asking _ .

All Lena would have to do is nod and Commander Lane would understand with an easiness that only came with being someone’s hidden, yet ever present shadow for years.

It was the last thing Lena wanted to do. 

She had just denied herself a piece of Kara she never thought herself worthy enough to have and it had taken nearly all of her resolve to do so. She wasn’t strong enough to give up whatever part of Kara she could still be allowed to see. 

“That won’t be necessary, Commander Lane.” Lena finally announced after only a slight hesitation. “I believe I have a meeting to attend to, and it would appear that I need to change into more appropriate attire.” Lena gestured down to her muddied clothes, but both women knew that she really needed time to cover up her puffy eyes and clean the tear tracks marking her cheeks. “Please excuse me.”

“May I accompany you, your majesty?” It was a gentle inquiry, and it was obvious that Lucy was wanting to be her friend not her Commander. 

“Of course,” Lena stilled the Lucy on the tip of her tongue and course corrected, “Commander Lane.”

Lucy’s face brightened and fell in equal measure at the agreement and the reminder that they were to maintain their roles. The two women fell into step with one another, their usual cutting banter absent for once, both merely reflecting on events in the calm silence they were sharing. 

One of the main benefits of walking with her head of security was that all the other guards gave Lena a wide berth (unless told otherwise by their Commander), knowing that their Queen was well-protected and that the two of them could be discussing confidential matters. Lena was granted a higher degree of privacy when she was in Lucy’s company and with the obvious signs of her distress, Lucy’s offer of company was another tactful way to provide support.

Lena didn’t need to look to know that Lucy was constantly shooting her sideways glances to check she was okay, she flashed Lucy a quick, sad smile that probably did very little to reassure the soldier. By the time they neared the door which transitioned the Palace corridors into the private royal apartments, Lena could tell that Lucy was gearing up for a serious conversation once they were sealed away from prying ears.

Lena’s head was aching from crying and she felt grimy and unclean, but she knew better than to runaway and close the door in Lucy’s face. With a resigned acceptance to her fate, Lena pushed open the door to one of the many meticulously designed reception rooms that took up space in the East wing of the Palace put aside for the Queen to receive guests in. She gestured for Lucy to follow her inside with a beckoning wave of her hand, and Lucy considerately closed the door behind them. 

Lena wandered further into the room, keeping her back to her old friend in order to maintain control of her composure, as she pretended to examine her surroundings. It was one of the lesser used reception rooms by the Queen, everything was cream with purple highlights inverting the royal family’s colours. There were two stately (and remarkably uncomfortable sofas in the room that were facing each other. A low height wooden table with intricate designs of griffins and woodland creatures made in a century were the craftsman of the age hadn’t quite worked out that less was more, sat primly between the two settees. The room was designed to appear comfortable whilst really being intimidating. Lena only used it when she had enemies or those she didn’t trust visiting, and she realised with a pleasant jolt that she hadn’t had the need to use it for quite some time. 

Lena’s momentary pleasant reverie was broken by Lucy clearing her throat, “Your majesty-”

“I assume the events from earlier will stay between us?” Lena interrupted quickly, as she moved to a nearby painting that she could pretend to admire.

“Of course.” Lucy immediately replied, a surprised yet guilty tone to her voice. Lena knew Lucy well enough to know she would have sought out Sam as soon as possible if not told explicitly to remain quiet. “Though, I think you should consider talking to your chief of staff…” Lucy suggested not even attempting to be tactful. 

Lena always liked that about Lucy. That when necessary Lucy would be blunt with her. Would always give her honest opinion without being prompted to do so. 

“I’ll consider it.” Lena conceded, shifting round to face the other woman.

“Or…”, Lucy said hesitantly, her expression soft and sincere, “You can talk to me. If you want to… your majesty.”

Lena’s lips lifted up in the first genuine smile since Kara had walked out the door of the stables, “I know. And you’ll have no idea how grateful I am for that.”

“I have some idea, your majesty.” Lucy remarked with a light shrug, but her eyes glowed gratefully as shadows of dark times when she had leaned on Lena, flitted across her face. 

Lucy made her exit with a respectful bow and sharp turn on her heel, leaving Lena free to walk down the corridors of her home alone. Her bedroom, which was on the very corner of the first floor of the Palace had large windows. One side overlooked the emerald forest, the other a portion of the cultivated garden and flowers, if you squinted and the wind blew the trees the right way, Lena even had a good view of the stables. 

Lena had renovated a large portion of the Palace upon moving back in following the death of her brother. The royal accommodation used to be housed in the West Wing but Lena couldn’t bear to live in the same rooms that her family had occupied… that her brother had occupied. Hence the shift to the East Wing, and the hasty redecoration of the West Wing for the journalists’ visit. Lena’s bedroom used to be the chief of staff’s impressive office, but because Lena didn’t require as much space for herself to live in and a smaller staff with the shift to the democracy, Lena took some of the rooms that once belonged to the large royal offices for her private space. 

The imperial purple that had once lined the walls of the previous chief of staff’s office disappeared to be replaced with light blue walls and cream curtains with beige accents. An odd photo here or there was the only part of the room that suggested it wasn’t a showroom for display.  

Lena quickly showered in the ensuite and changed into respectable business attire. Part of her desperately wanted to crawl under her quilt and curl up into a ball, letting the day pass her by whilst she wallowed in her own personal grief. 

Duty called, however. 

Duty always called.

Lena returned to work for the rest of the day, her expression hardset and her tone hollow whenever someone spoke to her. Her concentration was at an all-time low, her mind occupied fully by Kara and everything that had transpired between them. Jess had to start moving her work around, recognising some important tasks would have to wait until Lena was actually able to give them her full attention. 

By the time Ruby arrived for their evening together, Lena was going so badly through the motions of her work, Jess had taken to checking her letters and reports for mistakes, and sending them back with highlights and corrections like a kind, yet slightly disappointed teacher. Ruby’s presence gave Lena the much needed excuse to throw in the towel and walk away from her desk for the rest of the night; even the usual stoic, and blank-faced Jess mouthed a grateful thank you to the young girl causing Ruby’s brow to furrow in confusion.

As soon as Ruby walked through the door Lena shoved all her personal emotions as far down as she possibly could, plastered on a smile and promised herself that she would give Ruby all her attention. The two journeyed down to Lena’s personal, tucked away kitchen, where Lena set to cooking them some dinner whilst she asked Ruby about school and how she was doing. 

Ruby revealed that she had fallen out with a friend during a group project. Ruby wanted to get a good grade whilst her friend wanted to coast leaving Ruby to pick up the majority of the workload. Lena prompted Ruby gently with questions to give the full picture and help the young girl work through her emotions. Lena was more appreciative of the distraction Ruby’s school drama provided than she cared to admit, but even without that added bonus, it was simply nice to be there for Ruby when she needed her. 

Lena quickly helped Ruby realise that, whilst she was annoyed about having more work to do, she was more disappointed in her friend in failing to support her. She provided advice and guidance based on her own experiences in similar situations (she didn’t tell Ruby that those experiences came from the war and interacting with less than motivated ‘allies’). Ruby perked up as she formed a plan to talk to her friend in the morning. 

“Feel better, little one?” Lena asked softly, stroking Ruby’s head affectionately as she picked up their now empty plates and moved to put them in the sink for washing up.

“Much. Thank you.” Ruby replied sincerely, swinging her legs back and forth on the stool Kara usually sat on in the evenings. The frown that had been on Ruby’s face when she had first arrived had finally softened, but the worried creases on her forehead, instead of easing like Lena had expected them to do, deepened further as she now freely scrutinised Lena’s profile.

“No thanks necessary.” Lena assured, widening her smile as she clapped her hands together enthusiastically. “So… what do you want to do for the rest of tonight?” She inquired, pacing up and down the open space in the kitchen available to her, as she listed various options, “We can bake cookies or watch the next episode of that… teen drama show you like where… the… uh… kids… fight mythical monsters with other mythical monsters.”

Ruby squinted at her description, lifting a hand and moving it in a so-so manner as she murmured, “Close enough.”

“Or play a game…”, Lena continued, taking the poor review of what she thought was a more than adequate synopsis in her stride, “or… ooh, palace hide and seek. I love that game.” Lena cheered, before she saw how Ruby was looking at her. The wide, slightly unnatural smile on Lena’s face faltered upon seeing the pout and deeply concerned brown eyes being sent her way.

“Lena, are  _ you _ okay?” Ruby asked, her voice quiet and sympathetic.

Lena shook her head, surprised and fully taken aback by the question, before rounding the counter to wrap a comforting arm around the young girl, “Of course, I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Ruby leaned into her side hug automatically, but twisted her head round to maintain eye contact as she muttered far too knowingly, “You only make cookies when you’re sad.”

“Pfft…” Lena snorted dramatically in exasperation, “Your mother’s emotional cooking theory has no evidence to substantiate it.”

“Err…” Ruby coughed out, a mix of shyness and pride lacing her words as she confessed, “she actually made a pretty comprehensive spreadsheet tracking what you cooked with your mood. It’s incredibly accurate, even Lucy has a copy of it that she consults.”

Lena jolted with shock, leaning back to better examine Ruby’s face to see if she was joking, her hands on the young girl’s shoulders keeping her in place during the assessment, “You’re kidding me.”

“Nope.” Ruby popped the word, the pleased smirk that had crept onto her face losing its smugness as she added thoughtfully, “Mum doesn’t take your emotional welfare lightly, you’re her best friend.”

Lena’s surprised expression slid away at that final comment. She let out a deep sigh as she fell into the seat beside Ruby, “She’s mine too.” 

Ruby nodded her head, satisfied with Lena’s rapid and definitive response. A silence fell between the two of them, Lena rested her chin on her hand as she waited patiently for the inevitable questions that would come from the ever curious girl. Lena knew the questions would come by the way Ruby was ponderously biting her lip and tapping her fingers lightly on the countertop.  

“Is this about Kara?”

Lena’s eyes fell closed at the sharp flare of pain that radiated from her heart upon hearing Kara’s name. She slowly opened her eyes after taking a deep breath, and shot Ruby a sad, yet reassuring smile to ease the fear that had settled over Ruby that she had somehow crossed a line, “You know about that, huh?”

Ruby shrugged, “I pay attention. I overheard you and mum talking…” She dropped her gaze away from Lena’s to stare intently at the floor as she admitted hesitantly, “I also found the collection of her articles you have stashed in your office.” 

Lena blushed deeply and groaned embarrassedly at that, which at least had the positive effect of producing a light chuckle from Ruby who felt brave enough to resume eye contact. 

“Did you upset her again?”

The warm colour that had only a moment ago infused Lena’s cheeks with life, receded and vanished upon hearing that question. She lifted her head away from her supporting hand so that she could protectively wrap her arms around herself in a futile attempt to contain the flood of emotions threatening to break free from her chest.

“Figured that out too, huh?” Lena mumbled, arching an impressed eyebrow, “You’re going to be unstoppable when you’re older.”

“I know.” Ruby acknowledged with a cheeky grin that had the desired effect of calming the emotional storm in Lena enough for her to gather the strength required to be honest. 

“I…” Lena began, clearing her throat sharply when it cracked almost imperceptibly, refusing to let anymore tears fall, “upset her again… and myself.”

“Why?” Ruby prompted, her brown eyes heartbreakingly downcast and confused.

“She wanted something, I couldn’t give her.” Lena whispered honestly.

“Because  _ you  _ didn’t want to?” Ruby pressed, her finger finally stopping their incessant tapping as she waited for Lena’s answer.

“No, I did.” Lena stated causing Ruby’s mouth to instantly drop open in preparation to fire out questions, Lena however raised a hand in a gentle plea for Ruby to  hold off as she said simply, “Ruby… there are certain restrictions, as you know, that comes with being the Queen.”

“And that means, you can’t be with her?” Ruby almost yelled, her expression twisting darkly at the unfairness of it all.

“Not… long term…” Lena replied as tactfully as she could, “there’s no future there. Theonia isn’t ready for that.” 

“Because she’s not Theonian?” Ruby practically scoffed in disbelief, not wanting to believe her country could be small-minded enough to deny Lena a chance at happiness.

Lena had made a promise to always be honest with Ruby whenever she could. It was a promise they both knew Lena couldn’t always keep and hadn’t kept during the war. The promise for honesty was more related to herself than state secrets. It was moments like this, though, that caused Lena the biggest dilemmas, she was uncertain whether to maintain that promise of honesty or protect the fledgling innocence and hopefulness of Ruby’s that had managed to survive the war.

“The people just wouldn’t be ready for that.” Lena confirmed, deciding Ruby was old enough to hear the truth.

“You don’t know that!” Ruby argued loudly, “They would be okay if they knew she made you happy.”

“It doesn’t work like that.” Lena said simply, her tone neutral and almost emotionless.

“It should!” Ruby huffed, crossing her arms over her chest before deflating under Lena’s resigned gaze. “Okay, well, she’s still here…” Ruby started, changing tact and making Lena’s sorrow increase only tenfold as she saw the hope and desperation in her young friend’s face, “can’t you just be happy now? That’s what Mum kept telling me during the war. Be happy when you can, don’t-”

“-feel guilty about it and don’t let the what may happen ruin your happiness now.” Lena interjected wistfully, reaching forward to gently rub Ruby’s arm in a soothing manner, “I remember, she used to tell me the same thing. Still does.” Lena quirked a smile, the first one in a while, that disappeared before it had any chance of sticking around for longer than a heartbeat, “Ruby, the truth is, I… I don’t think I could survive being with Kara knowing that it would end because… I don’t think I’ll want it to.” Ruby tilted her head to the side, listening intently, “And that puts me in a very dangerous position. Theonia  _ has _ to come first at all times and I’m not sure I’d do that if I had to pick between it and Kara. And I would have to choose.”

Ruby swallowed thickly, whispering under her breath in understanding, “Head versus heart.”

“Head versus heart.” Lena repeated solemnly like a prayer.

Ruby shuffled to the edge of her seat, moving purposefully closer to Lena so that she could easily throw her arms around Lena’s shoulders, knowing Lena would accept her hug without hesitation. Lena pulled the young girl close planting a quick kiss on the top of her head before letting Ruby rest her chin on Lena’s shoulder.

“You shouldn’t have to choose.” Ruby mumbled despondently.

“Maybe one day, I won’t have to.” Lena replied, though, both of them could tell she wasn’t convinced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, the next chapter is called: An Interview with a Queen.  
> (Yes, it is time for the interview with CatCo...)
> 
> Also to those that replied to my post on tumblr about what they wanted to find out about regarding Theonia, I will work them into the story where I can... though there's definitely one of them that I'd already planned and won't come up until much later.
> 
> And just to cheer you all up and give you something to look forward... you are all going to love the two chapters that follow the interview... absolutely love them... (things escalate even more... ;) )


	18. An Interview with a Queen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... uh... this got a little bit darker than originally anticipated. 
> 
> TW: mention of child abuse near the end (comes a little bit after "I hate this painting", for those that are wary). It's just a passing thing by Lena but you've probably realised by now that I've made Lionel an arse in this. 
> 
> But lots of super sweet (yet heartbreaking) Kara and Lena moments to counterbalance hopefully!

“Your majesty.”

“Prime minister.” Lena greeted, returning the respectful bow sent her way with a nod of her head. J’onn smiled kindly at her as they both took their usual seats at the table in her office, the morning sun illuminating the space between them.

“Are you looking forward to having the palace back to yourself?” J’onn inquired, his brown eyes sparkling with fondness as Lena did her best to appear as put together and composed as she usually did. She was acutely aware of the dark rings under her eyes that had appeared due to the tormented lack of sleep she had suffered through last night. She also knew her smile seemed even less genuine than normal and the heaviness always present on her shoulders was extra burdensome today, her posture curving in on itself in response. 

“Ummm… err…” Lena stammered, unable to openly lie to the man that used to carry her on his shoulders when she was younger, “Actually, it’s been kind of nice… having a full house.” Lena admitted, keeping her gaze on the papers laid out in front of her causing her to miss the pained expression that flashed over J’onn’s features. After a moment’s pause to gather herself, Lena light-heartedly remarked, “I am looking forward to not having to do interviews about how ‘on point’ my royal attire is.”

J’onn frowned exaggeratedly (an effect which was only noticeable to those who knew the man rather well since frowning was his neutral state of being), “Odd, none of them asked me about my clothing preferences…”, he said thoughtfully, “Do I not dress well enough?”

Lena held back a chuckle as she struggled to maintain a serious tone, “You have impeccable fashion sense, prime minister.”

“Thank you, your majesty.” J’onn accepted the compliment; his lips twitching up into a pleased smirk before changing subject, “If it makes you feel any better, I think you’ll find your last interview a good one. It’s with CatCo, correct?”

The few seconds of levity vanished at even the mere indirect reference to Kara, leaving Lena’s heart racing. To hide her emotional reaction, Lena shifted slightly and began to closely scrutinise one of the documents laid out in front of her as she replied distractedly, “Err… yes, I believe so.”

“I had mine with their lead journalist yesterday, insightful young woman, kept me on my toes.” J’onn commented offhandedly as he finished readying his notebook for their meeting. 

“You liked her?” Lena gasped out before she could stop herself, pride and joy sweeping uncontrollably through her in the hope that Kara had made a good impression on the man sat next to her.

“Well, yes, I guess so.” J’onn responded with a start, taken aback by Lena’s somewhat enthusiastic question. “She’s definitely a credit to her profession and her nation.”

“Hmm…” Lena hummed, her mind beginning to race with the potential that came with J’onn’s answer. “Do you think…” Lena licked her lips nervously, “Theonian sentiment to the rest of the world has improved?”

J’onn pursed his lips at the question, his eyes widening slightly with surprise, “You see the same numbers as I do, your majesty.”

Lena ducked her head appeasingly and said quietly, “I’m not asking for a repeat of the statistics, I’m asking for your opinion.”

J’onn raised a curious eyebrow at that but he acquiesced without argument, “Then I would say…” The older man paused, pondering the correct words to use. “Undoubtedly, this journalist trip has made people far more open to the idea of joining the international community.”

A tightness that had been constricting Lena’s chest and heart to near breaking point, trying to hold back the flood of emotions since she pushed Kara away, eased an almost infinitesimal amount. It was enough although for Lena to breathe easier. Light, freeing hope replaced a tiny fraction of the heavy disappointment and loss she had been saddled with.

“How…” Lena began, stopping to clear her throat and hide her building excitement, “about the idea of accepting immigrants into our nation?”

“Umm…” J’onn’s brow wrinkled at the question but he didn’t push for a reason for asking, instead (as was his custom) he took a breath to think through his answer and structure his personal reasoning, “significantly improved. I didn’t think it would ever be possible to accept immigration, but now…”

“Now?” Lena prompted, hiding her hands under the table and interlocking them tightly in her lap to reduce the visible tremors that had started.

“I think it could happen within the next… ten to twenty years.” J’onn stated, a satisfied smile appearing on his face, proud of their achievement that something which was once thought impossible would now happen in their lifetimes.

Lena, however, felt like she had been suckerpunched in the stomach. Hope vanished leaving her cold and hollowed out inside save for the dark emotions begging to be unleashed. 

“Ten to twenty years.” Lena repeated softly, “Wow.”

“I know, incredible.” J’onn agreed readily, taking her quiet, blank expression and tone for a state of shock and awe. “You should be proud of the work you’ve done, your majesty.” He sincerely complimented, reaching out hesitantly to place a hand on her shoulder and give it an affectionate squeeze. “You’ve changed so much for the better.” 

Lena knew, any other day, she would have adored the proud, father-like commendation from J’onn and would have been over-the-moon with the physical affection, which was something she had been deprived of for the last year or so from the man. 

The only thought she could register, though, was that she hadn’t changed  _ enough  _ for the better. At least not enough for herself and Kara. 

It was in that hushed office, under J’onn’s gentle gaze and surrounded by documents written with the express purpose of helping her citizens that Lena realised, with a sickening feeling in her stomach, that this would be a failure she would never be able to forgive herself for.

The meeting with the prime minister ran longer than usual, but that was mostly down to the upcoming ramp up in policies being put forward once the journalists had departed. It would be a return to business as usual from next week onwards and that meant the uneasy political detente and truces J’onn and Lena had strived to put in place whilst they were under the watchful gaze of the international journalists would be over. 

Arguments, petty hatreds and revenge plots that had been on pause would fire up anew. 

Lena’s free time would be non-existent the second Kara’s plane took off, which Lena was secretly thankful for. No free time meant no time for her thoughts to wander, no time for her to yearn and pine. No time to wallow in the inevitable heartbreak.

Unfortunately, J’onn’s departure following their meeting left Lena without anything to occupy her mind allowing her thoughts to focus in on the upcoming interview with Kara that afternoon. Previously, it had been the interview Lena was most looking forward to. She couldn’t wait to see Kara in her element, matching wits and trying to outmanoeuvre each other. It would be like their kitchen meetups but Kara would be more willingly show off the intellect she usually kept hidden under bright, beaming smiles and childish joys. 

Now, however, Lena was dreading it.

Not because she didn’t trust Kara to be respectful or use their personal relationship against her following Lena’s rejection. That thought genuinely never even crossed her mind. Kara would never and could never do something like that. 

Lena was dreading the interview for two simple reasons. 

One, the sheer awkwardness of it all. This would be the first conversation that the two of them would get to have since their kiss in the stables and they would have to wear masks and play parts the entire time whilst they both wished desperately to be themselves without scrutiny from onlookers. 

Secondly, the fear of hurting Kara even more. Having to be distant and professional yet being able to see the pain in Kara’s blue eyes and not being able to do anything about it. It would be utter torture.

Knock. Knock.

Lena shook her head before calling out, “Enter.”

“Your majesty.” Jess greeted courteously with a bow upon pushing the door open. “Have you had a chance to review the questions for your interview yet, your majesty?” 

Len bit her lip guiltily as she glanced over at the paper pushed to the far side of her desk that she had been trying and failing to ignore all morning. 

The journalists before their interview with her were required to provide the questions or topics they intended to ask the Queen, who would in turn highlight any she would not answer (usually with a precise line cutting through it). There was nothing stopping the journalists from choosing to not adhere to her approved list except for the awareness that Lena would not give them anything substantive in her reply and would effortlessly pivot into a new topic with ease. The few that tried quickly figured out that Lena could hijack any interview without too much difficulty, swiftly destroying whatever they had been building up to. 

Despite having a certain level of control, Lena strived to keep the range of topics and questions open and unimpeded, making it clear follow up questions were more than welcome as long as they were actually relevant to what she was talking about. The only questions that Lena, honestly, point blank crossed out were anything to do with her family and previous relationship with her brother. Other than family, she would only ever highlight policy questions that she felt were more appropriate for ministers or members of parliament as her polite way of saying she would be firmly sitting on the fence if her opinion was asked for. 

Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on your opinion, a large portion of the international media had deemed her politically irrelevant, a number of the questions asked were culture based or about her personal interests and history. Only a few savvy reporters, who had picked up on how the people still looked to her for guidance, like Grace Mayweather, Ray Larkin and (of course) Kara Danvers pushed or tried to subtly sneak in far more in-depth questions regarding her position on certain matters. The interviews with Grace and Ray she had already had should have helped Lena to easily know which questions to accept and which to reject for Kara’s interview. It fast became obvious, as Lena stared dumbly down at the sheet of paper only seeing Kara’s soft blue eyes and her bright beaming expression instead of the questions themselves, that this wasn’t the case. 

The issue was Kara wasn’t any other reporter, and that made things… tricky. 

Lena didn’t want to be pretend when she was with Kara, she didn’t want to act disinterested or unconcerned especially after what had happened. She wanted to show Kara, that despite not being able to act on her feelings or be herself when they next meet, that Kara  _ mattered _ . That Lena honestly  _ cared  _ for her and that whatever signal Kara had picked up on that had made her far braver than Lena to act on her feelings was  _ real.  _ That Lena did feel the same way, despite the mixed signals she was sending out. 

“Yes… one moment, please.” Lena muttered, pulling the piece of paper over towards her. She gave the contents a cursory glance, having already memorised the words there. Her pen quickly moved over the paper underlining a few words and writing a couple of comments. Her pen froze indecisively over the final question on the page, her fingers twitching to cut the question in half and delete it like she had for everyone else. Instead, her pen retracted away and dropped to the side before she held the paper up and out to Jess, carefully avoiding her scrutinising inspection. “Here you go. Please get this to them.”

“At once, your majesty.” Jess replied making a quick departure, sensing Lena’s desire to be alone with her thoughts.

“Thank you, Jess.” Lena called out automatically as the door swung shut with a light ‘click’, leaving her to fully ponder if she had just made another huge mistake. 

Lena inevitably ended up skipping lunch, mostly as she was elbow deep in the proposed new health and safety working regulations that the government were hoping to bring in the near future, but also stopping for lunch might mean meeting up with Sam who would figure out something was wrong in matter of minutes. Her chief of staff would then proceed to not leave her alone until she spilled all her secrets. And their respective workloads did not have enough time for such a conversation, no matter what Sam might think. 

It was heavy limbed, and feeling utterly unprepared, that Lena got up and left for her interview. Two guards awaiting her outside the royal offices, one moving to take the lead whilst the other fell a few steps behind, led her through the corridors. The guards were wholly unnecessary but Lucy was insistent during the interview time block that the Queen was under guard due to the number of visitors currently at the Palace. Lena had considered arguing the point but Lucy had that steel glint in her eye that made Lena fall respectfully silent.

The door to the sitting room that was to be the place of her interview with CatCo was closed and a familiar figure was stood stoically to one side of the double doors. Lena’s nerves eased ever so slightly at the sight of Captain Dunn and his steady, unfaltering, light blue eyes.

“Captain Dunn.” Lena greeted quietly, indicating with a flick of her hand and nod of her head for her two guards to give her and the Captain some privacy.

“Your majesty.” Dunn murmured, bowing incredibly deeply when a mere dip of his head would suffice.

“Everything is going well, I hope?” Lena inquired, the question half about the Captain and his health and half about the team under his watch. Lena had been getting regular updates from the soldier at the end of everyday, she didn’t ask him for details or to reveal anything Kara wouldn’t feel uncomfortable sharing, she just wanted to get a general affirmation that everyone was cared for especially after finding out about the prank war CatCo denied being embroiled in. 

“In nearly every aspect, yes.” Dunn replied, his frown twisting downwards in a rare show of sadness.

“Nearly every?” Lena repeated, her heart shuddering unpleasantly in her chest as dread trickled down her spine, taking a sharp breath inwards before she asked softly, “What seems to be going awry?”

Dunn tilted his head to the side watching her reaction to his next words with an endless amount of sympathy, “Miss Danvers doesn’t quite seem herself, your majesty.” Lena bit sharply down on her lip to prevent the stuttering breath from escaping, her entire body turning jittery as if in a state of shock as she listened to her old friend’s answer. “She’s been more subdued and not as quick to laughter or smile.”

“Oh…” Lena whispered, the sting of tears re-appearing almost immediately, whilst her body thrummed with the desire to shove upon the door, rush to Kara and gather her up in her arms, promising to do everything she could to produce that wonderfully bright and big smile that could light up the world.

“Whatever is the cause appears to be contagious.” Dunn remarked leaning towards her ever so slightly, careful to place his weight on his good leg as he did so.

“Contagious?” Lena prompted, once she had pushed down the swirl of emotions.

“If I may be so blunt, your majesty…” The soldier requested causing Lena to look at him curiously.

The old soldier was always proper, never breaking his cool demeanour unless Lena specifically ordered it or broke through to get it. Lena nodded her head without hesitation, Dunn had more than earned the right to speak his mind after everything they’d been through together it was only his stringent respect for following military protocol that stopped him from doing so. 

“You appear to be suffering the same, if not worse.” He stated as bluntly as promised.

“Maybe it’s something in the water…”, Lena tried to joke with a half-hearted shrug.

“Maybe, your majesty.” The Captain accepted with an unimpressed eyebrow twitch causing Lena to deflate  noticeably, those light blue eyes had also been able to see through her just as well as she could see through him. “Though, I hope its effects aren’t too long lasting.”

“I hope so too.” She murmured despondently, casting a nervous glance at the door before forcing a livelier smile and reaching out to gently squeeze Dunn’s forearm in a small show of affection, “Give my regards to your daughter, Captain. I hope to see her again soon.”

“I’ll tell her you said so, thank you.” The Captain’s frown upticked into his almost there smile and he stood a bit taller at even the mere mention of his daughter, “And…” He began, pausing for moment to ensure he had Lena’s full attention, “it will all be alright, your majesty. I’m sure of it.”

Lena blinked rapidly in open shock at the positive outlook from the usually pessimistic or neutral man. The soldier had never, not once in all the time Lena had known him had ever made a such a broad statement that ‘everything would be alright’. And he definitely would never believe such a general statement let alone outwardly state that he was ‘sure of it.’ 

“That means a lot coming from you, Captain.” She admitted rather taken aback, unable to fathom where his certainty had come from before she had the chance to find out, however, he was already stepping back and moving to open the door to the sitting room for her.

She allowed herself one second.

One second to clench her hands into fists at her sides.

One second to allow herself to feel everything. The hurt, the loss, the joy, the swell of affection, the budding love… everything she felt for Kara. 

One second to be just Lena before she had to be the Queen. 

One second to be a normal girl, pining over (who was very likely) the love of her life, her biggest what if and greatest regret all rolled into one. 

It was  _ so  _ much…  _ too  _ much.

That’s why Lena only let it happen for a second, anymore than that and she would never be able to put on the crown ever again. After the second had passed, Lena resealed those emotions back behind their thick barricades, lifted her head high and stepped into the room.

The sitting room was one of the simpler ones, not filled with copious amounts of furniture or decorative pieces. The carpet was a light grey and the wallpaper was a darker shade, patterned with white leaves. Two sofas had been pushed aside, allowing two armchairs set up adjacently next to one another around a small round coffee table to take up the central space. Lena was pretty sure that her mother had probably overseen the decoration of this room, it was understated compared to her father’s more over-the-top decorative touch. 

The surroundings and memories of her mother quickly fell into the background as her breath caught in her throat upon seeing Kara after nearly twenty-four hours apart. The blonde was sat on one of the armchairs, bent forward to better examine the piece of paper balanced on one knee and the notebook balanced on the other. A lock of hair had escaped from the professional bun that her golden hair was put up in and was catching on her left eye, dividing her furrowed forehead into a third and two thirds. Her lips were moving as her eyes moved left to right, incanting whatever she was reading into an inaudible spell that Lena was desperate to hear. 

She was wearing the burgundy chinos Lena had gotten for her, and a white, collared shirt complete with dark blue cardigan. Lena had never seen her look so entrancing. Never seen anyone look so entrancing. She wanted to sweep forward and fall to her knees in front of her and…

Lena shook her head violently, pulling back her imagination before it broke down the walls she had literally just brought up. Her sudden movement must have been visible in Kara’s peripheral vision because the blonde’s head jerked upwards and Lena made eye contact with bright, piercing blue. Shadows almost as dark as the ones under Lena’s eyes were also apparent under Kara’s. No bright smile lit up Kara’s face upon seeing Lena, instead a deep crease settled between her brows and her lips pinched together as if to stop them from dropping down.

Kara swiftly got to her feet, her eyes flicking behind her to where, Lena finally noticed, James and Winn were already bowing respectfully towards her, having paused whatever conversation they were having at the back of the room. Lena gave them a kindly nod of her head as Kara dropped into an unbalanced curtesy. 

“Your majesty, it’s a pleasure to see you again.” Kara intoned meekly, her gaze locked on the floor. 

“And you, Miss Danvers.” Lena said in a low voice, her gut twisting torturously at what she had obviously inflicted on Kara. “Please take a seat.” She called out, allowing her words to carry over to James and Winn, who nodded their heads appreciatively before falling back into their seats to continue their own work. James fiddling with his camera, prepping to take photos of the interview. Winn typing away on a laptop but keeping a careful eye on Kara, presumably being aware of her off mood and wanting to look out for her. Lena was grateful Kara had such a good friend in her corner.

“Have you enjoyed your time in Theonia?” Lena inquired politely, as the two women stiffly took their seats, unused to not greeting each other with a hug or sitting within touching distance of one another.

“I- err…” Kara stuttered, fidgeting anxiously with her glasses with one hand and her pen with the other. 

Lena wanted to reach out and still the frantic movement. Wanted to lace her fingers with Kara’s, allowing her thumb to run soothingly over her knuckles. Lena was staring so intensely at Kara’s hand in an attempt to provide comfort through sheer willpower that she started suddenly when Kara loudly cleared her throat to get her attention. Lena blushed guiltily upon looking up to see Kara’s expression had softened and her blue eyes were glowing now with fondness. 

“I think it’s safe to say it’s been a trip of a lifetime. Your country is… magical.” Kara replied reverently and Lena knew without a doubt that Kara had figured what she had wanted to do.

“Thank you.” Lena said, always pleased when someone complimented her country especially when that someone was Kara. She straightened up in her seat and clasped her hands tightly in her lap to be certain she didn’t act on any desire to make physical contact with Kara that would inevitably come up during the interview.  “Umm… we should… uh… get started then... “, Lena suggested in-eloquently, prompting Kara’s shy smile to shift into an amused smirk.

“Yeah…” Kara breathed out with an almost imperceptible chuckle, a sound which soothed the harsh tempest inside Lena in an instant. 

Turns out just a flash of Lena beneath the Queen helped them settle. 

It relieved Lena to no end to know that despite whatever masks they wore or roles they played: Queen, chef, journalist… they would always be Lena and Kara underneath it all. 

Kara smoothed the piece of paper on her leg, gave Lena a wink unseen by her fellow CatCo reporters before she started their interview.

The questions started out general and innocuous. Questions that were the bread and butter for media outlets like LYNX but were merely the opening act for a journalist of Kara’s caliber. They helped the two of them find a rhythm consisting of sharp one line quotes from Lena followed by insightful follow-up questions from Kara. Whilst Lena fielded questions like a pro, James slowly approached, checking with a light shake of his camera that he was okay to snap some pictures, Lena consented with an acknowledging smile and nod of her head.

It was once Lena was on the edge of feeling comfortable that Kara pivoted into the bigger topics without any warning. 

“What inspired you to bring about the change to Theonia’s isolationist policy?”

Kara was an enthusiastic listener, missing no detail and picking up on any hint that could lead to something new and revelatory. 

“What are you looking forward to sharing with the rest of the world about Theonia?”

She also had knack for drawing more out of her interviewee than any other journalist Lena had sat across from. With curious blue eyes, sharp eyebrow raises, vigorous nods of the head and soft ‘hmm’s, Kara always managed to encourage just a few more words from whoever she was speaking to.

“Do you have concerns regarding joining the UN?”

Lena, though, knew how to handle herself, had been trained for heavy scrutinisation and unforgiving questioning from a young age. Her mother had made sure of it. Lena knew not only how to sit comfortably on the fence, she could build one for herself when the most controversial of issues called for it. Her answers were succinct, neutral yet always thoughtful and would interest most readers but under close analysis wouldn’t give away anything noteworthy.  

“What was the main challenges you faced when moving Theonia from a monarchy to a democracy?”

What was interesting is that Kara probably knew all of  _ Lena’s  _ honest answers to these questions from their nighttime meet-ups but she never once tried to lead Lena towards sharing those thoughts. She only worked with what Lena was giving her in that interview slot. Kara was clumsy and at times socially awkward but in that moment Lena had never seen someone elegantly balance her professional integrity and loyalty so beautifully. It was incredible to watch and Lena couldn’t believe she would be the only one to ever know how skilled Kara truly was. Yes, Kara still pushed Lena to give honest answers, prompted for more details where Lena hinted at a bigger story but she didn’t use her prior knowledge in any way. 

The interview began to wind down near the end of their hour, and Lena began shifting in anticipation for the inevitable final question. 

The final question she had left un-scratched out for Kara.

Lena took a deep breath in preparation, promising that if Kara asked she would answer it.

Kara glanced down at the paper on her lap, Lena could see the question there at the bottom of the page waiting like a ticking time bomb. Kara let out a deep sigh, folded the piece of paper, tucked into her notebook and flicked it closed, obscuring it from sight. She lifted her head and gave Lena a nod as if to affirm ‘all done here’.

Lena’s mouth opened and closed in confusion, her eyes darting from Kara’s composed expression to the now tightly closed notebook, “Err… Do you have any further questions?” Lena asked dumbly.

“No, that’s it, your majesty.” Kara replied, tapping the notebook with her finger before lifting it and pulling it to her chest. Lena tracked the movement, still deeply confused until she looked up and saw the gentleness in Kara’s expression. 

_ Not like this, not here,  _ was what Kara was trying to say.

Kara didn’t want to hear the answer as a journalist but as her friend. 

Lena nodded in understanding, slowly getting to her feet in a dazed state at the same time as Kara. Lena glanced over her shoulder at the door and back to Kara, “Thank you very much, Miss Danvers. It was a pleasure.” 

“Thank you, your majesty.”

Lena held out a hand and Kara hesitated for a few seconds before accepting it, the warmth and comfort of Kara’s hand instantly making Lena want to surge forward and melt in Kara’s arms. Lena quickly checked that Winn and James were both focusing on their own tasks following the interview’s end before taking a risk and stepping closer as she dropped her voice to a mere whisper. 

“Kara, I-” Lena began pleadingly.

“Please, don’t.” Kara begged, her eyes slipping closed the second Lena moved into her space as if being this close to Lena and seeing Lena would be too much at once, “Can we just pretend it didn’t happen? Please?”

“I…”, Lena started, but her voice gave out, unable to deny Kara anything else, “if that’s what you want…”

“It’s not.” Kara replied sharply with total honesty, her eyelids opening to reveal vulnerable blue eyes behind a sheen of moisture. “But I would rather have something than nothing, you know?” Lena’s heart cracked and splintered painfully at the question. 

Kara deserved everything. 

Everything.

Lena just couldn’t be the one to give it to her.

“I know. I really do.” Lena murmured, swallowing thickly unable to stop herself from asking, “Will I see you later?”

“Of course.” Kara affirmed before stepping back and letting go of Lena’s hand.

Lena let out a sigh of relief at the answer, flashing Kara a grateful, fluttering smile before recomposing her professional expression. She called out her farewells and thank yous to the rest of the CatCo team, who both beamed at the sincere compliments she sent their way. With a final glance at Kara who hadn’t looked away from her once, she took her leave, scurrying back to the security of her office and the distraction that work provided.

Hours later, Lena was back in her kitchen dressed comfortably in white pyjamas patterned with green trees waiting for Kara to arrive. Lena had tried and failed to bury herself in work but Kara’s face kept popping up in her mind’s eye. Kara appearing in her thoughts was a regular, and usually welcome, occurrence. 

This time the image was wrong. 

It lacked Kara’s signature cheesy grin and her eyes didn’t twinkle like the sea reflecting the sun. 

It was how Kara had looked at Lena at the start of the interview, and Lena hated it, she especially hated that the image had burned itself forever into her memory. 

She was determined to overwrite the picture in whatever way she possibly could. She’d spent the rest of the afternoon thinking through various options and landed on only one that she could carry out on short notice that she figured Kara would appreciate.

“Hey…”

Lena was yanked out of her reverie by the barely audible greeting. She spun round in her seat to see Kara lingering awkwardly by the door, one hand (that Lena eyed warily) still resting on the door handle ready to escape at even a moment's notice.

“Hey…”, Lena breathed out, dragging her gaze away from Kara’s escape route and over to downcast blue eyes and a shy, hardly there smile. 

Lena shuffled to the edge of her seat, unsure whether to jump off it and move towards Kara or let her come to her. Her movement did not go unnoticed by Kara who seemed to relax somewhat upon seeing Lena’s eagerness for her presence, her hand dropping away from the door handle to her side.

“Umm…”, Kara started shyly, finally walking towards Lena with short, measured steps, “I brought you the next Harry-”

Lena’s gaze immediately sought out and found the book clutched in Kara’s other hand that had been by her side. Excitement burst through the raven haired woman as she joyfully sprang forward like a small child on christmas morning seeking out her presents, making exaggerated grabby hands for the book.

“Yes!” Lena yelled out as Kara handed over the paperback, mildly intimidated by the never before seen exuberance. Within seconds Lena was studying the blurb on the back of the well-loved and relatively tattered book, anticipation for the upcoming story growing with each word. 

“Someone’s excited.” Kara chuckled teasingly.

Lena promptly glanced up, her attention shifting to Kara upon hearing the genuine laugh that had her heart fluttering. Kara was smiling easily at her, and crinkles bordered her eyes. 

“You have no idea.” Lena responded, beaming back at the blonde, her words coming out a little too serious to be related solely to Kara’s comment.

“I have some idea…”, Kara nodded in understanding, her eyes scanning Lena’s expression for something for a long moment before she let whatever was building pass. She sighed heavily and threw her hands up in the air theatrically, “I had to wait a year between each one.”

“Okay, I’ll give you that.” Lena relented, hopping back into her seat and thumbing to the first page of the book, studiously avoiding Kara’s over-the-top glare. Lena struggled to keep the smug smile from forming upon hearing the dramatic huff from Kara at Lena’s lack of attention.

“So, are you now going to ignore me in favour of that book for the rest of the evening?” Kara questioned, flopping into the chair next to Lena whilst aiming her best puppy dog eyes and pout at Lena’s profile.

Lena adored this aspect of her friendship with Kara. The playfulness, the teasing, the mocking, it was an element that many of her friendships severely lacked. Yes she had witty, snarky conversations with Lucy and she could tease and share a joke with Sam but that had come after years together. And none of those interactions were ever so simply…  _ childish _ . 

Lena could be childish with Kara, and she loved that.

“Don’t tempt me.” Lena threatened, her lip twitching into a pleased smirk before she snapped the book shut and twisted round unable to resist Kara’s pout.

Kara rolled her eyes at Lena’s obvious glee, there was a beat of silence which any other night wouldn’t have felt awkward or uncomfortable but after yesterday… it felt heavy. At this moment in time, Lena would have taken Kara’s hand in hers whilst she leant forward into Kara’s space. Lena hadn’t done that tonight and it throw off their natural rhythm.

Kara cleared her throat, striving to disperse the awkward atmosphere by jumping ahead a couple of steps in their interactions, “So, what’s the plan for tonight? What am I learning to cook today? Roast chicken, salmon, pork chops, dauphine au potatoes...” Kara listed, trailing off as her eyes immediately began to glaze over. Lena could’ve sworn she saw the various food items flashing up in Kara’s imagination in front of her. 

“Hungry are we?” Lena asked once Kara returned to the present.

“I’m always hungry.” Kara shot back with a coy smile, her expression freezing after a fraction of a second as if remembering with a start that, after everything, the two of them probably shouldn’t flirt anymore.

“Uh… well… um… I was thinking that….” Lena blushed despite Kara’s wince following her own words, “Umm… I might cook for you instead…”, Lena stuttered out as Kara gave her a curious expression at the change of plan, “and then… if you’re… interested I want to give you a proper tour.” She revealed timidly, shrugging helplessly as she added, “Especially, considering that the last two attempts didn’t pan out so well.”

Kara didn’t reply straight away, instead she fiddled with her glasses as she considered Lena’s offer, an offer Lena knew sounded like a date. That hadn’t been Lena’s intent, but she couldn’t deny her offer to cook them dinner herself and then show Kara around definitely had a comparable set-up. She didn’t take back the offer regardless, instead leaning back and giving Kara a reassuring smile to remind her that she can say no and Lena wouldn’t be offended, she would understand.

“That sounds… great.” Kara eventually said with exaggerated cheer.

Lena was curious to know what was going through Kara’s mind and what had swayed her to go along with Lena’s suggestion, but she was no longer sure that she had any right to know, so she merely repeated, “Great.”, and clapped her hands before jumping up to get started on their dinner. 

Conversation over dinner was stilted at times, both trying to work out how they should act with one another now that the unspoken thing between them was now startlingly apparent yet stifled. It wasn’t until Lena didn’t know if she could touch Kara that she realised how often she really used to. 

Hugs had taken a while but had become common between them over the last week. Truthfully, Lena could manage that loss, it was the other things she was struggling with. Lena would often take Kara’s hand, squeeze her forearm or bump their elbows and hips together. Lena wasn’t a touchy-feely person by any stretch of the imagination, Kara just seemed to bring it out in her and now she had to physically restrain herself from giving into this newly activated innate instinct.

Thankfully, the dishing up of dinner helped get them back on track, their hands occupied by cutlery and food forcing them to rebuild their affinity for comfortable silence. By dessert (more of the strawberry cascades Kara had praised during their picnic on Sunday), Kara was back to rambling happily, giving Lena a detailed re-telling of her morning that Lena listened intently to, not wanting to miss out on a second of Kara’s company. 

The CatCo team had been shown around the science and technology department of the government by the science minister they had gotten along incredibly well with earlier that week. Kara gave in-depth descriptions of all the inventions she had seen and the plans that the minister was working on to encourage young people towards the STEM subjects. Lena was so pleased to see that the twinkle had returned to Kara’s eyes, that she didn’t have the heart to tell Kara that not only was she working with the minister to help implement his plans but she had also advised on some of the technical aspects of the inventions that had caught Kara’s interest.

Once all the food was finished (Kara personally ensuring there wasn’t even a crumb left), Lena insisted on abandoning the washing up for later, partly because she wanted to get started on the tour and partly because she didn’t think either of them could handle their dish washing routine that involved them pressed shoulder to shoulder against one another.

“This way.” Lena said pointing to the door that led up to the royal apartments and offices, as opposed to the door Kara always came into the kitchen through.

Kara’s brow furrowed in confusion as she glanced between the two doors before tilting her head at Lena, “I know my sense of direction is pretty poor, but I am nearly eighty-five percent certain the Hall of Remembrance is that way.”

“You mean the History-lite tour?” Lena smirked, walking backwards away from Kara and to the indicated exit, “There’s much better where that came from this way, trust me?” Lena asked without forethought as she pushed the door open with one hand and gestured through the dark doorway with a wave of her free hand. “Shi-, I uh…”, Lena blanched, the thoughtless question replaying loudly on repeat in her head.

“Yes, I trust you.” Kara cut in, pulling Lena out of her rapid mental nosedive as she strode across the room and through the doorway without hesitation.

“Okay, then…”, Lena breathed out in relief before stepping out of the kitchen herself and closing the door.

“This is incredible!”

And there it was... the grin that could illuminate even the darkest of places.

Lena had been unable to take her eyes off Kara from the second she had shown the blonde the first portrait. The blonde had come to life in front of Theonia’s long-dead previous rulers and Lena proceeded to go above and beyond in sharing her knowledge of her ancestors, wanting to extend Kara’s delight for as long as possible. 

“I mean Queen Cassandra did revolutionise the education system, but her chosen portrait does leave a lot to be desired.” Lena commented, not even bothering to look at the rather stern woman dressed all in black against a dull grey back-drop in the portrait on the wall.

“Snob.” Kara snorted, shaking her head in amusement as she continued to take the painting in with a sense of wonderment.

“You were thinking it.” 

“Prove it.” Kara dared flashing Lena a cheeky smirk before she skipped down the corridor to the next image. “Who’s this?”

“King Augustus and Queen Penelope.” Lena revealed, still not needing to look at the wall which was something Kara picked up on and saw as a challenge.

“And this one.” Kara requested, keen to see if Lena knew the near hundred portraits they had inspected so far as well as she appeared to.

“My grandfather King Benedict.” Lena replied, amused by the game she would undoubtedly win.

Kara sprung back determinedly to bring herself in line with the next painting, “And this-...”, Kara stopped speaking the second she turned and saw what was actually depicted in the painting, “Oh… is this…?”

“Yeah… family portrait.” Lena said, trying hard to keep her tone neutral but obviously failing if Kara’s sudden soft expression and sympathetic gaze was any indication.

“Lena, I…”

“I hate this painting.” Lena confessed, her statement far more brutal and cutting than Kara had inevitably anticipated. The loathing dripping from those four words made Kara visibly flinch and Lena almost regretted saying it. The stirrings of regret, though, were soothed away by Kara’s touch. The blonde had flinched at the venom in Lena’s words whilst at the same time her hand had shot out to link with Lena’s in a bid to provide comfort. 

Something that had once been loose and homeless in Lena’s chest suddenly felt anchored and settled with the realisation that Kara wasn’t afraid of her darkness. 

Surprised by it, yes. 

But not afraid. 

“Why?” Kara prompted, sweetly coaxing out the truth if Lena wished to share it.

Lena sighed as she shifted her attention to the one portrait she always averted her gaze from when wandering the long corridors of the royal apartments. Lena was nine, dressed in a long purple gown that was a simpler version of her mother’s, who she was stood next to. Lex, thirteen at the time, was dressed in a stiff suit black suit complemented by a purple tie and kerchief, and was positioned to stand next to the king. Her father, dressed in black ceremonial military garb, was the only sitting in the portrait whilst his family were forced to stand and flank him. 

He had insisted that they all remained in position for the entire process, despite the artist repeatedly telling the king it wasn’t necessary. Lena had complained an hour in that her feet were hurting due to being forced to stand in heels (an unfamiliar experience for the young girl). Lionel had been quick to make sure she held her tongue for the remaining hours in one sharp movement. There was a reason the younger painted version of herself was angled to the side, hiding her bruised cheek and darkened eye.

“It’s the only image left with my father in it in this entire Palace.” Lena explained, her voice hollow and emotionless as she resisted the demons calling out to her from her past, “Lex destroyed every photo with him in.”

“He hated your father that much?”

“We both did.” Lena curtly summed up, dragging her gaze away from the picture and back to Kara, not even attempting to hide the hatred swirling inside her from Kara. “If he hadn’t destroyed them, I would have.” She declared, a small part of her hoping to see disgust on Kara’s face at her willingness to delete her father from her life. 

There was none. Kara looked at her exactly the same way she had before. 

With kindness, affection and understanding.

“I can’t bring myself to get rid of this one, though.” Lena remarked bitterly, “It’s the only picture I have left with all of us together. Dad always said I was too sentimental… never learnt to let go…”, Lena laughed darkly, trying to ignore the pleasant warmth of Kara’s hand enveloping her own.

“Lena… I understand… not for the exact same reasons but…”, Kara whispered tentatively.

“Kara, you don’t have to.” Lena promised, not wanting Kara to feel like she had to share her demons just because Lena had unloaded hers.

Kara squeezed Lena’s hand tightly as she gave her a determined nod, “I want to. I trust you and I want you to know.” 

Lena opened her mouth but no words presented themselves that seemed worthy of the definitive declaration Kara had just made. All that came out was a murmured yet totally sincere, “I’m here.”

Lena hoped it was enough to give Kara the same support her mere touch had given Lena. 

“My parents died when I was thirteen. House fire.” Kara repeated mechanically as if learnt by rote. 

Lena wondered how long it had taken Kara to find the two simple sentences which adequately informed strangers of the greatest loss of her life. Wondered how many times she had said those sentences. How many people had nodded and then continued on with their own lives, disinterested now they had the answer they were looking for and blind to the wound their questions reopened in the beautiful woman currently holding Lena’s hand.

Fears that Lena was like all those strangers and random acquaintances vanished when Kara continued to speak, her voice no longer mechanical but softer, uncertain like she was now talking about a topic she hadn’t adequately researched. 

Talking about something sacred. 

Lena listened rapturously, not allowing herself to interrupt until she was sure Kara had said what she wanted/needed to say, no matter how long the pauses between words were at times.

“My mum woke me up in the middle of the night and guided me out… the smoke was  _ so  _ thick and I could barely see…” Kara whispered, afraid to break the stillness they had created for themselves in the darkened hallway. “I didn’t even recognise it anymore. I would have gotten lost if it wasn’t for my mum. I didn’t even realise we had made it outside until I felt the damp grass beneath my feet.” 

Lena wanted to pull Kara into a hug, promise her that she would never let her feel lost ever again but she didn’t want to overwhelm her, instead she settled for covering their joined hands with her free one, hoping to surround at least a piece of Kara in warmth and affection. Kara smiled gratefully at the action, and Lena’s heart swelled with pride at being helpful in even such a small way. 

“Anyway,” Kara murmured after recomposing herself enough to continue, “she… my mum... ran back in to find my dad… Everything I ever loved was destroyed in one night. I have…” Kara shot a glance at the gloomy picture that had started it all, “only a handful of mementos that survived. Only one photo of them. It was on my bedside table and I grabbed it as I ran…” Kara bit her lip, and shook her head, causing locks of hair to cover her face, making her appear far younger than she was. “I didn’t really know why at the time… but I must have realised on some level that if I left it behind, I would lose it forever.”

“Kara, I am so sorry.” Lena whispered sincerely, wincing at her own words as soon as she said them, knowing that she hated when people apologised to her for her loss. Kara, however, gave her a watery smile, somehow understanding everything Lena truly wanted to say.

“It was their wedding photo.” Kara revealed as she stared down at their joined hands, “They look so happy in it… My Mum looks beautiful and I swear my Dad has the biggest smile you’d ever seen.”

“Sounds like you take after both of them.” Lena observed thoughtfully.

“Flatterer.” Kara laughed lightly, shuffling a couple of tiny steps closer to Lena.

“It’s not flattery, if it’s true.” Lena murmured seriously, raising the hand not fully interlocked with Kara’s to brush golden locks away from blue eyes that were now leaking tears.

“Thanks.” Kara muttered; Lena was unsure whether the thanks was for her words or her action, “It hurts to look like at it… but it’s all I have left of them.”

Lena cupped Kara’s damp cheek, her thumb stroking back and forth to clear some of the moisture, Kara leant into her touch, her eyes sliding shut and Lena took the opportunity to lean forward and press a lingering kiss to her forehead as she breathed out, “I think you’ve got more left of them than you think.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to Kara for her final day at the Palace in the next chapter!


	19. The Farewell Ball

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think you're all going to really like this chapter...

Kara, despite what her sporadic bouts of ditziness might lead you to believe, was actually a very organised human being. She was the type of person to keep her clothes ordered when on holiday to make packing at the end a simple and straightforward process. Therefore, packing everything up in her small room in the Palace should have taken her only twenty minutes or so but she managed to drag the task out to last a completely unnecessary two hours.

The reason it took so long was because nearly every item she packed away to take home with her reminded her in some of way of what she was leaving behind. 

The yellow dress she folded carefully and placed at the bottom of her suitcase would always be associated with Lena’s apology and her reconciling the Queen and the Chef into Lena.

The jeans she wore on the Sunday she spent with Lena still smelt like Loki and had minor mud stains from walking around the hidden lake.

The dark blue cardigan she wore when interviewing Lena had suffered some wear when her thumbs had fidgeted ceaselessly with the end of the sleeves to prevent giving into the desire to reach out and make contact. 

The blue pyjamas that would be the last items to be packed away would forever remind Kara of evenings learning to cook, dancing around the kitchen and basking in the warmth of Lena’s green eyes.

Kara slammed the suitcase lid shut, decisively zipped it up and tucked it away in the corner of the room; out of sight, out of mind. The last full day at the Palace for the journalists was a rather relaxed affair, the only event organised for them all to attend was a formal ball in the evening which marked the end of their visit. The Queen and prime minister would undoubtedly take the opportunity presented to make speeches about Theonia’s growing enthusiasm to become part of the wider world and their hope for future interactions. 

The morning, however, was theirs to do with as they please. Half of the journalists chose to venture out to revisit their favourite sights. The other half spent the morning finishing off any outstanding articles as much as possible, ensuring that they could have one or two days to recuperate after the trip, free from the shadow of work looming over them.

The CatCo team had fallen into the latter group. 

Their visit to see the science minister yesterday had given them a wealth of information and stories to write up. Kara had also taken the opportunity to lay in and reflect on everything Lena had told her yesterday. She may have said no to being with her romantically, but she was still being intimate with Kara in every capacity she could. Telling Kara truths that she was convinced Lena had never told anyone else. And Kara responded in kind, whispering about her parents. Describing them both in detail and sharing how they would all have water fights on hot summer weekends and challenged themselves to build bigger and bigger snowmen each year.

It was probably the deepest and most meaningful relationship she had ever been in… and she couldn't even call it a relationship.

Kara shook her head, clearing her mind before reaching for the dress hanging up on a hook on the back of the room’s door. It was the nicest dress she owned and she had been so careful when packing it up because of how much she liked it. Now, though, in the early evening light peeking through the minor gaps of the closed curtains, she found self-doubt creeping in. It wasn’t eye catching or the latest season and she had managed to get it in a clearance sale a couple of years ago when money was tight.

It was a baby pink colour with a prom-style skirt that poofs out. The bodice had some ruffles to catch the eye, but the overall style was rather simple. It was also strapless, which Alex had declared was its best feature since it showed off Kara’s shoulders and arms.

Kara ran her hands over the soft material once more before turning away to finish putting her hair up. She had just finished fixing the last bobby pin in place and was in the process of deciding how she wanted to do her make-up when she head a rap on her door followed by a tentative, “Hey, Kara?”

Recognising Winn’s voice, she got to her feet and opened the door, “Yeah, Winn?” She said before taking in the young man in front of her and immediately bursting out into laughter. Winn promptly pouted and crossed his arms in response, causing Kara to simply laugh harder. Once Kara had her amusement under control, she asked, “What did you  _ do _ ?”

Winn had somehow managed to use what appeared to be three different bow ties to create his own game of cat’s cradle around his neck. He ducked his head and mumbled, “I tried my best but knots are hard…”

Kara sighed in exasperation before tugging him inside her room, “Come here, let me do it.” Kara’s hands quickly got to work to untangle her friend from the mess he had made. Whilst she worked, she took the time to appreciate the well-pressed grey trousers and the crisp white shirt. “Looking smart.”, she complimented causing Winn to puff out his chest proudly.

“Thanks, not bad yourself.” He replied, his usual good humour and confidence reappearing in an instant.

“Thanks.” Kara rolled her eyes good naturedly; finally freeing Winn of his three bow tie extravaganza, she then held up the three options allowing Winn to pick his preferred choice. He unsurprisingly selected the grey tie embroidered with tiny white direwolves in homage to the Stark House from Game of Thrones.

“Can I ask you something?” Winn checked, and Kara instantly knew it wasn’t a joke or a trivial topic he wanted to ask about. He was watching her closely but trying not to appear too interested, which was always his tell.

“Sure.” Kara shrugged, settling the tie around Winn’s neck and getting the lengths right on either side.

“What comes next for you?”

Kara tilted her head to the side at the question in mild bewilderment, “Umm… I finish my make-up…”

“No… I mean career-wise.” Winn clarified, his eyes appearing genuinely curious intermingled with surprise at Kara’s still confused expression, “You must realise that you’re going to get your pick of assignments after this, right?”

“Yeah, right…”, Kara scoffed, shaking her head dismissively as she finished tying his bowtie and straightening it up.

“Really, Kara.” Winn settled his hands over Kara’s and encouraged her to give her full attention to what he was honestly saying, “I don’t think you realise how amazing you did.” Kara blushed, more pleased with her friend’s view of her work than the thousands upon thousands of readers on the internet. “Tell me you haven’t been receiving job offers already...”

“Maybe a few.” Kara conceded shyly after a moment’s hesitation. It was true that over the past two weeks at the Palace she had received at least five job offers from highly reputable news outlets (and plenty more from less reputable ones). None of them had captured her interest, however, CatCo had been the only news outlet to take the risk of hiring her straight out of University. CatCo had also stepped up to help her develop into the type of journalist she’d always dreamed of being and Cat had personally taken the time to become like a mentor to her. 

Kara was happy were she was. 

Yes, that could all change if she felt like she wasn’t doing what she loved anymore or felt undervalued, but that wasn’t the case so her loyalty stayed resolutely with CatCo.

“Cat will  _ have _ to give you the choice of your next assignments,” Winn continued, releasing Kara’s hands so that he could gesture freely with his own as he spoke, “though she’ll probably be keen for you to stick to the international front…” Kara pursed her lips and scrunched her brows at that and Winn must have noticed her reaction if the question that followed was any indication, “Is that something you would want?”

“I don’t know.” Kara murmured, her mind starting to feel heavy and clouded with the fast approaching future that she had been determinedly ignoring to enjoy the bubble she and Lena had created for themselves during their time together. 

“Well…”, Winn started, a teasing tone appearing in his voice, “I always thought you would be good for the science and technology section…”

“Oh yeah…”, Kara replied, raising an eyebrow, “Would that suggestion have anything to do with getting to spend time with one of my best friends?”

“Possibly.” Winn admitted, trying to look innocent, Kara immediately whacked his arm causing his mask to disintegrate as he winced. “Just…”, Winn sighed fondly, rubbing his bicep where Kara’s hand had made contact, “make sure you think about it… this is a chance for you to get what you always wanted. Whatever that is.”

Kara had to concentrate to keep her face from falling as an image of green eyes and dark hair filled her head. “Thanks, Winn.” Kara murmured appreciatively, moving forward to give her friend a tight hug.

“Anytime.” Winn promised easily. 

“Hey, are you two ready?” James called out, knocking on the open door as he did so. “I think only the Queen can get away with being late.”

“Sugar!” Kara yelped, trying to calculate how quickly she could finish getting ready as she sprinted over to her dresser and whipped out her foundation to get started, “Nearly… just give me… like fifteen minutes!” Kara proclaimed, trying to hold steady as she applied her make-up.

“She’ll be another half-an-hour.” James muttered under his breath to Winn, shaking his head in amusement.

“Uh huh…”, Winn hummed agreement before leaving Kara to finish panic dressing.

Kara only took twenty-five minutes, a personal best that earned her a round of applause from her dorky friends followed by a wave of compliments about how good she looked. James sported the classic black tuxedo that never went out of style especially when it was worn so well, Winn looked just as impressive in his smart grey suit and personalised bowtie. The CatCo men would definitely steal the show that night in Kara’s humble opinion, a thought she shared with the men in question producing goofy grins and pleased blushes.

The three of them headed out together towards the ballroom in the East Wing that was already bustling with formally attired guests and servers dressed up in black penguin outfits complete with lilac waistcoats. Heavy purple drapes accentuated impressively tall windows and the high ceiling’s central feature was a dazzling chandelier from which white ribbons were pinned to and stretched across to the top of the walls. A small orchestra was playing enchanting song after enchanting song, a polished dancefloor sat in front of them and incredibly graceful couples were already gliding in perfect time across it. 

“Wow.” All three reporters murmured in awe upon seeing the display before them.

Lena may not have seen any disney films but she sure as hell knew how to emulate one, Kara thought to herself as she slowly spun on the spot to take in the magic of everything. James and Winn instantly ran to grab glasses of champagne from a passing by server, Kara, however, wasn’t left on her own for too long. Three-quarters of the way through her rotation, Kara spotted Captain Dunn making his way easily through the crowd of people towards her. He was in a formal uniform: black jacket adorned with silver medals and a purple aiguillette, black trousers with a purple line running up either leg and spotless, shining black shoes.

“Miss Danvers, may I have a moment of your time?” Captain Dunn asked politely, greeting her with a nod of his head.

“Of course, Captain.” Kara assured, flashing him a large welcoming smile that Kara was convinced earned her a fleeting, almost impossible to notice or confirm, smile in return.

“I simply wanted to say it has been an honour accompanying you and the CatCo team for the past two weeks.” Captain Dunn relayed earnestly, his blue eyes glinting with hidden fondness. “Not only did you give me a chance to get out from behind my desk, you also made me excited to see what the rest of the world has to offer.”

Kara’s mouth dropped open slightly, touched unequivocally by the soldier’s sentiments, “Captain-”

The Captain didn’t pause though, obviously not finished with whatever he wanted to say, “I also wanted to say thank you for your…” The soldier cleared his throat and when he spoke again his voice was much quieter to ensure only Kara would hear, “other interactions. You brought joy to a dear friend who had been without it for a long time.” Kara’s breath stuttered at the remark whilst Dunn drew himself up to his full height and declared, “My only wish is that you could stay longer.”

“I… I…”, Kara stammered, totally unsure how to respond.

“Thank you, Miss Danvers, sincerely.” The Captain bowed his head respectfully before holding his hand out towards her. “And I truly hope we meet again someday.”

Kara exhaled deeply, straightening up to try and emulate the Captain’s posture and then reached out to shake his hand for what she assumed would be the final time, “And I you, Captain. I couldn't have asked for a better guard. You're a credit to your uniform.” 

The almost, but not quite there, smile flashed again and blue eyes glittered with pride at the compliment. With a final, firm handshake the Captain about-turned and disappeared in the throng of people, leaving Kara with an greater sense of loss with regards to her rapidly approaching departure.

James, was the first to reappear, and he had been kind enough to pick up a glass of champagne for Kara, Winn was across the hall having his own goodbye with their protector. Winn appeared to get rather emotional during the exchange, going so far as to dive forward for a hug which resulted in the soldier stiffening and awkwardly patting the shorter man on the back (James and Kara tried their best to stifle their giggles). 

“Wait… are those… potstickers?” James remarked incredulously.

“Huh… what?” Kara exclaimed, her head swiveling from left to right to catch sight of her favourite food.

“They're serving potstickers!” James yelled, grabbing Kara’s shoulders and positioning her so that she had an unimpeded view of a server carrying a silver platter overloaded with potstickers.

“Kara…” Winn, having appeared at their sides, gasped out in childlike amazement, “did you wish really hard on a shooting star?”

“Err…” Kara drooled, shrugging off James’ hands as her feet moved inextricably towards her stomach’s greatest desire, “I'm going to steal an entire tray for myself. I'll see you both later.” She called out the last part over her shoulder, her potsticker-seeking tendencies resulting in her speeding halfway across the room in pursuit of the delicacy screaming out her name.

Two entire trays of potstickers and one totally horrified Palace servant later, Kara finally felt satisfied enough to begin interacting with the fellow guests. She ran into the science minister and spent a lengthy conversation with him talking about where future technology would go next (he was eventually dragged away by his husband who epitomised tall, dark and handsome). 

Kara was then approached by Grace Mayweather and Ray Larkin (who she found out were exes but still got along rather well). She immensely enjoyed speaking with both of them and wished she had her notebook with her to carefully write down all the wisdom they had to share with her. The highlight, however, came at the end of the conversation when they both gave her their phone-numbers and offered her mentoring and help if she ever needed it. The two legendary journalists left her for a particularly fast-paced music number that they said reminded them of their wedding.

Kara enjoyed the momentary solitude, sipping her drink whilst she scoped out the rest of the guests. She would claim she was looking for another newly made journalist friend to speak to but she was secretly searching for green eyes. Lena had arrived an hour so earlier (halfway through the first platter of potstickers) accompanied by the prime minister, both of whom had been kind enough to keep their speeches short and sweet, ending with sincere thank yous and farewells. 

Kara had caught glimpses of the Queen in passing throughout the night. She was easily the most eye-catching woman there (at least in Kara’s opinion) in a stunning purple gown with glittering diamond-esque sequins cascading down the bodice, her dark hair gathered up and pinned underneath a purple and white flower.

“May I have this dance?” A disgustingly smarmy voice requested at the same time as a clammy hand gripped her shoulder.

Kara groaned in frustration as she turned around, violently shrugging off Mike’s touch. “No. Not in a million years.”

“So vicious, Kar.” Mike whistled, easily hiding the fact Kara had flinched away from his touch by turning the movement into the act of straightening the bow tie of his inevitably designer tuxedo. “You'll never get a man if you talk like that and turn down every offer that comes along.” Mike advised, lifting his chin in an attempt to emulate an expert talking about his area of expertise.

“Mike, it's the last night,” Kara muttered, sick and tired of this uncomfortable game she had to play with a man who simply refused to acknowledge her disinterest and dislike, “can't you just leave me alone?”

“Now, Kar,” Mike tsked, reaching out to run his fingertips over Kara’s forearm as he leaned into her space with his signature charming leer, “where would be the fun in that?”

Kara’s jaw tightened and the grip on her champagne glass turned into a vise threatening to shatter the stem as she struggled to control her fury. A spew of expletives hung on the tip of her tongue and as Mike swayed just that little bit closer, she was ready to unleash them when-

“Miss Danvers, Mr Matthews, I hope you are both having a good time.” Lena’s curt, queenly tone had Mike springing back a foot in shock, as Kara breathed out a deep sigh of relief.

“Your majesty.” Kara said gratefully, giving a quick curtesy as she shot Lena her most thankful smile only to find Lena wasn’t paying her any attention. 

The Queen’s gaze was fixed solely on Mike, her polite, professional smile that would never reveal her one-cheeked dimple, was firmly in place, her green eyes were cold and she was as still as a predator lying in wait. Kara felt truly scared for Mike for a fraction of second, until he opened his mouth and any bit of sympathy was immediately eradicated. 

“Yes, your majesty.” Mike replied to the Queen’s question, recovering gracefully from his surprise by swooping into a magnificent bow that would make less-informed women weak in the knees. As Mike rose from his bow, there was a slyness to his expression that merely highlighted how greatly he underestimated the dark-haired woman stood in front of him. “In fact, Kar here had just agreed to dance with me.” He smirked, rounding on Kara with positive glee.

Sympathy fully evaporated, Kara couldn’t stop the squawk from escaping, “What?!”

‘“Is that so?” Lena remarked thoughtfully, ignoring Kara’s desperate attempts to convey how untrue this was, “That's such a shame.” Lena said with a sad shake of her head, “See…”, Lena smiled forlornly at Mike (Kara wanted to give her an Oscar on the spot), “I’d heard you were something of a wine connoisseur?” Her voice trilled higher, encouraging Mike to press a hand to his chest and nod like the title was a heavy burden that he had sacrificed greatly to earn. “I saw your delightful blindfolded wine tasting game…” 

“Oh that…”, Mike winced sharply at that revelation. One of his and LYNX’s most popular segments involved Mike giving celebs and members of the public an array of drinks, half of which were cheap wine and the other half vinegar, the goal was to guess which was which. 

“And upon hearing this,” Lena continued to explain, her polite smile taking on a shark-like quality as she turned a purposeful blind-eye to Mike’s growing discomfort, “my dear friend Franklin was beyond eager to give you a personal tour of the Palace, specifically the wine cellars. Well,” Lena paused to give out (what Kara knew to be a completely fake, breathy) laugh which momentarily lulled Mike into a false sense of security, “that's what those rooms are being converted into…” She leaned into Mike’s personal space, her hand wrapping tightly around Mike’s bicep as she whispered covertly, “we try not to call them dungeons since its a much more intimidating moniker, wouldn't you agree?”

Lena fluttered her eyelashes at the LYNX reporter who, for once, failed to come up with any response, “Uhh…”

“Eloquently put, Mr Matthews,” Lena let go of Mike suddenly, causing him to stumble unsteadily as Lena clapped her hands together excitedly, “this is definitely an opportunity you can't afford to miss out on. Lieutenant Franklin?” Lena called out, summoning a hulking figure, two feet taller than Kara who dropped a hand the size of a dinner plate on MIke’s shoulder to keep him from falling over, though the heavy weight had the side-effect of winding Mike considerably.

“Yes, your majesty.” The walking, talking hulk muttered out of the corner of his mouth as he bowed his head.

“This is Mr Matthews,” Lena introduced gleefully, pointing to Mike who was already cowering beneath the soldier’s dead-eyed stare, “he is beyond excited for your tour. Mr Matthews this is Lieutenant Franklin, though he has assured me that you can call him Frank.”

“Hi… Frank.” Mike managed to weakly muster out, gulping noticeably between the two words.

The soldier, now to be referred to as Frank, merely grunted in reply.

“Off you go then.” Lena waved her hand in farewell as Frank with a light shove directed Mike out of the ballroom. “Goodbye, Mr Matthews.”

Kara had watched the entire scene play out in utter awe, her smirk slowly growing to the largest grin possible. 

WIth Mike now no longer in sight, Lena finally turned to give Kara her full attention, her Queenly mask vanishing in an instant to be replaced with the soft, yet self-satisfied smile that was innately Lena after she had accomplished something she was rather proud of.

“Is his name really Franklin?” Kara couldn’t help but ask.

Lena pursed her lips to keep a genuine chuckle from escaping, “No, it's Thomson, but I don't like to do things halfway.”

Kara shook her head in amusement, enjoying being close to Lena for a couple of heartbeats, “You didn't have to do that.”

“Do what?” Lena inquired, playing innocent, “Facilitate a learning experience for one of my guests?”

“That's what we're calling it, huh?”

“Mmhmm…” Lena hummed, her eyes twinkling with a mischievousness that had goosebumps erupting down Kara’s arms as she imagined that look being sent her way in a completely different scenario. “Are you having a good night so far, requests to dance notwithstanding?”

“I am, actually.” Kara confirmed, reflecting on how everything had been like a fairytale so far. “The cuisine is top notch”, Kara flashed Lena a knowing glance that had the Queen ducking her head to hide an embarrassed blush, “and I have made friends with quite a few journalists… even a couple of whom are my personal heroes. But I must say,” she began ponderously, “my evening vastly improved a few minutes ago.”

“With Mr Matthews departure?” Lena guessed smugly.

Kara tilted her head to the side and murmured seriously, “With your arrival.”

Lena’s confidence vanished instantly (an effect Kara was rather proud to have caused) and her eyes widened with emotion, “Kara, I…”

“Yes?”

Lena swallowed thickly, shuffling slowly closer to Kara who accepted the closeness willingly as Lena whispered so only the two of them could hear, “I  _ really, really  _ want to ask you to dance.” Lena took a second to glance around, making sure no one was watching when she let her hand swing by her side to brush against Kara’s fingers as she muttered reverently, “You look absolutely radiant tonight.”

“I don't…” Kara denied, her face beginning to burn hotly, unable to cope with Lena’s direct compliment and closeness in public, “I don't really compare to the other women here…”

“No, you don't, you're right.” Lena agreed readily, and Kara felt disappointment mixed with acceptance swirling inside of her… Then Lena added in a declarative tone which brooked no argument, “You surpass them in every way imaginable.”

Kara’s heart raced exponentially, and tears gathered in her eyes as she was overwhelmed by everything she wanted and everything she couldn’t have. “You can't keep saying things like that to me.” Kara pleaded, “Not on the last night.”

Lena flinched backwards upon hearing the pain in Kara’s voice that she had put there, “Kara-”

Kara, though didn’t want to hear any more sweet whispered words that she knew no one else would ever say to her in such a loving manner. Her heart couldn’t stand it, so instead she demanded desperately, biting back the flood of tears, “Aren't you tired of always having to put your own happiness on pause? Are you really so afraid of the end and the sadness which comes with it, that you refuse to simply be happy now?” 

Lena’s mouth opened and closed listlessly, “I… I…”

Kara hung her head in disappointment upon realising Lena lacked the answers just as much as her.

“Your majesty.” Sam interrupted with a respectful bow, stepping between the two of them tactfully, “I think it would be prudent to interact with your other guests.” Sam revealed; Kara promptly glanced around to see a few people trying to watch them discreetly out of the corner of their eye. Lena, however, didn’t take her eyes off Kara for even a second despite Sam’s subtle warning. Letting out a frustrated sigh, Sam shifted slightly to intercept Lena’s eyeline, “People are starting to notice that your attention is very focused.”

Lena jolted at that and Sam’s pointed glare, rushing out a quick, “Of course, thank you, Sam.”

Accepting that her time with Lena at the ball was now over for the rest of the night, Kara dropped into an unsteady curtesy, “Goodbye, your majesty.” 

“I…”, Even with the awareness that any more attention would be detrimental, Lena still looked on the edge of trying to say more. Her green eyes were bursting with barely held back affection. To help her along, Kara gave her an encouraging nod which said ‘I understand’ without actually having to say it. “Goodbye, Miss Danvers.”

“I'll see you later.” Kara whispered out of the corner of her mouth as she passed Lena by with the intent of seeking out her friends for the rest of the night. She didn’t look back to see Lena’s reaction but she heard a sigh of relief which told her that her reassurance went a long way.

The rest of the night passed in a blur. Kara had the pleasure of speaking to M’gann M’orzz again, who complimented the article she produced out of their interview. Kara consumed another two trays of potstickers, making a Palace servant turn light green with visible nausea. She also got to dance with her two favourite men, though she had to admit her waltzing left a lot to be desired (Winn left the floor limping and James let out more than one wince of pain). 

It all started to die down around eleven; the journalists were acutely aware that they would be leaving the Palace at seven tomorrow morning to get their flight back. The CatCo team were one of the earliest groups to depart, mostly because Kara and James were forced to support a rather inebriated Winn who couldn’t put any weight on his left foot after his dance with Kara, back to their rooms. 

Kara swiftly got changed into her blue pyjamas and waited on the edge of her bed until she was sure her best friends were definitely settled in for the night before sneaking out for her last rendez-vous with the Queen. The ball was still winding down and she could still her a musical note from the orchestra every now and again as she made her way confidently through the twisting corridors.

Kara figured there was a good chance Lena was still at the ball, unsure how long the Queen would be expected to attend an event in her own home. Therefore, she was surprised upon opening the door to their kitchen to discover Lena already there, still in her glorious ballgown pacing nervously back and forth, her hands wringing frantically in front of her.

“Lena…”, Kara whispered softly not wanting to startle Lena when she was obviously on edge about something. Lena’s head snapped round to see Kara, her green eyes bright and shining as she absorbed the sight of Kara in her long blue pyjamas for what was to be the last time. Her hectic movements and pacing ceased at once, and Lena appeared to go rigid on the spot, her muscles taut and tight with restrained energy for a long second before she strode towards Kara with measured, decisive steps. 

Kara’s heart skipped a beat, reacting immediately to the fixated gaze Lena had upon her. 

Lena halted when she was a foot away, her hands lifting up gradually, so that Kara had all the time in the world to react, and cupped oh-so-delicately Kara’s face. Kara’s breath began to quicken, her hands reacting of their own accord and moving to grip Lena’s hips, the silk of her purple gown the softest fabric her hands had ever touched.  

Lena leaned forward incrementally, Kara’s eyes instantly slipping closed in anticipation. 

In the darkness, her nerve ends electrified and charged to full capacity, Kara felt the barely-there kiss placed on her lips. A wave of pure bliss ran down Kara’s body at the slight contact, absolutely craving more. Her wish was granted after a second’s pause, Kara presumed Lena needed that time to fully comprehend what she’d done, and Lena’s lips were back on Kara’s, soft and exploratory.

Kara experienced that soaring feeling she had felt when she had kissed Lena in the stables, this time though the kiss went on longer, switching between deep and desperate, and soft and tender. This time Kara reached the stratosphere, the whole world fell magically away, leaving Kara and Lena alone in their own bubble above the Earth. 

With a light suck on Kara’s lip, Lena pulled away to take in a shuddering breath, keeping their foreheads resting against each other. 

“What- what was that?” Kara eventually managed to murmur when she felt like her feet had returned to the ground. Kara cracked open her eyes to see a quirked smile dancing across Lena’s face that the blonde was desperate to trace with her lips.

“Me... choosing to be happy now.” Lena breathed out, her thumbs rubbing gently along Kara’s cheekbones, “Stay with me tonight…”

Kara swallowed thickly, lightly nodding her head up and down because, in all honesty, how could she say anything but yes to that request...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is one I've been looking forward to writing for ages!


	20. For One Night Only

They stayed pressed tightly together in the kitchen for another ten minutes or so, getting helplessly and irrevocably lost in each other’s lips. Kara’s heart was pounding harder than it ever had before, if she didn’t have the very cause of her heart’s erratic beating in her arms and kissing tortuously across her jaw and down her neck, she would have demanded to be rushed to the nearest hospital.

“Lena?” Kara panted out, her fingertips digging in to Lena’s hips as the dark haired woman seemed utterly dedicated to marking Kara’s neck and top of her collarbones with her lipstick.

“Yes?” Lena prompted before nipping at a spot that had Kara’s legs trembling and her eyelids slipping shut.

“Lena… can we… uh... possibly move to somewhere that wouldn’t cause bruises when my legs give out?” Kara managed to rush out in one breath as Lena concentrated her efforts on, what Kara hadn’t realised until then, was a particularly sensitive spot just below her jawline. 

Lena froze and slowly leaned back (Kara let out a disappointed whine as Lena removed her lips from her neck), raising an imperious eyebrow and flashing an enhanced version of her coy smirk, “Would this ‘somewhere’ have soft bedding and pillows?”

Kara’s face blazed with heat, and she must have turned an impressive shade of red as she gulped loudly, “I… er… didn’t… I mean… I wasn’t trying to… I…”, Kara stuttered out nonsensically, fear and excitement battling inside her for control, neither seizing the victory.

Lena’s flirty expression softened to her one of tender care and concern that always helped soothe Kara’s anxiety faster than anything else. “Kara,” Lena murmured, rising up onto tiptoes to place a kiss on Kara’s furrowed brow, removing the lines that had gathered there, “Nothing happens unless you want it to.” 

“But I… I want it too.” Kara admitted shyly, her fingers starting to tap a nervous rhythm on Lena’s sides.

“Okay…” Lena whispered, lifting her arms up to rest her biceps on Kara’s shoulders and cross her forearms behind Kara’s neck, pressing them fully against one another and preventing Kara from easily ducking her head to avoid Lena’s gaze. “How about we go upstairs?” Lena suggested, her voice dropping an octave and becoming gravelly, creating the most enticing tone Kara had ever heard. 

Kara was pretty sure if Lena asked her to commit a crime with that voice, she wouldn’t even hesitate to do it. 

It should definitely be certified as a weapon of mass destruction.

“Continue… what are we are doing down here…” Lena murmured seductively despite Kara nodding vigorously already, wanting to set the scene and reassure Kara about what could happen, “We can just spend time together… nothing else needs to happen. Let’s just see where the night takes us, okay?”

“Yes!” Kara enthusiastically agreed, the excitement building back up now assured Lena wouldn’t be disappointed if, for whatever reason, nothing else happened. “Let’s do that.”

“Alright, then.” Lena chuckled, clearly pleased before leaning forward to leave a lingering kiss on Kara’s lips. She then stepped back, intertwined her fingers with Kara’s and gently led her towards the door Kara had gone through only once before, for Lena’s personal history tour last night. Kara forced herself to keep her breathing even and steady as Lena led her up flights and flights of stairs. 

The corridors of Lena’s most personal space where noticeable for their lack of the colour purple. Light blue, cream and beige where the mainstay. Everything was light and free of the heavy colours and paintings that made up the rest of the Palace.

Kara tried to take in as much as she could of her surroundings, wanting to know every little thing she could about Lena before leaving, but the adrenaline surging through her mixed with the warm feeling that always came with having Lena’s hand in her own kept her attention fixed on the woman guiding her along. It was for this reason that Kara didn’t realise they had arrived in Lena’s bedroom for at least a couple of seconds. 

Kara glanced furtively around wanting to spend some time taking in Lena’s room, Lena immediately figured out what she wanted and, with a light shove and a roll of her eyes, encouraged Kara to have a look around. 

“Satisfy your curiosity, reporter.” Lena teased, pulling open a drawer to extract a familiar NCU sweater. “I’m feeling kind of overdressed, be back in a minute.” She promised, kissing Kara’s cheek quickly before ducking into the ensuite bathroom and closing the door.

Kara touched the place on her cheek that Lena had kissed, trying to make the sensation last longer. 

With a sigh, Kara carefully registered as many details as she could, locking them away in her mind to examine later. Lena’s bedroom wasn’t as ridiculously massive as Kara had expected it to be, assuming erroneously that the Queen would undoubtedly have a large room for herself. It was larger than Kara’s by a significant degree but it wasn’t overwhelmingly so; wardrobes, drawers, bookshelves and a corner sofa added enough clutter to make the place seem homely despite a disconcerting lack of personal items. There were a few pictures dotted here and there but other than that… there was nothing which really conveyed any personality. The bedroom could literally have been a display room photographed for one of those ‘Good Home’ magazines. 

The books on the shelves were about policies, laws, history and science. Not a single fiction book was there and none of those that were had creased spines, implying they weren’t read regularly. Probably used for reference more than anything. 

Saddened by the lack of personal touches, Kara moved on to inspect the photographs. There was a couple of Ruby and Sam pressed cheek to cheek blowing kisses at the camera. There was one of Lena with the Arias girls, Ruby (much younger than when Kara had seen her) was hugging Lena tightly, Lena in turn was beaming widely and Sam was rolling her eyes in amusement. Kara smiled at the picture, glad that Lena had a family to stick with her. 

The next picture frame, tucked away behind the ones of the Arias family to avoid close scrutiny, had to be of an incredibly young Lena. The young princess must have only been five or six, her hands were raised high in the air in pure joy and thrill, her cheeks ruddy and her grin unrestrained. She was sat proudly on a tall soldier’s shoulders, who was beaming just as wide as the young princess. Kara lifted the picture up and brought it close to inspect, feeling a flicker of recognition at the sight of the soldier. Printed in bold, yet barely visible, on the soldier’s casual military attire was J’ONZZ, simultaneously confirming Kara’s suspicion whilst also raising a multitude of questions. For the first time feeling like she was intruding on something private, Kara took care to put the picture back where she found it and moved on to the last image. 

This one was of an older woman, with red hair done up in a severe bun, her clothes were dark and conservative. You couldn’t call her expression particularly happy, but there was a noticeable softness to her frown if you knew where to look.

“My mother.”

Kara glanced over her shoulder to see Lena, face clean of make-up, hair down and her dress exchanged for her comfy sweater. She had decided to forego her baggy sweatpants for plaid, pyjama shorts that revealed creamy legs that Kara had to physically force herself from staring at. 

Kara acknowledged the piece of information but didn’t request anything more, not wanting tonight to be that heavy with their past if possible. 

They both selfishly wanted happy memories. 

Kara turned around, acting as a shield to Lena’s past and stepped forward determinedly trying to hold onto the bolt of courage that surged through her as she took Lena’s hands in her own and initiated a deep, searching kiss. 

Their tongues dipped and brushed tentatively together, as Kara gently encouraged Lena to step slowly backwards, her legs eventually colliding with the edge of the bed. Not wanting to lose the momentum and reassured by Lena’s sounds of pleasure, Kara gave Lena a nudge to sit down and moved to straddle her lap, not breaking their kiss for even a moment since falling into a perfectly coordinated rhythm.

Just as Kara was on the verge of dipping her fingers beneath Lena’s sweatshirt, Lena pulled back and shook her head, “Kara, wait a second.” 

Panic began to rise that she had done something wrong, overstepped a boundary or was about to be told that she was the worst kisser Lena had ever experienced. The hands she had currently situated on Lena’s sides, her fingertips just underneath the sweatshirt, made to retreat but Lena reacted quickly, placing her hands atop Kara’s to stop her. Kara shifted her weight uncomfortably, unsure what to do.

“Kara, stop worrying, you’ve done nothing wrong, I promise.” Lena soothed, easily interpreting Kara’s desire to fidget. Kara bit her bottom lip uncertainly but made eye contact with Lena to see green eyes glowing with affection and tenderness. “I just wanted to make sure you knew I meant what I said… nothing has to happen unless you want it to. Don’t do anything just because you think it’s what I want.”

“I wasn’t, I swear.” Kara replied immediately, realising that Lena was worried about what had caused her sudden change in confidence. “I just…” Kara swallowed thickly, glancing down to watch her thumbs trace circles along Lena’s sides. 

“Being near you, this close.”  Lena whispered, her breath warm on Kara’s skin as she trailed her nose teasingly against the blonde’s cheek. “This is more than enough. You make me happier than I ever thought I could be.”

Kara’s eyes began to sting with tears at the sincere declaration, wanting to repay it with her own honesty, “I… I… just want it to be good… that’s all… and I’m afraid that I don’t… that I won’t… I’ve never with…”

“Oh, Kara.” Lena murmured soothingly as understanding dawned, wrapping Kara up in a tight, all consuming hug. 

Kara hated being unprepared. 

Hated failing or letting someone down. 

And this… this was one thing she hadn’t prepared for. 

Lena was the first woman Kara had been interested in and she had been under the impression for most of these two weeks that nothing would ever happen, no matter what she or Lena secretly (or not-so-secretly) wanted. 

Now it was happening. 

And Kara… Kara had never felt so unprepared in her life. She’d be more prepared for an impromptu zombie apocalypse than this moment. 

“Kara, come back to me, please.” Lena requested with an amused tone, and Kara shook her head to stop her rapidly swirling thoughts.

“Sorry.” Kara muttered guiltily, uncertain herself whether she was apologising for her inexperience or her drifting mind.

“Why are you apologising? You’ve done nothing to warrant it.” Lena replied curiously, and Kara merely shrugged helplessly, snuggling further into Lena’s warm embrace. “Kara, you know that when it comes to this - me and you- we’re both going to be learning, right?” Kara lifted her head and looked at Lena curiously. “We’ll both like different things, like different ways of being touched...” Kara blushed at that, earning a pleased chuckle from Lena. “If these two weeks with you have taught me anything…” Lena pursed her lips thoughtfully as her green eyes roved Kara’s face taking in every detail, “it’s that getting to know someone, learn them, is half the fun. And I’m not afraid of getting it wrong,” Lena murmured with a carefree shrug and easy going smile that Kara only rarely got to see on the young Queen, “because I trust you.”

Lena said it as if it was the simplest thing in the world for her to say, though Kara knew just how untrue that was. 

Knew how Lena’s trust must have been broken and burnt by so many others. 

Knew how hard it was for Lena to share who she truly was.

Kara could only stare back at her, mouth slightly agape in awe of the privilege she had earnt by Lena saying she trusted her so earnestly.

“I trust you to be honest with me.” Lena continued, her hands moving down to Kara’s lower back and her fingers massaging the muscles there giving Kara a point of contact to concentrate on, “To give me guidance when I need it and laugh when it’s awkward.” Lena smiled softly up at Kara, “I trust you, Kara… and I…” She swallowed slowly, taking the time to pick her next words and Kara watched at Lena’s eyes darkened with want, “I want to know everything about you.” The gravelly voice was back and just as effective as it was before if the way Kara arched into Lena’s hands that were easing up the bottom of her pyjama shirt was any indication. “I want to know what makes your breath hitch.” Lena whispered into Kara’s ear, promptly producing the very effect on the blonde. “I want to know if you have any other spots that make you weak in the knees.” Lena brushed her lips against Kara’s earlobe causing a noticeable shudder all the way down her body. 

“I want that too.” Kara agreed before turning her head to initiate a searing kiss before carefully guiding Lena to lie back on the bed, gently settling her weight on top of her at the same time as the raven haired woman slipped her hands under Kara’s shirt to stroke her back muscles affectionately. “And I trust you.” Kara muttered sincerely between kisses, “I trust you, so, so much.” 

Kara could feel Lena’s lips stretching into a smile at her declaration causing their teeth to clatter against one another. Kara pulled back, both of them laughing joyfully at the misstep. It was whilst Kara was distracted that Lena grabbed the advantage and flipped Kara onto her back making her yelp in surprise.

Lena smirked proudly down at Kara as she settled comfortably on top, her fingers moving to fiddle suggestively with the top button of Kara’s shirt.

“Is this okay?” Lena checked, arching an eyebrow.

“Yes.” Kara breathed out with a single nod of her head.

Lena undid the buttons with steady hands, managing to keep her eyes locked on Kara’s the entire time. Kara’s breathing quickened as more and more of her skin became visible. Lena unhurriedly pushed the two sides of Kara’s shirt aside before taking a deep breath and breaking eye contact with Kara to fully appreciate the sight laid out before her.

Kara endeavoured not to squirm, feeling exposed and vulnerable in the best and worst ways possible.

“I was right.” Lena finally announced in a neutral tone, after what Kara thought was an eternity but was probably only a few seconds.

“Right about what?” Kara shakily asked, her hands gripping and un-gripping the incredibly soft duvet to release her pent up tension.

Lena leaned down and kissed, licked and sucked her way across Kara’s collarbones, leaving a trail of possessive marks in her wake. Finally satisfied with her work, and the way Kara was struggling to remember how to form a coherent sentence, Lena pressed a quick kiss to the corner of her mouth before whispering hotly in Kara’s ear, “That you’re incomparable.”

Kara merely groaned loudly in response.

Lena then resumed where she had left off, moving languidly down Kara’s sternum. She explored every inch of skin that she could with her lips, always being considerate enough to pause long enough to give Kara a chance to say no before moving to a new untouched area. She paid particular attention to Kara's abs and it didn't take long for Kara to figure out that the unconscious flex of her muscles, whenever Lena licked the indentures of her abs, was having quite the effect on the Queen. Kara's ego received a massive boast at that information and she took care to purposefully flex when she could, an effort Lena rewarded her for with a grateful nip below one of her breasts.  

Kara inhaled sharply when Lena’s fingers dipped under the elastic band of her pyjamas and green eyes looked up to lock with blue. Lena bent down to press a final kiss just below Kara’s navel, before incrementally pulling Kara’s last piece of clothing off and settling back down to continue her diligent ministrations.

“Lena… you don’t…”, Kara choked out as her muscles tensed and untensed with Lena’s affection, “um… have to do that...”

Lena froze, her lips pressed to Kara’s right hip following an inwards trajectory. She raised her head and blinked in mild surprise, “You don’t like it?” She asked her voice soft and inquisitive.

“Er… actually, I… er... don’t know…”, Kara swallowed thickly, feeling herself wince and her cheeks flush bright red. “No one has ever… umm… done that for me… before…”, she stuttered out fixing her gaze to the ceiling, awaiting Lena’s reaction.

Kara gasped as she felt Lena crawl up her body her face appearing into view suddenly, her green eyes dazzling Kara with their tenderness. Lena brushed her fingers lovingly through Kara’s hair, brushing locks off her face and tucking them behind her ear.

“I want to…” Lena declared sincerely, “But only if you’re comfortable for me to…” She bent down and kissed Kara, not deeply, just teasingly enough that when she pulled back Kara tried to chased after her. “I think you’ll like it.” Lena murmured, with a far too knowing smirk as Kara blinked dumbly at her.

“Yeah?” 

“Mmhmm.” Lena hummed.

“Okay, then…”, Kara croaked, her heart starting to hammer as Lena bent down to quickly kiss her way back to where she left off.

Kara’s mind immediately began to run away with itself, overthinking her every movement, every involuntary muscle flex, if her heartbeat was too fast, too loud, if-

“Just relax, Kara.” Lena ordered, her hand reaching up to stoke Kara’s cheek soothingly before poking her forehead with a forefinger, making Kara blink rapidly in surprise. “And stay with me for this.” Lena chuckled, and Kara felt her entire body de-tense at the reminder that Lena knew her. 

Knew when she was uncomfortable. 

Knew when she was spiralling inside her own head. 

Knew how to bring her back to reality with a gentle request and a guiding touch.

“I can do that.” Kara replied, one hand reaching out to grip Lena’s proffered hand, squeezing it tightly before letting herself be fully with Lena in every way possible.

Kara opened her eyes sluggishly, unsure how long they had been shut for, having lost consciousness in a flash sometime after the second (or was it third?) orgasm. She felt warm and cared for, quickly realising that Lena was holding her and raining sweet kisses over her forehead and cheeks, 

“Mmm… that feels nice.” Kara murmured, breathing deeply before rolling over to bury her face into the crook of Lena’s neck and placing her hands on Lena’s hips encouraging her to lay flat on her back. She inhaled deeply, taking in the hint of lavender on Lena’s skin that she only rarely noticed when free of the smells of the kitchen that overpowered it. 

Kara leaned back beaming, her heart swelling with an unbridled happiness as she absorbed the sight of Lena beneath her, her dark hair spread across the pillows, her one-dimpled smile firmly in place as she too stared up at Kara with more affection than Kara had ever seen directed towards her. 

“Can I?” Kara requested, gesturing to Lena’s still covered torso feeling emboldened and daring.  

“Of course.” Lena assured, cocking her head to the side obviously enjoying Kara’s take charge attitude.

With hands free of any tremble, Kara aided Lena in sitting up, lifted the piece of clothing off and lowered Lena back to her previous position. Kara closed her eyes for a second to mentally prepare herself before sitting back on her knees to appreciate the view.

Creamy skin and endless curves ground Kara’s brain to a juddering halt, her jaw going slack and her fingers twitching with the desire to touch. Lena laughed gleefully at Kara’s gormless stare which did little to help Kara regain control of her faculties as Lena’s entire torso convulsed magnificently with the action. 

Kara’s concussion addled brain was right when they first met. She was in the presence of something truly divine. 

Wanting to continue her plans to commit every little detail to memory, Kara’s eyes swept over the landscape in front of her. Her gaze travelled along strong arms, protruding collarbones, well-rounded breasts, a soft ribcage-

Kara’s breath caught in her throat and her stomach plummeted when she saw it. 

The rounded, slightly off-colour scar in the centre of Lena’s chest, so close to where Kara knew Lena’s strong heart beat. Kara’s hands shaking with emotion traced the healed wound as tears gathered in her eyes. The remnants of Lena’s laughter vanished and her entire body went still at Kara’s touch. Kara glanced up to see Lena watching her, her expression painfully neutral and her eyes assessing.

Kara realised what she was doing immediately, she was preparing for Kara to recoil, she was afraid the tears in Kara’s eyes might be regret or discomfort.

“Lena, you are so beautiful.” Kara whispered reverently, her voice cracking with fervour, desperate to put an end to the doubts inevitably brewing behind a closed off expression.

Lena sighed with relief, her body returning to being loose and free as she brought her hand up to cover Kara’s still shaking one on her chest. “Kara, it’s okay.” Lena soothed. “It was a long time ago. I survived.”

“You were shot?” Kara murmured to herself in disbelief, her eyes fixed on their joined hands over the hidden mark. She was unable to reconcile that Lena,  _ her Lena, _ had been shot. 

That someone out there had been willing to kill her. 

Kill this incredible woman.

Kara felt sick to her stomach as the swarm of what ifs descended upon her. 

She didn’t want to imagine a world in which she hadn’t held Lena in her arms for even a moment. It hurt far worse than anything she could bear.

“Yeah.” Lena confirmed despite knowing it to be a rhetorical question.

Kara straightened up as she repeated, enforcing the words into her mind so that they would be her first thought when Lena uncovered the old wound. “You survived. You survived.” Kara nodded her head firmly once she’d completed her mantra and met Lena’s green eyes, “Does it hurt?”

Lena pursed her lips and used her free hand to coax the frown and lines that had formed on Kara’s face away to soften the blow of her answer, “Sometimes…”

Kara’s jaw tightened and she knew her eyes were burning with a vengeful fire, “The person that did this-”

“Was dealt with appropriately and that’s all you need to know.” Lena cut in, her tone reassuring in contrast to words that would appear harsh. Lena tapped Kara’s forehead with a solitary finger like she had done earlier to draw Kara back to her. “I’m not ready to talk about it anymore than that.”

“I understand.” The anger drained out of her in a rush and she bowed forward to brush noses with Lena, their joined together hands trapped between them, “I just...” Kara swallowed, “I’m so grateful to have met you. To be here with you right now. I can’t even bear to think...”

“Me too.” 

With her hand pressed into the centre of Lena’s chest, she could feel the thrum of Lena’s heart, the life pumping through her veins. She drew Lena into an all-consuming kiss, pushing her gratitude for their time together into it, and immediately felt Lena’s heart rate begin to accelerate, Kara moved her hand to squeeze Lena’s bare hip and felt the drum in Lena’s chest thunder against her hand in response. Drunk off the effect she had on Lena, Kara made it her goal to draw every sign of life possible out of Lena before their time was up.

Whispered compliments in Lena’s ear were rewarded with pink cheeks and heat diffusing from head to toe.

Sucking a red mark on her neck resulted in nails digging deliciously into her back.

A tentative stoke of her fingers earned her a sharp, vibrant gasp.

A steady rhythm gave her a building tremble in Lena’s limbs.

A plea to let go produced a cry followed by loose limbs, free of all tension and stress.

Later in the night, or early in the morning depending on your viewpoint, Lena was sat up against the pillows, Kara was resting her cheek on Lena’s abdomen happily listening to Lena talk about her early experiences learning to ride and getting to know Loki. Kara’s fingers were moving up and down Lena’s bare legs, appreciating the silky smoothness as she traced random patterns out.

It was as her fingers dipped below Lena’s knee and lightly brushed the skin there that Lena’s body went rigid, she cut off what she was saying and let out an almighty snort.

Kara whipped her head up to stare at Lena, who was staring back wide-eyed with shock, “Did… did you just snort?” She stuttered out, a mischievous smile slowly growing on her face.

“What? No!” Lena denied, straightening up and shaking her leg to get it free from Kara’s hand. “A Queen isn’t capable of snorting. It’s unbecoming.” Lena haughtily said, raising her chin in the air to fully encapsulate the snobbish air she was putting on.

“Oh, really so if I did this-”, Kara began teasingly, grabbing Lena’s calf with one hand whilst her other slowly moved to the spot behind her knee.

Lena inhaled sharply,  jerking her leg free and into her chest, “Don’t you dare!”

Clapping her hands together gleefully, Kara slowly crawled towards the Queen who was squirming her way as far up the bed as she could get. “Oh my god, you’re really ticklish.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…” Lena rebuked, putting pillow after pillow between them to act as obstacles that Kara easily batted away to one side, “but if you know what’s good for you, you’ll keep your hands to yourself.”

Kara tilted her head to one side coyly, her confidence having skyrocketed over the last couple of hours, “See, I was under the impression that you really liked it when I  _ don’t  _ keep my hands to myself…”

Lena held up a single finger in warning, “Kara, no…”

“Kara, yes…”, Kara replied, nodding her head as she reached out to grip Lena’s ankles.

“I will not be held responsible for my actions!” Lena warned, already giggling loudly as soon as Kara pounced on her. Lena’s limbs thrashed wildly, as Kara attempted to keep up her relentless tickle attack. A swing of Lena’s right arm and jerk of her leg, though, resulted in Kara falling of the side of the bed and landing with a loud thud on the floor.

“Ooph… ow…”, Kara winced.

“I did try to warn you.” Lena called back utterly unsympathetic. 

Once Kara had sufficiently apologised, she was allowed back onto the bed and into Lena’s arms. They chatted aimlessly for a little while just enjoying the quiet between them more than anything else before Lena’s eyes alighted on a small scar on Kara’s hip and curiously asked how it came to be. Kara chuckled and told her she got it from a pretty exuberant water fight with her parents when she was six, in her excitement she had run into the garden fence. She didn’t even notice until hours later and her parents panicked pretty incredibly since it was the first time she required a trip to the hospital. She doesn’t remember any pain whatsoever, just laughing hard at her parents’ ridiculous antics.

Lena lit up at the answer and quickly took to finding other old scars that she could ask about.

“What about this one?” Lena questioned, running a thumb over a crescent moon scar on her knee.

“Learning to ride a bike for the first time. I was seven.” Kara explained, smiling softly when Lena shifted downwards to place a tender kiss to the scar.

“This one?” Lena pointed up to the small scar next to Kara’s eyebrow.

Kara coughed embarrassedly, “Ballet…”

“Ballet?” Lena repeated incredulously.

“Why are you surprised? My level of grace and poise can only be achieved through vigorous training and instruction.” Kara huffed out, crossing her arms sulkily.

“Uh huh…” Lena hummed, raising an eyebrow, “What really happened?”

Kara pouted, “Knocked myself out on the first day. Teacher told my mum that ballet probably wasn’t where my skills laid.”

Lena shook her head in amusement, before kissing the scar and the pout, “Oh, shame. I would have loved to see you in a tutu.”

“No one wants to see that.”

“I would.” Lena affirmed, her eyes glinting seductively as she took Kara’s left hand in hers and flipped it over to have the palm face-up, her finger running lightly over a barely visible scar that not many people ever noticed. 

But Lena had. 

Lena had noticed it immediately. “And this one?”

“Monopoly.” Kara murmured, giggling when Lena’s expression turned bewildered, “It’s this board game about buying property and trying to make the most money,”

Lena’s confusion didn’t abate, “How does a board game result in a scar?”

Kara nibbled her lip and glanced around the room nervously, “Alex and I have always been super competitive… she caught me cheating and... whilst she was accusing me, I found the stash of money she’d stolen… it descended from there.”

Lena cackled evilly, contrasting with her action of pulling Kara’s hand up to cup her face and brush her lips against the scar, “That’s adorable, I hope you both learnt your lesson. How old were you?”

“Ummm…”, Kara choked, still refusing to make eye contact, “that may or may not have happened last year…”

There was a long pause followed by an exasperated, “Oh, Kara…”

“Shut up.” Kara huffed, before pinning Lena to the bed and getting her to do exactly that.

After another round, they finally settled under the covers, Kara again resting her head on Lena’s chest that was rising and falling in a steadily deeper growing rhythm. 

“You’re falling asleep.” Kara whispered, nudging Lena’s side affectionately.

“No, I’m not…” Lena yawned, “I’m just resting my eyes…”

Kara lifted her head, and shot her a sympathetic look, “Lena you must be exhausted.” Lena had been working ridiculously long hours and all of her remaining free time over the last two weeks had been taken up by Kara.  

“I don’t want to fall asleep.” Lena replied sadly, her fingers combing through Kara’s hair, “I don’t want to miss a second of this... of you.”

Lena blinked rapidly to vanish a wet sheen to her eyes. Kara sighed, “Lena...”

“Read to me?” Lena requested, obviously not willing to acknowledge how close daybreak was and what that meant for them. 

“Sure.” Kara agreed willingly, accepting the Harry Potter novel on Lena’s bedside and opening it to where Lena had last left off.  

Her voice was rough to begin with, and stuttering in places as she found her rhythm. Eventually, though, she settled easily into the role of narrator, even going so far as to put on voices for the various characters much to Lena’s pleasure as indicated by the she would lightly scratch Kara’s scalp whenever she did particularly well. Kara was practically purring between words and Lena was hypnotised by the life Kara brought to what was already one of her favourite books. 

Kara managed two chapters before heavy yawns made it impossible to continue. Lena immediately tugged Kara into a warm embrace, and they wrapped themselves around each other, as light began to glow ominously, yet beautifully, through the drawn curtains.

“Lena… I’ve got to go soon.” Kara said, her throat feeling raw with the emotion she was trying to keep down. James and Winn would be getting up soon and they would notice if she wasn’t up and ready to go, she was always the first one on travel days. 

“A couple more minutes.” Lena begged, pressing a quick kiss to the underside of Kara’s jaw since she had nestled her head under Kara’s.

“You’re incorrigible.” Kara muttered fondly into Lena’s ear.

“That’s far too big of a word for this time of the morning.” Lena declared, squeezing Kara’s body closer to her own.

Kara laughed at the action, even as her lungs began to burn with the sobs she had to push down. “I wish we had longer.” Kara confessed.

“Me too.”

Kara breathed deeply; there was so much she wanted to say. 

So much more she wanted. 

So much more of Lena that she would never get to have. 

“Lena-”

“No, goodbyes, please.” Lena pleaded, her body trembling in Kara’s arms.

Kara closed her eyes to hold back the flood, “What would you have me say instead?”

Lena didn’t say anything for a long time, and at the point where Kara was convinced she would never get an answer she heard the barely audible entreaty, “Just hold me.”

Kara tightened her arms around Lena immeasurably, trying to fuse their bodies together forever so that she would never have to let her go. “There’s nothing else I would rather do.”

.

.

.

.

.

Lena stared at the wall, her face empty of all emotion and her chest merely a hollow cavern. She was laid on her side, on her now freshly made bed. The sheets changed so not even the vaguest smell of Kara remained. The Palace servants had carried out their daily duties whilst the Queen showered not aware that they had taken something else away from her. 

She hadn’t moved from her spot for the last hour... she had no will or energy to. 

The door to her bedroom opened almost silently, and Lena heard a familiar footstep approach the bed behind her.

“Is she gone?” Lena asked curtly, refusing to indulge or acknowledge what she saw to be weakness on her own part.

“Yes. I’m so sorry.” Sam answered sincerely, and Lena didn’t dare roll over to see the pity directed her way. 

She hated pity. 

Hated sympathy. 

Hated how much it hurt… 

How much losing one person she’d known for two weeks made it hard to breathe. Made it hard to think about anything else. She felt constantly winded. Felt like there was a void inside her that would never be filled. 

Felt like… like her heart had been broken. 

Shattered beyond repair.

“It’ll get better, right?” Lena demanded to know, wanting even the tiniest slither of hope that the pain she was currently experiencing would lessen even in the smallest way. “Tell me, it’ll get better.”

The bed dipped as Sam sat down and shuffled over to her, wrapping her arms around Lena in the same way she would when Ruby had a nightmare. “It’ll get better.” Sam promised as fervently as she could muster.

Lena didn’t believe her lie even for a second. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas...


	21. The Super Sister Support Service (Part II)

Alex set the two large pizza boxes down on the coffee table in Kara’s apartment. The tubs of ice cream were already stashed away in the freezer, waiting for the Danvers sisters to demolish them later. Once she was finally satisfied with her work, Alex flopped down onto her sister’s sofa and lined up the most recent episode of one of the numerous shows they watched together on Netflix in preparation for their long overdue Sister's Night.

Alex had wanted to pick her sister up from the airport herself but Kara had convinced her a week or so before she left that, since she had so many connections (the pool of journalists were flown private from Theonia to London but they all had to make their own way back from London), there was a good chance she would arrive back much later than intended and she didn’t want Alex to waste a day waiting around for her. Kara would happily split a taxi with Winn if it meant that Alex had the pizza ready and waiting for her when she got back. Alex had agreed, with the condition that they both take the Monday off to spend the day together as well. 

Alex had missed her sister desperately over the past two weeks; she was so used to being able to reach out to Kara whenever she needed that she experienced extreme whiplash when she went to text her and had to forcibly remind herself that Kara wouldn’t respond. Erratic skype calls didn’t quite cut it, not when it was clear both of them were going through something... 

Alex was dealing with the reappearance of her ex whilst laying an old case which had haunted her for the last couple of years to rest. 

And Kara? 

Alex knew that this ‘Hot Chef’ was a far bigger deal than Kara cared to admit in their calls. 

Alex had never, not once, seen Kara like this. 

Yes, Kara was hopeful, bright and shiny but this… This was an entirely new level. Kara had become the full embodiment of the term heart eyes. If Alex didn’t know that they had only known each other for two weeks, she would be worried that Kara had actually fallen for this woman. 

Which was impossible.

Kara was trusting but she had never, at least as far Alex was aware, ever given her heart away to anyone.

Maybe it had something to do with losing so much at a young age.

Maybe it was just how she was.

Alex knew Kara was careful, whether she admitted it or not.

Kara wouldn’t give her heart away unless she was sure it would be safe, unless she was sure she was getting the other person’s in return.

And there is no way Kara would feel like that after two weeks. She had dated Brian for two years and never once uttered the ‘L’ word. Adam didn’t even earn a subtle prod from Alex about if he could be the one. Yet after only a couple of days, Alex had asked when it came to the Chef. There was something in Kara’s blue eyes when she’d spoken about her. Some might say it looked like fear, and they would be right in a sense.

It was vulnerability. 

This Chef had broken through Kara’s personable shield, that she employed to prevent people from digging too deep, faster than anyone had ever done before. 

Alex had been the one to watch Kara construct it. 

Watched Kara perfect her disarming friendliness to throw off the pitiful stares and the harsh mutters of other students who made fun of her panic attacks and loss. She made herself so shiny and bright that no one could ever think that there was something wrong with her, some deep sadness and loss that made up her very core.

Alex was always able to see through it since she’d been there at its inception. 

Brain and Adam, though they were sweet, they never pierced this layer, never even saw it for the front it was. Alex couldn’t really blame them for that but it did help her to see that neither of them were ‘the one’ for her sister.

It took Winn six months of working closely with Kara to figure it out. At the time Alex had been impressed with Winn’s hidden astuteness but once she got to know him, found out about his Dad, she realised that his witty comments and relentless references to various pieces of geek culture was his shield too. He understood Kara in a way not many others would.

James took a year. He was one of the most perceptive people Alex knew, and was always quick to work out a person’s ulterior motives but he was practically blind when it came to his friends. Winn and Kara (and Alex by extension) were his blindspot and Alex wasn’t going to begrudge him that, not when she had the same issue.

This Chef, however, had managed to pull the real Kara out from behind the mask in a handful of days. 

In some ways, Alex was glad they had such a short time together as it would make moving on for Kara far easier. Any longer and Alex would worry that this separation would hit her sister rather hard. Hopefully, though, it would result in only the occasional moping during the first week or so before Kara was back to her normal self.

The sound of the apartment door opening pulled Alex from her train of thoughts and she instantly leapt to her feet. Kara emerged from the doorway, her suitcase trailing behind her looking slightly misshapen after being thrown around during a long day of travelling.

Alex, a wide smile settling on her face, crossed the room in large steps, eager to pull her tired-looking sister into a hug. “Kara, you're-”

Alex expected a beaming smile from her sister at their reunion.

She expected a deep, weary sigh as Kara experienced relief at returning home.

She expected giddy movements as Kara rushed forward to hug her.

Alex  _ did not  _ expect, nor was she remotely prepared, for Kara to promptly burst into tears.

“Wh- Ah!” Alex gasped out incoherently, completely taken aback by her sister’s impromptu breakdown. Thankfully, her honed sisterly instincts kicked in preventing her from standing there and watching Kara sob awkwardly. 

Alex kicked the front door shut before sweeping Kara up into a tight hug and carefully leading her over to the sofa which they sank into. Kara instantly buried herself in Alex’s arms enabling Alex to physically feel the bottomless sorrow being emitted from her sister by how her body convulsed dramatically with each gasp for air.

“Shh… it's okay. It's okay. I'm here for you. I'm here.” Alex soothed as she stroked Kara's back comfortingly like Eliza used to do when Kara first moved in with the Danvers. “What can I do?” Alex pleaded, wanting something,  _ anything, _ that she could do to alleviate her sister’s suffering.

She wanted an enemy to fight.

A problem to solve.

A question to answer.

“Nothing.” Kara choked out, with a bitterness so unlike her sister that Alex felt physically sick. “There's nothing… it's just going to  _ hurt _ .”

Alex pulled Kara tighter to her reflexively, “Did...”, she began to murmur, desperately trying to think of what could elicit such an emotional response from her sweet sister, “Did something happen with work?”

Kara snorted derisively at the suggestion, her tears not stopping for even a moment.

“Did you have an argument with the boys?” This was the only thing that Alex could think of that could hurt Kara greatly enough to result in her current state.

Kara shook her head, her fingers digging into Alex's arms in a silent plea for further warmth and comfort.

Alex licked her lips, dreading her final suggestion. All the others she would know how to deal with. If it was work she could boast Kara's confidence, find evidence to prove that Kara was incredible at her job and could easily find another one if required. If she’d had a falling out with the boys, Alex could  _ mediate _ (in other words knock their heads together and make them realise how much they loved each other).

This suggestion, though… Alex genuinely feared Kara would be right. 

She could do nothing.

“Is this about the Chef?” Alex asked tentatively.

The ‘yes’ came in the form of Kara stilling immediately, her entire body tensing unnaturally.

“Oh, Kara…”, Alex whispered, moving her hands to cup Kara's face and lift it up so that she could look her little sister in the eyes.

Heartbroken was the only word to describe Kara's usually bright blue eyes.

“It's not fair.” Kara stammered out painfully, “Why did it have to be  _ her _ ? Why did it have to be someone I couldn't be with?” 

Alex’s mouth opened and closed listlessly, no answer coming out. It was the question that had plagued her since she broke up with Maggie. 

It was a question she hoped her sister would never have to ask.

Alex sighed heavily, releasing Kara’s face so she could wrap her arms tightly around her sister and rest her cheek on the top of her head.

“You’re right… it’s not fair.” Alex relented almost inaudibly causing Kara to quieten her cries to hear her whispers, “And if you ever figure out the answer to either of those questions… please let me know…” 

The two sisters, both nursing broken hearts, stayed curled up on the sofa for the rest of the night, giving each other comfort for wounds only time could heal. 

Alex awoke the next morning to find Kara already up and nursing a cup of coffee whilst she stared despondently at nothing. Alex’s stomach twisted unpleasantly at the blank, hollowed out expression on her sister’s face, not that she was surprised to see her like this after watching Kara cry herself dry for what felt like the entire night, there simply couldn’t be any emotion left. 

Alex had never seen Kara like this... so empty…

“Morning…”, Alex called out gently, not wanting to spook her sister unnecessarily.

Kara lifted her head and muttered out an unenthusiastic, “Hey”, that did little to quell the escalating concern within Alex. 

Alex pursed her lips as she scrutinised her sister’s profile, eyeing the dark circles and furrowed brow which were a rare sight on Kara’s face. Approaching cautiously, Alex stepped up next to Kara’s seat at the kitchen island and reached out tentatively to brush Kara’s hair comfortingly with her fingers like she’d done for most of their time together last night. “Did you get much sleep?” She asked despite the obvious exhaustion weighing heavily on Kara that was answer enough. 

“Hmm…”, Kara hummed, barely acknowledging the question.

“Have you had anything to eat?” Alex tried instead, hoping that the power food had on her sister would lure out more than one syllable responses. This hope was vanquished readily when it failed to produce even a single word, Kara merely rocked the three-quarters full coffee cup in answer. “That’s not exactly a substantial meal…”

“Not hungry.” Kara replied somewhat tersely, ducking her gaze to the counter.

Alex’s eyebrows shot up in shock at that, her hand stilling it’s calming movement as she reflexively stated, “You’re always hungry.”

Kara shrugged away from Alex’s hand and shook her head dismissively, “Alex, just… leave it, okay?”

Alex’s dropped her hand lamely back to her side. “Okay.” She whispered, stepping away from Kara not wanting to upset her with any unwanted attention or closeness. 

She moved round the island and rested her forearms on the granite top, leaning forward instinctively towards her sister, unable to stop herself. Silence felt like a third, unwelcome spectre that had settled between the two of them and Alex couldn’t stand it. 

The two of them didn’t do this. 

At least, Kara didn’t. 

Sullen silences were Alex’s thing. Kara hated awkward silence more than she probably hated Mike Matthews. Alex would brood whilst Kara filled the quiet with random babbling on a number of random, unrelated topics. Now it was Kara being quiet and Alex finally understanding the overwhelming need to fill the silence that Kara always experienced.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Alex finally inquired, trying to catch Kara’s eye by swaying left and right.

“What’s there to talk about?” Kara stated defeatedly, crossing her arms protectively, still refusing to meet Alex’s gaze. “It’s done. It’s over. Just need to get over it now.” The bitterness in Kara’s voice was so palpable Alex’s nose wrinkled at the sourness of it.

Alex bit her lip thoughtfully, “Do you?”

Kara’s head snapped up, a flash of her former self appearing in the confused mist clouding her eyes, “Do I... what?”

“Do you need to get over it?” Alex questioned, explaining further when Kara’s confusion remained steadfast, “I mean… I know she lives in a different country but people make long distance work…”

“We’ve talked about this-” Kara cut in the second the familiar expression of confusion disappeared to be replaced by something cold and harsh.  

“That was before.” Alex interrupted in return, having pre-empted Kara’s reaction. 

“Before?” Kara prompted, her cold blue eyes narrowing at the off-handed comment.

Alex hesitated for only a heartbeat to fully compose herself before ripping the cord and stating neutrally, “Before you fell in love with her.”

Kara inhaled sharply, her jaw moving but no sound coming out. Eventually, her nostrils flared and she said defiantly, “I’ve only known her two weeks.”

“That’s not a no.” Alex assessed.

Kara’s jaw clenched noticeably, “Alex, don’t play ‘detective’ with me.”

Alex cocked an eyebrow, “Still not denying it.” 

Kara tensed uncomfortably, her hands clenching into fists as she drew herself up to her full height, “I’m not in love with her, happy?”

Alex tilted her head to the side, taking in Kara’s trembling bottom lip and the heavy swallows being pushed down as she resisted breaking down into tears again. Kara abruptly broke eye contact and looked around, knowing the lie was reflected clearly in her blue eyes. 

“No.” Alex replied honestly. 

How could she be happy when Kara was so heartbroken? 

“So…” Alex sighed, running a hand through her hair, “there’s no chance-”

“Ten years.” Kara huffed out darkly.

“Huh?”

Kara turned back again, an ever present fury boiling below the surface, “That’s the most optimistic timeline for how long it would take for immigration to Theonia to be feasible.” Alex’s stomach sank through the floor and carried onto the actual ground several stories below. 

She wasn’t sure whether the intense sense of shock came from how impossible Kara’s situation was or the fact that Kara must have considered it enough to look into it. It being immigrating. Alex didn’t know how to fathom either piece of information. 

“Ten years.” Kara repeated angrily, picking up her coffee mug and taking a deep drink presumably just wanting to have something that could distract her from whatever dark emotions were running through her.

“Well, uh… people eat here… could she-” Alex began, switching tract to find even the semblance of hope.

“No.” Kara rejected the idea before it was even fully formed, “She’s…”, Kara coughed uncomfortably, an odd flush appearing on her cheeks as she fumbled with her glasses, “Uh… the Royal chef, it would be… uh… highly disrespectful and shameful to leave that position.”

“Right…”, Alex said slowly, “I think I understand.” She demurred even though she didn’t understand even slightly.

“Just it’s not possible, okay?” Kara murmured, “And trust me… I went through every option in my head on the flight back and none…”, Kara’s voice cracked and became raspy, “None gave us a chance.”

“Okay…”, Alex accepted, not strong enough to push her sister when it was apparent it might just break her. 

“How did you get over Maggie?” Kara demanded bluntly, her blue eyes shifting from cold to open and begging.

Alex’s chest felt like it was being crushed by an incredible weight. “I… I-...” Alex stammered uncertainly. 

It wasn’t that she wasn’t over Maggie. She was… more or less. Yes, it still hurt to think about her at times but it had softened over time. She had steadily thought about her less and less. A piece of her would always love Maggie, and she would never regret their time together. But that piece had gotten less vocal, it had tucked itself away in the back of her mind and heart, not forgotten but no longer all consuming. Seeing Maggie last week had brought it all back and seeing Kara going through her own heartbreak re-opened a few wounds but she was over Maggie. She had been on a couple of dates, none serious but she was approaching a state where she could see someone else filling the space that Maggie had once occupied. 

Issue was… she in all honesty had no idea what she did to get over Maggie. 

She had no real advice for her sister, which was devastating especially considering that she felt she should be able to help on this particular topic. 

Not wanting to let Kara down in any way, Alex stuttered out, “Um... keeping busy. Finding something to fill the space that’s left. Just… time…”

“Time. Right…”, Kara muttered, nodding to herself, disappointed by the lack of a shortcut. Kara slipped off her chair and forced a broken smile that didn’t fit quite right on her face, “Pftt, I’ll be fine by tomorrow.” She stated trying a little bit too hard at sounding casual.

“Kara-”, Alex soothed, figuring whilst she might not like the out of character sullenness she definitely preferred it to a Kara repressing even more darkness to add to her already large volume.

“I knew her two weeks, that’s it…” The dismissal clearly pained Kara substantially if the wince following the statement was any indication. “That’s barely anything. I’ll be over it in half that time.”

“Kara-”, Alex tried again as Kara brushed past her to start opening cupboards and drawers at random to give the pretence of looking busy.

“So, breakfast and netflix?” Kara rambled away, putting a definitive end to their conversation, “We’ve got a lot to catch up on. The Good Place first though, alright? Then I want to hear about all your cases whilst I was away.” Alex exhaled heavily and wandered off to slump on the sofa, realising the pointlessness of even trying to get more out of Kara when she was set on avoiding a problem. “And don’t skimp on the details, you know I like to see if I can figure it out as you tell the story. Cereal or toast? Oooh, both. You get the tv, I’ll get the food.”

Kara continued her one-sided monologue for the rest of the morning, Alex grunting or muttering when Kara occasionally stopped long enough to expect an answer. The false cheer softened as the day went on, and Alex could see Kara slowly returning to something more akin to herself. She wasn’t as bright as normal and her smiles faded quicker than they used to, but the knot of worry in Alex’s stomach eased somewhat. By the afternoon, Kara had quietened down enough that the two of them could share a proper conversation, catching each other up more fully on their time apart. Alex talked about her cases whilst Kara spoke of her favourite places in Theonia and the interesting people she had met (the Chef being noticeably absent in her stories). 

Alex wasn’t eager to leave her sister alone that night, but Kara’s promise that she was feeling slightly better and was planning to go straight to bed to get some much needed rest soothed her worries enough to depart. So Alex agreed with only minor reluctance, and committed herself to coming back in the morning for them to get breakfast together at the nearby diner before work. 

Come morning, Kara appeared better rested and had maintained her improved demeanour from yesterday afternoon. Reassured by Kara’s obvious enthusiasm at returning to the CatCo offices and her steady return to normal, Alex felt the worry seep away and her confidence in her sister’s ability to move on replace it. 

In the days following Alex kept a close eye on her sister, observing carefully how she was handling everything after her emotional turmoil. 

Alex was surprised, yet pleased, to watch as Kara actually managed to remain true to her throwaway statement of recovering quickly from her heartbreak. Within a week she was back to her usual cheeriness. Her smiles were just as wide and her eyes just as bright as they used to be within a handful of days. 

By the second week, Alex watched as her sister didn’t hesitate to engage in social engagements (remembering her own reclusive habits after breaking up with Maggie) and put her focus on advancing her career, staying late most days to capitalise on the output from the Theonia trip. 

Alex slowly began to think that maybe... this heartbreak was having a positive impact on Kara in the long run. 

Whatever had been broken appeared to have healed rapidly, leaving behind something sturdier and stronger. 

Admittedly, Alex wasn't overly surprised by the rapid bounce back displayed by her sister. 

Kara was right that she had only known the Chef for two weeks in the grand scheme of things and one person couldn't leave such a lasting impression over such a short amount of time in Alex’s opinion. Also (and most importantly) Kara was the single strongest person Alex knew. 

The unassuming blonde had an iron will unmatched by anyone Alex had ever met.

Kara would make a mistake, get something wrong or have something bad happen and instead of letting it affect her negatively, Kara would learn what she could from it and move forward, stronger from the experience. It was Kara’s optimistic outlook at its most valuable and inspiring; Alex was in a constant state of awe over this attribute, as it meant Kara found something of value in even the worst experiences.  

By the third week, Kara's recovery had become even more pronounced. 

She was social to an even higher level than what she had been before she went to Theonia: arranging a games night to celebrate their return to Metropolis the first chance she could, organising two separate sister nights in the space of a week, going to after work drinks whenever she could and even reaching out to make contact with old acquaintances she hadn’t spoken to in a while. 

And when she wasn't interacting with friends, Kara was working. 

The number of articles Kara was generating was staggering. Follow up pieces for all the topics she touched on in her Theonian articles were produced sooner than expected, and her in-depth analysis of Theonian’s future in the international community (a huge piece of work) was released to much acclaim far sooner than anyone had presumed possible.

Overall, Kara was smiling wider, standing taller and charming the entire world.

Looking back on those three weeks…. Alex would always feel a tight coil of self-loathing settle in her stomach. 

Because she had fallen for the facade like everyone else when she should have seen through it immediately.

It took her three whole weeks to realise what was happening.

To realise every smile on Kara's face was a lie.

“Ms. Grant thinks I could really make a name for myself with international politics.” 

It was like any other Friday night at their favourite local dive bar. Alex, Kara, James and Winn had snagged their favourite booth which was equidistant from the bar, pool tables and toilets. The main subject for that night was Kara’s career progression. 

With their Theonia content finally drying up and public interest starting to wane, Cat Grant had finally approached Kara about ‘her future journalistic speciality’ (Kara had, since starting at CatCo, resiliently stuck to employing air quotes whenever she directly quoted the famous, or infamous depending on your opinion, Cat Grant). 

James was listening attentively as Kara listed her options, sipping from his beer carefully to ensure a level of sobriety. Alex had nearly finished her second whiskey (having the best tolerance of them all, she was rather unaffected) and was also paying close attention to her sister’s gestures trying to pick up on what choice Kara was actually leaning towards. 

Winn, on the surface, appeared to be completely distracted, his focus switching from his phone to the bar to the nearby pool tables. Alex, however, had immediately picked up on the fact that he was also nursing his beer, barely even sipping when he looked like he was taking a deep swig. He was listening closely, a flicker of concern on his face whenever he glanced Kara’s way that Alex had noticed slowly grow and deepen inexplicably over the last couple weeks. 

Winn was studying Kara closest but doing his darnedest to hide it. 

Alex shook her head gently, returning from her minor assessment of her closest friends to listen in on what Kara was saying. The blonde was just finishing up listing a rather lengthy pro and con list with her normal, run of the mill, enthusiasm. Her points were logical and well-thought out about why international politics would be a good fit for her but Alex had been easily able to tune out what her younger sister was saying because there was no fire behind her words. 

There was enthusiasm there without a doubt. 

But Kara Danvers approached just about every activity or topic with a level of enthusiasm even children being presented with a new toy couldn’t muster. 

And international politics only generated an everyday level of Kara Danvers enthusiasm.

There was no passion.

Her eyes didn’t light up with excitement.

And her words didn’t come out in a relentless stream as she tried to say a million things at once, her mind moving at a hundred miles an hour.

Kara’s greatest weakness was being a people pleaser, trying to fit into what society expected, striving to achieve accolades and goals set by others. Alex knew Kara well enough to know that her younger sister felt that reporting on international politics would be seen as the best path for her career and as such it was the  _ only  _ path. Even if there was an alternative that captured her interest far more. 

Alex, James and Winn all exchanged a quiet, knowing look as Kara trailed off once she had run out of advantages and disadvantages.

Kara stared off into space, worrying her lip with her teeth as she quietly murmured, “There’s also science and technology, I guess but…” She swallowed thickly and shrugged, dipping her head instinctively (though, not quickly enough for Alex not to see the minor flash of excitement in Kara’s eyes), “It’s not really an area that will produce anything hard-hitting, you know?”

Alex cocked an eyebrow at James to initiate a silent conversation of ‘who would start the gentle prodding’, this was settled by a slight tip of James’ beer towards Alex. “Not necessarily…”, Alex countered slowly, “I personally think you would be amazing in that area.” 

Kara tilted her head to one side as she looked up to meet Alex’s gaze, hope blossoming in her blue eyes, “Really?”

“Yeah,” James joined in offering support from both sides, “you have a good understanding of most scientific disciplines-”

“Nerd.” WInn cut in to comment and was rewarded by a swift punch to the arm for his trouble. “Ow!”

James continued unperturbed, not even bothering to glance over at Winn who was dramatically rubbing his arm. “And your dedication to research means that if you don’t know something you’ll work hard to understand it. The main reason you’d be good at it, though…”, James paused for a second to add emphasis and sincerity to what followed, “is that you have the unique talent of taking incredibly complex topics and highly technical subjects and making them  _ accessible _ .”

“You know how to capture people’s interest and teach them.” Alex summed up, giving Kara an affectionate nudge with her elbow, “That’s amazing!” 

“Pfft… come on.” Kara dismissed with a wave of her hand, but the pleased blush diffusing across her cheeks gave away the impact of Alex’s praise.

“Take your article on Theonia’s international policy.” Winn suggested, deciding to actually add something useful to the conversation much to everyone’s surprise, “That’s such a daunting topic, it would intimidate most experts in the field, yet you…”, Winn paused to point an almost accusing finger at Kara, who immediately went cross eyed to focus on it. “You managed to simplify it, without dumbing it down, so the readers could understand what was happening and the decisions being made. You made a huge, complicated topic  _ accessible _ for a wide audience.”

“Hmm…”, Kara pursed her lips thoughtfully at that and Alex saw her chance to address the crux of Kara’s hesitation now that she was open minded and listening. 

“Kara,” Alex called out softly, causing a blue-eyed gaze to sweep over to her and watch her with their usual alertness that appeared whenever Alex dropped her gruff facade in public for her. “All we’re really trying to say is… don’t rule something out just because it doesn’t fit the image in your head of what people think a successful reporter should be.” Kara’s brow furrowed and her gaze went downcast, obviously aware that her internal thoughts were far more apparent than she had anticipated. “You’re Kara freaking Danvers!” Alex cheered, clapping Kara on the shoulder to boost her back up. “You should measure yourself by your own standards, not the rest of the world’s. Don’t be afraid to change the picture in your head.” Alex said, poking Kara in the centre of her forehead as she did so.

“Picture?” Kara inquired slightly bewildered as she batted Alex’s hand away good naturedly.

“Yeah, you know the one I’m talking about…” Alex nodded encouragingly as she picked up her whiskey glass to gesture wildly with it in rhythm with her explanation, “The ‘what I want my future to look like’ picture.” Kara blinked at that, her eyes slowly clouding over as her imagination rushed to construct whatever image Alex’s words had prompted. “Don’t make choices solely based on what you wanted five years ago.” Alex guided, aware that only half what she was saying would probably be heard by Kara when she was zoned out like this. “People change... and most of the time that’s a good thing. Don’t be afraid to let the picture change too.” 

Kara didn’t acknowledge that she had heard any of what Alex had just said, her face remained carefully blank and her muscles seemed to tense up uncomfortably as she worked on whatever image she was generating in her mind’s eye. Eventually bored of waiting for Kara to return to the land of the living, Alex decided to speed up the process by poking Kara’s forehead yet again.  

“So, what does yours like?” Alex prompted, taking a long sip of her drink as she studied Kara.

It was a split second.

It was the second of realisation that Kara underwent when she came back from whatever world she had created for herself to the reality surrounding her. 

It was a second between trance and active.

It was a second where Kara didn’t have enough time to put on her wide smile, make her eyes shine and emit her usual cheerful aura. 

It was all it took, however, for Alex to realise that she had failed. That she had been fooled by a mask that she believed wholeheartedly she could see through. 

In that split second Alex had never seen Kara look so… so…  _ devastated. _

Utterly heartbroken by what is was that she wanted for herself in the future and the impossibility of it.

“I... I…”, Kara stuttered, her heartbreak such an open and visceral wound that she struggled to find any words.

Alex’s throat felt tight and the whiskey glass in her hand trembled as Kara glanced at her, acutely aware that she had finally been caught out.

“Kara?” James prodded kindly from across the table, having missed Kara’s expression since she was turned away from him.

Kara took a deep breath, her beaming smile instantly taking over her face as she lifted her own bottle up and rambled cheerfully like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. “Oh look, I’m empty. Who wants another drink? My round.” Kara declared, shooting to her feet and skipping over to the bar without a backward glance.

Alex looked over to see Winn watching her closely, a dejected expression on his face that Alex assumed was mirrored on hers. 

“Fuck...”, Alex whispered angrily, the feeling of failing her little sister like a sharp knife to the gut. 


	22. What's Wrong With Her Majesty?

“What’s wrong with Her Majesty?”

Sam’s head whipped round to find none other than Jess, in her standard purple and white attire, looming ominously over her desk, having managed to enter through the closed office door in total silence. “Jess, what a pleasant yet intimidating surprise.” Sam greeted, leaning back apprehensively, eager to put a little bit more space between herself and the stern, piercing glare being directed her way. 

Jess pursed her lips, reducing them to near invisibility, “Miss Arias whilst I appreciate, what I assume, is your attempt at humour-”

“Ouch.” Sam reflexively muttered under her breath.

“-I don’t have the time nor the interest to fake through social niceties when Her Majesty is so obviously suffering.” Jess continued bluntly, refusing to acknowledge Sam’s wince. 

“Right…”, Sam murmured, tapping her fingers nervously along the edge of the desk. “What makes you think something is wrong?” She chose to ask instead of answering a question she was scrambling to construct a response for.

Jess breathed in deeply, obviously annoyed at the tangent, but also determined to respond to the best of her ability, not knowing how to approach a task any other way. “She is working beyond her already excessive hours.” She began to list in a neutral monotone. “She no longer stays late at public interactions to talk to her citizens,” Jess paused momentarily to reflect on this particular change, “admittedly I appreciate how this has resulted in her keeping to the schedule with far greater consistency, this behaviour is completely out of character. She hasn’t been out to the stables once, even though she would always try to go every couple of days just to see Loki. Then there’s the fact that she hasn’t cooked or baked anything for the last week. She also-”

“I get it.” Sam cut in, lifting a hand in silent plea to stop, when she realised that Jess was showing no sign of slowing down and every addition to the list caused the uncomfortable twisted tightness in Sam’s gut to get more and more pronounced. “I didn’t realise you’d picked up on all that.” Sam remarked incredulously. 

Jess was, without a doubt the best employee currently working at the Royal Palace (and Sam very much included herself in that list of comparison). Sam and Lena had regularly commented to one another how everything would fall apart without Jess there to steer things with her meticulous planning.

Lena had hired Jess after only a five minute long interview. To this day Sam didn’t know what it was that Jess said that convinced Lena to hire her that quickly but she was so overwhelmingly thankful that she did. Jess was efficient, organised, dedicated and unfalteringly loyal, attributes that more than compensated for her lack of personal skills. 

Jess didn’t do small talk, or talk of any kind really. 

She didn’t show much emotion or affection to any of the people she worked with day in and day out. She would notice a pen being out of place on her desk and when a meeting overran by mere seconds. Yet she wouldn’t notice when the person sat at the desk next to her left on maternity leave, nor would she notice when an intern she had given a substantial piece of work to broke down across the room fearing that he had gotten it all wrong. 

Hence why Jess being able to identify all of these details about Lena was surprising in and of itself.

Jess’ expression flickered for a second and Sam didn’t have enough time to interpret it before Jess explained slowly as if trying to rationalise it to herself as well. “It’s my job to pre-empt the Queen’s needs and right now... I am struggling to do that. It made sense to clearly catalogue the ways she had changed so that I can return to my previous efficiency.”

Sam opened and closed her mouth slowly, realising that Jess was genuinely worried or upset by Lena’s recent shift in disposition and wasn’t sure how to handle it. Sam cleared her throat appreciating that Jess wouldn’t be comfortable on this subject for much longer, “Good to know.” 

Jess stared at her expectantly, “Do you need me to repeat the original question?”

“Uh… no.” Sam coughed, deciding that her re-assessment of the Queen’s secretary could wait until later. “Um… The Queen is going through some…”, Sam exhaled heavily, and settled on the only answer that would guarantee the ever respectful and proper woman before her would not investigate Lena’s mood shift, “personal things.”

“Understood.” Jess replied, her blank face not faltering for even a second at the answer. She nodded once to herself before turning on her heel to move to the exit. Sam was halfway through her sigh of relief (Jess was the only person that genuinely had the ability to intimidate the almost fearless chief of staff), when, all of a sudden, Jess halted abruptly and turned back round. “Miss Arias?”

“Yes?” Sam said curiously. Jess was never one to continue a conversation once she had the information she needed, nor was she someone to not cover everything she wished to before making her departure. Jess remembered everything and always acted with purpose. Her turning back must be about something deemed critical enough to break protocol.

Sam waited patiently as Jess seemed to take a moment to prepare herself for whatever it was she was going to say next.

“Will she be okay?”

Sam deflated upon hearing the tentative question.

It was the only question that really mattered.

The question that she, as chief of staff and best friend, should have been able to answer.

“I don’t know…”, Sam admitted quietly, shocking herself and Jess with her honesty, not that the secretary outwardly reacted to it. 

Jess nodded once more and left as silently and unassumingly as she had entered, leaving Sam to drown in the worry for her best friend that had been growing uninhibitedly since she had escorted Kara and the other journalists to the plane, most likely to never return again.

Sam remembered the empty, blank expression on the blonde journalist’s face as she had stood beside her whilst the other reporters boarded the plane. She remembered finding Lena curled up on the bed unable to move for the entire day. Lena hadn’t cried, sobbed or even reacted to Sam’s warm embrace. She remained motionless and unmoved, staring listlessly at the blank wall. Sam had enough forethought to cancel all of Lena’s meetings for the day, not that Sam ever let there be too many on a Sunday in the first place.

Sam was soon forced to abandon her friend to relieve the babysitter, but she had arranged for Lucy to take over the vigil. As she went to leave, Lucy appeared to take her place without even a second break.

It wasn’t until the early hours of the morning that Lucy sent a message confirming that Lena had finally managed to fall asleep.

On Monday, considering the level of exhaustion Lena had shown obvious signs of yesterday, Sam had naively hoped Lena wouldn’t be in her office until at least the latter half of the morning. She was unsurprisingly disappointed.

Lena was seated at her desk before Sam even arrived at the Palace. Lena’s gaze was sharp and focused, her expression unnaturally blank and even her polite, queenly smile lacked any of its usual warmth and charm.

Sam let Lena use work as her distraction for the first two days, carefully monitoring her best friend for any other red-flags. She was sleeping less, eating less and taking even less time for herself. Sam’s concern increased dramatically when Lena refused to even take a five minute break to visit Loki at Captain Dunn’s kind suggestion when they were on their way back from a meeting with leaders in industry.  

Sam approached Lena as often as she could after that, making gentle requests and soft pleas for her best friend to take a break or have the Palace staff bring her something to eat. Her appeals fell on deaf ears, Lena dismissed her advice without a second thought and pivoted onto whatever plan or action required her immediate attention. Sam wanted to push back every single time but there was that glint of steel in Lena’s eye that meant she would do the one thing she hated to do more than any other.

She would pull the Queen card. 

She would give Sam an order and Sam would be forced to acquiesce.

Sam never went against an order from her Queen, which probably wasn’t saying much since Lena had only ever given her orders twice. And both of those times it was to stop Sam from helping her, from protecting her.

Lena had only ever asked Sam for help  _ once. _

The day they first met.

A black horse. A white face. A crimson trail.

Black, white and red.

Help.

It was those images - those three stark, contrasting colours - followed by a whispered plea that Sam would always remember about the day she met Lena. 

The day her whole life changed. 

The flood of red and the paleness of Lena’s skin against Loki’s black hair had, for a long time, been the single focus whenever Sam’s mind wandered back to that day. But as time passed, as her friendship with Lena grew into something resembling family, it was the whispered, almost delirious murmur for help that Sam became fixated on.

Sam was convinced Lena didn’t even remember asking for help that day. 

Probably didn’t remember much after being shot other than the terrifying need to escape.

It was the closest Sam had ever come to losing Lena; she almost lost her before even getting to know her. 

A recurring nightmare for Sam that she had only shared with Lena once was the whispered, ‘what if?’

_ What if she hadn’t come across Lena in time? _

_ What if she hadn’t been there to help? _

The nightmare had returned over the last week for understandable reasons. Sam was here to help but prevented from doing so by the very person who needed it.

_ What if she couldn’t help this time around? _

The new question was buzzing in the back of her mind during all waking hours now and made worse by the fact that it wasn’t just Jess who was aware of the Queen’s change of disposition. 

Jess may be the only person in the offices brave (or tactless) enough to explicitly ask what was going on with the Queen, but there was enough whispers, enough worried expressions for Sam to know that the entire office were concerned. Extra care was taken by staffers to ensure the Queen was comfortable and the interns had organised, privately amongst themselves, a Queenwatch, rotating every few hours who was responsible to be on hand if the Queen required anything. Sam wanted to personally thank all of them for there support but didn’t want to open the inevitable gateway for questions, the top one being, ‘What’s wrong with Her Majesty?’

Sam still didn’t have an answer to that question that she could share with but a handful of people.

The question kept coming though in its many variations and forms.

“Her Majesty not attending today?” 

Sam shook her head in answer as Ruby went to greet the Skylark players readying themselves for their pre-match warm-up. Daniel Kosta had strolled closer, whilst Ruby indulged in the routine that she always used to complete with Lena before every Skylark match, and seized the opportunity to ask about the rather noticeable absence for the Skylark’s pre-season friendly match.

“No, not today.” Sam replied trying her hardest to give the rugby captain a reassuring smile as she put on an encouraging tone, “Though, you know there’s no way she will miss the opening game of the season.”

“Especially when it's against the Reignhold Lions.” Daniel teased good naturedly, earning a chuckle from Sam.

“Especially.” She agreed, though she wondered if the match just a few weeks away would be the same as it was or if Lena would struggle to get up her usual enthusiasm. 

“Is she okay?” The rugby captain asked softly, his gaze dropping to the floor like an uncertain small child asking about something they don’t know if they are old enough or strong enough to know the answer to.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t she be?” Sam tried to laugh it off but Daniel’s shoulders remained slumped and his normally charming smile was lacking. 

“I don’t know…” Daniel shrugged one shoulder, lifting his head to squint at the overcast sky as he let out a heavy sigh, “She just looks… sad.” 

Sam’s stomach plummeted at the simple yet, painfully, accurate descriptor. 

Lena just looked sad all the time now. It was as if the strength or will to hide her pain left on the flight with Kara, and now finally the emotional truth that Lena had been hiding for years was bare for everyone to see. 

The fake smiles, the empty gaze and robotic gestures were glaringly obvious now especially to those who knew the Queen well. Even those who only knew the Queen on a surface level, like most of the citizens, could tell there was something different about her. Something  _ sadder _ even if they couldn’t fully articulate or rationalise it. 

“On the news that is. The guys and I were worried but if you say she’s okay…” Daniel murmured, trying to ease his own misgivings.

“She will be…” Sam declared with as much certainty as she could muster. She forced a wide smile and clapped Daniel on the shoulder in the same way Lena would before every game to wish them luck. “You boys winning will definitely put her in a good mood.”

Daniel brightened significantly at Sam’s assertion, his eyes becoming steely focused with extra reason to succeed. “Then victory will be ours…” He cheered, bowing his head respectfully as he promised with reverence in his voice, “For Her Majesty.”

By the end of the second week, Sam was hearing the whispers at every event, in passing at the supermarket and even when picking Ruby up from school. 

“Do you think something’s wrong with the Queen?” A middle aged woman asked her husband in the queue at the coffee shop, pointing indiscreetly at the most recent press conference Lena had given just yesterday playing on the television in the corner. Sam merely kept her head down, trying her hardest to ignore the conversation taking place about her best friend right behind her, choosing to grab her coffee and get out of there as quickly as possible.

“Mummy, why does the Queen look so sad?” A little girl asked her mother bluntly at the fundraiser event at the Royal Observatory where the Queen was speaking. Sam was stood on the edge of the crowd murmuring into her phone, making preparations for the next event of the day. None of that though, prevented her from hearing the question or seeing the mother drop to the floor and whisper to the young girl in a hushed voice that didn’t once deny the truth of the girl’s question.

“When was the last time she smiled?” A teenage boy asked his friend thoughtfully as they stared up at the Queen from their seats in the university auditorium. Sam, who was stood silently and unseen next to the wall by the exit, immediately flung her head back, barely suppressing the groan upon hearing what appeared to be the only conversation happening in Theonia.  

“She’s smiling right now.” The friend replied, jerking his head towards where Lena explained the importance of literature and philosophy especially in times of change.  

“That’s not her real smile.” The first boy snorted dismissively, “Look how fake it looks.”

It was never-ending.

“What’s wrong with the Queen?”

“Is the Queen alright?”

“Has something happened to the Queen?”

Lena’s broken heart was bleeding through brightly enough that even the Queen’s professionalism couldn’t truly hide it.  

Honestly, the amount of love and care being directed towards Lena touched Sam greatly. Her people weren’t demanding that she smile more or rudely demanding that their Queen return to normal. The wanted to know what was wrong to help, they wanted to cheer her up and encourage her. It was heartwarming, but it stung as well. The very people who loved Lena more than anything, and who Lena loved just as much in return. were the very people keeping her from what she truly wanted. 

By week three, Sam was genuinely scared she would never see her best friend again, at least not the real her. 

Lena hadn’t let herself be Lena for three weeks. 

Every conversation Sam had with Lena was about meetings, policies and politics. Lena was the Queen almost twenty-four seven, she never did anything for herself anymore. Her day was filled with work, meetings and events; and her evenings were spent preparing for the next day. 

Sam had taken to bringing Ruby to the Palace almost every day to just see a flash of her best friend for a fleeting moment. Ruby seemed to be the only person capable of breaking through to Lena, probably because Lena could never bear to see a hurt expression so much as flash onto Ruby’s face for even a second.

“Mum?” Ruby whispered quietly, her voice cracking a little over the single word, in the car on the way home after a particularly long day

Sam sighed heavily, “I know sweetie. I know. You don’t need to say it.”

Ruby stared forlornly out the window, Lena’s retreat in on herself hurting her just as much as it did Sam, “We’ve got to do something, Mum. She should get to be happy.” Ruby declared fervently, her hands tensing and untensing with the anger at the unfairness of it all. “Just this one time, she should get what  _ she  _ wants.”

“Yeah, she should...”, Sam agreed her voice trailing off weakly, her heart equal parts heavy at Lena’s continued sacrifice and light at her daughter’s empathy.

Ruby’s expression dimmed further at Sam’s lack of hopefulness.

Sam instinctively gripped the steering wheel tighter, her resolve hardening into steel at this final push. “Leave it with me.” Sam declared resolutely, straightening up in the driver’s seat as her mind was finally given permission to conspire freely. 

Ruby beamed in response, fully trusting that her mother would save Lena like she had done all those years ago. 

Sam had no intention of letting Ruby or Lena down. 

Not this time. 

Not when Lena could be truly happy after years of putting others before herself.

Sam spent the evening and the majority of the night planning and investigating. Ruby kept her fuelled with tea, coffee and snacks as requested before Sam sent her to bed for school totally impervious to the pleading pout sent her way. 

Sam wasn’t just Lena’s chief of staff because she was her best friend and therefore loyal to a fault. 

No. 

Sam was the chief of staff because she was impressively skilled at dealing with intrigue and spinning public opinion. During the war, Sam was the one who figured out what pressure points to hit to get enemies to turn their side and how to keep public opinion despite the overwhelming volume of propaganda being created by Lex to turn the country against Lena. 

Sam deserved her job and she was damn good at it. 

She used her skills as directed by Lena gladly, but just this once she was intent on using them  _ for  _ Lena. 

She would figure out how to make this work.

She would make the impossible, possible.

“What’s wrong with Her Majesty?”

Sam pulled a face, thankful that Lucy couldn’t see her through the phone. Sam had literally just sat down at her desk, already feeling exhausted from her night of plotting, when her phone began to ring, presumably Commander Lane had gotten one of the royal guards to give her a head’s up when Sam got in. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Sam muttered through a heavy yawn, trying not to get sucked into a conversation she wasn’t sure she or Lucy were ready to have just yet. 

“Don’t play dumb.” Lucy said with a disapproving click of her tongue. “I’ve done a full background search on you, your IQ score makes me look like I never graduated from shapes to actual maths.”

“Lucy, I thought we helped you overcome these feelings of self-confidence.” Sam instantly reprimanded, never pleased when her friends put themselves down in any shape or form. “You know how amazing you are-”

“Oh my god, you’re such a Mum!” Lucy exclaimed loudly, cutting Sam off mid-motivational speech.

“I know.” Sam mumbled in agreement with an accepting shrug.

“Can’t you direct your ‘Mum’-ness at Lena?” Lucy requested with a childish whine. 

“You don’t think I’ve tried?” Sam frowned, dropping all pretence at the mere suggestion that she hadn’t been trying to help her best friend. “I’ve never seen her shut down like this before. She’s all Queen, there’s barely any of Lena left.”

Lucy huffed out a breath in disappointment, falling silent for a long moment. Sam took the opportunity to boot up her computer and flick through the stack of documents on her desk. “This can’t all be because of Blondie.” Lucy drawled after some reflection.

“I thought I told you not to her call her that.” Sam admonished with a roll of her eyes. 

“No…”, Lucy replied slowly, her usual teasing tone slipping into place, “you told me not to call her the Human-Puppy. Blondie is far more succinct.”

“Grr…” Sam growled, readying herself to jump to Kara’s defence before taking a steadying breath as she remembered what her priorities really were, “Whatever, one problem at a time.”

“Right.” Lucy agreed eagerly, pleased to have annoyed Sam into getting to the heart of the matter. “So…” Lucy murmured expectantly, “what’s Lena’s deal?”

“She’s heartbroken.” Sam announced, a small sense of relief washing through her at finally getting to honestly answer that infernal question. 

Lucy took a moment to absorb that answer and Sam imagined the commander leaning back in her chair as she was wont to do whenever viewing a problem from a different tactical approach. 

“Look,” Lucy eventually said, “I get that she liked the journalist.” 

Sam pursed her lips worriedly, waiting to see if Lucy could actually be her ally. 

“Blondie was good for her, I don’t disagree, and it was incredible to see Lena actually happy… but…  _ come on _ .” Lucy exaggerated the two words, to add emphasis to her next point. “You and I both know Lena has been through far worse. Are you seriously telling me that one girl she knew for barely two weeks has made her… you know… _ this _ ...” Lucy’s voice cut out as she scrambled for the right word to describe what had become of someone she cared about so deeply.

“Hollow…”, Sam supplied despondently.

“Yeah…”, Lucy sighed out.

“She’s never been in love before.”

“Couldn’t she have just fallen in love with a Theonian?” Lucy questioned wistfully, “Ninety percent of the country would jump at the chance to be with her.”

“Lena wouldn’t be Lena if she ever did things the easy way.” Sam reasoned.

“She also wouldn’t be the best monarch this country ever had.” Lucy added, the obvious pride in her voice shining through strongly enough to pull a small smile from Sam.

“True.” Sam conceded.

“Is there anything I can do for her?” Lucy asked totally sincere for once, not even the hint of teasing present.  

“You know Lena will never accept any help.” Sam reminded gently, knowing how much not being able to do something would hurt the hardened commander. “Just… be there for her as much as she’ll let you. Maybe keep her company on her social events so she’s not alone.”

“Will do.” Lucy promised, “Sam… she’ll be okay, though, right?” She begged, “Lena is the strongest person I know… so… she’s got to be okay, right?”

“I… I don’t know… This is different…” Sam stammered out honestly, not capable of lying to one of her closest friends especially about something this important. The heavy exhale of frustration and sorrow gave Sam the courage she needed to bring up what she had started planning, “Hey, Lucy…?”

“Oooh,” Lucy audibly perked up almost immediately, “you’ve got your plotting voice on… what are you thinking?”

“What would you be willing to do to make Lena happy?” Sam questioned curiously, as she glanced through the window of her office that let her see into the main hub of the royal offices where Lena was talking to Jess with what was steadily becoming her normal emotionless mask.

“Anything.” Lucy announced without any hesitation.

Sam narrowed her gaze on her unaware best friend and Queen as she asked her next question. “What would the people who work in the Palace be willing to do?”

“Anything.” The commander just as quickly.

“The country?” Sam prompted.

“Anything.”

Sam took a deep breath and asked her final question, “Then does she really have to be heartbroken?”

Sam and Lucy remained on the phone for a further ten minutes or so, during which Sam gave the head of security a rundown on what she had been working through last night. Lucy offered her support before Sam even had the chance to ask for it. Sam gave the commander a list of actions, most of them related to information gathering that would inform her ‘machiavellian plotting’ (as Lucy lovingly referred to it). Lucy promised to get to work that instant and Sam felt a small weight lift at knowing she wasn’t working alone anymore. 

For the rest of the morning, Sam worked through the various tasks that required her attention whilst also fielding phone calls from ministers desperate for some time with the Queen. She sent through a couple of them to the Queen directly, promised time with the Queen in a few days time to others (passing their names onto Jess with the level of priority next to their name) and palmed the remaining few off with vague commitments to look into their requirements at some (unspecified) time in the future.

She stopped for lunch, taking the time to go and see Captain Dunn who had returned to desk duty without the inflated number of people requiring the royal guards protection. Recruiting him to the cause was far easier than Sam had expected, the old soldier merely gave her humble nod and a murmured commitment to help in whatever capacity he could, with the proviso that whatever she requested didn’t go against any of Her Majesty’s direct orders.  

Sam returned to her desk, finally hopeful that everything would turn out alright in the end. 

That’s when she got her reality check. 

Jess knocked on her door mid-afternoon to inform the chief of the staff that Her Majesty had skipped lunch yet again and had filled her schedule with back-to-back meetings until late that night. Jess then mentioned in a quiet, uncomfortable murmur (which revealed just how serious the situation was if Jess was willing to go behind Her Majesty’s back to share this information) that the Queen seemed out of sorts. Presumably the exhaustion was catching up to her but Jess had also noted that she had caught the Queen wincing every now and again as if in pain. Jess feared that the Queen was coming down with something and blindly refusing to acknowledge it.

Sam’s patience shattered violently in that moment, having been pushed too far over the past three weeks. She shot to her feet and stormed past Jess, through the offices (piquing most people’s interest) and barged belligerently into Lena’s office only pausing to forcefully close the door behind her.

“We need to talk.” Sam announced to her best friend who barely reacted to the unexpected arrival, keeping her gaze fixed on the computer screen.

“Yes, we do.” Lena acquiesced with her now commonplace brusque, business tone. “I’ve heard Duke Edge is stirring up the usual problems and the Prime Minister is struggling to gain support for his new smoking ban bill.” Sam’s jaw dropped open at Lena’s failure to even glance in her direction. “We need to put some time in to strategize on both these issues, but I can’t right now as I have a meeting with the Minister of Education at Parliament.” Lena continued to tap away at her computer, assuming that Sam would take the dismissal without complaint. 

“Oh my god! Just Stop!” Sam shouted, striding determinedly across the room until she was stood right in front of Lena’s desk, impossible to ignore.

Lena’s eyes snapped up to Sam, her expression no longer that excruciating hollow composed one that Sam loathed, now it was a swirl of shock and affrontement. “Excuse me?” 

“Stop this meaningless  _ crap _ !” Sam demanded, committing herself to taking a stand right here, right now. Damn the consequences. “Stop avoiding the  _ real  _ problem here!”

“The real problem?” Lena repeated sounding personally offended that Duke Edge stirring ‘his usual bullshit’ (as the angry side of Sam always called it in her head) wasn’t a  _ real  _ problem.

“Yes the real problem. You being heartbroken and dealing with it by overworking yourself!” Sam declared, reaching out to lift up an intimidatingly large stack of reports and documents on the desk as visible evidence. “You’ve been going non-stop for the last month and it is taking its toll.” She unceremoniously dropped the meaningless stack of paper to one side removing another barrier between herself the Queen, leaving Lena less to hide behind. “I can see how exhausted you are from a mile away.”

It was true, the weariness was apparent in Lena’s slow movements, in the dark circles under her eyes that a thick layer of make-up failed to hide, the way it took her normally piercing green eyes longer to focus and the way her Queen persona was no longer fuelled enough to hide the pain below the surface.

“I have responsibilities to my people.” Lena bit back tersely, her go to answer whenever Sam tried to push her into making her duties secondary.

“You have responsibilities to yourself as well.” Sam shot back through gritted teeth.

“Those are secondary.” The simple statement was said neutrally and with utter disinterest. The dismissiveness conveyed in those three words about the well-being of Sam’s best friend by this hollow shell was the final straw that broke the camel’s back.

The argument that they had been having for years. 

The argument they’d been having since Sam had to patch up Lena’s gunshot wound and try futilely to force her to take time to recover had reached its zenith.

“They shouldn’t be!” Sam screamed, sick of biting her tongue, sick of following archaic rules and expectations, sick of watching her best friend suffer. Lena’s face went utterly slack with shock, and she was rendered mute by Sam’s outburst. “God damnit, Lena!” Sam continued “If you won’t look after yourself for you, do it for me.” She pleaded, “For Ruby. For Lucy. For Jess, J’onn, Dunn and Kosta. Your people.” Sam’s volume receded back from its high volume as she focused on emphasising her next words as much as possible. “Everyone wants you healthy… and happy. Right now, you’re neither.”

Lena’s shocked expression had steadily vanished as Sam had spoken to be replaced by something blank and empty. “Are you quite done?” She demanded, enunciating each syllable to give it her usual level of authority.

“No, not even a little!” Sam returned to yelling, riled up even further when it was obvious that Lena had sunk comfortably back into the Queen’s composed persona. “I’ve spent the last three weeks trying desperately to get you to open up. To give you support and help. Every time you just bat me away like my concerns are completely unfounded.” 

Sam leaned over the desk, supporting her body by resting her clenched fists on the wooden surface, desperate to get her best friend back. 

“I love you, you idiot!” Lena flinched momentarily at that, her lips pursing and a flicker of light appearing in her green eyes. Sam rushed to seize the opportunity of the crack in Lena’s armour. “You’re my best friend, practically my sister and my daughter adores you. You are loved more than you can even fathom. I just want to help you but I can’t because you refuse to acknowledge that there’s anything wrong. You refuse to admit that you are heartbroken.” Sam hesitated for a fraction of second, knowing the one thing that would break through to Lena but fearing the consequences of doing so. “That letting  _ Kara _ go wasn’t the single hardest thing you’ve ever done.”

“Don’t say her name.” Lena ordered harshly, the simmering anger and hurt rising up victoriously to the surface after being held back for weeks, as she surged to her feet to match Sam, her killer heels putting them at the same height.

“Finally! Some goddamn emotion!” Sam cheered in mocking relief, clapping her hands together sarcastically.

Lena’s once blank, cool expression was now twisted into a cruel scowl and vicious glare directed solely at her chief of staff, “Then you got what you wanted. Now leave.” She pointed imperiously to the door.

“I haven’t.” Sam denied, shaking her head violently from left to right. “Not even close. And neither have you…” Sam exhaled sharply at her own words, the tension draining out of her as she looked at her best friend who had sacrificed so much for others. 

The righteous fury disappearing to be replaced with something softer and filled with sympathy. 

“Not for many years… perhaps not ever.” Sam muttered just as much to herself as to Lena, who blinked in surprise at the sudden shift in Sam’s attitude, her arm dropping heavily back to her side. “I want you to be happy, Lena.” Sam said earnestly, because that was the heart of it, that was all that mattered.

Lena studied Sam closely, reflecting on everything Sam had said (or yelled) so far. “And how do you suppose I do that?”

“Fight for her, Lena.” Sam declared without preamble. 

Lena’s jaw tensed as her gaze dropped downwards.

For what felt like an eternity, Sam watched as Lena fought bitterly to hold onto whatever restraint was still trying to maintain control.

BANG!

Lena’s fists hit the top of her desk with a terrifying degree of force causing Sam to flinch and instinctively step backwards. 

“I am so…” Lena whispered furiously, “... _ sick _ of fighting!” 

Lena lifted her head allowing, Sam to glimpse the broken, almost manic expression on Lena’s face. 

“It’s all I’ve been doing for the last ten years! Endlessly fighting!” Lena shouted as pushed herself away from the desk in favour of pacing, her purposeful steps perfectly in time with her words. “And what’s worse is that, it’s not just me that’s had to do the fighting! I love this country, I love my home and my people. And they have been fighting just as long as I have. It wouldn’t be fair…” Lena stopped suddenly to enforce her own speech to herself, “nor would it be right… to start another fight for purely selfish reasons. Because that’s what it would be.” Lena whirled around, her green eyes desperately blinking back tears as she met Sam’s equally misty ones. “They’d never accept a foreigner ruling their home by my side. It would cause upheaval. And finally…” 

Lena moved round the desk and reached out for Sam’s hand. 

“Finally… we are stable…”, Lena squeezed Sam’s hand, desperate to convince her that this point was worth it, worth the pain, worth everything. “We are at peace. I can’t take that away. But most importantly…”, Lena swallowed thickly, “I won’t bring Kara into that. She doesn’t deserve the pain that it would take for us to be together.”

“Lena…”, Sam whispered soothingly, tears threatening to fall as Lena offered  _ her  _ comfort as she explained why she was choosing to stay heartbroken.

Lena stepped back and breathed in deeply, steadily re-gaining control of her emotions. Lena vanished, the tears cleared away and the Queen took over. “Now, please don’t ever bring this up again. Never bring  _ her _ up again.”

“But-” Sam began to object.

“That’s an order from your Queen.” Lena cut in, lifting her chin and clasping her hands in front of herself. 

Their conversation was now formally and forever over.

Lena had used the Queen card and Sam couldn’t fight back anymore.

“Le-...”, Sam started, abruptly stopping when Lena arched an eyebrow. “Your Majesty…”, Sam corrected, hating how those two words summed up her failure better than any others.

“I’m running late for my meeting,” Lena switched back to her usual business-like attitude like nothing had happened as she returned to the other side of her desk to pack up the items she would require, “we will pick up on the smoking ban first thing tomorrow.”

Sam stood there motionless for a long time after Lena had departed feeling lost and helpless in a way she hadn’t felt in years. It was with great effort that she found the strength to return to her desk, ignoring the curious stares directed her way by the other staffers. 

Sam decided to take a leaf out of Lena’s book and attempted to bury herself in work for the next couple of hours. This though proved fruitless as she was still reeling from her argument with Lena and dreading the arrival of her  daughter who would be able to tell from just her mopey demeanour that something had happened. Ruby wouldn’t stop until she knew exactly what and Sam would be forced to tell her that she wouldn’t be able to keep the promise she had made to her only yesterday.

The phone rang with only an hour of work left to go and she answered it, like she had all the others since speaking to Lena, distractedly. That’s why it took Sam that little bit longer than it should have to absorb what she was being told.

“Yes?... I’m sorry… repeat that… What’s wrong with Her Majesty?”


	23. Sweet Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never thought of myself as a cruel person... until I wrote the opening of this chapter and then left it on another cliffhanger...
> 
> I've chosen to embrace my darkness *evil laugh*
> 
> Enjoy! :)

Kara stretched out sleepily in bed, her hand reaching out, instinctively for the spot next to her, seeking out the warmth of the other body that she always curled herself around at night. The mattress was still warm but disappointingly empty. Kara groaned, pulling back the duvet and squinting against the bright sun that still managed to stream in through the heavy curtains. She contemplated curling back up in bed and sleeping through the early part of the morning, but the desire to seek out her wife was far too tempting an alternative.

Kara rolled out of bed, pulling on the familiar Skylark hoodie that forever smelt of lavender and souffles, and provided warmth and comfort despite having worn out significantly over the last few years. She shuffled out of the bedroom and took the stairs down to the kitchen eagerly, catching the enticing aroma of freshly made waffles and the sound of music being played. Kara pushed open the door as quietly as she could not wanting to disturb her wife who was dancing and humming happily around as she laid out plates and finished serving up breakfast. Kara sneaked quietly forward on tiptoes, wrapping her arms tightly around Lena’s waist from behind the second she was close enough to do so.

“Good morning.” Kara breathed out into Lena’s ear before placing a kiss just below it.

“Mmm… good morning, my love.” Lena replied, turning her head to capture Kara’s lips in a more substantial kiss.

“Eww… Mummies, no!” A little girl’s voice cried out from across the room. “No kissin’! Brekfust, first!”

Lena pulled away from Kara with a roll of her eyes and a small, satisfied smile on her face as she turned to face the pouting dark-haired little girl with bright blue eyes sat at the table on a booster seat..

“Breakfast, sweetie.” Lena corrected easily, squeezing Kara’s forearms affectionately as she spoke to their daughter. “It’s coming don’t worry.” Lena then turned back quickly to murmur teasingly in Kara’s ear. “She definitely takes after you with that appetite.”

“I know…” Kara gleefully admitted, relinquishing her hold on her wife, “I’m so proud.” Lena shook her head in exasperation as Kara skipped excitedly over to her young daughter, “Hey, don’t I get a good morning hug, Lillibug?” Kara asked holding open her arms as she rushed to share a cuddle with Lilly. 

“Quick!” Lilly acquiesced, squirming in her seat as if attempting to jump into her mother’s open arms. “Fud soon!”

“Okay.” Kara agreed, lifting Lilly up and pulling her into a tight hug, Lilly’s arms immediately wrapping around Kara’s neck as she tucked her head under Kara’s chin. “Lillibug hug!” Kara singsonged as she twirled carefully around the kitchen table, pulling a joyful squeal of delight from the little girl.

“Alright, alright…”, Lena called out eventually with a hearty chuckle;  Kara slowed her spinning down to a stop in response. “Breakfast is served. Dig in.” Lena declared, causing Lilly to bounce eagerly in Kara’s arms who deposited her back in her usual seat at the head of the table before slipping into the seat adjacent to Lilly and opposite Lena. Lena without hesitation began cutting up Lilly’s breakfast into more suitable chunks, allowing Lilly to inhale her food at a rate only Kara could match.

Kara lifted her knife and fork in readiness to begin eating but paused to take in the sight of her little family. Lena, dressed in her grey sweatpants, big baggy jumper and fuzzy socks, hair wild and rather untamed, was rubbing her foot comfortingly against Kara’s calf purely because she loved always being in contact with Kara whenever she could. Lilly, dressed in her Stitch onesie, was bobbing her head completely out of rhythm to the song playing in the background. The little girl had her constant big, cheesy grin on her face that only came with a child who knew they were loved and cherished.

 “Kara, are you okay?” Lena asked softly, her hand reaching out to stroke Kara’s hovering one that still held her cutlery aloft. Her green eyes shined with the same concern that they had on the first day they met all those years ago. “You haven’t touched your food.”

“I’m just…” Kara paused, allowing the joy bubbling up inside her to escape and light up her features, “enjoying this moment. I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy before.” Kara admitted, putting down her fork to interlace her fingers with Lena’s, glancing quickly down to appreciate the sight of her mother’s engagement ring on Lena’s hand.

“Me too.” Lena whispered earnestly, her smile positively radiant.

“Me free!” Lilly squealed through a mouth full of food. 

Kara let out a full-bodied laugh as she used her free hand to brush her daughter’s dark hair fondly. 

Kara’s heart felt whole and bursting with joy. 

She wouldn’t trade mornings like this for anything in the world

“KARA! OPEN UP!”

The loud yell and repetitive thumping sound caused Kara to flinch, her hands disconnecting from her family in a flash. Darkness seeped in on the edges of her vision. Lilly became hazy and her features indistinct. Lena’s mouth was moving as if she was speaking but Kara couldn’t hear a single word. 

Kara blinked and when she opened her eyes she found herself in the darkened living room of her apartment, sprawled out on the couch, still dressed from her night at the bar with her friends. 

“KARA!”

Alex’s loud shout pierced through the fragments of dream clinging onto Kara’s consciousness and brought her fully back to reality. Kara pushed herself up and off the cushions, wrapping the grey blanket she had fallen asleep under tighter her around her body as she staggered towards her front door. 

“Wh-... huh?” Kara mumbled incoherently in question upon pulling open the door only for her sister to immediately push past her and storm inside with a determined glare fixed on her face. “Alex? What’s going on?” Kara asked in confusion, stumbling to one side due to Alex’s quick entrance.

“It’s time for an intervention.” Alex declared, proceeding towards the kitchen without sparing her sister a backward glance.

“An inter-?!” Kara spluttered in shock, shutting the door quickly in fear that Alex had recruited supporters who were planning to arrive any second now. “It’s past midnight, Alex-”

“Good, you’re not busy then.” Alex brusquely interrupted as she began to open Kara’s kitchen cupboards with an obvious goal. “No work, no socials.” Alex paused to flash Kara a far too knowing expression.  “Why don’t you go sit on the sofa?” Alex suggested with a wave of her hand. “That’s our safespace, right?”

Kara bit her bottom lip, trying desperately to work out what Alex was planning, still holding on to the futile hope that Alex hadn’t worked out as much as she seemed to have. “Alex, I don’t understand.” Kara muttered quietly, hovering halfway between the kitchen and the living room, the overly large blanket draped over her shoulders making her look so small and young. 

Alex let out a heavy sigh and shook her head as she looked over at Kara with an anguished expression which made Kara want to curl up and hide from the world because she knew that she was the reason for it. 

“Neither do I really,” Alex admitted, “especially since I only realised the truth a couple of hours ago.” Kara hung her head, and shuffled over to the sofa, sitting down stiffly as she kept her eyes fixed to the floor. “What do you want to drink?” Alex called out, her tone returned to the brash business-like one from earlier. “I feel like we should either have alcohol or hot chocolate…” Kara glanced up to see Alex thoughtfully examining a bottle of vodka and hot chocolate mix, “Which would you prefer?” Alex eventually asked shaking the two options at Kara, “This is your intervention after all.”

“Uhh… hot chocolate.” Kara said, and she winced upon hearing how her voice already had a noticeable crack to it, Alex kindly didn’t react and set to work making their drinks. For the next minute, the only sound in the apartment was that of Alex acting as hostess in Kara’s own apartment.  

“What truth?” Kara didn’t know why she asked Alex that question. It was obvious that she’d been caught but she had spent the last weeks so vehemently denying the truth to herself that she wasn’t ready to let go of the comforting lies without good cause to. 

“That you’re still heartbroken and pretending not to be.” Alex bluntly replied.

“Pfft… I’m not-”

“I saw you.” Alex cut in, her brown eyes blazing with fury and pain. “I saw you, Kara.” She repeated, trying to regain control of the swirl of emotions inside of her and make it clear that Kara couldn’t hide anymore. Not from her. “I saw the look on your face at the bar earlier. You’ve been lying to me.”

“I have not been lying to-” Kara responded defensively at the accusation.

“Yes, you have!” Alex yelled, throwing her hands up in air in exasperation. “Every time I asked if you were okay, and you said ‘yes, I’m fine’, or ‘I’m good’ or ‘better than ever’.” Alex bitterly mocked the meaningless phrases that Kara had thrown at her every day for the last three weeks causing Kara to flinch, “That was  _ you _ lying to  _ me _ .”

“I am fine.” Kara growled, clinging with everything she had to the three words she had been repeating to herself every day, every hour since leaving Lena. 

“No you’re not.” Alex shot back furiously, “You’re just trying damn hard to look like it!” 

Kara deflated, the lies and the facade cracking and falling away under Alex’s fire and assertions.

Alex was Kara’s touchstone. Her guide when she was lost. The sure north of her compass. 

Kara had been able to fool herself purely because she’d been able to fool Alex. Kara could only hide from Alex for so long and by extension herself.

As the repeated utterances of ‘I am fine’ melted away, Kara was almost overwhelmed by the emptiness in her chest and the numbness to all other feelings. Just as it was all about to become too much, tears were gathering in earnest ready to be unleashed, a steaming mug topped with whipped cream and marshmallows appeared in front of her.

And just like that the loneliness that was invading her very being retreated and she accepted the offering with a thankful smile as her sister, who would never allow her to feel alone, settled down next to her.

Alex wrapped an arm around Kara’s shoulder and tucked her sister into her side. She stayed quiet as Kara took a couple of warming sips of the sweet, chocolatey liquid before whispering, “I should have known… I should have seen it…”, Alex swallowed thickly as she earnestly apologised for something she was not to blame, “I am so sorry.”

Kara’s eyes widened in shock, she rapidly deposited her drink on the coffee table so she could freely whirl around and protest everything her sister had said, “Alex-” 

“I let you down.” Alex continued despondently, her eyes shining with moisture, “I thought… I thought you were doing better. That you had bounced back like you always do…”

Kara trembled at the sight of her sister so distraught over thinking she had somehow managed to fail her, “You’ve never let me down.” Kara affirmed, putting as much conviction as she could into her words as possible. “Not once.”

“I wasn’t there for you.” Alex breathed out brokenly.

“I didn’t want you to be…” Kara confessed, grabbing Alex’s hands with her own and squeezing them tightly. “I wanted to deal with this on my own. And…” Kara hung her head in shame, “I thought I had a handle on it…”

It was the sight of her sister being open and vulnerable, her taking the first step that invited Kara to do the same. Alex wasn’t pretending to be strong, setting the precedent for Kara to feel safe enough to follow in her footsteps.

And just like that… Kara was finally honest with her sister and herself.

“As long as I just didn’t stop…” Kara explained, thankful for Alex’s always patient and understanding, “as long as I kept busy and didn’t think about…” 

The name wouldn’t come. It faltered on her tongue and stayed resolutely inside. 

Saying Lena’s name aloud, even after all this time, would cut too deep.

“Her?” Alex prompted kindly.

“Yeah…” Kara’s brow furrowed as everything she thought she had pushed down and hidden inside of herself came to the forefront. “What could have been…”, She muttered, seeing a flash of that wonderful dream for just an instant, “What I really wanted…”

“Kara.” Alex coaxed, reaching out to pull Kara into a tight hug, “I’m here for you.” Alex reminded her softly, planting a quick kiss on the top of her head. “Talk to me and let’s figure this out together... like we always do.”

A weight that Kara hadn’t been fully aware of lifted off Kara’s shoulders and suddenly it was easier to voice everything she had bottled up inside of her. “Nights are the worst. I’ve never hated and loved going to sleep so much.”

“Are you having nightmares again?” Alex inquired, rubbing Kara’s back reassuringly, fearing that the nightmares after her parents death had begun to recur.

“No…” Kara said with a shake of her head, “The opposite. I see her in my dreams…”, Kara’s eyes slipped closed involuntarily and she thought back over the warm fantasies that had filled her nights since parting with Lena. “We’re together and we’re… happy.”

“Yeah?” Alex murmured and Kara slowly opened her eyes to see the sad smile playing on her sister’s lips. 

“Sometimes I get to show her my favourite places here in Metropolis,” Kara revealed as Alex listened attentively, happy to simply take in the warm glow in her Kara’s blue eyes that she hadn’t realised had been absent for the last few weeks, “or I’m introducing you and Eliza to her. Most of the time, we’re back in Theonia. Just being together, like we used to do on the evenings. In my favourite ones though…” Kara hesitated for a second and she quirked her glasses before adding tentatively, “we’re married.”

“Really?”

Kara nodded shyly, “We have kids… sometimes a few, sometimes just one.”

Alex’s smile widened and her eyes shone with joy at the image Kara had crafted for herself, “Wow, sounds nice.”

“We’re just really happy.” Kara sighed wistfully before shrugging hopelessly, “But then… I wake up and…”

“Reality doesn’t compare.” Alex supplied, instinctively pulling Kara closer to herself as if to physically shield her from emotional pain.

“How can it without her?” Kara asserted sincerely, not expecting an answer. 

“Oh, Kara.” Alex soothed, “I’m sorry you have to go through this.”

“Is this what it was like with Maggie?”

“Honestly….”, Alex puffed out a breath and pondered her answer for a long time before admitting, “No. It hurt but… I was always thinking about the past. About our time together and how happy we used to be. We broke up and I didn’t see her in my future. I knew that she didn’t want the same things as me so…” Alex pursed her lips and frowned, “I couldn’t imagine a future where we were both happy.” Alex straightened up, positioning Kara so she could look her dead in the eye as she said, “I had to let go of the past, you’ve got the far harder task of letting go of the future.”

“What do I do now?” Kara asked plainly, shaken by the task set before her.

“Well…” Alex began, the trepidation obvious as she suggested whatever it was that she had come to Kara’s apartment with the aim of getting her to do in the first place, “how about visiting Mum?”

“Huh?” 

Alex grumbled her answer, “I phoned Mum - she’s very disappointed that you haven’t been honest with her in your recent calls by the way.”

“You tattled on me?” Kara squawked in outrage, “What happened to snitches get stitches?”

“Eh…” Alex dismissed the reminder of the threat she had given her sister when Kara had caught her smoking weed one thanksgiving day, with a light wave of her hand. “I’m a big sister the rules don’t apply to me.” Kara gave out an indignant huff as Alex continued without a second thought to her betrayal. “Anyway, she suggested getting away for awhile might do you some good. Clear your head and all that. And you know Mum gives really good advice, she’ll probably be able to help.”

“Now’s not really a good time with work…”, Kara weakly protested, though the idea did sound like a good one. She hadn’t seen her adoptive mother since Eliza had left to work with Medecins Sans Frontieres and Kara had been missing the calming presence of the older woman in her life. She’d always been good at keeping both her and Alex grounded, and Kara could really do with that right now. Especially when her dreams were begging her to fall into a fantasy world. 

“Isn’t it?” Alex prompted, picking up on Kara’s only minor resistance, “You’ve just finished all your Theonia coverage. Going away will give you a clean break from your old assignments so that when you come back you can easily step into whatever new role you’ve decided at work. It’s probably perfect timing.”

“Maybe…” Kara admitted after a moment’s reflection.

“Just think about it.” Alex requested gently.

“Will do.” Kara promised in return and Alex kissed Kara’s forehead gratefully in response.

The two of them stayed cuddled together for the next hour, they put on an innocuous sitcom in the background and Kara murmured a few more details here and there of her dreams. Alex just listened, being kind enough not to press her further on the decision to visit Eliza, though she did offer to go with her if she wanted company.

“Do you want me to stay here tonight?” Alex asked, after the credits had rolled and the hot chocolate was all gone.

“No, I’ll be alright.” Kara assured, knowing her sister always slept better in her own bed than in Kara’s when she was working a weekend shift like she was tomorrow, technically today. 

Alex pursed her lips as she scrutinised her little sister closely, trying to detect if Kara was lying again. 

“I’m not lying… this time.” Kara reassured with a slight wince, knowing it would probably be a sore spot between them for a little while until they had a chance to get back to themselves fully. 

“Okay.” Alex relented, getting up, her joints cracking loudly in the quiet apartment. “You know where I am if you need me.” 

“You’re always there if I need you.” Kara reminded her with a soft smile, also standing up to pull her sister into a tight, farewell hug.

“Exactly.” Alex grinned, “Love you.”

“Love you, too.” Kara repeated back.

Once Alex had safely departed for her own home, Kara busied herself with turning the lights and television off, washing up hers and Alex’s mugs and getting changed into her pyjamas before crawling into bed. She plugged her phone onto charge by her bedside and rejoiced briefly that since it was the weekend she wouldn’t be awoken by a blaring alarm.  

She curled up under the duvet and turned herself so she was facing away from the empty side of her bed that she knew her mind would automatically provide an image of green eyes and a one-dimpled smile to fill. Sleep snuck up on her in the darkened bedroom and dragged her willingly back to Theonia. 

Back to Lena.

This time Kara was in the Palace gardens comfortably sat on Peaches who had become her go-to horse over the last couple of years, ever since Lena had given her enough lessons in horse-riding to feel comfortable entrusting Kara to a horse other than Loki. Lena had subsequently reclaimed Loki as her main companion for her weekly rides with her wife to their little lakeside sanctuary. 

Today, however, they were staying within the main Palace gardens. 

Kara patted the side of Peaches neck to soothe the horse’s disquiet about being kept idle for even a short period of time. Peaches settled immediately at Kara’s touch allowing Kara to return to freely enjoying the sight of her wife and son astride Loki. Lena was urging the big black horse, who needed little prompting to be careful with his precious cargo, to trot back and forth sedately under the canopy of trees as the small blonde haired boy with bright green eyes laughed rapturously at the horse’s movement.

Lena flashed Kara a blinding smile as little Alexander clapped vigorously and cheered at Loki’s every stride.

Kara returned the smile tenfold, bathing in the warmth of the sun and the sheer joy of her perfect little family.  

_ Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt! _

The earth shattering sound ripped through the stillness causing a cascade of red, gold and brown leaves to fall from the trees above in an endless wave obscuring Kara’s view of Lena and Alexander. 

_ Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt! _

The leaves continued to fall as the sound shockwaved around the area. Kara yelled desperately for her wife and son, failing to hear even a murmur of their voices in return over the chaos.

_ Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt! _

Kara batted the debris away to no avail as she tried to urge Peaches forward only to find that she was now standing on her own two feet. She stared down in confusion, trying her hardest to make sense of the jumbled, incoherent sequence of events. 

_ Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt! _

The repeated sound added clarity and Kara lifted her head back up, determined to stride forward to find her wife and child, only to flinch forcibly at the sight of a thick branch hurtling directly towards her face.

Kara’s hands automatically flew up to protect herself at the same time her eyes slipped shut.

Kara jolted upright in her darkened bedroom, her heart rate near critical and her breath coming out hard and fast.

_ Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt! _

Kara groggily searched for the source of the sound, her eyes landing on her lit up phone vibrating violently on her bedside table. With shaky hands, Kara picked up the phone letting out a groan at the four am time shining cruelly at her before her brow furrowed at the ‘Blocked Number’ illuminating the screen.

Kara tentatively accepted the call, readying herself in the background to unleash her best Alex impression if her sleep was disturbed by a cold caller. “Uh… hello?”

“Kara? Is that you?” A female voice inquired sharply.

Kara yanked the phone away from her ear as if it had burnt her upon recognising the voice on the other side of the call. 

She swallowed heavily, her throat clogging up with questions as the shock began to abate, she hurriedly returned the phone to her ear, “Sam? What’s going on? Is everything alright?”

“No.” Sam answered simply, plaintively ignoring the first two questions in favour of the one that really mattered. 

Kara held her breath, her entire body tensing as she felt adrenaline begin to surge through her veins in response to the sharp, disgustingly cold dread which was consuming her body and soul.

“Lena’s in the hospital.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before people panic, I just thought I would reiterate that this is a fluffy story. Nothing bad is going to happen. Oddly enough, next chapter is a really happy one and is hopefully funny in some places. 
> 
> :) xxx


	24. Chief of Meddling

Kara remembered her parents telling her ‘stick and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me’ when she was still naive enough to believe that such platitudes could be true. She learnt the hard way how much of a lie that singsong phrase really was.

Admittedly, the phrase helped her somewhat with the words bullies would throw at her until Alex taught her how to be strong and rise above the derogatory statements designed to pull her down. 

See... it wasn’t insults or attempts at blatant verbal cruelty by her peers which had Kara believing that words could hurt far worse than any physical pain. It was factual statements and conciliatory remarks that had the power to inflict the greatest amount of damage.

_ ‘I’m sorry, but your parents didn't make it.’ _

_ ‘Jeremiah was in an accident on his way home…’ _

_ ‘I can’t give you a fairytale.’ _

_ ‘Just hold me.’ _

_ ‘Lena’s in the hospital.’ _

Kara didn’t remember much of what happened next. One moment she was on the phone with Sam, the next she was stood at the edge of a private airstrip, a hastily packed bag flung over her shoulder. She had arrived just before dawn to find two US soldiers awaiting her, they checked her passport and luggage before leading her to a small waiting room in one of the handful of buildings dotted around the area.

Kara’s leg bounced up and down nervously as she tried to keep herself breathing normally, her brain desperately trying to replay her conversation with Sam for any missed detail that would give her insight into how Lena was doing. Sam had said she couldn’t go into details over the phone and Kara had been near breaking point when Sam offered to fly her over to Theonia. Five minutes of frantic packing, a texted address and a taxi ride later (the driver probably feeling like he had just played a small part in a major conspiracy due to the guarded airstrip he dropped her off at), and here she was. 

Kara was in such a jittery spiral of terrified thoughts and potential outcomes that she didn’t notice the sleek, black private jet land until the US soldiers came to get her. If Kara hadn’t been so focused on Lena and getting to see her, she would have appreciated the elegance of the plane’s design and the innovative technology of embedded solar panels on the wings.

Kara was greeted by a flight attendant dressed in a uniform somewhat similar to what the Theonian Palace staff would wear, consisting of dark trousers, shiny shoes, white shirt and lilac waistcoat. He politely greeted her and took her suitcase before directing her inside the plane without delay which Kara appreciated. The inside consisted of high quality leather seats, a flat screen television and a fully stocked drinks cabinet and fridge. The attendant offered her food and drink; Kara declined the food, her stomach too unsettled to eat, and accepted the water with an appreciative nod and thanks.

She was told the flight would only take five hours which would have peeked Kara’s scientific curiosity as that was far quicker than any commercial plane would be able to accomplish but all Kara could think was that it still wasn’t fast enough. Teleportation wouldn’t be fast enough. Even a second delay in seeing Lena was already too much.

The plane took off so smoothly, Kara didn’t even notice they were in the air until she glanced out the window and saw the lights of Metropolis disappearing from sight below. The attendant highlighted a door at the back of a plane which he said led to a bedroom if she wanted to sleep through the journey then proceeded to disappear through a door at the front of the plane, giving Kara space to contemplate. 

The flight was torturously long.

Kara intermittently paced and tapped at absolutely nothing on her phone as the miles whizzed past; the plane was running from the warmth of the sun, prolonging the night. She contemplated sleeping for a short while but even if she wasn’t functioning on a seemingly endless stream of adrenaline, she didn’t think she would be strong enough to face the pleasant dreams waiting for her.

In just under five hours, the attendant reappeared telling her that they were coming into land. Kara promptly buckled up and stared forlornly out the window comparing this landing with her first one to Theonia. The first time she had been entranced by the ceaseless green laid out below her; now, however, in the darkness the widespread forests looked pitch black and looming. She wouldn’t have even known there was a country down there if it wasn’t for the odd flicker of light from the occasional small town below. 

The jet landed with barely a shudder and Kara was bounding down the stairs onto the runway as soon as the attendant had lowered them down for her. 

A black 4x4 monster with tinted windows was idling nearby with two very familiar figures standing beside it.

Captain Dunn was lingering close to the driver’s door, his face carefully blank and his posture stiff as if on high alert. In front of the old soldier and waving in greeting to Kara was Sam, dressed in her usual smart work attire but looking far more fatigued than the last time Kara had seen her.

“Sam!” Kara called out as she sprinted forward, her stomach in knots wanting desperately to know what had happened to Lena but dreading the answer.

Sam pulled Kara into a quick hug the second she was closest enough to do so. Kara sank into the woman’s arms willingly, thankful for the comfort and support after five hours of frayed nerves. Sam pulled away and jerked her head towards the car which Dunn had already started the engine of, “Get in, Kara. We’ll talk on the ride over.” 

Kara ran around and dived into the backseat of the car, which was partitioned from the front seats where Dunn was by a black sliding panel. A couple of seconds later Sam was sliding in next to her far more elegantly than Kara could ever dream of being.

“Just please tell me she’s okay.” Kara begged, her eyes stinging with the tears she had been biting back with all her strength for the last few hours. 

“Um… yeah… so… uh…” Sam coughed out awkwardly, trying to look anywhere but at Kara, “She’s fine.”

Everything inside of Kara came to a grinding halt in an instant.

“I’m sorry…” Kara began slowly, trying to kick start her power of speech and ability to think rationally, “What?! She’s fine?!” Kara spluttered, half of her rejoicing at the news, the other half utterly outraged.

“Yep.” Sam winced uncomfortably, blushing a deep red with embarrassment. “Emergency appendectomy. She’s been out of surgery for the last few hours.” Sam explained, pausing thoughtfully to reflect before adding, “Though, considering her level of exhaustion the doctor wouldn't be surprised if she slept through to tomorrow afternoon.”

Kara’s jaw moved up and down but only garbled incoherent sounds came out for a long time as she worked to make sense of everything that had happened and what she had just been told. “App- Appendectomy.” She finally stuttered out, “But you- you made it seem like something awful had happened!” Kara shouted finally finding her voice and settling on the most easily accessible emotion.

Anger. (Alex would be so proud). 

“Yeah…” Sam muttered slowly, the regret obvious in the way she squirmed and fidgeted in her seat, “I know, I’m sorry about that.” Sam apologised sincerely, reaching out to place a hand on Kara’s forearm as she met her eyes with a beseeching, puppy dog gaze. “Genuinely sorry. But, Kara…”, Sam hesitated, gnawing her bottom lip as she took great care to emphasise her next words, “what you need to realise is… I’m a meddler.” 

Sam’s declaration was accompanied by her throwing her hands up in open surrender and a sigh of acceptance as if a heavy weight had been lifted off her shoulders by voicing her deep, dark confession. 

The anger that had risen to take control of Kara dissolved away when faced with the complete loss of self-assuredness that Kara had once thought was a hallmark of Sam’s character. 

“It’s a serious problem.” Sam rambled at what would be considered a level 3 ramble on Alex’s ‘Kara Ramble Scale’. “Probably made worse by my job - which there’s a good chance I may not have very soon - and the fact that my stubborn best friend - also something I may not have very soon - is ultra resistant to any attempt to help her or make her happy.”

“Sam. Sam. Sam.” Kara repeated gently, trying to urge Sam to take a deep breath as her face was steadily progressing through more intense shades of red. “Take a breath.” Kara ordered and Sam instantly acquiesced by sucking in air comically fast allowing her to return to a normal complexion as she started to breathe more easily. 

“Sorry about that.” Sam apologised again, Kara patted her shoulder reassuringly having gone through her own verbal diarrhea more times than she cared to admit.

“Now, can you tell me what is going on?” Kara inquired, raising an eyebrow at the other woman who was resting her head heavily against her seat headrest. “And why I’m here?”

Sam pursed her lips and turned her head to look Kara directly in the eye as she stated, “You make Lena happy and she was going to give you up. Do you know how long I’ve watched Lena put others before herself?”

“Since the day you met her?” Kara guessed with a knowing yet disappointed sigh.

“Exactly!” Sam exclaimed, grateful that someone else appreciated her struggle, “And I am sick of it.” She complained bitterly before taking a deep breath and saying quietly and seriously, “Look, I am taking a big risk on you. Huge. I’m gambling everything on the hope that you care about Lena as much as she cares about you.”

“I do.” Kara asserted without having to think about it. 

The heartache for Kara was still as raw as it had been when she had left Lena’s side three weeks ago. Every night she would come home from work and in that hour before bed, when she wasn’t busy or living out a fantasy, she would think about everything she wanted to tell Lena. An anecdote from work, a problem she wanted advice about, a story from her childhood she remembered or an interesting piece of trivia someone had shared with her. 

She cared for Lena far more deeply than she had cared about anyone else before.

And she had given her up.

Walked away without a fight.

Kara had never regretted a single decision in her life more than that one.

And if… just if… Sam was working on a way to undo that mistake?

Kara would willingly do whatever it took. 

“Yeah, I figured.” Sam smiled softly at the determined fire in Kara’s eyes. “You two get literal heart eyes around one another. It’s kind of disturbing.”

Kara blushed at the light teasing, muttering a tentative, “Sorry?”

“What are you apologising for?” Sam chuckled, obviously endeared by Kara’s shyness when it came to her feelings for her best friend. 

“I don’t know, it just felt appropriate after the number of times you’d said it.” Kara shrugged, pushing her glasses up her nose nervously.

“Fair.” Sam agreed, “Anyway…”, Sam shook her head, getting back to the matter at hand, “I got a phone call yesterday and I was distracted at the time so all I heard was that Lena was being taken to the hospital. And for just a couple of seconds... I thought the worst had happened.” 

Kara raised her eyebrows in a sarcastic ‘I can’t imagine what that would feel like’ which had Sam wincing apologetically again. 

“Sorry, again.” Kara rolled her eyes in amusement, letting it go as Sam glanced out the darkened window trying to work out how far from the hospital they were. “You’ve seen it, haven’t you?” Sam asked not looking back at Kara as she did so.

“Seen what?” Kara prompted, her brow furrowed in confusion.

“The bullet wound.” Sam said bluntly, returning to face Kara, her expression carefully blank as she explained, “I was the one who found her. I’d taken Ruby for a walk one morning and came across her… hunched over on Loki… bleeding out...”

The air rushed out of Kara at the stark image, and she forced herself to whisper ‘she survived’ in imitation of Lena’s reassurances from their night together to steady her rocketing heartbeat.

“She didn’t tell me the story behind it.” Kara murmured quietly. 

“She didn’t tell me either.” Sam confessed. “After everything, she deserves to have a happy ever after and I promised Ruby I would do everything in my power to get that for her.” Sam sent Kara a wry smile as she commented, “In truth, I’m more scared of disobeying my daughter than my Queen.” Kara snorted at that and was on the precipice of making a joke in return when a gentle knock on the partition between the backseat and the front seat caused Sam to straighten up and turn serious again. “We’re almost there.” Sam revealed. “I just have one question for you…”

“Yes?”

“Do you want to be with her?” Sam asked directly, scrutinising Kara’s reaction closely, “Because I will do everything in my power to give you both a chance together but there’s no point if this isn’t something you want.”

“I want this. I want her. More than anything.” Kara swallowed thickly, her eyes stinging with tears of joy and loss. 

“Good.” Sam nodded once and reached out to squeeze Kara’s hand comfortingly. The car slowed to a stop and the engine clicked off a couple of seconds later. “Okay, Kara.” Sam began, her confidence and self-assured chief of staff nature returning as she readied herself to get back to work. “I need you to follow me, keep your head down and don’t speak to anyone but me or Captain Dunn.”

Kara nodded fervently in understanding as the door on her side was pulled open, revealing Captain Dunn waiting for her with his kind blue eyes and reassuring stoicism. 

“Miss Danvers.” The Captain murmured in greeting, holding out a hand to help Kara out of the car which she gladly accepted. “It is very good to see you again.”

Kara’s face lit up with a warm smile at the return of her friend, “And you, Captain.”

They were parked up in a cleared out underground car park, royal guards flanked a set of double doors behind which stairs and a lift provided access to the modern hospital thrumming above. Sam took the lead, ushering Kara to follow a few steps behind her with a wave of her hand. Dunn kept pace with Kara, keeping a protective hand hovering behind her back, primed to grab or direct her if any unexpected deviations took place. 

Kara was grateful for the soldier’s closeness and company, he was a familiar face that she now easily associated with safety and protection. 

Sam strode purposefully up the stairs and into the hospital, royal guards standing at attention as they passed, their faces remaining impassive to Sam’s arrival and unusual company. The occasional healthcare worker kept their eyes down respectfully and none of them, thanks to Sam’s direction to stay a few clear steps behind, paid Kara any mind, all presuming that she was merely an aide to Sam.

They arrived in a deserted ward, the guards having obviously cleared out the area due to the Queen’s presence. Captain Dunn stopped following them just inside the ward and Kara felt momentarily untethered without his calming presence. 

The butterflies in her stomach were emerging from their cocoons after three weeks of inactivity and were intent on making up for lost time. Kara’s palms were sweating profusely and her nerves were feeling charged with unreleased potential energy as Sam came to a stop in front of room E-201.

Sam pointed to the door and said helpfully, “In there.”

Kara swallowed, her throat feeling tight, as she tried to remember how to breath, her stomach tying itself in knots as her imagination (as always) depicted the worst possible outcomes of her reunion with Lena.

_ What if Lena wasn’t happy to see her? _

_ What if Sam was wrong and Lena didn’t want anything more to do with her? _

_ What if she had moved on? _

_ What if this might be the single most awkward conversation of her entire life? (And there were already quite a few contenders for that title and Kara didn’t want to add to that list at all - it was already far longer than any average human being’s). _

Whilst those panicked imaginings (which somehow also included Frank acting as witness in the background, for no apparent reason, just to complete the torment) ran wild and unchecked through her mind, another smaller part of her brain flashed up images of Lena over the top of it all.

Lena looking down at Kara sprawled out on the floor when they first met. Her green eyes already shining with kindness and care.

Lena nervously asking if she would come back to the kitchen the next night.

Lena pacing up and down, waiting for Kara to arrive to give her the most sincere apology ever lovingly crafted.

Lena melting in her arms by the side of the lake.

Lena being more concerned about Kara’s mental and emotional well-being after Kara had tried to break her nose than herself.

Lena crying at hurting Kara by not being able to give her everything she wanted.

Lena kissing Kara like she was the greatest treasure on Earth.

The memories overshadowed and eclipsed Kara’s fearful narrative. Doubt receded to barely even a shadow as Kara realised that Lena could never and would never let any of those panicked imaginings take place. 

Lena cared for her and she had proven that time and time again. 

Kara had no reason to be afraid.

Nervous?

Yes. She was about to be reunited with the woman Kara was slowly admitting to herself was the love of her life. 

“Aren’t you coming too?” Kara inquired hopefully upon seeing Sam slowly retreat to seats in a nearby waiting area.

“Uhh…” Sam froze in place, obviously caught out, muttering shyly, “I’m kind of hoping you’ll soften her up a bit so that she doesn’t kill me on sight…”

“Is she likely to do that?” Kara wondered, raising an eyebrow. 

Sam pursed her lips thoughtfully before shrugging helplessly, “Don’t know. This is new territory. I’ve never gone against one of her orders before…” She tapped her chin, her expression becoming mischievous and crafty, living up to her Machiavellian role and behaviour. “Hmmm…. I might bring in Ruby to hide behind as well….”

“You’re going to use your daughter as a shield?” Kara replied with fond exasperation and amusement.

“Duh… that’s why you have kids in the first place, right?” Sam flashed Kara an over the top wink.

Kara laughed, her nerves steadying after the lighthearted joking, she moved towards the door before pausing to turn back to the other woman, “Sam?”

“Yeah?” Sam asked mildly surprised that Kara hadn’t immediately dived in to see Lena. 

Kara studied Sam for a long moment, before stating earnestly, “Lena’s really lucky to have you in her life.”

Sam blinked heavily, her face going slack as a watery smile appeared on her face, “Thanks.” Sam shook her head and chuckled to hide how touched she was by Kara’s assertion, “You couldn’t remind her of that whilst you’re in there, could you?”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Kara promised before taking a deep breath, pushing the door open and stepping inside.

The room was a light yellow, not a sickly shade that made you think of jaundice and other grim conditions, but a warm yellow that brought to mind daffodils and sunflowers. The hospital bed was positioned parallel to the large windows through which the first rays of sunlight from dawn were streaming. Flowers occupied every available surface, a swathe of vibrant colours making the room seem more like a florists than a hospital. Beside the bed was a half-emptied glass of water and the fourth Harry Potter book, in which a leather bookmark peeked out a third of the way through. 

Kara only took in the room’s appearance and pleasantness in passing, her eyes were fixed on the only other person in the room.

Lena was laid out on the bed, propped up by a stack of pillows, her eyes closed and her face directed towards the window, away from Kara. The light huff of breath in and out revealed her deep slumber.

Kara tiptoed closer to the bed and allowed herself a minute to appreciate the sight of the woman that held claim to her heart. It was the first time Kara had seen Lena asleep, during their one night together both of them had battled to stay awake so as not to miss a second with each other. Now Kara was getting a glimpse of what she had missed out on due to the deadline that had been placed upon them, and she regretted not seeing it earlier. 

Lena looked utterly peaceful, her face free from tension and her body relaxed and unburdened. Her dark hair had been swept up to rest on one shoulder, and her hands rested by her sides atop the white bedding. 

Kara’s heart danced in her chest to an elated rhythm, finally feeling whole and unbroken after being reunited with its other half. 

Once the tremble in her limbs had receded, Kara settled into the armchair by the bed, her fingers tentatively reaching out to brush the back of Lena’s still hand. Lena’s skin was as soft and warm as Kara remembered it and her hand greedily curled around Lena’s own, determined not to let go ever again.

Kara spent the better part of the next hour watching over Lena’s slumbering form, eventually leaning forward to rest her head on the edge of the bed and against Lena’s thigh. She didn’t sleep, her body was far too responsive to any sound or movement from Lena after being deprived of her company for so long, but she dozed happily, restoring her low energy levels back to something more reasonable.

It was late morning when Lena truly began to stir; Kara went absolutely still in response, watching in awe as she was finally allowed to see her favourite shade of green again. Lena lifted her head sleepily, blinking with minor irritation at the bright sun which had Kara chuckling lightly. Lena’s head tilted to the side in confusion at the sound and she slowly looked around to find the source. Her eyes, still slightly unfocused and sleep-heavy, found Kara smiling softly up at her from where she was resting her head against Lena’s legs. 

“Hey there.” Kara greeted gently, with a quirked smile.

For a second Lena didn’t react. Her gaze swept over every inch of Kara, taking in every detail that she could like she was committing it to memory. Kara blushed under the scrutiny and regretted not thinking through what she had thrown on all those hours ago. The jeans she was wearing were comfy but not stylish, her dark blue tee was stained at the bottom from a particularly stubborn frappuccino a couple of years ago and and her favourite red jacket, thankfully thrown over the armchair, was perfect for the cold but not suitable to impress the girl of her dreams.

Upon completing her assessment, however, Lena’s face broke out into the brightest grin and her eyes shone with happiness.

“Kara, you’re here.” Lena breathed out in disbelief, her voice slightly raw from sleeping for such a prolonged time.

“I am.” Kara assured, lifting her head to allow her to shuffle herself and her chair forwards.

With the hand that wasn’t tightly clasped by Kara’s, Lena reached out and timidly stroked Kara’s cheek. Instinctively, Kara’s eyes slid shut and she leaned into the light touch. Encouraged by Kara’s reaction, Lena began to trace the lines and contours of Kara’s face delicately. 

“Hmmm….” Lena hummed contentedly as Kara practically purred at the affection. “Good.” Lena murmured, “Come here.” The request was said softly, almost pleadingly and Kara’s eyes slid open to work out what it was Lena was asking for. The tips of Lena’s fingers moved to rest on Kara’s jaw and gently guide her forward. Understanding blossomed and Kara already felt like her feet were lifting off the floor, readying her to take flight. 

Lena kissed her tenderly, her lips tracing Kara’s as lightly as her fingers had done seconds earlier. Kara’s free hand rose up to cup the nape of Lena’s neck, her fingers twisting carefully in Lena’s silky locks. Kara’s thumb stroked the delicate skin of Lena’s neck in a minor plea for their lips to remain joined for a few seconds more, Lena acquiesced by opening her mouth ever so slightly to deepen the kiss.

Kara finally felt the peace and sense of home she had been without since leaving.

This was everything.

She wanted this - Lena - for as long as she was permitted.

Lena pulled away, softening the loss with a quick adorable peck that made Kara giggle sweetly.

“You’re just as beautiful as I remember.” Lena muttered, her green eyes drinking in Kara’s flushed complexion and slightly swollen lips with pride.

“Thanks. You’re pretty stunning too.” Kara replied enjoying the sight of Lena’s coy smirk re-emerging in all its glory.

“Flatterer.” Lena remarked with a flirtatious eyebrow raise which made Kara desperate to return to their previous activity.

“You told me it’s not flattery if it’s true.” Kara decided to tease instead.

Lena pouted petulantly and fluttered her eyelashes dramatically as she whined, “I don’t like it when people use my own words against me, it makes me realise how silly I sound.”

Kara shook her head in amusement, admiring how the childish glare and the lack of her usually sharp outfits made Lena look nothing like the usual Queen attitude she always tried to embody. To help ease away the pout, Kara leaned forward to reclaim Lena’s lips in a soothing kiss to smooth out the edges. “Are you feeling okay?” Kara asked, appreciating the dreamy expression her kiss left on Lena’s face.

“No, not okay…” Lena rejected, her expression turning serious causing Kara’s heart to stop and a panicked swirl of thoughts to take over. Just as Kara was in the process of contemplating if her soon-to-be-required escape would be quicker if she went through the window than the door, Lena added earnestly, “Happy. Blissfully happy”

“Yeah?” Kara checked, thankful that since both her hands were occupied Lena didn’t pick up on the fearful tremble running through them. A one-dimpled smile and a fervent nod was all the reassurance Kara needed to lean forward and rest her forehead against Lena’s, brushing their noses together. Kara took a sweet moment for herself to simply be close enough to Lena to smell that light fragrance of lavender which Kara would forever associate with the raven-haired woman. 

When they separated this time, they put a little space between themselves to allow them to talk more easily and comfortably. Out of the corner of her eye, Kara saw a flash of colour that wasn’t related to the seemingly endless array of flower bouquets, she glanced over to see what had caught her attention, lighting up when she recognised a familiar book. “You’re onto the fourth one?” Kara squealed in delight at the progress Lena had made.

“Mmhmm…” Lena nodded, her gaze never leaving Kara for a second, “though I liked it best when you read it to me.”

“Really?” Kara asked in surprise, she’d never been a particularly good public speaker and regularly struggled to get a good rhythm to the words when reading aloud.

“My favourite book read to me by my favourite person... how is that not the best thing in the world?” Lena queried with a furrowed brow as if genuinely perplexed that this was not a well-known thing.

“Favourite person?” Kara repeated, her chest puffing out at the title bestowed upon her, “Is a Queen allowed favourites?”

“No.” Lena replied sadly before adding in a whisper, “But Lena is. And I choose you.”

Kara’s breath caught in her throat at the sincerity and meaning behind that single statement. 

Lena meant it. 

Lena would choose  _ her _ . 

This incredible, breath-taking woman would choose  _ her _ . 

Kara Danvers, clumsy mess with the ability to act as a magnet for any and all awkward social interactions. 

“You’re my favourite too.” Kara whispered in reply because it was the truth and Lena deserved to hear it.

Lena smiled brightly in return, settling back on the pillows as Kara played with her fingers. “This is the most real one yet...”, Lena admitted with a heavy sigh.

Kara’s brow furrowed and she looked up at Lena sharply in utter confusion. “Real what?”

“Dream.” Lena answered her smile turning wane and sad, “I don’t want this one to end.”

Kara’s jaw dropped as her brain desperately tried to fathom how to respond to this plot twist when her entire body was probably overdue a system reboot.

There were many things to unpack from Lena’s revelation.

The biggest being how would Lena actually react when she realised that Kara’s presence was in fact real and not a dream as she believed.

The second part that probably shouldn’t have been Kara’s focus, but consumed it all, was the realisation that Lena dreamed about her too. Kara was a happy fantasy for Lena, just as much as Lena was for her. 

“Lena…” Kara choked out, squeezing Lena’s hand in her own to emphasise the truth of what she was about to say, “This is real. I’m really here.”

Lena considered this for a moment before rolling her eyes and puffing out a breath in amusement, “Pfft… yeah right.” Lena raised her chin haughtily, in preparation for being proven right, as she brought her free hand to hover above her other arm’s bicep, “If you were real this would-” Lena pinched the skin on her bicep hard, and Kara winced on her behalf, “Ow!” 

Lena rubbed the spot that had already begun to turn a deep red as Kara muttered in disbelief, “Did you seriously just pinch yourself?”

Lena froze and her gaze snapped away from her self-inflicted injury to Kara. Her entire face slack and rapidly draining of colour. “You’re really here!” Lena exclaimed, pulling her hand free from Kara’s so that she could cup Kara’s face with both hands and yank her forward to inspect her closely. “HOW?!” Lena practically shouted.

Kara tried to answer but Lena’s ironclad grip on her kept her from doing so.

“Me.” Sam’s voice, thankfully, cut in from behind Kara saving her from trying to stammer out an answer that would soothe Lena’s panic.

“Sam?” Lena whispered, the betrayal obvious in the tremble in her hands as they dropped away from Kara’s face. Kara instantly interlaced her fingers with Lena’s to offer support, earning a shy, uncertain smile in gratitude.

Kara twisted her neck round to see Sam seemingly try to amp herself up by nodding to herself before stepping forward and crossing her arms defiantly.

“That’s right. I did it!” Sam proudly admitted, “I disobeyed you! And you know what?” Lena arched an eyebrow and pursed her lips in response which seemed to rattle Sam a little as her volume decreased back to something far more controlled. “I don’t regret it. Because you may not think your happiness is worth fighting for, but I do.” Sam jerked a thumb towards her chest just in case Lena was unsure who she was referring to. “And I think most of this country does too.”

“You don’t know that.” Lena replied coldly, but Kara felt Lena’s thumb stroke the back of her hand either to soften her harshness in Kara’s eyes or to reassure herself that Kara was still there. 

Considering Lena struggled to believe that she had returned, Kara leaned towards it being the latter.

“Then let me prove it to you.” Sam requested quietly but assertively. “Give me and Lucy a week. Give us a chance to come up with a plan that let’s…” Sam glanced meaningfully at their connected hands, “ _ this _ work for both of you.”

Lena didn’t respond immediately, her eyes going downcast as she bit her bottom lip and eventually murmured, “I don’t-”

A cruel vice clamped down on Kara’s heart as she flash-backed to having to leave Lena those three weeks ago. To having her heart feel like it was being physically ripped in half. To trying to fill the void with activity and random interactions.

Kara couldn’t go through that again.

And if Lena had been suffering even half as much as she’d done, which seemed to be the case, Kara couldn’t let her go through that again either.

“Do it, please.” Kara begged, interrupting Lena before she even had the chance to voice any of the numerous reasons why it wouldn’t and shouldn’t work.

Lena jolted in place, her green eyes glowing with tender care as she gently prompted, “Kara?”

“I don’t want to give you up.” Kara professed, “I didn’t think I had the right to ask you to give us a real try… but I’ve spent the last three weeks…” Kara gulped, forcing herself to be honest, to not miss out on the second chance she never thought she would get. “...hating myself for walking away. For letting you go. Lena, I- I don’t want anyone else. Just you.” Kara breathed, lifting their linked hands so that she could place a soft beseeching kiss on the backs of Lena’s hands. “Give them the week. Give us the week.” 

Lena took a deep breath, and looked up to the ceiling, freeing herself from both Sam’s and Kara’s puppy dog gazes. Long seconds of unbroken silence passed as Lena deliberated on her decision. 

“Okay. One week.”

Kara and Sam exchanged a stunned look upon hearing Lena’s easy agreement.

“Yes!” Sam shouted, raising both arms high in the air in victory whilst Kara dived forward to give Lena a grateful kiss that left both of them breathless and giddy.

“By the way,” Lena muttered menacingly, after she had regained control of her smile, and pointed an accusing finger at Sam to keep her from making her hasty escape, “as punishment for disobeying a direct order,” Lena paused, allowing Sam to squirm and fidget in suspense, “whenever I get lectured by Lucy for breaking security protocol... you have to stay for the whole thing too from now on.”

Sam’s nose wrinkled in disgust and she groaned bitterly, “Ugh… can’t you just fire me instead?”

“Nope.” Lena smirked, “If I’m going to suffer, you are too.”

“Tyrant.” Sam huffed.

“And proud.” Lena accepted with a carefree shrug, winking at Kara who blushed at the flirty action.

“Ugh…” Sam grunted, flapping her hand disapprovingly in their direction, “I’ve had my fill of sappy looks for the year. I’m going to leave you to it.” Sam gestured to the door and made to leave when Lena called out after her.

“Sam?”

“Yeah?” Sam prompted, stopping mid-step to turn back towards her best friend.

“Thank you.” Lena said simply and sincerely.

Sam blinked rapidly to dispel the tears building up, and bowed her head respectfully, “You’re welcome.” And with that Sam strode out of the hospital room, her usual swagger firmly back in place.

Lena yawned following the departure of her best friend, making Kara acutely aware of the still present dark circles under Lena’s eyes. “You should get some rest.” Kara encouraged gently.

Lena smiled softly at the obvious care in Kara’s words as she slowly shuffled over to one side of the hospital bed and gestured to the freed up space with her chin. “Only if you join me.”

“Lena.” Kara whined nervously, unsure if the doctor’s would permit such a thing.

“Please.” Lena pouted, tugging lightly on their joined together hands, “Lay down next to me.”

Kara was only so strong. How on Earth was she meant to say no to that?

Kara crawled into the available space beside Lena who immediately turned onto her side and rested her cheek on Kara’s shoulder, curling her body around Kara’s.

“Could you...?” Lena sleepily requested, pointing to the book on the beside.

Kara chuckled as she reached out for the book and opened it up to the bookmarked page, “For you? Always.”


	25. The Perfect Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter is just pure and utter fluff. This chapter doesn't advance the story pretty much at all. It's just happy and cutesy. So... if you want plot development, I understand if you want to skip this chapter and wait for the next one. 
> 
> On the other hand... who doesn't love pure and utter fluff? I feel like we could all do with some more in our lives. :) xx

“I know you’re watching me…”, Kara breathed out, allowing Lena to gleefully enjoy seeing the corners of the blonde’s mouth uptick into a teasing smile whilst her eyes remained resolutely shut.

“And your point is?” Lena murmured, reaching out to gently trace the light smile on Kara’s face with the tips of her fingers, cherishing the flutter of joy that always flew through her body whenever she came into contact with Kara.

“You should still be asleep. The doctors said you need to be well-rested.” Kara reasoned, blinking her eyes slowly open and squinting up at Lena, who was propped up on an elbow gazing lovingly down at her, the warm morning sun illuminating her from behind. Lena rolled her eyes fondly at the reminder, lowering herself carefully back down to rest her cheek on Kara’s shoulder and curl her body back around hers.

“Well, the doctors didn’t take into consideration how mesmerising the blonde I’m sharing my bed with is.” Lena tutted exaggeratedly at the obvious failing of the healthcare professionals who’d treated her, “I mean how do they expect me to sleep when I have such a beautiful sight laid out before me?” Lena shrugged helplessly, fluttering her eyelashes for extra effect causing Kara to chuckle lightly in her arms.

“I know for a fact that I drool in my sleep, there is no way I am a beautiful sight to behold.” Kara dismissed with a shake of her head, shuffling slightly as she moved to rest her cheek on top of Lena’s head, her eyes drifting closed for a few seconds as she breathed in Lena’s scent. 

Lena’s heart stuttered with what was steadily becoming a familiar pain at how Kara always brushed off any and all compliments directed towards her with that slight shake of her head which revealed just how little she believed them to be true. Lena wished Kara could see herself the way Lena did, she would never for a second think she was less than beautiful, kind, intelligent and inspiring ever again. 

Yes, Kara most definitely drooled in her sleep. 

She also twitched and fidgeted irregularly throughout the night as her limbs desperately tried to copy whatever action they were carrying out in her dreams. But Kara also instinctively squirmed closer to Lena every chance she got, seeking out her warmth unconsciously and holding her securely in her arms, her grip not too tight or too loose. Kara’s expression was even softer than usual in her sleep, something Lena had originally thought impossible. Throughout the night the blonde would brush her lips against Lena’s exposed skin whenever she buried her face into the crook of Lena’s neck.

How on earth could Lena not be enchanted by all that?

Lena exhaled slowly, before shifting so that her chin was resting on Kara’s shoulder allowing her to look directly into mildly startled blue eyes. “You know I mean it, right?”

“Huh?” Kara asked, her brow furrowing in confusion as she tried to kickstart her sleep-addled mind.

“You’re beautiful.” Lena stated simply yet seriously. “On the inside and out.” 

Kara blinked at her in surprise, her mouth opening slightly as she struggled for words. 

Lena leaned forward and gently brushed her lips against Kara’s, trying to push the sincerity of her statement through to her with the most delicate of kisses and caresses. “I really wish I could show you how true that is.” Lena exhaled sweetly as she pulled away, noting the dazed expression on Kara’s face.

“The doctor said you need to wait a couple of days for that…” Kara mumbled shyly, her face blushing a blistering red as her hands shot up to tweak a pair of glasses that weren’t on her face but resting on the bedside table instead. Lena chuckled at the action and was secretly pleased to see that Kara didn’t refute the compliment like before. There was also no shake of the head or roll of the eyes to dismiss it either. 

Lena resolved herself to making this reaction the new standard. 

“Hmmm… fine.” Lena relented with a huff, imparting a teasing kiss to Kara’s lips purely to remind her of everything she was missing out on before pulling back quickly, leaving Kara to jolt forward in a bid to chase after her. “So…”, Lena dragged out the word as she settled back down, smirking at the pout on Kara’s face. “What should we do to fill the time until then?” 

“Sleep more.” Kara declared, her arms that were wrapped around Lena giving her a light squeeze. “Then, whatever you want.” Kara yawned, her eyes drifting closed as she murmured drowsily. “As long as I’m with you, I’m happy.”

Lena’s heart immediately skipped a beat at that pronouncement whilst Kara gave out a little sigh and returned to her Sunday morning lie-in without hesitation. The beaming grin on Lena’s face retreated steadily back to the gentle, always there smile that was present whenever Kara was nearby. 

Therefore, for the first time in years, Lena finally allowed herself to indulge in sleeping in on a weekend; everything that had happened in the last twenty four hours playing out in her mind’s eye to lull her back to a deep, untroubled slumber. 

Yesterday, Lena had woken up to a dream come true: Kara holding her hand and watching her with those baby blue eyes that made Lena  _ melt _ . 

Upon realising she wasn’t living out a fantasy and agreeing to let Sam and Lucy come up with a long-term plan, Lena had rested securely in Kara’s arms listening as the blonde read aloud, imitating the characters’ voices and quirks as much as possible. 

Mid-afternoon, Sam re-appeared to usher Kara out of the hospital room so that the doctors could complete their check-up on the Queen and discharge her. Sam promised that Kara would be escorted to the Palace personally by Captain Dunn so she wasn’t awkwardly waiting around, as once Lena was discharged she would have to make a quick appearance to the press to allay her people’s concerns about her wellbeing. 

Lena hated even the concept of being separated from Kara again, especially since they had only been reunited for a handful of hours. Her grip had instantly tightened on Kara’s hand, and she tensed up at the fear of the consequences of letting her go. 

Immediately, though, she kicked herself. 

Her mind tutted at her clinginess and a voice, which sounded a lot like her father’s, whispered a harsh ‘ _ pathetic’ _ . She cringed at her actions and tried to pull her hand away but Kara wouldn’t let her. Her gaze, far too knowing considering how long they’d actually known each other, was fixed on her and shone with incredible tenderness. 

With a quirked smile and quick kiss, Kara pledged to be there at the Palace waiting for her and she would sort things so that they can spend the week together if Lena was happy for her to do so.  An enthusiastic kiss in response answered that question and earned a heavy throat clearing from Sam who was awkwardly stood on the sidelines, still waiting to guide Kara to the Captain unobserved. 

The surgery had been so minor, only a couple of barely visible stitches were all that remained of the sharp pain in Lena’s side that she had been dutifully ignoring before having to be taken to the hospital by an insistent Lucy. The doctor gave her quick rundown of what her recovery required, mostly just relaxation and recuperation as, though they were tactful enough not to say it aloud, the level of exhaustion she had been experiencing was the main thing they were intent on treating.

Sam returned during the consultation with suitable clothing and a written statement for her to read out to the press on the steps of the hospital before returning to the Palace. Sam was insistent that for once Lena didn’t answer the numerous questions the press would be intent on throwing at her or greet her citizens as she was custom to do whenever she could. Lena had argued it would merely increase concern and suspicion if she totally digressed from her normal routine and insisted that she interact with a few citizens that had come to the hospital, worried over their monarch’s health. 

Lena was, of course, desperate to return to Kara’s side but duty would always come first and she’d already promised not to complete any work or schedule any meetings for at least two days (the longest Lena had ever gone without working for years). Lena was hoping to alleviate her impending guilt about putting down her responsibilities to spend time with Kara by fulfilling her role to the best of her abilities whilst they were separated for this short period of time. 

Sam relented eventually, understanding Lena’s logic and knowing nothing could come between the Queen’s desire to do right by her people. The chief of staff communicated the slight change of plan to Commander Lane who rushed to organise the necessary security measures. 

By the time Lena’s security detail was pulling up to the Palace it was starting to shift to early evening and Lena was buzzing with excitement at seeing Kara again. The Palace was back to its usual quiet without the presence of the journalist cohort or any dignitaries visiting. Although Lena enjoyed the liveliness and sound when there were guests, she’d always valued the time when there wasn’t many people around. When there was no need to have a security escort if she ventured outside her personal quarters to wander around her own home, or always having to be prepared to shift into full-queen mode if she ran into whoever she was hosting.

Lena found Kara unsurprisingly in their kitchen. 

Kara was on the phone, pacing frantically back and forth as she rambled at an almost incoherent speed. Lena hung back, moving quietly to one of the kitchen island stools where she wouldn’t disturb Kara too much. The blonde was gesturing vigorously and her expression flitted between a wide variety of emotions in very quick, almost random, succession. 

Kara did, however, pause her conversation the second she realised Lena had arrived, her face breaking out into that beaming grin which always made Lena’s heart skip a beat, and rushed over to place a quick greeting kiss on Lena’s lips before spinning round to return to her rapid pacing. 

Lena quickly gathered Kara was speaking to her sister and trying desperately to stop her from panicking about Kara’s all too sudden disappearance. 

Kara never  _ technically  _ lied to her sister during their conversation, but she definitely wasn’t forthcoming about her whereabouts and what prompted her departure. Kara told Alex that she had taken her advice and gone travelling to give her some time to clear her head. 

Kara used every trick in the book to avoid explicitly stating her location. Lena, nevertheless, knew that if the stories Kara had told her about Alex’s investigative skills were true, her sister would not be even remotely fooled. When Alex stopped pestering for information it wasn’t because she believed Kara but more to do with the fact that she trusted Kara to tell her if something was actually wrong and chose not to pressure her sister unfairly to spill her secrets. 

Just from the small glimpse of that one-sided phone call, Lena could see just how close the sisters were and she was immediately uncomfortable with the concept that Kara felt it was necessary to lie to someone who loved her so much presumably out of a desire to protect Lena’s identity. There was something so inherently wrong about the situation that Lena resolved herself to talking to Kara about it during their time together over the next couple of days. She decided not to bring it up that night though due to the fatigued way Kara slipped onto the stool next to her and rubbed her nose along Lena’s jawline, nuzzling into her sleepily after finishing her conversation with Alex. 

Kara revealed in hushed tones, that made it feel like they were the only two people in the whole world, that she had phoned work and since she had stockpiled an exorbitant amount of holiday they were happy for her to take the week off. 

Lena wanted to cook for them like she used to but after all the events of the day, she didn’t have the energy so instead arranged for a simple dinner to be brought to them by a Palace staffer. The two spoke in quiet murmurs over their meal, some part of their bodies always in contact: a gentle guiding hand here and there whilst waiting for food to arrive, ankles wrapped around each other during the main course and linked together pinkie fingers whilst eating chocolate mousse.

They spoke about everything and nothing, Kara taking the lion-share of conversation due to Lena’s increasing sleepiness.

Kara gave a quick overview of the articles she’d been working on during their time apart (Lena had read every single one) and had started to go into detail about a handful of them when Lena let out a large yawn which prompted Kara to break off and insist she help Lena to bed. Despite only going there once, and Kara openly admitting her sense of direction was rather lacklustre, she managed to guide Lena to her bedroom without a single misstep. 

Kara hesitated once they were inside Lena’s bedroom, lingering uncertainly in the open floor space, her eyes flickering between where Lena was getting ready for bed (Lena didn’t bother to retreat to the bathroom to do so, she was utterly comfortable with Kara’s presence as she undressed and dressed) and her bag which had been deposited in the corner of the room. 

“I’ve got some pyjamas if you didn’t bring any...” Lena offered kindly, crossing the room in her pyjama shorts and baggy shirt with a popular Theonian band on it, to interlace her fingers with Kara’s.

“No… I’ve got some…” Kara stuttered out nervously, her free hand adjusting her glasses as she blushed a light pink. “I just wasn’t sure… if… um… if I was staying with you…” Kara confessed.

Lena paused at that, studying Kara closely, attempting to work out if Kara’s uncertainty was due to her desire to have her own space or a reflection of the ambiguity surrounding where their relationship stood. Lena exhaled deeply, before leaning forward and capturing Kara’s lips in a tender, barely-there kiss. “I always want you by my side, don’t ever doubt that. If you want some space-”

“No.” Kara cut in, her hands coming up to cup Lena’s face and stop the words from tumbling out of her mouth. “Just you. I just want you.” Kara affirmed, her blue eyes clear and sincere.

With that simple sentiment Kara guided Lena forward and into a passionate kiss which made Lena tremble and whimper within seconds. Lena’s hands moved to Kara’s back, her fingers digging in, holding them tightly together, never wanting to let her go again. Kara teasingly pulled back, leaving a trail of kisses across her sharp jawline.

“Kara…”, Lena whined, shaking her head in amusement upon seeing the proud smirk on Kara’s face. “Come to bed and hold me.” Lena pleaded directly into Kara’s ear earning a shiver and vigorous nod. 

Within minutes the two of them were under the covers, Kara’s arms wrapped tightly around Lena from behind, pressing her back to Kara’s front. Lena was yet again amazed, having noticed the last time she’d been held by Kara, by the strange swirl of emotions that overcame her and settled carefully inside. 

She felt vulnerable and unarmoured, almost small in Kara’s embrace. All of which were feelings she normally abhorred due to her father’s indoctrination when she was younger and the need to be an ever strong, unbreakable symbol to her people. 

On the other hand, Lena felt  _ safe _ ,  _ cared for  _ and utterly  _ cherished _ . 

She didn’t feel weak but supported.

Falling asleep that night, with the whispered promise of Kara being there when she woke up in the morning, was the easiest it had been in years. 

Unfortunately, the second time Lena woke up that Sunday morning it was to find herself alone, the space Kara had been occupying was cold and there was no sound coming from the bathroom. The only thing that prevented Lena from thinking the worst was the sight of Kara’s now unpacked bag across the room. 

Letting out a sigh, Lena began to push herself up, intent on finding out where Kara had disappeared off to when, at the same time, the bedroom door steadily creaked open. Kara appeared, pushing the door open with her elbow, her hands occupied with a tray laden with a plate and steaming mug, a frown of heavy concentration taking over her face as she focused on not spilling anything.

“Oh, you’re awake…”, Kara pouted upon glancing up to see Lena watching her curiously, “I was hoping to surprise you.”

“Surprise me with what?” Lena inquired, plumping the pillows so that she could sit up and rest against them.

“Breakfast in bed.” Kara declared cheerily, setting the tray proudly down on Lena’s lap before slipping onto the bed to sit next to her.

“Kara, thank you.” Lena earnestly said, “This is unbelievably sweet of you.” She gifted Kara a grateful kiss on the cheek which had the blonde grinning from ear to ear.

Lena, in turn, was beaming at the thoughtfulness of the gesture and was on the precipice of cooing over the food when she finally got a clear view of the meal awaiting her. Scrambled eggs that were more liquid than solid, bacon which had turned a lovely shade of charcoal and a pair of rather anaemic looking sausages. All of which was arranged into a picasso-esque smiling face (bacon for the smile, sausages as eyebrows and eggs for eyes). 

Lena swallowed the wave of nausea that accompanied the sight and forced the largest smile she could muster as she picked up the knife and fork and prepared to dig in. With Kara bouncing eagerly by her side, Lena consumed a hearty forkload. 

“How is it?” Kara questioned, biting her thumbnail anxiously.

Lena shot her a closed mouth smile, and two thumbs up as she gathered the necessary strength to swallow the utterly unappetising food. Kara, however, didn’t even register that she had replied, she was already halfway through the next sentence of one of her classic rambles that Lena adored. 

“I will be honest... I haven’t done any cooking since we last saw each other.” Kara admitted with a wince before waving her hands as if to pre-empt an admonishment from Lena that was not coming. “I know, I know, I know... practice makes perfect and all that but it just… you know…” Kara shrugged helplessly, “It didn’t feel right without you.”

Lena finally swallowed the food in her mouth, which all of a sudden no longer tasted as awful as it had done a moment ago. Lena put it down to the shy smile on Kara’s face as she muttered that admission and Kara’s inherent ability to be make everything better.

“I mean,” Kara continued, her blue eyes twinkling at the fond expression Lena was directing towards her, “I now see the appeal of cooking and all that - it kind of makes me feel like I’m in potion class at Hogwarts which is always fun - but I realised I enjoyed it so much because I liked doing it with you.” 

Lena arched a seductive eyebrow at that which instantly flustered Kara and threw her ramble into an even higher gear. 

“It being cooking. Not other things.” Kara clarified, merely causing Lena’s eyebrow to rise higher and her signature coy smirk to appear. “Wait… I definitely enjoyed - enjoy - other things with you.” Kara rapidly backtracked, spluttering out disjointed phrases. “I mean… that was… you know… incredible. But anyway cooking. No practice. Because sad. Happy again now.”

Lena maintained her straight face for as long as possible, Kara’s fidgeting increasing tenfold with every passing second before Lena lost control and burst out laughing. Kara promptly stilled, a childish pout overtaking her features as she shook her head in annoyance.

“I’m happy too.” Lena declared as the giggles steadily faded, reaching out to tuck an errant curl of blonde hair behind Kara’s ear. “And this…” Lena nodded down to the tray, “this is the best breakfast I’ve ever had.” She stated with utter sincerity.

“Yeah?” Kara smiled hopefully.

“Mmhmm.” Lena hummed.

With that final assurance Kara excitedly snatched up the fork and loaded it up before Lena had a chance to stop her. “Lemme try.”

“Wait-”

“Ugh!” Kara groaned, paling considerably as she forced down the food. “Oh my god, that’s awful!” Kara cried, picking up the mug of coffee and taking a swig in an attempt to cleanse her palette. “Don’t eat that.” Kara ordered, grabbing the tray and depositing it on the bedside table. “Why would you eat that?” She inquired, her brow heavily furrowed with perplexity.

“Because…” Lena began, her voice cutting out upon realising what she’d been on the verge of saying. 

Three little words that she’d never said to anyone in the way she wanted to say them to Kara.

They were true. 

She knew that. 

She’d known that from the second Kara had hugged her at the lake, though she only admitted it to herself when Kara left all those weeks ago.

She couldn’t, however, bring herself to say them. Not when their future was still uncertain. If she said them there would be no taking them back. She didn’t want to just say, ‘I love you’ to Kara, she wanted to say ‘I love you now and I’ll love you forever’. 

Lena exhaled deeply, shifting around to straddle Kara’s lap, her fingers curling under Kara’s jaw and directing her into a kiss that left both of them breathless. Lena proceeded to rest her forehead against Kara’s, and brush their noses together as Kara’s hands stroked from her thighs to the small of her back, tracing out a fiery trail which made Lena arch into Kara’s body. 

“How about you try cooking breakfast again…” Lena breathed out enticingly, “but this time I’ll help…”

“I’d like that.” Kara whispered in agreement before sucking gently on Lena’s lower lip.

It took half-an-hour for them to find the resolve to leave the bed and that was only because Kara’s stomach let out an almighty grumble which had Lena giggling and tugging Kara back to the kitchen. Lena directed Kara in making scrambled eggs, bacon and sausages, producing a far more appetising meal that Kara wolfed down in a matter of minutes prompting a third round of cooking for Kara. 

Once breakfast, which was so late it more lunch than brunch, was settled in their stomachs, Lena inquired what Kara would do on her Sundays if she was at home. Kara revealed with a shrug and sleepy-dopey smile, that was quickly becoming a top contender for Lena’s favourite Kara smile, that she would often spend Sundays in her pyjamas watching films or reading whatever book she had on the go at that moment in time. Alex would often stop by and they would watch whatever show they were addicted to on Netflix together.

Lena pondered this answer, thinking how much she would enjoy a day like that with Kara. No rushing around, just peace and quiet curled up in each others arms. It took her a few seconds to realise that, for once, there was nothing stopping her from getting exactly what she wanted.

“What’s Netflix?” Lena asked curiously much to Kara’s surprise and delight.

Theonia’s technology was very advanced, there was no question about that, and since Theonia was a very private country, keen to keep the wider world completely out of their business, it had built itself an incredibly reliable intranet which connected the citizens together and allowed businesses to flourish across the nation. The wider world’s internet was slow in comparison and far less adaptive, the main struggle that the Science and Technology minister would face in the coming years as the desire to interact with people around the world increased would be connecting the two together for the whole nation. 

Thankfully, due to Lena’s role as Queen, access to the internet had been arranged at the Palace due to her need to interact with the international community months ago. Linking the television in her private living room to the internet was a piece of cake for the technical minded monarch. 

Kara was bouncing excitedly on the light grey sofa as she logged into netflix and listed off every tv show and film she couldn’t wait for Lena to see, Disney films obviously being top of the list. 

Lena heaved a fake sigh of exasperation but the sparkle in her green eyes gave away how charmed she was.

The two of them remained curled up on the sofa for the rest of the day, Lena leaning back against Kara, their fingers intertwined, Kara nuzzling her nose into the nape of her neck whenever Lena laughed or teared up at whatever scene they were currently watching.

Lilo & Stitch quickly became Lena’s favourite film purely due to how Kara recited every line of dialogue under her breath, or laughed a second before every joke, or pulled Lena protectively into her chest at every tear-jerking moment. Lena also loved Mulan, The Lion King and unsurprisingly Beauty & The Beast (just like Kara had assured her she would).

By dinner time, Lena was pretty sure she and Kara had melded with the couch but she managed to encourage Kara to stand by promising her a kiss for every step she took towards the kitchen (Lena didn’t even remotely care how slow this made their progress as it was incentive for her too).

They made dinner together like they used to and yet another piece of her heart that Lena had been missing since Kara left slid back into place. Whilst they washed up following a rather delicious risotto, Kara informed Lena of the recent developments in her career and how she was undecided about what to specialise in. It took a little prodding but Kara finally admitted her interest in science and technology.

“That sounds amazing Kara!” Lena exclaimed, turning to face Kara who was shyly adjusting her glasses with soap-suddy hands. “You could breathe such life into that subject.”

“That’s what Alex said.” Kara admitted with a shrug, her eyes trained on the plate she was taking extra care to wash.

“There you go.” Lena encouraged, nudging the blonde with her shoulder. “What’s stopping you?” Lena inquired gently, placing a hand on the small of Kara’s back to give her a sense of being supported.

“I just…”, Kara began, biting her lip as she struggled to put whatever she was thinking into words. “I like interviewing people… I like giving people a voice.”

Lena raised an eyebrow at that, slowly reaching out to place a finger under Kara’s chin and guide her to look at Lena directly. “And why can’t you do that if you’re a science and technology journalist?”

“Well, I can… it’s just…” Kara blushed embarrassedly, “It would be about how things work… not about people…”

“Does it have to be?” Lena whispered softly, her fingers moving to stroke Kara’s jaw as she spoke seriously. “From what I’ve gathered of the rest of the world, a lot of focus is placed on celebrities, people who aren’t working to change the world as we know it. You could help shift perspective back on scientists.” Lena suggested, “The people that create are just as important and interesting as what they’ve created, Kara, I genuinely believe that.” 

Kara cocked her head to the side at that and Lena could practically see the questions forming behind the crease on her forehead. 

“Some of the people I have worked with in my time,” Lena explained, “have struggled and overcome so much in the pursuit of knowledge.  _ You _ could shine a light on how scientists, have done and, are doing a lot for this world but never get the recognition they deserve.”

Kara’s immediately lit up and she started to bounce on the spot. “That… that sounds incredible!” Kara cheered, leaning forward to capture Lena’s lips in a deep kiss which meant Lena didn’t realise Kara’s soapy hands left bubbles on her face and in her hair until later. 

“I would love to do that!” Kara pulled back to proclaim, clapping her hands together exuberantly (covering Lena in even more water), before starting to pace back and forth as she spouted out all the ideas she was being overwhelmed by. “I could do a whole interview series on leaders in different scientific subjects.” Kara began to list, spinning back to face Lena with bright blue eyes and wild gestures, “Oh! Or I could focus on women in science. Or… scientists working in dangerous environments, like conflict… the desire to learn doesn’t get diminished even during the worst circumstances… I have so many ideas!”

“I can tell.” Lena chuckled, catching Kara’s flailing hands to interlace their fingers which was a subtle and considerate way she’d learnt to get Kara to take a breath during a ramble without having to interrupt her. “And I can’t wait to read all of them.” Lena murmured honestly.

Kara expanded on all her ideas and Lena soaked up the sheer creativity and enthusiasm Kara exuded for the rest of the night. By the time they retreated to bed, Lena and Kara felt utterly in-sync, they easily dressed for bed and slipped into what Lena saw as their own sides. As Lena shuffled over and into Kara’s open and waiting arms, resting her head against Kara’s chest, being lulled to sleep by the sound of Kara’s heartbeat.

“Please…” Lena whispered pleadingly to the universe (which had ignored her for most of her life, however Lena figured she was due a good turn), once she was sure Kara was asleep. “Please find a way for me to have this… her… forever.”


	26. First Impressions

“Loki!” Kara squealed in delight as she skipped excitedly over to the large black horse that let out a loud huff in greeting and shook his mane to encourage her forward. “Who’s the best horse in the world?” Kara asked, stepping forward to pet the horse’s neck and rub his long nose.

A whinny from across the stable caught Kara’s attention and she let out another pleased yell when she spotted Peaches tapping the floor to get her attention and answer the question with his name.

“Peaches!” Kara called out, earning her an approving puff of breath from the showboating horse. “I promise to come and see you next.” Kara reassured as Loki bent his neck to keep her in his presence instead of wandering off to her other equine friend. “And you’re both the best horse in the world. The judges couldn’t pick so they gave the award to both of you.”

Disgruntled exhales came from both horses, neither approving of this decision.

“Aww, Kara.” Lena cooed from where she was leaning against the wall, her eyes dancing with affection.

“What?” Kara pouted, resting her cheek against Loki’s hair as she fluttered her eyelashes in Lena’s direction to great effect. “I don’t want them to think I have a favourite.”

“There is nothing wrong with having favourites.” Lena murmured, pushing off the wall and stalking slowly towards Kara, carefully trapping the blonde between her body and the horse.

“Oh, really?” Kara asked innocently, enjoying the seductive smirk Lena was wearing.

“Hmm…” Lena hummed into Kara’s ear, her lips just short of brushing the skin underneath.

Kara trembled with anticipation, her eyes slipping closed as Lena’s warm breath, her lips mere millimetres away from touching skin, traced a path from Kara’s ear to her lips. Just before making contact, however, the pressure of Lena’s body and warmth vanished in an instant.  

“Isn’t that right, Loki?” Lena inquired with a sing song voice.

Kara’s eyes snapped open in disappointment and frustration; her entire body had been thrumming with energy, ready to take flight and soar again, only to feel like she had been hit by a wave of cold water. Kara gave out an annoyed breath, causing Lena, who had stepped round to stroke Loki’s nose, to smile wide enough that the one-dimple Kara loved to kiss appeared.

“Tease.” Kara grumbled, stepping forward to wrap her arms around Lena from behind and nuzzle with her nose and lips into the one-dimple that only deepened as Lena laughed heartily.

“Oh, I’m the tease?” Lena shot back as she leant to one side, remaining comfortably in Kara’s arms, arching a very unimpressed eyebrow at the blonde. “What about the shower this morning?”

Kara blushed heavily and squirmed from foot to foot guiltily. “I may…”, Kara admitted slowly, “or may not have gotten slightly carried away… that’s my bad.” She winced out the admission, as her mind was flooded with memories from that morning.

Kara had woken up earlier than Lena like yesterday, presumably because the exhausted Queen was desperately trying to regain all the sleep she’d been missing out on for the last few years. Lena had even confessed she’d never slept so well as she did with Kara holding her which only made Kara’s chest expand with pride and put a beaming smile on her face that she was sure she would never get rid of.

Deciding not to miss out on this head start (though she could happily have watched Lena sleep for hours without complaint), Kara went to get showered figuring Lena would probably be awake by the time she was done and that way she didn’t miss out on any crucial Lena awake time. A long, hot shower later, Kara wrapped the towel around herself and stepped back into the bedroom to find Lena awake and her mouth hanging open as she took in the sight of Kara, scantily clad with the odd drop of water falling tantalizing down her bare skin.

Kara preened under the attention, having never felt so desired and wanted before in her entire life. Therefore, could she really have been blamed for _maybe_ putting on a little show for Lena’s benefit. Kara _may_ have strutted around the bedroom more than necessary. She _may_ have overly-struggled to decide what exact clothes she was planning on wearing for the day. This indecisiveness _may_ have meant she bent over a lot to sort through her clothes.

Around the tenth time Kara leant forward to dig through the drawer Lena had set aside for her to unpack her clothes into, and fifth time her towel accidentally slipped down, Lena shot up and out of bed, her entire body trembling, her teeth and fists clenched as she dramatically slammed the door to the bathroom closed behind her.

The two of them got off to a much later than intended start to the day, partly due to Lena’s extended time in the bathroom and partly due to the heavy makeout session that Kara sprang on Lena the second she was out of the bathroom (not that Lena even remotely minded).

“Uh huh.” Lena muttered, her gaze still narrowed and harsh but a soft smile playing on her lips that Kara couldn’t stop herself from leaning forward to capture with a soft kiss. Kara pulled back with a dreamy smile as Lena shook her head fondly at the blonde before turning back to give Loki her full attention. “Hey, old friend. I know it’s been a while…” Lena’s voice cracked and her eyes went downcast with shame.

Kara immediately tightened her hold on Lena in response, and moved to rest her chin on Lena’s shoulder, trying to soak up the negative emotions seeping from the other woman with physical contact alone.

When Kara had expressed an interest in learning to horse ride, Lena’s entire had face lit up and her green eyes had shone with rare excitement. Lena had promptly started planning out Kara’s training programme for the rest of the week and remarked that Loki would be thrilled to see her again. Following that comment, however, Lena’s face had darkened and it took careful coaxing from Kara to get Lena to admit that she hadn’t been to see Loki for quite some time. Kara had comforted her with soft, soothing words and caresses.

“I won’t let that happen again.” Lena promised fervently, staring straight into Loki’s eyes to convey the sincerity of her commitment to her old companion. “I’m sorry.” Lena apologised.

“I’m sure he forgives you.” Kara whispered, her statement backed up by the way Loki bowed his head and closed his eyes at Lena in a display of deep trust. Lena’s breath stuttered at the action and she stroked the large horse’s neck in gratitude. “Do you want to ride him?” Kara offered, wanting Lena to feel like she could spend some time with Loki without the responsibility of looking after Kara.

“Yes…”, Lena murmured tilting her head back to rest her forehead against Kara’s and kiss her cheek in thanks, “but later. I promised you some lessons”, Kara made to protest but Lena shook her head in gentle plea to let her finish, “and Loki loves to show off how good he is with newbies.”

Kara pursed her lips, ready to insist that Lena have her time with Loki first but the words deserted her when she saw the twinkle in Lena’s green eyes. Lena just looked happy and that flicker of excitement from earlier was back at the prospect of teaching and sharing something she loved with Kara.

“Good because I am definitely a newbie.” Kara gave Lena one final kiss before stepping back and moving round to the saddle, readying herself to spring atop the horse.

“You’ll be fine.” Lena assured unnecessarily since Kara already felt extraordinarily safe with Loki. “He’s especially good with children.” Lena added absentmindedly, as she adjusted the saddle straps meaning she failed to see the soft, hopeful smile that appeared on Kara’s face.

“Oh, really?” Kara murmured sweetly as she thought of a small blonde haired child with bright green eyes going for horse rides accompanied by his mother.

“Yeah.” Lena confirmed distractedly, giving Loki a final pat before stepping back and gesturing for Kara to mount up.

Kara shook her head, scattering images of a future that she was slowly becoming more and more optimistic might be possible, and got herself situated in the saddle, Lena helping where possible. Once Kara was comfortable and Lena had talked her through the various ways Loki could be directed (keeping it simple to start with), Lena headed over to the brown horse who had been watching the entire interaction curiously.

“Come on, Peaches. You’re with me.” Lena revealed, earning a sigh of disappointment from the horse as she approached. “I know, I know, I’m not as good as Kara,” Lena sympathised, flashing a cheeky wink at Kara over her shoulder as she smoothly mounted Peaches in one confident movement, “but once she’s good enough, she can ride you, promise.”

Lena’s commitment perked Peaches up instantly and he practically started to prance in his eagerness to get Kara’s lessons going.

The next couple of days were a continued dream come true for Kara.

Lena and her spent the morning with Peaches and Loki, Kara steadily improving as she guided Loki around the training ring and through a slightly lopsided figure eight, progressing to a light canter by the end of her second training session. The rest of the day was usually split between spending quiet time by Lena’s secret lake and being curled up together on the sofa. The day would always to come to an end in their kitchen, the two of them cooking side by side and murmuring their secrets across the table before retreating back to bed and each other’s arms.

 

* * *

  


“No!” Lena cried, jolting up from the picnic blanket and whirling round to stare aghast at Kara. “Cedric can’t be… and Voldemort is back?” Lena pouted, her face creasing up with the emotional suckerpunch she’d just received. “I thought these books were meant to be happy.”

“They are.” Kara defended, pushing herself up, closing the fourth Harry Potter book she’d been reading aloud from and putting it to one side so she could interlace her fingers with Lena.

“So no one else dies?” Lena asked perking up, her green eyes vibrant and shining with hope.

“Err…” Kara cringed.

Lena deflated, “At least no one important?”

“Define important.” Kara requested with a wince.

“A main character…”, Lena clarified, “Like Harry, Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore, the Weasleys, the teachers…” Kara’s eyes dropped away from Lena’s. “Kara...” Lena said slowly; Kara didn’t need to look at her face to know Lena was giving her the Queenly assessing glare which always made Kara want to spill all her secrets in one breath. “Why can’t you look me in the eye?”

“I am looking you in the eye.” Kara stated confidently.

“I know you have a certain fondness for my breasts but my eyes are up here.”

“Uh huh.” Kara agreed keeping her gaze trained a few inches below Lena’s chin. “How about we head back and watch another Disney film?” Kara offered, untactfully changing the subject.

“Kara?!” Lena demanded in frustration, finally causing Kara to look up.

“Mmhmm…”, Kara hummed shyly.

Lena sighed heavily, shaking her head in fond exasperation before she leant over to pick up the book and hand it back to Kara. “You at least have to be here to hold my hand when a character dies and you can’t judge me for crying.”

Kara blinked in surprise. “You don’t need to ask for that Lena.” Kara assured, reaching out with a free hand to cup Lena’s cheek. “I will always be happy to hold your hand, and if you’re crying, I want to be there to comfort you.”

Lena’s eyes closed instinctively as she turned her head to seek deep contact with Kara’s hand. “You’re lucky you’re so adorable, otherwise I wouldn’t forgive you for introducing me to a story that will break my heart.”

Kara smiled at the comment, quickly diving forward to kiss Lena lovingly before lying back down and opening the book back to where they had left off.

  


* * *

  


“Wait!” Lena exclaimed bolting upright, mildly winding Kara who she’d had been lying against. “Are those Harry Potter films?”

“Yeah,” Kara chuckled enjoying the delighted bounce Lena did on the sofa, “they made all of them into movies.” Lena clapped her hands together in child-like wonder. “You can’t watch any of them until we’ve finished the books.” Kara ordered earning a displeased but accepting huff from the Queen who sunk back against Kara’s chest.

“Fine.” Lena relented, before questioning, “Did they cast it well?”

Kara smirked, “You’re going to love the actor that plays Snape.”

  


* * *

  


The next day, the two of them returned to the lake intent on spending a large proportion of the day there, and away from the palace. Lena would be attending a couple of meetings tomorrow meaning, for the first time during their week together, they would have to part. Maybe their behaviour would be considered clingy but considering the last time they had separated they had truly believed that they would never see each other again, the two figured they deserved a free pass for at least a few days.

“End of the chapter.” Kara declared, setting the fifth Harry Potter to one side as Lena immediately rolled over and rested her chin on Kara’s shoulder.

“Thank you.” Lena whispered gratefully, her green eyes glowing with affection.

“You don’t need to thank me. I like reading to you.” Kara replied for what was probably the fiftieth time.

“Still… I appreciate it.” Lena said sincerely, nudging their noses together.

“I love this place.” Kara breathed, pulling back to look up at the slightly overcast sky through the hanging down branches of the willow tree they were sheltered under.

“You do?” Lena asked, obviously surprised by the statement.

“It reminds me of you.” Kara answered, prompting Lena to raise an eyebrow for further explanation. “It has a protective border of trees, like you have a protective shell,” Kara pointed out, fiddling with the arm of her glasses as the ramble started to spew forth, “but once you’re past that… it’s warm and inviting. It provides shelter and support. It’s naturally breathtaking.” Lena let out a stuttering breath at Kara’s simple, yet eloquent words. “It’s a place where time doesn’t matter and nowhere else exists. That’s how you make me feel.” Kara’s volume dropped low. “Like we have created our own little universe where anything is possible.”

Lena lifted herself up onto her elbows, looming over the blonde as she scrutinised Kara’s face intensely with a carefully blank expression. “Kara.” Lena murmured, her tone authoritative, “Kiss me.”

Kara grinned gleefully and reached up to cup Lena’s face and guide her gently down, breathing out against Lena’s lips, “As you wish.”

 

* * *

  


“I’ll see you in a couple of hours.” Lena reaffirmed with a miserable whine.

This was Lena’s fourth attempt at trying to leave for her meetings after getting repeatedly distracted by Kara’s lips on her neck and hands on her hips. Kara ignored the declaration, deciding to instead focus all her attention on trying to extract that stutter of breath from Lena that was Kara’s favourite sound in the whole world. With a little nip below Lena’s jaw, Kara was victorious, Lena’s breath instantly faltered and her back, that was pressed against the kitchen wall, slid a few inches downwards, the only thing stopping her from hitting the floor was Kara’s strong, steady grip.

“Kara…”, Lena pleaded her hands carefully disentangling from Kara’s hair so she could drop them down to Kara’s shoulders.

Kara let out a disappointed sigh, expecting Lena to lightly push her away and finally commit to leaving for her meeting. Lena, however, actually pulled Kara closer, pressing their bodies tightly against one another into a full length hug.

Mildly surprised but pleased, Kara responded by wrapping her arms around Lena’s waist and burying her face in Lena’s long hair, inhaling that light lavender scent which could only be smelt with close proximity.

“I don’t ever want to let you go again.” Lena confessed with a scared whisper.

Kara's heart shuddered inside her chest, experiencing the same pain whilst also wishing Lena was spared from it. “You don’t have to.” Kara vowed, kissing the side of Lena's head before whispering in her ear. “I’ll be right here.”

“Okay.” Lena swallowed, shaking her head embarrassedly as she pulled back, her smile soft and her eyes slightly misty.

Kara cupped Lena's face and kissed her slowly, memorising the shape of her lips and the softness of her tongue. “I promise to be on my best behaviour.” Kara grinned cheekily as she pulled back, proud of the dazed expression on the Queen's face.

“You don’t have to be.” Lena replied with a teasing smirk, stepping back to adjust her clothes and make herself presentable. “I just hope you don’t get bored.”

“Pfft… with Loki and Peaches for company?” Kara jerked her thumb over her shoulder in the general direction of where the stables were located, easily dismissing Lena's worries. “Don’t be ridiculous.” Lena rolled her eyes and glanced towards the kitchen door, hesitating at the last moment. Kara reached out and squeezed her hand. “See you soon.”

“See you soon.” Lena repeated, Kara's gentle touch giving her the needed boost to lift her chin and push back her shoulders, transitioning confidently into her Queen stature. With a final soft smile and nod, Lena strode out of the kitchen and headed to work.

Kara spent the next half an hour sipping her afternoon coffee in the warmth of the sun that was streaming through the kitchen windows, occasionally scribbling a few inspired words in her notepad as she planned out the key topics and articles she was intent on pitching to Cat upon returning home. Now settled on switching her writing towards science and the people behind technology, Kara was overflowing with inspiration and was eager to make the most of her new path. The hardest part, Kara was convinced, would be explaining her decision to Cat Grant who had been guiding her towards international politics over the last few moments. Kara hoped that if she could pitch enough stories that would capture Cat’s interest, her transition would go a lot smoother.

Once the coffee was consumed, Kara grabbed the handful of carrots she had set aside to fulfil a promise she had made to the two horses earlier that morning after they (and her) did very well in her riding lesson.

Certain routes through the palace were now second nature to Kara, and the corridors that had once seemed dark and foreboding, now seemed lighter, every inch vibrant with the history that came with it. Admittedly, there was still a lot of the Palace Kara hadn’t seen, her and Lena had stuck to the royal apartments for the most part which was Lena’s home within her home and where the palace staffers and guards didn’t intrude unless summoned.

That was probably the strangest part of it all: the lack of people.

The last time Kara was here it was difficult to go anywhere without running into someone else. Kara presumed Lena had requested for the two of them to be given their space which was allowed as long as they didn’t venture too far from the Queen’s quarters or well-known places.

Kara loved the alone time with Lena but she was wise enough to realise that this would never be the norm. Lena was being granted this uninterrupted time due to the grace recovery period her surgery required, once that was over and if Sam came up with a suitable plan that allowed them to be together… Kara didn’t want to imagine how much harder it would be to get any alone time with Lena.

Kara shrugged off the dreary thoughts of the future as she skipped through the gardens and towards the stables, guards and gardeners giving her a respectful nod but keeping their gaze down as much as possible.

Loki and Peaches instantly huffed out their usual breath of greeting upon seeing Kara arrive, carrots being waved victoriously in the air.  

Peaches chomped up his offered treat within two bites, endearing himself further to Kara who was steadily starting to see similar personality traits between the two of them. Loki, on the other hand, was far more ponderous in eating his carrot, taking his time to savour it.

“You’re Kara Danvers.”

Kara froze upon hearing the declaration and slowly turned her head to see a familiar young girl stood in the doorway scrutinising her closely. Loki, upon getting a clear view of the girl, rocked his head vigorously in an excited, almost puppy-like greeting.

“Err… yes…”, Kara stammered, wiping her slightly slobbered on hands onto her jeans in a poor attempt to make herself more presentable upon meeting someone who was so fundamentally important to Lena. “And you’re Ruby Arias.” Kara stated, flashing the girl the warmest and most welcoming smile she could.

Ruby smiled back in response, her slightly intimidating posture of crossed arms and narrowed gaze vanishing to be replaced with a tilted head and fingers tapping shyly against her arms. “Le- uh, her majesty told you about me?” She asked, her voice a mixture of surprised, curious and pleased.

“Of course she did.” Kara replied honestly, a minor chuckle to her voice at the preposterousness of Lena not mentioning Ruby, who she was so clearly proud of.

Ruby beamed at the reply and Kara encouraged Ruby to come closer to the big, black horse, who was practically bouncing up and down in excitement at the sight of his young friend. Ruby didn’t hesitate to approach and gently stroke the horse’s nose.

“You mean the world to her.” Kara murmured gently, knowing how much it would mean for Ruby to hear it.

“Yeah?” Ruby whispered with a proud and hopeful gleam in her eye.

“Yeah.” Kara repeated confidently.

“You’re pretty important to her too.” Ruby added after a moment’s silence where the two of them were focused on giving Loki attention.

“I am?”

“Hmm…” Ruby hummed with a teasing twinkle in her eye that faded into something more serious. “She was really sad when she thought you wouldn’t talk to her again and then even sadder after you’d left.”

Kara swallowed the heavy lump in her throat that came with that revelation, her hands falling limply to her sides as she confessed quietly. “I was really sad too.”

Ruby hip-checked Kara, causing the blonde to jump slightly in shock and succeeded in getting her to lift up her downcast gaze.

“Mum will fix it.” Ruby asserted, the fire and determination in her words instantly wiping away the heavy emotions weighing Kara down. “She’ll figure out a way for you both to be happy.”

“Your mum is pretty incredible,” Kara agreed earning herself a few points if the way Ruby’s chest proudly puffed out was any indication, “if anyone can figure it out _and_ convince the stubborn Queen... it would be your mum.”

“You’re right.”

“Did you come here to see Loki?” Kara asked, keen to get to know the charismatic young girl.

“Yeah! Her majesty taught me to ride on him when I was younger.” Ruby revealed, placing a grateful kiss on Loki’s nose which earned her a slow blink of affection from the large horse.

“Good with children…” Kara murmured under her breath thoughtfully. “Her majesty is teaching me now,” Kara explained to Ruby, “any chance you can give me some tips or tell me how learning went for you?”

Ruby’s eyes lit up at the prospect and immediately she began regaling Kara with her own trials and tribulations of learning to ride, Loki giving the occasional piece of input (usually to highlight that any error was not his fault). The two of them eventually wandered over to a bench just outside the stables that looked out over the gardens. The conversation moved from horse-riding to Ruby’s school life which paved the way for Ruby to ask what school was like in another country. Kara explained the schooling system, never once talking down to Ruby as she did so, and then shared a few anecdotal stories from her own experiences. Ruby, in particular, liked any story to do with Alex who always came out as kind of a badass in Kara’s tales. She especially liked the one about Alex taking out Kara’s bullies one by one over the course of one day, a story Kara always told in the vein of a horror-film to add some dramatic flair.

“I hope you stay.” Ruby admitted once her giggles following the college trash-bag exam story had died down.

“You do?” Kara asked, her eyebrow raising in surprise.

“Yeah,” Ruby nodded, shrugging casually, “you seem kind of cool.”

Kara’s eyes went wide and her jaw went slack as she jerked a thumb towards herself in disbelief. “Kind of cool? Me?” Ruby grinned, chuckling at Kara’s reaction but nodded her head again. “Woo!” Kara cheered, jumping to her feet and waving her hands about in a very unchoreographed victory dance.

“Yeah…”, Ruby rolled her eyes in amusement as Kara fell back into her seat with a delighted huff of breath. The two of them looked out at the wide expanse of trees, flowers and open lawns, taking a moment to simply appreciate the view. “Though…” Ruby began slowly, her voice hesitant yet serious.

“Though…?” Kara prompted, straightening up as she detected a shift in the young girl’s demeanour.

Ruby kept her gaze facing forward, her hands clenched tightly in her lap, and she swallowed thickly as she whispered, “If you hurt her...”

“I will personally hand myself over to the executioner.” Kara said with utter sincerity, no humour or casualness behind her words.

She meant it.

Just the idea, the mere possibility, of hurting Lena made her want to throw herself in the darkest cell and hide away from the light.

“Good,” Ruby’s eyes swept round to meet Kara’s, “I’m glad we understand each other, because…” Ruby tilted her head to the side, a soft smile appearing that brightened up her entire face, “you make her happy.” Warmth radiated from Kara’s chest at that, and she reached out to gratefully squeeze Ruby’s forearm to show how much that meant to her. “Even happier than she gets on water-gun Wednesdays which is very happy.”

Kara blinked as she took in this new piece of information, “Water gun Wednesdays, huh?”

“Yep.” Ruby replied, popping the word as a mischievous glint appeared in her eyes that reminded Kara of Alex in so many ways.

“Today’s Wednesday…” Kara announced unnecessarily.

“So it is…” Ruby smirked.

  


* * *

 

 

“Ruby? Come out, come out wherever you are…” Kara singsonged under her breath, keeping her back against the stable wall as she approached the door, the water gun firmly gripped in her hands, her finger twitching against the trigger.

Ruby had retrieved two full water guns from a cupboard tucked away in Lena’s private rooms. The two then stood back to back on the long open lawn, and counted to ten as they walked away from each other.

On the count of ten, it was all out war.

Though Kara had regularly had water fights with her parents as she was growing up, she hadn’t really indulged once they had passed away. Kara, Alex and her friends would often play laser tag, which she was pretty good at so she at least wasn’t totally hopeless against Ruby, whose aim was deadly and who had the tactical thinking akin to a four star general.

Water guns, however, brought back a whole host of memories of times long forgotten with her parents. Kara expected to be somewhat negatively impacted by this but she found herself only remembering the fun she used to have and whilst she missed her parents, as she screeched and ran away from Ruby’s deadly aim, the largest part of her merely regretted not enjoying moments like this all the sooner.

Kara had lost sight of Ruby after being ambushed (for the sixth time) in a thicket of trees across the manicured lawn. She had been carefully making her way around the edge of the open lawn, fully aware that Ruby was either stalking or laughing at her from a hidden away lookout spot. It was then that Kara glimpsed a figure ducking into the stable. Finally feeling like revenge was in her grasp, Kara had hurried over to the stables, and was now ready to make her move.

Kara took a deep breath, gave a motivational speech to herself in her head and charged.

She stepped through the open doorway, raised her super-water-blaster 3000 and fired as she shouted out, “HA! GOT YOU!”

A large burst of water hit the person stood before her square in the face.

It was in that moment, Kara realised that the person she had hit was not Ruby.

For starters, they were too tall.

They were also male.

He was dressed in a sharp black business suit with a grey tie. He had very short black hair and was spluttering against the blast of water that had presumably gone in his mouth as he had turned to say something to stop her. The water was dripping from his face and had significantly dampened the top half of his clothes.

“Oh, sh-sugar!” Kara exclaimed, the gun falling from her hands and hitting the floor with a resounding thunk.

The man squinted up at his attacker and Kara swore, as she recognised her innocent victim, that she would willingly die of embarrassment if it meant avoiding the upcoming conversation. “Pr-pr-prime minister,” Kara stuttered, her face a blistering red of shame and her features scrunched up in the ultimate cringe. “I am so, _so_ sorry.”

The prime minister waved a hand, extracting a handkerchief from his jacket breast pocket to begin wiping the water out of his eyes, “Water gun Wednesdays?” He guessed, a deep knowing chuckle escaping. “This isn’t the first time…” He revealed with a helpless shrug, adding with a conspiratorial murmur that reminded Kara of every reason why she had liked the prime minister during her interview with him, “and I hope it won’t be the last.”

“Still… I’m so sorry.” Kara continued, wringing her now empty hands together as she rushed to try and explain her actions. “I- I- I-... I was playing with Ruby but... she seems to be employing some serious guerrilla warfare tactics, also my sister has been running spontaneous attack drills on me and… it’s all kind of made me twitchy, I guess.”

Whilst Kara rambled uninterrupted, the prime minister managed to clear the water from his eyes and look up to fully take in who exactly it was he was speaking to. Both eyebrows shot up as he took in the sight of the also slightly dripping blonde. “Kara Danvers?” He muttered in confusion.

Kara ducked her head and swallowed as her mind raced to come up with a reason, any reason, that would justify her presence.

“What are you-” The prime minister stopped himself from fully voicing the question allowing silence to settle in the stable, the two of them remaining totally still. “I see.” He said quietly, his tone neutral and betraying nothing.

Kara lifted her head and quirked it to one side, “You see? You see what?” Kara questioned nervously, but the prime minister’s face was also blank and unreadable. “Haha… you see that there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for why I am here… right now… and… it is… err…” Kara stammered, struggling desperately to find the right words. When nothing sprung forth, Kara deflated, her shoulders slumping forward as she whispered defeatedly, “I don’t want to lie to you-”

“Then don’t.” The prime minister cut in softly, yet determinedly. “I have not asked why you are here, have I?”

“No.” Kara replied, watching the man curiously.

“Then no more needs to be said on the matter.” He said with a simple nod that apparently settled the entire issue. “Enjoy your game, Miss Danvers.” The prime minister bowed his head respectfully, and shot her a gentle smile.

“Thank you, prime minister.” Kara breathed out earnestly.

“No.” The prime minister shook his head, refusing to accept her gratitude. “Thank _you_.” Kara’s brow immediately furrowed as she tried to figure out exactly what was going through the prime minister’s mind that made him think Kara deserved a thank you after shooting him in the face with water. “I understand now.” The prime minister whispered, moving towards the door but coming to a stop beside Kara, ensuring his words would be spoken directly into Kara’s ear. “She’s smiling again. Really smiling.”

 

* * *

  


“Hey…” Kara winced out in greeting, trying desperately to hide the water gun behind her back and resolutely ignore the small puddle she was steadily creating from her soaked through clothing.

“You’re wet.” Lena said curtly as she approached Kara, her gaze sweeping up and down Kara’s form. The Queen had changed out of her smart business wear, choosing to return to jeans, trainers and a soft grey t-shirt that made Kara wanted to cuddle up to her. Lena tilted her head thoughtfully to the side and whispered to Kara, licking her lips slowly, “I’m going to be honest… I was really hoping to say that under rather different circumstances.”

Kara blushed at the seductive tone and smirk on Lena’s face. “Sorry.”

Lena shook her head fondly at Kara’s sudden shyness, her green eyes sparkling in the late afternoon sun, “The only thing you should apologise for…” Lena breathed, leaning forward to brush her lips against Kara’s cheek, “Is letting your guard down.”

Kara pursed her lips and her brow scrunched up in perplexity, “Wha-”

“Now, Ruby!” Lena yelled, jumping backwards and to the side to reveal Ruby wielding a bucket of water that she swung forward to unleash a torrent of water that doused Kara from head to toe.

“AH!” Kara yelped, spluttering in outrage, “You’ve teamed up! That’s not fair!”

The only response that came from Lena and Ruby was matching evil cackles as they sprinted away and into the woods.

Kara quickly shouldered her water gun, and readied herself to storm after them when, “Don’t worry, I’ve got your back.”

Kara looked around to see Sam jogging towards her, also dripping wet and with an equal fire in her eyes, water gun in hand.

“Sam?”

“Just pull your weight. I play to win.” Sam shouted over her shoulder as she dashed past Kara intent on seeking out their foes.

“Right…”, Kara coughed, starting to worry that she might be ridiculously out of her depth.

 

* * *

  


“Good day?” Lena asked as the two of them settled into bed later that night, both having showered and dried off in the aftermath of their war.

“One of the best.” Kara replied sincerely, holding an arm open for Lena to curl up into her side as she’d been accustomed to doing.

“I’m really glad you met Ruby,” Lena revealed, kissing a spot on Kara’s neck tenderly to emphasise the sincerity of her statement and in thanks for letting her share Kara’s space. “Sam just texted to say she won’t stop gushing over you.”

Kara’s chest swelled with pride at that, and she squeezed Lena tighter against her. “That kid is awesome. Utterly kickass.”

“Yeah, she is.” Lena breathed, her slightly cold nose rubbing against Kara’s warm skin and creating a trail of goosebumps.

“Lena…” Kara murmured, her fingers stroking Lena’s side soothingly to soften the seriousness of what she was about to reveal.

“Yeah?” Lena prompted sleepily.

“I… uhh…” Kara falteringly began, “kind of… umm... ran into the prime minister today.”

Lena’s breathing which had been gradually getting deeper and deeper, suddenly returned to normal and her body, which had been loose and pliable, became stiff and tense. “You did?”

“I may or may not have shot water at him.” Kara winced, trying to push her body back into the mattress so that it consumed her entirely.

Lena pushed herself up onto her elbow and stared down at Kara, “Aw, Kara.” Lena chuckled, using her free hand to cup Kara’s cheek, her thumb moving lightly and encouragingly over her cheekbone. “Tell me what happened.”

Kara took a deep breath and rambled out the entire story, from being ambushed by Ruby to the prime minister’s whispered declaration before leaving the stable, barely pausing for breath at any point. Lena listened attentively, not once interrupting, just letting Kara get everything out of her system.

“Since Theonia is a new government,” Kara queried, continuing on past her story and onto her newly founded fears, “does that mean certain old positions will now fall under the administration of the government. For example... you know… coinmaster, steward…” Kara’s eyes darted around the room, refusing to meet Lena’s steady gaze as she added untactfully, “executioner. I’m mean they wouldn’t just put Frank out of a job would they? Especially if they had clear need for someone with his set of skills… Like… when someone attacks the prime minister with a water gun…”

“Kara.” Lena called out, once Kara finally paused her panicked rant to take a much needed breath. “I’m going to be honest with you…” Lena said, her fingers dancing across Kara’s cheek and jaw, her expression sober, “that is very possible.”

“I can’t tell if you’re joking…” Kara murmured uneasily.

“In all seriousness…” Lena shrugged, “the prime minister... he won’t say anything. He…” Lena glanced away, her eyes becoming glazed over with familiar shadows of the past, “he can be trusted.”

Kara sighed, lifting herself up so that her forehead was pressed comfortingly against Lena’s to ground her in the present. “I saw the photo.” Kara admitted, not needing to explain what photo she was talking about.

“He was a royal guard here when I was younger…” Lena breathed out calmly, the minor tremble that was pervading her body, that Kara could feel only because they were pressed so close together, was the only indicator that Lena was undergoing some sort of emotional turmoil. “He was the closest thing I had to what a real father should be.”

Kara curled her arms tighter around Lena, and lightly rolled her so that Lena was the one on her back and Kara was hovering above her. Kara gently peppered sweet kisses over Lena’s face, desperate to remove any and all heartache that Lena had suffered from.

“I don’t like to talk about it… our relationship can never be what it once was. But even now…” Lena muttered distractedly, her eyes slipping closed under Kara’s careful ministrations.

“He’ll protect you.” Kara summed up, pausing after placing a light kiss to Lena’s lips.

“Yes.” Lena proclaimed without any indication of doubt.

“I wish…” Kara started, her blue eyes studying Lena’s face and memorising every little detail she could. “I wish you didn’t have to keep sacrificing what you love.”

Lena reached up and tucked a stray lock of hair behind Kara’s ear, “Me too.”


	27. The Universe Sends a Sign

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a chapter you've all been waiting for.

“Okay… Let me get this straight.” Lena began, trying to hold back the outrage simmering below the surface as she lifted a hand up in warning to ensure neither Sam nor Lucy attempted to speak over her. “The _ ‘big plan’ _ is for Kara and I to date in secret until we are engaged?” 

Both Sam and Lucy winced at the emphasis and instantly shrunk back in their spots across the room. 

It was mid-morning, Sam and Lucy had just finished running through the key parts of the plan that would enable a future for Lena and Kara. The three of them were in Lena’s office; Jess was guarding the door having been given express orders for them not to be disturbed (Lena wouldn’t have been surprised if her secretary had set up barbed wire and booby traps to fully secure the area). Lena was sat behind her desk, her hands reflexively gripping and un-gripping the arms of her chair in time with the waves of emotions running through her. Sam and Lucy were stood in front of a large television screen, usually hidden behind a mechanical bookcase, that was currently displaying a graph of Kara’s projected approval ratings over time with the key milestones in their plan dotted along the path to highlight the expected impact. 

“I know how it sounds-”, Sam said, trying to be as placating as possible.

“It sounds like I’m hiding her until she proves herself worthy.” Lena snapped, crossing her arms over her chest as her jaw tensed and untensed in time with the muscles of her hands.

“No.” Sam refuted immediately, shaking her head profusely with wide, shocked eyes.

“Exactly.” Lucy, meanwhile, agreed at the same time.

“Not helping.” Sam muttered out of the side of her mouth in reprimand to the Commander. 

Lucy merely shrugged and leaned casually back against the wall, gesturing with a hand for Sam to step up as sacrifice to quell Lena’s fury. Shaking her head with exasperation, Sam strode forward and rested her hands on the edge of Lena’s desk, meeting Lena’s dark glare head on with a steady gaze. 

“You are not  _ hiding  _ Kara.” Sam asserted confidently, saying each word slowly and sincerely to guarantee that Lena did not doubt her. “You’re protecting her. When you gave me permission to come up with a way to make this work, you gave me  _ one  _ condition.”

“Kara’s happiness must be the priority.” Lena repeated, deflating ever so slightly at the reminder. Sam had agreed to the condition instantly, and Lena had no reason to think Sam wouldn’t do as asked or as she promised (recent subterfuge involving Kara being smuggled into the country notwithstanding). Guilt flared up in the pit of Lena’s stomach as she recognised that her excessive harshness was due to mistakenly presuming, for no reason, that Sam would come up with a plan that could be considered callous or cruel. 

Lena, though, could be forgiven for her hair-trigger emotional state. The last few days had been, without a doubt, the happiest days of Lena’s life and Kara was one of the main reasons for that. She’d even taken to baking souffles again (not that Lena was going to tell Sam that as she was well aware of the look she would receive in response). Admittedly all of her attempts so far were still coming out either burnt or smoking from the oven but the level of recovery was improving with each passing day. Over half of yesterday’s souffle was edible and Kara vehemently declared that the parts she could eat were the best souffle she’d ever had. 

This meeting, however, epitomised the sword that had been hanging over it all. 

The itch that had been at the back of Lena’s mind ever since she’d gotten back from the hospital to find Kara - her beautiful, glorious Kara - waiting for her in the kitchen. 

This entire week had been blissful, but Lena didn’t allow herself to forget that they were sheltered in a bubble on the precipice of breaking with so much as a minor reference to the future. 

“Right.” Sam muttered preventing Lena from voicing the apology that was on the tip of her tongue. Sam gave a soft smile, confirming that she understood what Lena was about to say but was letting her know that it wasn’t necessary. 

Lena reached over and squeezed her best friend’s hand gratefully for a second, conveying how much Sam meant to her and what she was trying to do with a single action, before settling back in her seat and encouraging Sam to continue.

“Whilst I,” Sam gestured to herself first then jerked her thumb back over to Lucy, “and anyone with a half-brain”, Lucy rolled her eyes in mock annoyance at the comment, but the playful smirk on her face revealed just how much she loved having friends who weren’t afraid to banter with her, “who sees you two together for more than a second, know that what you have is the real thing, you’ve only known each other for… realistically…” Sam cringed somewhat, trying to soften the blow of a timescale Lena was already acutely aware of.

“Three weeks.” Lucy cut in bluntly.

“I was going to round it up to a full month.” Sam murmured awkwardly. 

Lena understood the hesitancy with regards to actually stating how long Kara and her had known each other. Three weeks made the relationship appear small and not even remotely serious, which couldn’t be further from the truth for Lena. Kara already meant the world to Lena but when their relationship was given the clarification of being less than a month old… it made Lena feel like a silly teenager with a crush. It made her imagine her father ‘tsk’-ing loudly at her like he used to do whenever she showed an interest in something childish or mundane.

Lena closed her eyes for a second and pushed away the images consuming her mind before lifting her head and waving her hand encouragingly for her friends to continue, easily moving past what could have been a tense moment with her usual grace.

“You need time for your relationship to grow,” Sam explained softly, succinctly summing up the rationale for her plan, “and it’s going to struggle to do that if you’re under the scrutiny of the entire planet and having to listen to an extremely vocal portion of this country begging for it to fall apart.”

“And waiting until we get engaged...” Lena murmured in understanding.

“That way you both know you're committed to each other…  _ and _ everything that comes with that.” Sam raised her eyebrows to emphasise this final point and Lena tried not to think too hard about what exactly it would mean for Kara.

“Being engaged also helps in a lot of other ways.” Lucy stepped in, moving forward to rest her hip against the side of Lena’s desk, kindly offering the benefits in the hope of further soothing her majesty’s doubts. “It will be easier to get the people on board if they don’t see it as just a fling. If they can immediately see it as being serious.” 

Sam nodded in agreement and added, “It would also afford Kara a lot more protection from the nobles, who will be the most set against the relationship.” 

Lena watched in mild amusement as her two friends settled into taking turns to repeat all the advantages their plan offered. Lucy went next, clicking her fingers together, “It won’t be as easy for them to attack her in the press or manoeuvre against her if she’s the Queen’s betrothed.” 

“Also the responsibilities that come with being the Queen’s fiance would enable us to show, as we’ve planned out,” Sam said, putting on her best salesman smile, “that Kara deserves the people’s affection.”

The two went on like this for another couple of moments, Lena merely smiling gently at the antics of her two friends.

“Believe it or not,” Lena finally cut in, “I was listening when you were speaking earlier.”

“Repetition is the key to learning,” Sam defended with a huff, before shrugging and muttering, “or at least it helped Ruby with her spelling.” Lena and Lucy chuckled at that earning a pout of irritation from the chief of staff. 

Their amusement slowly faded and the seriousness of their conversation settled back over them. 

Sam exchanged a look with Lucy, before sighing and finishing off their pitch. “Waiting to go public is in Kara’s and yours best interest, and we have a clear strategy to handle public opinion once we can announce an engagement. What do you think?”

Lena rested her chin on the palm of her hand and considered everything she’d been told. “I don’t know.” Lena whispered honestly, Sam and Lucy were among a handful of people that she wasn’t afraid of appearing unsure in front of. She didn’t have to have all the answers when it came to them.

“I understand everything you’ve told me and the rationale behind your decisions, but…” Lena began, her eyes going downcast to take in the pile of papers stacked up on her desk, a visible sign of all the work she’d been avoiding since she was spending so much time with Kara. “There are no guarantees any of this will work.”

Sam considered this for a long moment, then countered earnestly, “When has there ever been?” 

Lena arched an eyebrow to indicate her agreement with that sentiment.

Lucy cleared her throat and Lena’s focus switched to her Commander who said humbly, “We’ve faced far worse odds than this, your majesty.”

That was true, Lena couldn’t deny that, but it did little to ease the internal dilemma she was facing.

Lena pushed back her chair and slowly swivelled it so that she was half-facing the warm, almost midday sun that was streaming through the window. 

She wondered what Kara was upto at that exact moment. 

She might be visiting the horses or exploring the grounds or working on her plan for her next set of articles. Lena wanted the blonde by her side more than anything in that moment. Just seeing Kara would lift the weight that had settled on her chest. Just seeing Kara would help her push away the logic and reasoning that was keeping her from saying ‘screw it, let me be happy’.

“This could bring a lot of pain and turmoil to a lot of people…” Lena breathed, her throat tightening significantly, attempting in vain to catch the next two words, “especially Kara.”

“This could also bring a lot of joy and love to a lot of people…” Sam replied, “especially Kara, and definitely you.”

Lena took a deep breath, and clasped her hands together in her lap, only slightly ashamed of the tremble in her fingers as she gave herself permission to be more honest with her closest friends than she ever had before.

“I’ve spent the majority of my life stumbling along in the dark making decisions that will impact a lot of people.” Lena confessed, “Decisions that could destroy lives if I felt so compelled. For all those times I could rely on my morals and my friends to aid me in figuring out the right way forward. This though…” Lena swallowed and shook her head sadly, “isn’t a moral decision. And, though you are offering help which I greatly appreciate,” Lena flashed her two friends, who were watching her closely, their faces blank, a quick, grateful smile, “this won’t radically change the lives of my friends… this is purely personal. It’s the most inherently selfish decision I’ve ever faced and I don’t know what to do. I know what I want, but I have become so conditioned to not letting my personal preferences influence my choices that I don’t know how to decide.”

Lena closed her eyes for a heartbeat absorbing the warmth of the sun that gave her the same settled and at peace feeling she got whenever she was in Kara’s company. With a soft exhale, Lena turned her chair back to directly face her two companions.

“I know it’s pathetic and illogical…” Lena explained, the flicker of self-loathing evident in her tone, “but… I just want a sign. Something… anything…” Lena hated how desperate she sounded, hated the crack and croak that was audible in her voice, “that let’s me know it’s okay to be selfish, just this once. That let’s me know it’s okay to fight for something that only I want... just this once.” Lena tapped a solitary finger against the arm of her chair, unable to meet Sam or Lucy’s gaze as she admitted to her childish wish. “Just one sign to let me know I’ve earned it, you know? Is that too much to ask for?” Lena asked ashamed.

Sam and Lucy spoke in unison, their voices clear and utterly sincere as they answered her question. “No, your majesty.”

 

* * *

  
  


Lena sought out Kara’s company for lunch and found the blonde halfway through constructing a blanket fort monstrosity in the living room that the two of them had made their own over the past few days. Kara pouted disappointedly about Lena arriving early and spoiling the surprise, an expression Lena managed to sweep away with a deep kiss and brush of her tongue. Kara, once they had parted, went onto explain in a long-winded ramble that Ruby had mentioned in passing how the Arias girls and Lena used to make blanket and pillow forts when they were all living together and Kara couldn’t resist building one for Lena. 

Before Lena had a chance to say thank you, Kara was giving her an impromptu tour of her work so far. There was three ‘rooms’, the first room was the largest and opened up on one side to allow viewing of the television, the coffee table was also in there to place the picnic-like lunch full of snacks on it, and there was a multitude of pillows to allow for lounging. Off the right-hand side was a small room, taken up entirely by the armchair that Lena would regularly curl up on Kara’s lap on. Kara declared that this room was for story-time, earning herself an appreciative kiss on the cheek. The room off the left-hand side was overflowing with more pillows and blankets. When asked what this room was for, Kara blushed a bright red and mumbled ‘cuddling’ with a hopeful twinkle in her eye. Lena smirked at the term which simply made Kara’s face turn even redder.

The two of them shared lunch together in the blanket fort once Lena had finished helping with the construction work, laughing and teasing one another most of the time. 

Lena remained quiet about her meeting with Sam and Lucy, wanting more time to think it all over for herself but promising that she would talk to Kara in the evening. Lena had to attend parliament for a speech the prime minister was giving that afternoon announcing the government’s intention to invest in apprenticeships across technical disciplines and professions over the next year. Lena was reticent to start the heavy discussion of their future with Kara when they would have to pause halfway through, therefore she chose to enjoy this much needed respite and save the conversation for when they could talk uninterrupted. 

Time, as it always did in Kara’s company, flew by and Lena struggled to pull herself away from Kara’s bright grin and warm embrace. Lena was starting to worry about how it was getting harder and harder to leave Kara’s side as the week steadily ticked by, but she pushed the concern down like she always did, drew herself up to her full height and went to work.

The parliament buildings in National City were new and purpose built, utterly free from history enabling it to serve as a blank canvas upon which to set Theonia on a new course. The building was glass and steel with wooden detailing here and there to keep it grounded in Theonian culture. The inside was light and free of the heavy artefacts and furniture that made up other European countries seats of power. The Commons Chamber was at the very heart of the building, the various ministers’ offices spiraling out from the large room along well ordered corridors.  

Lena’s seat in parliament was in the front row on the left hand side of the main room. The original plan when designing the Commons Chamber was for the Queen to have something akin to a throne presiding over the government, Lena had shot that down immediately. Instead she had a seat that tradition would mean was always left empty for her but was in no way different to the other seats in parliament. 

Lena settled into her seat, encouraging everyone to sit back down as they had all rose to their feet and bowed deeply during her entrance. With the Queen’s permission to continue as normal, murmurs and whispered conversations pervaded the chamber as they waited for the prime minister to step up and make his televised speech.

Lena was grateful to find M’gann occupying the spot next to her, and the two politely caught up. Lena would have asked more personal questions (the two were good friends) but the people around them and general scrutiny they were both under prevented her from doing so. Lena caught sight of J’onn across the room, his eyes were running over a few sheets of paper in hands, his right forefinger tapping against the page (an almost imperceptible nervous tic) which was surprising. The prime minister didn’t get nervous for speeches anymore (something he used to suffer from during his campaigning and early days in the position), especially not on such a mundane day and not about such an uncontroversial topic.

Lena watched him curiously, she had read through his speech yesterday during their weekly catch up meeting at the Palace and he hadn’t appeared to be even remotely anxious about today’s speech. J’onn looked up and saw Lena observing him, he shot her a rare soft smile and nodded his head to reassure her before getting to his feet and moving up to the lectern. The light on the cameras at the back of the chamber turned red and J’onn began his speech with his usual gravitas.   

Lena listened along attentively out of respect for her old friend, but since she’d read it previously it was hard to give it her entire focus. Her mind was still turning over the dilemma she was faced with.

Be selfish and risk failing in her duty to put the needs of her people first?

Or give up the only person Lena had ever lo-

Lena sighed, her eyes stinging and her heart clenching in her chest at the heavy loss either choice would result in, she was thankful to realise that J’onn’s speech was coming to a close and she shuffled in her seat readying herself to applaud at the conclusion.

“I believe Theonia will continue to be at the forefront of technology and education with this investment.” J’onn concisely summarised, his deep voice reverberating emphatically around the chamber, “With the spotlight on our country, now is the time to rise up. To inspire and guide… not just each other but the entire world.”

Lena made to clap her hands together but a gentle touch to her elbow prevented her from doing so.

“Your majesty, he is not finished.” M’gann murmured.

“What? That was end of the speech,” Lena replied under her breath, “he showed it to me.”

M’gann merely arched an eyebrow and discretely gestured towards J’onn who had yet to retreat from the lectern, “Listen, your majesty.”

J’onn ducked his head for a moment, a heavy pause settling over the room as he turned over a page before lifting his head back up and puffing his chest out like he used to do when he stand at attention in front of Lena when she was still young enough for him to lift her onto his shoulders.

“I am very proud of my country, of my home.” J’onn started solemnly, his gaze sweeping around the room and slowly making eye contact with everyone where possible except for Lena. “I want us to be leaders in the international community because I think we can add so much more to this world. And I don’t just mean our intellect or inventions. I don’t mean our history or literature either. Theonia’s greatest attribute is  _ us _ .” J’onn’s hands tightened around the edge of the stand, gripping tightly to subtly hide the nervous tap of his forefinger. “The Theonian people have had - I will never lie especially not about our pasts - our fair share of moments of weakness. Moments where we have let fear, doubt and uncertainty change the values we hold so dear. Those values that we teach to our children and hold above all others. Values like courage, kindness, steadfastness and… tolerance.”

J’onn swallowed and when he spoke next his tone was softer, more personal. 

Lena tilted her head to the side struggling to work out what exactly the prime minister was upto.

“Tolerance is often the most overlooked value that humanity is capable of.” J’onn continued, “Tolerance is about accepting and supporting one another. Despite our differences and similarities. I look at the rest of the world and find tolerance to be the one thing we are capable of better than anyone else. We have been through a war and come out of it stronger than we were before due to our ability to turn our cheek and move forwards to a brighter future together.” Lena’s heart swelled at the compliments to her people, their achievements and ability to rise above it all always made her proud and honoured to carry out her duties as their Queen. 

“The reason I believe us to be so capable is that we truly want each other to be happy.” J’onn finally glanced over at Lena; his eyes, for only a second, were far more expressive than they had been for years, revealing the affection for her that he had hidden away. “We want our family, friends and neighbours to be joyful, for their lives to be full of love.”

Lena’s stomach swooped, and her heart jumped into her throat.

This was for her.

It was all for her.

“It is often forgotten... but love is a blessing.” J’onn cleared his throat and broke eye contact with Lena, his features schooled and composed, so as to avoid drawing attention. “It is an everyday miracle that everyone should experience but not everyone gets to. Therefore, it should be viewed as precious, it should be cheered for, protected and supported in every manner it presents itself.” J’onn clasped his hands in front of him, and raised his chin. “If the world learns only one thing about us as a nation, let it be that Theonia is a country of tolerant people, who celebrate love in all its forms for whoever is lucky enough to be blessed by it.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


Lena arrived back at the Palace on autopilot, she’d finally decided what she was going to do the second J’onn had looked at her during his speech. She was going to do what she should have done weeks ago. 

Her first stop was the chief of staff’s office, she strolled in without hesitation, looked her best friend in the eye and said, “Selfish. I chose to be selfish. Put things in place, please.”

Sam jolted in her seat and blinked rapidly in shock, her reply coming out without much forethought, “At once, your majesty.”

Lena then promptly about-turned and marched back out of the office, not pausing to respond to the loud whoop of delight and victory that followed her exit.

Trusting her instincts to lead her, Lena headed to their kitchen desperate to find Kara.

Upon reaching the door, Lena innately sensed the blonde’s presence on the other side, she took a deep breath and mustered her courage before gently pushing it open.

Kara was sat at the kitchen table, her eyes sweeping from left to right over a laptop screen as she nibbled on her bottom lip in obvious concentration. She was dressed in Lena’s Skylark jumper, having laid claim to it this morning, and a pair of slightly faded, low-slung jeans. Her sun-spun hair was piled up into a messy bun leaving her neck and face free of its weight. 

Lena stayed silent and still, appreciating the sight and committing it to her memory bank along with the thousands of other precious Kara images and moments she’d gathered thus far. This one, though, Lena hoped to be one of the most important in their relationship and she didn’t want to ever forget it.

As quietly as possible, Lena kicked off her killer heels and draped her beige coat over the kitchen island before moving closer to the blonde. 

Kara sensing her approach, looked up, her blue eyes blinking quickly as they switched their focus away from the computer screen. Lena could pinpoint the exact moment Kara registered her presence, and it made the last shred of doubt about what she was about to do absolutely vanish.

Kara’s expression had been neutral, almost business-like as she concentrated on whatever she was reading, but the second she saw Lena everything changed. Her blue eyes brightened immediately and a twinkle appeared in them that not even an animated Disney character could hope to emulate. Her entire body turned in her chair to face Lena more directly, and her hands which had been resting near the keyboard reached out instinctively for Lena. Lena registered all of these details, but the one she focused on the most was Kara’s smile.

The wide, uninhibited grin that was quintessentially Kara appeared instantly and settled to look like it would never vanish again.  

“Hey, are you okay?” Kara inquired, picking up on something in Lena’s intense demeanour.

“I love you.” Lena said without hesitation.

Kara’s jaw went slack and her eyes went as wide as saucers.

“You… You… You”, Kara stammered, her hands trembling as they lifted up into the space between them.

Lena interlaced her fingers with Kara’s, surprised at how unafraid she felt. Her entire body was buzzing and her mind was racing with everything she had been pushing down since the day she met Kara. She was finally allowing herself to experience her feelings for Kara to their fullest and she found herself absolutely unafraid of them. 

They were too good. Too pure.

It was true love and Lena had no reason to feel anything but excited by that.

“I love you.” Lena repeated, chuckling blissfully at how Kara’s mouth seemed to open and close in a similar manner to a fish. “I want to say more, so much more… I want to use thousands upon thousands of words to describe how much you mean to me. How much happiness you bring into my life. I want to tell you that I didn’t really believe in love until I met you.” Lena confessed, freeing one hand from Kara’s, to cup Kara’s cheek tenderly. 

“I want to tell you that my heart no longer belongs to me…”, Lena whispered reverently as she revealed, “that it’s yours and has been yours since you fell backwards into my kitchen. I want to tell you how beautiful and wonderful you are and how lucky I am just to have met you let alone be with you.” Kara visibly swallowed and her eyes shone as tears silently slipped down her face, tears which Lena lightly rubbed away with a swipe of her thumb. “I want to tell you so much but I don’t think I have the words to do any of it justice. All I have is… I love you and I hope that conveys everything I am incapable of saying.”

Kara closed her eyes and shook her head, “Lena,” she murmured slowly, “those three words are everything, I promise.” Kara opened her eyes, revealing a radiant shade of blue and she carefully got to her feet, her hands moving to Lena’s hips as she leaned forward to place her forehead against Lena’s. “I love you and my heart belongs to you too.”

“Kara.” Lena breathed out her name like it was a prayer, her body soaring at the sheer amount of reciprocated love she was feeling. “I love you.” Lena repeated, it was like admitting it the first time had broken down the gates and now she couldn’t stop herself from saying it at every available opportunity.

“I love you, too.” Kara whispered and suddenly they were kissing, Kara had closed the distance and captured Lena’s bottom lip between her own.

This was different to all the other times for Lena. This time she was allowing herself to feel everything to its fullest...

It was the difference between a lake and an ocean.

A galaxy and the universe.

It was as if everything had been dialled down to the lowest setting and Lena had just turned the dial up to 11.

Lena’s arms instantly wrapped around Kara’s neck and she eagerly pushed herself into Kara’s body, eliminating all space between them as she ignored, what she now regarded to be, the pointless need for oxygen. Kara, in turn, dipped down slightly, her hands trailing from Lena’s hips to her thighs teasingly before she gripped carefully and lifted Lena up with ease. 

Lena let out a joyous laugh at the sudden loss of the floor beneath her feet, her legs wrapping tightly around Kara’s waist immediately. Lena wasn’t going to lie… ever since Kara had picked her up and moved her out of the way the second night they had met, she’d been rather eager for a repeat performance.

Kara twirled them around, darting forward every other second to steal a sweet kiss.

Even Lena had to admit, with the orange sunset illuminating the kitchen, Kara’s disney smile firmly in place and being held securely in Kara’s arms… it was like something out of a fairytale.

Lena giggled, completely unconcerned about how childish their display would appear to an outsider. She was in the arms of the woman she loved. The woman who loved her back. Who cares what anyone else would think? 

As Kara’s twirls slowed down, Lena smirked seductively, keen to move things in a different direction, and ducked forward with the intent of putting as many marks on Kara’s neck as she could without the blonde’s knees giving out.

“Lena…”, Kara whined, her entire body trembling under Lena’s ministrations.

Lena left a trail of light kisses across Kara’s jaw leading up to her ear, where she commanded in a gentle whisper, “Take me to bed, please.”

Kara’s body went utterly still and her muscles tensed upon hearing the order; she slowly turned her head around to make eye contact with Lena. Her blue eyes were dark and filled with promise. “As you wish, my Queen.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


“So…”, Kara began, drawing the single word out as she gradually returned to an even breathing pattern.

“Yes, my love?” Lena inquired, drawing upon the last vestiges of her energy to lift her head from Kara’s chest to look the love of her life in the eye.

“You ramble.” Kara commented, a childish spark of glee to her expression which greatly contrasted to the fierce, almost authoritative attitude Kara had been employing to devastating effect only a few minutes ago. 

Lena smiled, adoring that Kara was far more layered and complex than most people gave her credit for. Most people who met Kara would only ever see the bright smile and optimistic outlook, and whilst this was a large portion of Kara’s everyday attitude it wasn’t her whole personality.

Kara’s past was littered with tragedy and loss, her sunshine persona was purposefully bright to blind most people to the hurt hidden beneath. Lena felt beyond trusted and honoured that Kara had felt comfortable enough to remove her walls and let Lena see what most people didn’t. Kara was without a doubt one of the strongest people Lena had ever met. Her past hadn’t once darkened her view of the world or her continued belief in other people.

Whilst some people might view Kara to be naive or overtrusting, Lena knew the truth. Kara wanted to believe the best in people but that didn’t make her a pushover, she stood up for what was right with a fierceness that always made Lena feel protected in a way she hadn’t done for years. 

People would look at Kara and see a damsel in the distress, they would reduce her to the pretty blonde love interest but Lena knew better. Lena knew that under that big, beaming grin was the heart of a hero and as Lena grew more and more comfortable with her decision to fight for a future with Kara, the more her fears eased. 

Her people were going to love Kara, of that Lena had no doubt. 

“Only for you, my love. Only for you.” Lena whispered honestly causing Kara to blush, and stroke her fingertips down Lena’s bare back affectionately, understanding the deeper meaning of Lena’s words.

“Good.” Kara said, tilting her head forward to kiss Lena’s forehead, before asking quietly, the familiar deep crease appearing on her forehead, “What happens now?” 

Lena shrugged, placing a kiss in return on Kara’s sternum before pushing herself up into a sitting position and stretching her arms up above her head to remove the tautness caused by recent exertions. “I was thinking of making us a midnight snack,” Lena announced, “we appear to have missed dinner and I can hear the beast in your belly roaring for sustenance.” Lena poked Kara’s stomach which immediately gurgled in response.

The crease in Kara’s forehead disappeared to be replaced by a dreamy expression that only ever appeared when Kara was fantasising about food, “Hmm… waffles?” 

“If that is what you want then that is what you shall have.” Lena promised, shuffling towards the edge of the bed, intent on seeking out a robe to get dressed in before heading down to the kitchen.

“Yes, please.” Kara replied, her hand, though, reached out to lightly grab Lena’s elbow at the same time. Lena turned back in surprise to find Kara looking far more vulnerable than she ever had before staring down at the bedspread, unable to make eye contact with Lena. “But uh… that wasn’t what I was asking about…”

“What were you asking about?” Lena prompted gently, moving closer to the blonde, her arms encircling Kara from behind to reassure her that she was listening and not going anywhere.

Kara tilted her head to the side, enabling her to lay a grateful kiss on Lena’s bare shoulder, before nervously voicing her question, “What comes next… for us? What’s the plan?”

Lena blinked in surprise, instinctively squeezing Kara closer to her as she stated, as if it was obvious, “The plan is me and you figuring out how we are going to make this work for the both of us.”

Yes, Lena had decided she wanted this relationship.

Yes, she had decided that she was willing to do whatever it takes to make this work but…

It was a relationship between her  _ and _ Kara.

Both her and Kara would decide the shape and path they wanted their relationship to take. Later on if, or when, the public was made aware of their relationship, they would inevitably receive surplus  _ advice  _ from a variety people but Lena had no intention of letting anyone other than the two of them have a say.

Her and Kara would decide what they wanted and how best to achieve that. Together.

“Long distance is difficult.” Kara remarked sadly.

“I know.” Lena agreed, pushing back the stab of fear that Kara might decide their relationship wasn’t worth trying but accepting that Kara had every right to do so. 

Kara had been kind enough to give her time and space to choose, and Lena would do the same. Lena would never force Kara into anything, especially not something that could very likely make her miserable. 

“But I love you,” Lena reinforced, wanting to prove to Kara that after all her uncertainty, her mind was finally made up and she was onboard, one hundred per cent, “and I won’t give you up for anything.”

“I love you too.” Kara responded without hesitation.

Lena took a deep breath and asked the million dollar question, “Is that enough?”

“Is what enough?” Kara repeated, mildly confused.

Lena rested her chin on Kara’s shoulder and breathed out, “Is loving me enough to try and make long distance work?”

Kara was whirling around in Lena’s arms before she’d fully finished the question.

Her blue eyes were wide with shock and her hands instantly went to cup Lena’s face, “Yes. God, yes, Lena.” Kara declared quickly and fervently, “I’ve never wanted something to succeed as much as I do this. I can’t believe I let you think for even a second that you weren’t…” Kara’s voice cut out and she shook her head regretfully.

Lena made to speak but Kara was already rambling away, desperate to fix something that wasn’t broken. 

“I’m so sorry. See, the thing is… I’m a planner.” Kara explained, “I plan things. It helps me feel in control. I’m one of those people that makes itineraries when they go on holiday to maximise my time there. I research my articles to the nth degree out of fear of missing something important or getting a critical detail wrong. And you…” Kara’s breath caught in her throat and her fingers delicately curled around Lena’s jaw, holding her face as if she was the most precious thing in the known universe, “I don’t want to get this wrong. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I did.” Kara admitted quietly, her eyes intermittently fogging up with whatever dark images were clouding her mind. 

Lena reached out and settled her hands on Kara’s hips grounding her back in reality. 

Kara swallowed thickly and nodded her head in gratitude before continuing, “I love you Lena and you are worth going to hell and back for. An ocean is nothing in comparison to that.”

“Rambler.” Lena teased, leaning forward to rub their noses together fondly.

“You don’t stop me.” Kara pointed out with a huff.

“Why would I? I love your rambles.” Lena reminded her, feeling for the first time in forever like everything was going to turn out alright in the end. “Now, how about I make waffles whilst we make a plan, okay?”

“Yes, my Queen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one major bit of angst left now before we get to the engagement.
> 
> Out of personal curiosity who do you think will be the one to propose?
> 
> (I've already planned this story so I know who it is going to be but I'd be interested to know what you all think...)


End file.
